| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2010|01:20 pm] |
life, has been so generous to me lately. Not only do I have six rolls of film from the last three days of non-stop amazing photo shoots with mika katee and emily.. but also, have two rolls of film coming back from portland developed and ready for me to view. First off, I met Mika ( http://jevousenprie.livejournal.com/ ) this week, and we've been hanging out everyday non-stop.
I think we're kind of inlove with each other...hehe. I dont know .. it's always been so difficult for me to find any girls that are like minded, and genuine... but this girl is amazing, and we can relate so well to each other.Shes such an amazing artist, model and creature.. i am just fascinated by her. Mika and I did three photoshoots this week, and two of them we collaborated with our friend Katee, who is this incredible and surreal clothing/costume designer. you gotta check out her work HERE.. it's amazing I have never worked with clothing of this quality, or brilliance, so it was a totally new experience .... I simply cannot wait to see how the photos came out.. it's something totally new to me so i feel like these photos are going to be like a new step into a sister dimension.
anyway, this morning mika and i went to an estate sale that was more like a gigantic vintage wearhouse of old costumes and oddities... things were kinda pricy since it was the first day (im going to go on saturday too cause i think they will lower all of the prices on the costumes and such) but i found some amazing treasures that i will have my whole life... including that mask in the first photo. It's hand made out of real owl feathers!!! I also got those pink feathers, that black velvet huge bowtie,
elf ears, a witch nose, a huge sparkly white wooden moon for photos, old clown face paint and glittery tights... i could have bought everything.. these are truly the only kinds of things i spend my money on.. they're just too unique and awesome to pass up.
I guess it's just been really great hanging out with like-minded ladies,
and creating with them.
i'm feeling happier and happier each day.
i love you all.
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| An Interview for a small magazine |
[Aug. 9th, 2010|10:29 pm] |
1. First of all, the most standard question in the book: How did you get into photography?
i guess it all started when i was a young girl .. completely obsessed with all details and textures... But It was only until i received my first 35mm camera when i was 15, that i found a way to capture the beauty i felt and saw around me. So i kind of became obsessed with photography -- it was an outlet... a way to describe the life i saw, and the never ending beauty nature can create. I started doing some experiments with photography in the darkroom ... it came to me really naturally..like, i never felt like i had to learn technical aspects of photography, or follow a rule book or anything like that. So i really started understanding the camera as more of a paintbrush, rather then a technical documentation tool. My camera has been my third hand since then.
2. Tell us a little about where you live.
Well... I live in a suburb.. it's pretty lame, but i've found some secret spots over the years that i crawl away into a lot.. and that makes things better. It's a place I call home, but not a place i will always call home. i live a lot through my dreams... much more then in my waking life. There - it usually has an incredibly dense, blue fog hovering at the stumps of tall redwood trees... where i'm digging through old attics, being chased by witches and hiding in hidden compartments... i like it better there.
3. Did you study, or are you studying, photography? If not, how did you learn?
I took a few classes in high school where i kind of just taught myself through trial and error over time. I have also taken a couple of classes in college, but thats always funny for me... cause the professors try and tell me how to do something and i just kind of laugh... not intentionally at them or anything.. it's just that, these professors always try and teach me photography like there is a right and wrong way of doing it... where i truly believe there is no "right" way of doing any kind of art. I usually laugh because although they are giving me advice, it will never change how i am doing things, or what i am photographing.. because it's just the way i do it.
4. What camera do you use primarily?
I was using a old dead stock russian lc-a for a while, but every-time i bought a new one, it would drop into the ocean, or disappear into the dirt.. so recently my friend lent me her camera.. it's some kind of minolta slr with a macro lens on it. I tend to use any camera thats available at the time.
5. If you could go anywhere in the world to take photographs, where would you go?
Iceland and Himalayas.... but, anywhere will really do.
6. Do you always have preconceived concepts of what you want to shoot?
I usually just have a setting in mind, but hardly ever have a dead set concept on what i'm going to shoot. Mostly all of my photos are my best friend and I exploring with a bag of costumes on our backs and a camera around my neck. Really, all I'm ever trying to do in a photograph is to capture that ultimate, ebbing beauty nature holds... I just wait for the right moment when you can see it glow, and take the photo.
