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___unlovable

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[for something ordinary, it's so extraordinary]

you fuckin' knows it!

Created on 2005-01-11 16:01:04 (#5730077), last updated 2005-04-09

301 comments received, 241 comments posted

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117 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Lordess Lexi
Birthdate:	01-21
Location:	United Kingdom

Bio

The current mood of ___unlovable at www.imood.com

http://www.makepovertyhistory.org


tura satana is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Am I unlovable?

Cynical, jaded, faithless, disappointed, disillusioned, used
If I could take back all my sweat, my tears, my sex, my joy I would
My time, my love, my effort, passion, dedication
In case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you
If I sound angry, bitter, sad, infatuated, it's the truth
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated and I'm stupid for believing in you

You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

I had your back, I held you up, I told you you were good enough
It was not reciprocated, you kept affection and yourself apart
You fed your love to me like crumbs to pigeons in the park
Sometimes I think you're satisfied to see me begging like a dog
I wasn't armoured, you were king, I gave my everything
Because sometimes you showed me just a hint of you and then
For just a moment I romanticised the notion
I can take away the torment, I can love you like they never did

You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?

You make me feel like my father never loved me
You make me feel like the act of love is empty
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?

You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)

♥ I'm in Y11 at school, and therefore in the middle of my GCSEs. I find school a complete pain, and struggle with work and things, but I do love French, English amd Chemistry. I would love to be a translator when I'm older, but I'm not sure if I'll ever get there.

♥ I have a few friends, and they are wonderful, but I prefer to stay in at the weekends and things. I'm getting a little better, but still don't enjoy other's company as much as my own. I don't have a boyfriend, haven't had one in almost a year now. I find relationships a distraction. My crushes always seem to be for guys I talk to over the internet (which just about proves how sad I am). I go for personality over looks every time. I'm bi-curious and like girlie parts as much as I do boys. =)

♥ When it comes to music, I rarely say no. My favourite bands range from Savage Garden to The Smiths, from Lostprophets to The Cure. My favourite singers are Morrissey and Darren Hayes, but I love Jessicka and Tairrie B's vocals as well. My favourite comedian is Peter Kay, the man is a genius! I love Phoenix Nights and his live shows (GARLIC BREAD?!). Film wise, I'll happily watch anything with Johnny Depp in it, or anything foreign.

♥ I've struggled with self injury for almost three years now. I heard about it from someone I knew, who constantly talked about how addicted she was, and one day I suddenly started. At the moment (9:13pm on the 28th January 2005) I have gone at least a month without cutting, but I can never say I've stopped completely. I'm hoping that one day, I'll no longer feel the need to cut, but until then it is an addiction and it is hard to stop.