MEMOIR of my gay poetry and life

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-05-09T23:36:00

2005-05-10T06:40:49Z

okay im a spoiled little fuck and i want to tell you what i want for the future

a girlfriend

an acoustic guitar

a distortion petal and waa waa petal for my bass

a stand up bass with electric plug-ins

a bigger amp

an ocarina (prefarably one of the remakes from zelda)

and a harp

my piano to be retuned

fix my banjo

oh and for my stupid room 2 be finished

then i will not want anything else

so besides that i am pretty good. life is actually rocking. i found out alot of shit today. about my family. my friends. my past. my life. and myself.

so this has been a good day

im gonna go hot box chocalate blanky peace

<3

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-05-08T12:12:00

2005-05-08T19:13:46Z

so i bought a flask

life is awsome

oh and i bought a mindless shirt

last night was sooo awsome

this whole weekend was

lol

jocking the bitches and slapping the hoes

tosh knows wat im talking bout

swish swashers

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-04-30T08:36:00

2005-04-30T15:36:26Z

fuck you

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-04-17T17:31:00

2005-04-18T00:37:16Z

So now she's gone and broke my heart, God damn her
Turns out she's been fucking his drum programmer
She likes his style, she likes his rock star glamour
Well she's an infant, he can damn-well have her.

everyone go download

seventeen years

by ratatat

MWAH JEEEEEEEENIEUS

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-04-12T23:07:00

2005-04-13T06:10:07Z

sHorTguY196: we should put tosh in the zoo
sHorTguY196: zoo attendeance would go up 40%
sHorTguY196: and he would love the animals
sHorTguY196: every1 would win

hair cut

sadie wont resize pics

everyone wins

death does us better

LOOKS LIKE RAIN

woah

2 the izzo

AND

i wore freddies shoe today

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-03-29T16:03:00

2005-03-30T00:14:16Z

And im
The fallen hero of the horde
And ive fought for my family
Even though I was aware
That I was wrong
Though I was not scared
Not a fear for the right

The mob
Fought faithfully beside me
They lived by my word
They marched through the valley
And over the mountains
Because it was said I new the way

That morning
Foggy and Tall cluttered trees
They came on for me
They killed my men the king and the queen
And then they took me to there quarters

And I thought I was the first creature on earth to become aware of pain
Tainted meals that they fed me
And scolding water they tossed at me
And jokes too demening for my armored body to deflect
Then I finally let go
I gave in even though
It would result in the hordes just death
And I failed the mob

And that’s how
I became the fallen hero of the horde
I fought for the unjust morales
And I failed my family

Mother I cant find the colors past the spectrum
Father ive lost all letters after Z
Brother why don’t you ever talk to me
Sister your to little to be helping me

I cant seem to understand
Who wrote this program
All the information
All the conglomeration
Its overwhelming quite so

I must accept that I wont be able to find them all
I must simplify my life and the path that I will choose
I think I have simply run out of time
Strait past the deadline

I dont think ill ever get over the fact that
Right now all I need to worry about is
If my shoelaces are tied tight enough
And my gloves are snug enough

When the time comes I will know
As of now I will say there is no use
To look for the colors past the spectrum
The letters after Z
My brother or sister wont ever help me

SEE IM A "LONER" SOO I DONT DO FUCING SHIT IN MY LIFE CEPT RIGHT MUSIC

THERFORE I HAVE DONE NOTHING SINCE THE LAST UPDATE

AND PROLLY WONT DO SHIT TILL THE NEXT

</bold> JK

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-02-28T22:38:00

2005-03-01T06:39:06Z

And I looked down at the box
And it said
caution
Warning
This relationship has been known to our great land
To cause harm or possible fatality

Maybe this is too dangerous she said
And I said no don’t worry babe just try it
She said no ive been through it before I don’t wanna fall in love
And I just said don’t worry baby I wont let you get hurt

But then we fell dangerously in love
And I said babe I love you
But then I went out of town
To visit my sick grandma

And I looked down at the box
And it said
caution
Warning
This relationship has been known to our great land
To cause harm or possible fatality

And I rethout it but I said no I couldn’t be true
So I pulled out another cigarette
Now I am back in town and it is like nothing ever happened
My grandma is better now
But she drifts from me more often

And then the new yeah came and she said
Lets just be friends
And I pretended it wasn’t coming
And she caught me when I was in love with her
And she wasn’t in love with me
And she was right
And the box was right
So I smoked another cigarette

