___sasuka

Due to some tragic organic delays, internet will not be forthcoming 'till next week. I am, you may assume correctly, at the Hastings Library branch again, wasting time before work.

Despite my first paycheck (hurrah, independence!) granting me some $417, I, uh, actually cannot access any of the monies. I know who is responsible, and he better goddamn fix it before Harry Potter comes out tomorrow, gorrammit! This also means I cannot buy something delicious from Subway for lunch. What, am I to eat something cheap and tawdry from Burger King again? Aaargh.

I have read some very excellent books during my netless days, such as Lamb and The Blade Itself. 

So we, uh, moved into a new house. In Richmond, BC. Did you know it takes two hours for me to get from my workplace (Playland) -> my house? Incredible. I had to take three buses, and missed my last, wasting $11 on a taxi. Argh.

I do not have internet until July 12; I am presently at a library computer station, somewhat close to losing my mind.

My job is that I am a sweeper; it is easy work, but solitary. People litter far less than I assumed they would, so 60% of my time is spent walking around aimlessly picking up leaves because I am so ridiculously bored. I work 5-6 hour days, which might seem fairly relaxing - if you don't account the four hours spent on transit getting to-and-from work. I did an 8.5 hours shift once, and uh, nearly went insane. Then again, this is my first job.

I am reading the first of the Aubrey-Maturin books, Master & Commander. It is just as delightfully homoerotic as I expected, but oh my word, the ship lingo is driving me to utter boredom. I have never been one for the technicality of details, although I appreciate the fact that Mr. O'Brian has most definitely shown his work. I expect that I will be reading the next ... 19 + The Last Voyage Of Jack Aubrey or so books, because I am a sentimental sucker for historical novels, and also I have not yet found Hornblower anywhere and I don't think there is enough unintentionally hilarious subtext in Sharpe to make it worth it (I kid, I kid). Jack and Stephen are hopelessly adorable, aw. They make me think of Laurence and Temeraire, although it is probably because they are the only other male duo I know who use "my dear" so liberally in reference to each other - well, Laurence does, anyway.

I also read Neverwhere. It was wonderful. Will anyone rec me some Richard/Marquis de Carabas slash? No? Damn.

AND now I am off for work. See ya kids some time in the indeterminate future!

Well no. This post is about the opposite of that. It is also a ridiculously long post, and LJ-cut does not work for me at the best of times. Scroll if you are not interested in pedantic thoughts and self-doubt.

Lately I've been thinking about death a lot. I don't know what brought it on - perhaps it's my reborn fear of all things that do not exist in the dark, perhaps it's a thread on ontd_political  about dying young, perhaps it's my realisation that I want to do everything amazing in the world and yet I lack motivation, and I fear death.

Fear is the mind-killer, Paul of Arrakis might say. Well, probably. I fear dying. I am atheist - hold your thoughts for a minute. It is my belief that once we die - that's it. Nothing. Permanent loss of consciousness. Pushing daisies and all that. No reincarnation, no afterlife, nothing. So, for me, death is the end-all to be-all. I am quietly terrified of it.

Death is another adventure, said Dumbledore - or was it Nicholas Flamel? Well, both lived hundreds of years. They've had time to salt their wisdom. I've only been on this earth for sixteen, seventeen years. There is something stinkingly arrogant about me declaring how I never want to die, I'm sure. I don't really care - I don't want to die.

There is no incarnate of the Endless to bet me to live forever. I'd like that. I'd take the bet, because humanity is fascinating and amazing. My god, what will we create in a hundred years? I don't doubt space colonisation isn't out of our reach at all - by the time the Milky Way and Andromedra finally crash into each other humanity will have spread itself across the universe like a wonderfully stubborn parasite. I am sure we will fuck up in some splendidly epic way or another; we will take the roles of god, and there will be those who rebel against man playing god. Lovely. That is our nature - to want to control the uncontrollable. Predict the unpredictable. Take ahold of the reins of the universe and call out smartly, "Heel."

Lovecraft said the universe abided by laws humanity could never conceivably imagine of, lest we go mad - that there existed things in the depths and darkness that would not be moved to feel anything if it wiped us out in a single breath. So what. We have eons to discover the laws of the universe. So there are eldritch abominations - our first instinct will be to chuck an atomic bomb at it. Humanity is deliriously savage and primal, once you get down to it. Violence. Survival of the fittest. Ever since we have gotten comfortable, that last one has been a lie. I don't mean to say we should go back to Sparta and abandon weak infants to the cliffs; we have grown a little more civilised than that. But perhaps we are becoming an evolutionary dead end, or evolving in ways that seem bizarre and useless. Technology has cushioned our fall, medicine has brought us to rise from our crippled knees. Society is very comfortable, in a way that living in a hunter-gatherer land could never be.

The main character of Ringworld is two hundred years old at the beginning of the novel, and he is ready to die. I am not. I am sixteen, so I am a child when I say this, but I want to live forever. I want to live in a time where my views - my views - are considered old-fashioned and hopelessly conservative. I want to live when people speak openly of space exploration and the discovery of planets in the life zone like it's no big deal - like hey, that super-Earth can support life, let's send a probe over. I want some gloriously idyllic world that will never exist, but unlike real conservatives, I look toward the future, not the past. So there's that.

