that loyalty is the stupidest thing ever.
too bad i live by it.
don't trust your friends.
all they do is lie.

dear world,
during the past months i have come to realize many things. much of these things being my relations with others.
people always say friends come and go. relationships are sacrificed for those seemingly "more important."
people talk shit, people get angry, lets face it, human kind is corrupt in its own way, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.
however, we can change the way we react.

friends, are becoming...aquaintances. people i used to call "close" are becoming distant.
i understant that this may be because i spend a lot of time with "the boy," however, i feel that, regardless of this sacrifice, regardless of all the anger my "friends" may be expressing because of this sacrifice, friends are always supposed to be there.
no matter what. regardless of the circumstances. friends are supposed to still be there when i decide to come back. right?
but now i know this is just some stupid dream.
people do come and go. i know that now. i've experienced that now.

you can't force people to sympathize with you. anger does things to people. neglect does things to people. feeling like a second class friend, that's normal.
because of recent circumstances, i've felt being neglected. i know how that feels. i felt the anger that resulted because of it. and i guess, i'm a little wiser than i was before. not everyone is as understanding, and unfortunately, many people fall out because of it. relationships fall apart because of misunderstandings.

don't take anyone for granted. everyone has the ablilty to leave something with you. weather it be a little more inspiration or a little more wiser than before. every person you encounter, leaves a lesson. and it's your choice to grow from that lesson that they leave with you.
i can't stop people from leaving me. i can't stop people from talking shit about me, and vice versa.

but i just wanted to say this to all those that judge me weather it be because of the way i look, act, or have treated them:
i am misunderstood.
i know that, i can sense that on a daily basis. honestly, i'd rather have it that everyone just be up front with me. if you think i'm drama, then so be it. i've come to realize that all that should matter really, is my own opinion, cause really, that's the only thing it really comes down to. what i think, how i feel, and what i know i am to be. because no one can know me better than myself. if you're angry at me, tell me. if i love you, then know it, know that i will always always be there for you, know that i will always always try to get to you when you need me, regardless of where i am. but if can't, don't be angry, but more reassured that i've tried to find all possible ways to be there for and with you. because i do try that, circumstances come up, but it doesn't change my love for those i care about. i fuck up a lot. i know someone that can tell you that first hand. but if you love me, then be there for me. i'm tired of going to those that i thought were my true friends and just getting that feeling of being shunned away trying to go under the radar. i'm not stupid, i know when i don't fit in your agenda anymore.

don't be going around talking shit, making that whole "he said, she said" business, becoming so "jr. high" and spreading rumors. half the time, your opinion, your story, what you've heard, all about me... its false.
the only way you'll ever know is if you confront me.
the only way you'll ever understand why i act the way i do, is if you confront me.

no assumptions. that's all i ask for.
no assumptions and honesty.
if you don't care for me any longer, tell me.
sure you'll hurt me, but honestly, think about how much more it will hurt if i find out from someone else.

we're all human, we all make mistakes.
i guess i'm just stepping into reality.
i'm not going to be as close to people as i've hoped.
however, i do want to thank those very, very, few people that have been there with me, and have stuck it through with me, and have never stopped showing me that they love me regardless of how bad, distant, or great our relationship has gotten.

people like that are honest with themselves.
i'm not saying i'm perfect because believe me, i am 100% flawed.
i'm just telling everyone how i feel.
because i'm 99.9% sure everyone else can relate.

&yes i've been watching too much degrassi.
hearts break.
hearts mend.
friendships fall apart.
new ones begin.

we each decide how it ends.
life doesn't just happen, you make life happen.
♥ tin

p.s. this is not directed towards any specific person.
this is simply just feelings typed out.