And I looked down at the box
And it said
caution
Warning
This relationship has been known to our great land
To cause harm or possible fatality
So I took another cigarette
Cause you cant quit love

i thought it was time to write i new entry
but i dont like talking about life so i wrote another song/poem thing
i know it sucks dont read it

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-02-03T16:40:00

2005-02-04T00:49:49Z

And all the poets and all the writers they write all the words and all the metaphors for there hedonistic ways and for there glutonous evils. But why must we all use the metaphors… is it because we are scared. Don’t worry Oh please don’t be scarred. It didn’t work out in summer so we can try again in spring. Because we are like cornstalks that don’t get harvested. And now I am looking at old pictures thinking about the used me listening to my new music in my new little hut. I ignore my paramour because I am in love with my summer. But its fine we can try again in spring. Now all the poets and writers have gone since. Killed themselves or all of the above. And now I am looking back at myself as a washed up actor looks at his old films. The glory days are gone but its ok we can try again in spring. And why must we use metaphors for our hedonistic ways and our problems. Well us the writers do not…. It is you the client that is making up the metaphors. Us the salesmen just create the foundation for your mind to build from. Does it all make sense…….. no

Try to ask again in spring

again in spring

-spencer

meh i dont really like it but i dont care i will post it anyway

umm

life is fine i guess. besides the fact that my E button sux. well it is the freakiest show but w.e.

im actually really bored i wish i had a sexy hippy to chill with

well my leg broke its heart so i gotta go draw something for it

make me your pupet i am sucidal over u

mmypiasoy

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-23T12:35:00

2005-01-23T20:35:44Z

woah

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-23T12:29:00

2005-01-23T20:34:26Z

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-16T00:40:00

2005-01-16T08:53:05Z

haha

very good day

best in while

so yeah i got a haircut...........looks the same........talked to evvy on phone for alongas time. then i played video games. my dad was like clean up dog poo. i was like nah......................then gorman wasnt home. DUDE I MADE SPECIAL SPENCER PIZza. we got coffee bean. umm then savon. condom. hahha i was drinking a beer infront of my mom like she didnt care at alll. my parents fuking rule. cum

We were like aight that chick is gonna be at the galleria (rebecca). And she wasnt there. Sophie turned of her cell. I called lexi a whore. I have to chill with her sometime.

GALLLYYYYYY it was pimp i got a sid poster of him smoking a blunt and cutting himself or something in a hotel. I want a tongue piercing. I got hives and ben folds at tower. Then lily was like hey im crazy come over. So we came over. And it was gay...for shorty.........then gay for spencer. But sex was there (evvy). So i was like yo. And she was like yo. And i was like no. And she was like babies?

So then i was like lets leave please. And then i broke slut pant'ses bed. I lost her earing also. Then the fucking awsomo nicole was like hmmm lets go smoke hoocah cause im 18 BITCHES. SO we had a porno hookah me and shorty hooking up fest. IT was tight and i have pics of me and shorty hooking up for later. DUDE I MMM GAY

ahah everybody wants me. FUCK BITCHES AND HOES. AND SHORTY. umm.

now i smell like right balls and perfume a.k.a. strawberry hookah. FRENCH INHALE HOe

prince albert

tried to new things tonite

shorty is over now and he is dieying cause of his gf so i am like aight lets hook up. and he is like chill. so i gotta.............................cant talk hes soooooooooo hot

peace bitches im out

pics later

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-12T17:58:00

2005-01-13T04:02:40Z

dude i really wanna kill you

umm say shit to freak them out because they are your world

it doesnt mean anything his empty threats

shorty got an lj

sadie never calls back

brutal honesty 30% cotton

LDV NUCCA

umm yeah w.e about that

punk rock is gonna live another 50

life is seriously the fucking awsomest (sarcasm) or not
who knows

school sux

you suck p0ets ran out of water

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-05T20:02:00

2005-01-06T04:09:38Z

will you let me make you my bride just for tonite

my mom found the stuff on the door

she didnt believe i did it

she thought someone else did it cause i wrote handwriting neatly

i told her that someone was at my house last night late at night and thats why i didnt sleep

i finally told her the truth..........................................................................................................................................................................she praised me even tho i told her to ground me

i guess i need thearapy now

shorty came over we talked politics

life is shit for no apparent reason

ben broke my hart
so did everyone that ill let trample on my heart

sadie didnt call me

trent

2005-01-05T10:37:07Z

ok right now i just picked up my bass and i started to play otherside by red hot chilli peppers like w.e right and at the same time my computer was changing songs and then the computer started playing other side fuck omg weird i should get to sleep its really really late