The Culture contacts humanity in 2200. That's not soon enough for me. Let them come now, let them inject me full of absurd drugs so I can prolong my life and live five hundred years - more, even if they'll discourage me. Let me live in a post-scarcity society so I can do to my heart's content - learning to play music, writing, drawing professionally, acting, directing, producing, planning. Let me have a drone-friend of my own; let me pour my heart out to a Mind who has heard it all before. Let me ask the Bora Horza Gorbachul how it got its name, and let me say I'm sorry.

The meek shall inherit the earth. Well, I'm not meek. I'm loud and chattery and frequently rude; I'm sarcastic and angry and I get worked-up when I should be laughing; I back down when I should be standing up, I flake when I should be solid. Too easily I let the status quo flow over me, even when I despise it. I fear commitment - I fear the concept of marriage, of divorce, of children. I don't want to have kids, I'm too selfish for that. I would become my parents, and I am not exactly thrilled about my parents. I don't want my daughter yelling at me to keep my nose out of her fucking business and leave her alone! I am too oversensitive for that.

I want to be the most interesting woman in the world. The minute I read about something I want to do it - if there is injustice in the system, I want to be the one who has paved the way for glory and freedom and equality; I want to be the Trope Maker, the Ur-Example. I want to be the best of the best of the best; I want to please 99% of the world and wow the remaining 1%. I want every work to be my magnum opus. I want to be known for quality sans pareil, to have shown my work truly and brilliantly. I'm sure everyone wants the same.

But oh god, people die everyday. I used to joke, very briefly when I was younger, that I would live fast and die young. I can't even smile at that anymore. Maybe I'm losing my humour, but it seems such an awful thing to joke about. People die from the common flu. People die from fluke one-in-a-billion chances. People die from being struck by lightning, from being shivved at the corner grocery store. They die because someone was drunk and decided to drive home; they die because someone wanted to teach people a lesson; they die because people are sick.

I won't hide away in my house because people die. No, you know how I am. I am endlessly paranoid of things that don't exist - I fear things in the dark, and I fear things in the light. I believe in ghosts, and yet I pray to the end of my wits that I never confirm it myself. I hope that ghosts do not exist - they terrify me as many things can; I hope that if they exist, that science will have figured them out fully, the way science fully cannot. I fear the creeping corners of my mind that doubts and fears and lingers at every horrid potential; I of course fear the killer that hides in the house with me.

I want to live to the year 2100. I cannot live forever, the way I believe Felix Trevalyon lives forever. By then I will be a tiny old crone, with rheumy eyes and papery skin and a dying sense of hearing and perhaps no immediate family; I wish we humans were more youthful during our lives. I do not want to spend the last fifty years of my life old.

My God, you know, someday my parents will die, and I'm not sure how I will take it. My feelings for them are complicated, but they are my parents, and if I am not instinctively loving to them, by God I have known nothing else. For better or for worse, I am instrinsically tied to them.

I want my brother to marry someday and have children; I want to be their favourite - perhaps only - aunt. I am too young to condemn myself to a life of loneliness, but at present I am such a needlessly convoluted character that I cannot imagine anyone willingly attempting to spend a few years, never mind the rest of their life with me. I do not mind what sex they are: man, woman. I figured I was bisexual a while ago - even if it never solidifies into anything meaningful with a woman, I don't deny that I become hopelessly infatuated with beautiful girls, perhaps the way men do. Who knows. All I hope is that they do not want children that much, or if they do, they are willing to consider adopting. Perhaps my mind will change someday.

I want - I want - I want a lot of things. Well, who doesn't. I'm not sure my sense of soft despair at the world has eased any. There is so much to worry about nowadays. Politics. Iran. America. The world. So many issues. I want desperately to be educated, to know - but there are so many great issues that do not capture my attention at all. It feels so cheap and wrong to pretend to care when I do not. I have always believed in being my brother's keeper, to care about the world that exists outside mine, but at times it seems a detriment to my own life, to worry so heavily about things that do not matter to me, and ignore things that do.

I'm glad I wrote this post. It has no particular meaning, but at least I can watch Stephen Colbert now. Tomorrow I am moving to Richmond. We'll see how it goes.

Saw the trailer for The Last Airbender.

It does not look entirely bad, though I am still hugely aggravated about the whole actors kerfuffle like you cannot believe. I am actually Asian and went to see Gran Torino 99% because it had Asian actors in it, so this whole "Caucasian or other ethnicities" was a big giant fuck you. And I am probably being very whiny, but the little Asiatic music at the end of the trailer is just a HURR DURR.

Also they should have had goddamn Katara voice the trailer, not that typically gravelly white man's voice. Aaargh.

Sorry to have vanished for like three months, non-existent f-list! I've actually still been around, roaming on the ASOIAF forums andontd_political and the site which cannot be named.

