Well, I figured I'd throw out a little update since I have sometime before my yACM meeting. i'm probably gonna write for a hundred years but whatever.
k, well i am real pregnant. like 7 1/2 months pregnant! i have a little less than 8 weeks left, if he stays put until he's supposed to, and i am just so excited! i've had a really good pregnancy, i feel really lucky, but some stuff still sucks. my back hurts when i sit, and getting good sleep is a task, and trying to look cute is getting harder and harder..the more of my clothes i grow out of and the more maternity clothes i grow into, blehh. :( but whatever, i'm still SeXyYy minus the 35 lbs i've gained...and except not cause i got stretch marks on my toosh. i dont know how, i mean, i dont have them on my stomach which is like..LARGE, and my ass has grown not nearly as much but has all these ugly lines on my cheekz. AEERRRrR! at least no one sees my butt but me and daniel and he can get over it :) my boobs are real cute i just hope they stay cute fOrEvEr. anddd my son's name is Ezra Aaron Bazan. I prefer to pronounce the Aaron in spanish cause it sounds better but whatever. we chose ezra because, well i like it, but it also helped that its a bible name cause daniel and his other 6 siblings all have bible names so we decided to stick with that theme also. and aaron, for his brother that passed away this past year. Ezra is a jew from the old testament who led the Israelites from Babylonia back to Jerusalem after they issued a decree that they could return. ezra loved his Torah :) he was a good jew. soooo yeah. and no not like Abercrombie's Ezra Fitch, and not even like Better than Ezra unless you really want.
i have a baby dog! well she isn't a baby but her teeth are pretty clean so she must be young. belinda found her on a cold and rainy day and Lola tried to jump in her car but belinda couldnt keep her so she called me up and passed her to me and daniel and the rest is history! we've had her for almost three months and she is just the best dog ever! she is so friendly and loving. i feed her a lot of table food but mostly healthy stuff like fruits and veggies and whole grains..and meat and cheese on occassion..gotta incorporate all the food groups..and she is supposedly a chihuahua but i think she has terrier cause a) she is bigger than most chihuahuas b) she is cuter than most chihuahuas, doesnt have that crippled posture or bug eyes and c) she isn't an aggressive freak like chihuahuas. she loves to be friends with anyone including cats and dogs. she rarely barks except at some strange men she doesnt like or when she is being weird and barks at nothing outside..or so i think it's nothing..hm..um, i got her shots but i have yet to spay her. i dont wanna :( she is just the best even though she likes to kiss a lot and play outside a lot and eat old expired trash that was once edible when i take her on walks, she is also a great cuddler and study buddy and companion. MY FIRST DOG EVER :D
school is pretty great. i am being consistent in my classes. i'll probably get two or three A's [in food prep, computer sci., maybe a chem lab, or two or three B's [microbio, a chem lab, maybe biochem], or probably just a C in Biochem. but i am getting a good grasp on the material in that class so i'm not worried about the baby coming early. if he does, i'll survive.(he is due the weekend after school is out for summer). and i dont have a job so i just keep up in school, plan my wedding, do stuff for my sorority, do church stuff and be a housewife<3 it's pretty chill, i appreciate it very much.
being married is just so fun! i love living with daniel [and Lola]. he's my best friend and it's just wonderful! we get along really well and i love our home. i think we are moving in july though because my gramma wants to move to edinburg to take care of the baby while i finish up my last two years of school, but she wants us to move in the same neighborhood as her. that is kind of ok, cause my lease ends in july and i am tired of my neighborhood. our apartment is nicer than most but for some reason there is ALWAYS so much litter around the proximity. it's so gross and trashy, i hate it. i blame the neighbors..or the possums in the dumpster..or the dumpster divers or the wind..i dont know who, maybe all of em. but yeah, i am a good housewife, and i love having daniel as my husband, it makes my life that much better even when i am feeling all mopey about school or other obligations.
yesterday i got a crib and dresser/changer!! the nursery is well on its way..i will take pics later when everything is set up :D
my wedding is june 28 and i cant wait! you are probably invited if yr reading this. i am splitting the reception in half though because its too expensive to feed everyone daniel and i have ever known plus our family [both our dads come from families of 8-10] and family friends. so from 8-9:30 is the dinner, and than everyone can come for the cake and dance and stuff. so far we have a cake lady, a reception hall, a church, we almost have a caterer, a florist, and ideas for souvenirs, invitations are getting worked on, and i am trying to organize bridesmaids and stuff. i took a while to get on the ball with everything but its starting to play out, slowly but surely. anyway, i am excited to be not pregnant by then and get loose of some vino after 9 months of sobriety!
umm i think thats all i have time for, my meeting just started but thats a good update. basically, life is good. im happy being a young mother and wife, and i'm so grateful and blessed, i just wish I could share it with everyone. when people ask me how i stay so bright even when things maybe shouldnt be so good and promising, i give them my most honest answer and sometimes it seems like they dont take it seriously. they shrug it off like i'm just saying that just to say it and i'm just being cliche. but i really cant account for my happpiness, i've given up my life to God and credit him for everything i have, He takes care of everything. giving myself..its more than just something to say, but its really doing it, consciously doing it and staying in constant communication with Him. asking Him for things that matter, and then using those gifts to change our own life. we can do it ourselves, but fire needs fuel and we're all burnt out unless we continue reigniting ourselves on a daily basis even. i really feel so put together all the damn time and i see these crooked ass people like shannon, and they have nothing and they are so self-destructive that its upsetting and i just dont know how to get them to take me seriously. people ask you for yr advice, and its frustrating when they next call you telling you all these f*cked up things that is ok to them and then they wonder why their life sucks and why they cant find a guy to stick around and wah wah wah. if you ask for wisdom or grace or patience or love or peace of mind, you'll recieve it and you'll learn to apply them to your life in order to filter all the fucking pollution we've clouded our lives with. all the compromises we've made from childhood that have overruled the needs of our hearts with the wants of our minds. inviting, accepting, and using our spiritual gifts can bring together every element of what we are and where we are make sense of it to us. the world is evil's best weapon, it isn't until we can break away from our worldly nature, liberate ourselves from the enslavement of the earthly ailments that make us hate ourselves and feel sorry for ourselves, that we can really find contentment in the place we are in our lives, and if it's not a good place, at least one that we can move forward from, back to the divine self into which we were born. does that make any sense?
oops late to my meeting, love yall, bye