7. If you could be anyone for a day, who would you be?
My cat raja ... it always seems so lovely napping all day in the sun.
9. Describe your average day.
I wake up during a time when the sun is already golden before sunset ... go into my garden, collect cherry tomatoes and pop em' into my mouth even before they leave the vine, wait for twilight hour, take a walk and collect natural specimens, work on my etsy shop a little bit, read, drink some tea, look through old family photos, ignore modern civilization as they watch their late night televisions and watch my dark night sky on the grass in my backyard... and then, after that.. it's fare game.. but i usually make it to sleep around 4 or 5am, and start over.
10. What is your favorite book and why?
I really enjoy old fables and folklore. My favorites include Aesops fables and a book called "The Heart of The Ancient Wood" .. I enjoy them most because they are life lessons, wonder and old-wordly tales all in one... they remind me of bed time stories that make you dream of big castles and long golden hair. But i think also, i enjoy them mostly because these tales are a lost piece of our past, that has seemed to have stopped being recycled to our children of modern times.. and are no longer being created by great wise thinkers.. but only being read by the ones who love the past just as much as i do.
11. What would you say is the most important quality in an artist?
Being 100% genuine to oneself. Only creating because you need to create, not because you want to be an artist.
12. What do you do when you have a creative block?
I mostly wait until i feel something again.. But rarely create, or try and induce creating if not inspired.
13. Describe your most vivid dream.
The last dream that really sticks out in my mind was one i had a couple of months ago. I only remember one very strong visual... walking in deep forest, coming across a group of nude humans circling a hole in the ground... going up to the hole and seeing it slowly draining a murky muddy water.. and as the water drains i see bits of hands, arms and fingertips that are pushed into the inside of this hole... as the water drains more, it becomes apparent that these limbs are attached to many bodies .. they are living but slightly disformed. I hear squealing and see everything wiggling.. and they start freeing themselves from this mud. I turned to grab my camera in my bag and when i looked back up the hole was completely drained, with only long golden vines hanging from the sides now. The people surrounding the hole were gone and only a single fingernail was still attached to a piece of the hole wall..
That was a good one.
14. What is your most treasured possession?
i have a package of my most beloved original photo prints that stays by my door at all times incase of a disaster .. so i can grab it and save it from the flames before it is destroyed.. this is my only true possession..
15. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you while taking photos?
While shooting photos for the musician TwinSisterMoon I was mistaken as an actual ghost in a psych-ward by three young boys. It was actually quite refreshing to be thought as a spirit rather then a human for a few moments...
16. What are your future professional plans? Do you plan to pursue photography?
My goal is to move out to the pacific north west, buy a small home in the woods, and start a large garden.. I don't have much profesional plans, as i can never see myself as a professional. But, photography will always be my main passion, and will be consistently worked on.
17. What advice do you have for your fellow up-and-coming photographers?
Be true to yourself. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you need to know the rules before you take a photo.
18. Any last words?
thank you. |
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| 4.14 am |
[Aug. 1st, 2010|04:13 am] |
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continuously restless. |
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| mozart's requiem will play on tiny spearkers made of clay. |
[Jul. 18th, 2010|08:00 pm] |
Today has been another day of total relaxation. Nothing is better then filling those hot summer days with lounging in your backyard, tending to the garden and eating really sweet and delicious peaches. Heres just a few shots of myself wearing a dress I recently got from CleverNettle (my friend and awesome etsyier anja ), that I absolutely love and cannot take off. For me, getting dressed in the morning isn't something that I like to spend a lot of time on. In the summer especially, I try to keep my wardrobe very simple... only a few different pieces that are light, comfortable, practical and unique. I don't shop for clothes often ( and when i do, it is always always thriftstores ) but i when i saw this dress i knew it would be a lifer.