there are about 8 people i have in my life that i can truly reali on
i can only think of 4 right now but that is ok

you might no who you are talking about but maybe not
i love you
thank you soo much for helping me when i need it i always can realy on you thank you thank you. you underestimate how important you are in my life. We have been through alot and i really really apreciate it because i no i can be a very hard person to be around/handle/ or anything sometimes but thank you for giving me the truth and thank you for caring. i cant figure out why

i will only name one of the 8 people and that is trent jameson (mountain hippy extrordinair)
trent you are my fucking homie man thanks alot for what you did that one night

this entry is dedicated to trent fool

thank you all others you no who you are

i believe i might have underappreciated you guys and life in general

haha i just noticed also that the actual best night i have ever had was the night i cried the most....................but after that it would be a tie beetween new years and the night before i left for camp then next uhh JacuZZiZiZi night
then that night i was really really mad and we walked to far
and then uhh spencer was his nameo u fucking asswhole

hahhaha irony

i honor you if you made it to the end of this entry

u better hit this shit u fucking hobo

2005-01-05T07:46:07Z

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite

2. Which is your favorite color out of red,
black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish. (A realistic one).

WHEN YOU'RE DONE, SCROLL DOWN
(DON'T
CHEAT)

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THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of
love.

Black - You are conservative and aggressive.

Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid
back.

Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses
and
affection from the ones you love.

Yellow- you are a very happy person and give
good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in
your life.

L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum
and your love life is
soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love
life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and
you will discover that you fall in love with
someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love
relationship that will not last long but the
memories will last forever.

July-Sep: You will have a great year and will
experience a major life changing experience for
the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great,
but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you chose...

Black: Your life will take on a different
direction, it will seem hard at the time but
will be the best thing for you, and you will
be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely
confides in you and would do anything for you,
but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in
your lifetime.

8. If you chose:
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.

9. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to your
love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please
people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-
POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour., and it will come
true before your next birthday

___smokepunch13 @ 2005-01-01T13:51:00

2005-01-01T21:56:37Z

dude ok so last night was for sho hardcore

me:dude crispix are so good
tosh: yeah there hardcore
guy: yeah only people that kill people eat crispx

so yeah we did some really cool shit on new years

we have some pacts for this year

i like shorties sisters
and jenna k is a hottttieieeieieie

i am the awsomest massage giver

dude i spelled my name in wipcream on shivan

then they were making out and i stole her bra and pants and shivans shirt

shorty: THERE IS A FUCING PUB IN MY SHOWER U ASSWHOLE

omg omg omg ogm ogmomgogmogmgomgogmgo wasted

me and tosh set shit on fire

hippie circle of me jenna k shibabbaddan and nicole teaching each other songs on guitar was hXc hippycore

i want u
and she fell asleep in my arms

time of sleep 5:33

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-28T21:24:00

2004-12-29T05:24:42Z

that didnt really work but i am too lazy to try again or to delete it

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-28T21:19:00

2004-12-29T05:23:57Z

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/bluenight_1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/DSC_1593.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/spencerANT_1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/DSC_1433.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/jcr.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/DSC_1832.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/f6ccbee3.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v600/srj1991/DSCN1926_edited_1.jpg

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-21T15:46:00

2004-12-21T23:58:33Z

so yeah
friday night
went to lilies
w.e
sadie like got kicked and we watched degrassi and shit
then i got kicked out so i went to the cobalt
shorty had like caterers on his front loan lone loun i dont no how to say it w.e
we say lao and look what i did
the lead singer talked to me inbeetween songs cause i had met him at a previous engagement
we missed emerson
and the exit signs

uhh we saw corrine my pscy teacher and we saw nikki and her people we saw sophie from camp i think marco from degrassi was there but im not sure and uhh oh yeah brandon lucks woah that was crazy

ummm the next day we didnt do much or maybe we did i just forget we saw garden state at my house i loved it i watched it twice and ummm we saw like 3 movies i forget

shorty went to fiji and i told him not to me and shibbidan we like in the parking lot at barnes and nobles and he got nutted when he tried to jump over me then i had a six foot tall sri lanken on my back for a while i broke his bumper and everyone was happy then i took a jacuzzi. oh yeah and me and tosh rode to fucking like gelsons and he was on my back of my bike and some guys playing football saw uss and i mean a midjet on the back or a transvestite looks pretty weird so they wistled at us then it was awkward and tosh walked back with me to johnny rockets

on monday i sat around it was gormans birthday so we went to an italian restauraunt his cousin is really cool srry witney i couldnt go with u guys

umm today i have been sitting around i think like best buy owes me 160 bucks or something like that so i went to best buy and i didnt get anything i dont no what to get someone help me with that please. my mom replaced the game my dad broke so no i was just playing that and i just learned how to play a death cab song on guitar cause i am really bored and i am about to go learn fucking take me out on bass then i am going on a walk with my mom or bike ride i dunno really.

lifes a boat
mines sunk

punk rock boners

2004-12-16T03:27:21Z

the infamouse words of shorty: wait so what would happen if you got a boner in those pants?

hahaha i dunno actually i would prolly die

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-13T22:00:00

2004-12-14T06:28:02Z

Xtremesurj: okay
Xtremesurj: imagine
Xtremesurj: 20 midgets
HOLD the PICKLE3: done
Xtremesurj: running full speed through the galleria
Xtremesurj: all at one time
HOLD the PICKLE3: OMFG.
Xtremesurj: hahhahahah
HOLD the PICKLE3: i knew you were smart. but i had no idea you were a genius
HOLD the PICKLE3: guess what my dinner is just guess
Xtremesurj: soup?
HOLD the PICKLE3: hell no, i threw that shit puddle away
HOLD the PICKLE3: apple sauce.

XpUNx UNitE 13: your my burger with everything on it
Xtremesurj: thanx
Xtremesurj: you my hot dog i like to suck on

i really love to update dont i

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-13T19:26:00

2004-12-14T03:30:13Z

i have changed babes
i have changed back
but now i am what i used to be
but now i have scars
i have been behind enemy lines
i will try to erase that memory
but the scars will never fade

it will never be faded so fuck u

life isnt bad
it could be better
but i guess i kinda give up on love
it will find me if it wants to eat again
so until then the world will starve
but i am used to the hunger
regurgitation
am i a defeatist?
prolly
but i am not dead so no
i guess i should be happy
im happy kinda
but only certain times
i am never as bad as before tho
hhahahah how come its always the kids like me who have this alter ego
and have to deal with all this shit
i cant say more ill sound conceeded

i told you guys i write this thing more for me than for anyone else

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-12T14:29:00

2004-12-12T22:29:56Z

do you like the changes i made on my lj

i took that picture in the backround from a plane flying back from lake tahoe

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-12T12:30:00

2004-12-12T20:42:37Z

ok

Friday
bowling party
ahhahahha we chilled with james
i look cool playing pool with his sisters
i am awsome at bowling
tosh is crazy cooky kinda guy
shorty is short
we saw The Exit Signs
i thought they were pretty good
they drowned out the signer pretty good
there presence was cool tho
yeah so then
PiNaS ColaTas
En Des Bot Sex
y de CHeEeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEeEeEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

we got cheese

emrsons drum solo was tight

saturday
loggie was weird
so i was like aight
fuck that
im gonna stay at home all day
and take pics and shit
and play bass
i love the way you smile
i got a von dutch shirt
most people think it was like 5 dollors
but actually it was 50 dont telll
its cool you can only read it in the mirror
so i went to like fucking the gallera
to see that thing
hahah i saw lily and haley and evvy by acident
saw some other people
jake was fucking pretty gone
so yeah then we chilled with rebbeca
and breanna
and gabby
they were cool
so ill write them a song later
then evvy was cool
so yeah
i talked to an anonouse person on the fone till very later last night
hahhhahahahahahahhahaahaaahahhahahahhhahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahaha
i love you to
my scene scenester

sunday
i woke up at 9 with an insannly bad bloody nose
feel bake asleep cause i didnt really care
now im updating not kiddin covered it blood

i woke up today covered in blood babe
i woke up today covered in blood shed today
the same blood that was pumping through my body
when i met you

thats ill ill think of for right now
come bake for more later

___smokepunch13 @ 2004-12-10T17:00:00

2004-12-11T01:02:33Z

It was almost summer when we sat on your roof.
We smoked ciggeretes and we stared at the moon.
I showed you stars that you never could see.
It shouldn't be that easy to forget about me.

srry becca had to steel it

everyonesaysdifferentthingstome

downsyndrome brittny dolls