I'm going camping next weekend for my birthday (i will be alive for two decades now, and must spend the summoning of my entering into 20 in the deep woods). And I couldn't be more excited or anxious for anything! I also have a bunch of photo shoots planned.. and a box of film on it's way to my home. Life is good. When you make it good.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2010|01:15 pm] |
I've been working on my room for a few weeks now, since i've moved back home. I will be posting a more detailed version of this sometime soon, but for now, i wanted to share my favorite little parts that i am so happy to wake up to everyday (aka my plants) hehehe. Although this post is basically the same photo over and over .. and non of you will most likely even pay attention to it.. thats okay, cause i want to catalog it for myself, to remember. enjoy!
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2010|03:21 am] |
I feel really dismal lately. I thought moving back home that id be much more productive, and level headed .. but even though i have have the room of the dreams, and windows (i dont know if i mentioned it, but the room i was living in for 9 months had no windows, and no bed) i feel weird and anxious and dull. Being able to see trees, and hear birds and smell actual air feels healthy, but in a way... not enough. I really want to get away from all of these slowly rotting, oblivious long island folk as soon as i can... they really kill all of my inspiration and vibes. And, i told myself that i wouldn't let these people get to me, since the whole reason i am moving back is to be able to saturate myself in green, luscious nature. But the worst part, is that i crave real, aged, wise, deep, foggy, green, muddy woods. I just cant find that here... and the places i've always gone to, to shoot photos, or just to be, are so worn out.. and i guess i just cant get away from people.. i guess thats just what this is all about. I dont get it .. i'd say 98% of the world enjoys friends, communicating, and debating.. but i could really just do without it all (and all of my anxiety comes from people) I just cannot relate to a soul other then stephane.. it's sad.. it really is. its just that i dont want to do the random small talk bullshit, keeping people up on my life.. talking about meaning less things .. ( if i had it my way, the ultimate best friend would hardly ever talk, and we would just sit and enjoy whatever we were doing, without having to speak about it ) it's all just so mundane to me. i just dont understand why people cant be okay with "hanging out" with me only every once in a while, because thats all i really want .... i just want them to leave me alone and understand where i am coming from.
also.. flickr.. photography.. "fans" .. it really wears me the fuck out. I am sick of the internet, artistic generation bullshit. I don't want to be apart of anyones competitive ladder. I dont care about publicity, i dont want to be interviewed, and i absolutely do not care about money or fame in any way shape or form. Humans minds are so diluted with pure trash ( aka: media, what they are feeding your brain on the television screen, what your parents are telling you is right, what the back of your cereal box is telling you, all those brainless, skinny girls with pretty dresses and totallywowawesome blogs that every girl is disgustingly obsessed with, all those pop star that are trying to brain wash you, this whole urban outfitters, " i am totally sexier with this diana camera around my neck taking super awesome blurry photos" generation ) that it seems they are really believing that being young, sexy and hip, with the most wit and networking skills.. makes you an artist. This stuff just blows my top. I just want everyone to know, that i dont give a fuck if anyone comments on my photos, and i dont care if a single soul likes them. It's something thats nice to have, but it doesnt change who i am, or what i am doing. I take photos because i picked up a camera when i was 15 and it felt really really good when i pressed the shutter. I am not part of this flickr, MaGicCCc trend... i am not trying to get into a private artschool, i dont want to be in nylon mag, i dont want to be paid to commission your ideas, and i will not ever change who i am or what feels right to me. In my ideal world, people would just be themselves... no make up, no persona, no ego, just who they really are, i want people to allow themselves to allow their soul to shine as bright as they can make it.. We all follow so many retarded rules because there is stigmas attached to the breaking of them, and everyones afraid they're gunna get made fun of. arg. stupid.
i'm really trying to be as true to myself, and to nature as i can be. i think i have been failing a bit lately, and purposely trying to distract myself from my imagination. i really need a retreat somewhere, with nothing to connect me to the outside world, or distract me from my thoughts. I want to work on land, cultivate vegetables and nurture animals. I want a simple life, far from anything that is happening in the mainstream world. I want to wake up and water my plants, drink tea and write by the water .. create sets in nature and spend months on a single photoshoot.. have my own darkroom and print everything myself. I want a life that many people think is extinct in modern day. But i know i can make it real. |
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