What's been going on in my life lately? I applied to the YMCA Summer Work Exchange Program to Quebec and did not get in. Yuck. I covered both bases and applied for Playland, and I've finally gotten a job! Yes, I'm very excited :) I'm also moving to Richmond, BC - which is, I know, crazy deathtrap waiting to happen, but I am only staying there for a year then jumping headfast into a dormitory at UBC because I love the sound of FREEDOM and the annual depletion of $5000 from my bank account that I don't have. Well. Hurrah and all that.

My god! I wonder if anyone reads this journal (assume, of course, that people read this journal...) for my personal life. I like to talk so much about my delusions of literary merit and other life-goals that I neglect to mention that scary terrifying thing called Real Life (you have to sign up for it, it's a little complicated...). My life is fairly boring, you know - school's over, I have a few exams to half-heartedly study for, then work work work! and maybe some more arrogant presumptions of actually getting anything written down during the summer.

Also my latest USB drive has failed me yet again, and really, I'm starting to be glad that I keep most of my story-info in my head. I am going to have to invest in a very good paper notebook and/or super-secret f-locked entries on LJ to be able to actually back anything up. Or a laptop with a genuine hard drive and also does not run Vista. (Maybe I will even continue writing my fanfics in the Pit of Voles. Peut-etre.)

Right now I am organising my tags to make them less cluttered and hoo boy, that includes me occasionally reading my older posts. Needless to say I am not all that proud of myself, but I suppose that is what character development is all about - looking back at yourself and asking, hey self, what the fuck were you smoking?

Nothing, I say. And that's the depressing part.

UNIVERSE you cannot tell me no one has ever thought of John Keats/Death slash before.

Come on, I am doing homework for Ode To A Nightingale and I desperately need some to alleviate Keats' very pretty but Jesus Christ what the hell did I just read stanzas.

NO I will not read James Joyce's letters to his wife again they are weird.

The continuity.

For instance, possibly my favourite example at the moment - watching the cartoon about the Empress Elisabeth of Austria as a child (which I suspect was about as historical as a cartoon about a pretty pretty princess would be... besides, in the cartoon she was blonde D:), reading her version of my much-adored not-a-guilty-pleasure-because-I'm-not-embarrassed-about-reading Royal Diaries (about princesses' fictionalised diaries <3) and lamenting briefly about her unhappy marriage before going back to read about her glorious trosseau - then, YEARS AND YEARS LATER, in my Social Studies class, role-playing for World War I as Franz Joseph I, Emperor of Austria-Hungary, and while reading his wiki, realising -

Oh my God I'm role-playing Sisi's husband!

That is sexy continuity, right there, that fiction has a very hard time matching.

I am so intolerably fucking furious right now. I don't even care about Jean and whatever the hell she's doing to Parliament. There is no way STEPHEN FUCKING HARPER can say shit like - "You have to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are eitherrecent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from Eastern Canada; people who live in ghettos and are not integrated into Western Canadian society."

Or: "In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."

Or "For taxpayers, however, it’s a rip-off. And it has nothing to do with gender. Both men and women taxpayers will pay additional money to both men and women in the civil service. That’s why the federal government should scrap its ridiculous pay equity law."

- and not get an immediate punt in the face.

THIS IS OUR FUCKING PRIME MINISTER HOW THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN SO IGNORANT OF THIS SHIT.

PS DO YOU THINK CALLING THE NDP SOCIALISTS IS GOING TO WORK YOU ARE FUCKING NOT JOHN MCCAIN

Quote source.

I have a peculiar and yet oddly delighted feeling that the next three weeks are going to be the most important I've had in like, ever. Wed-nes-day of this week alone would probably make someone cry (French presentation, Physics test, Socials Studies assignment due, Reach For The Top game after-school and a play for Theatre Crit in the evening). I am so gloriously happy that for once, I feel as though my life is busy and somewhat meaningful (apart from my writing fantasies and pseudo-philosophical thoughts, of course).

Also I am going to the Vancouver Youth Politik Conference at the Plaza 500 Hotel on Nov. 28-29, and on the latter date I have to make a dentist appointment on 2:45PM near the Hastings Branch Library, and I get off at 2! It is going to be insanely tight.

Plus I am still looking for a job!

Be still, beating heart! And now -- math homework!

My American bros and bras of legal age, go and vote NOW and TODAY!

/is watching Indecision '08 omg who else is...

DAMMIT PEOPLE.

Onrack/Trull Sengar (my One True Pairing), Rhulad/Udinaas (my Everyone Needs A Psycho pairing), Toc the Younger/Tool (my asdf jkl; SO FUCKING CUTE pairing), Shadowthrone/Cotillion (my Old Married Couple!), Kellanved/Dancer/Dassem (OT3), Cowl/Dancer (mad rival hatesex), K'azz D'Avore/Kellanved (madder rival hatesex), Mappo/Icarium (ICARIUM TOTALLY SAID HE'D DIG MAPPO IF HE WAS A CHICK! IT'S IN THE BOOKS!), Karsa/Torvald Nom (straight man-comic!), the Errant/EVERYONE (no comment necessary!), Anomander Rake/Caladan Brood (BFF pairing!), Kalam/Quick Ben (BFFer pairing!), Dujek/Whiskeyjack (BFF... FFFer), Laseen/Tavore (wahoo Empress/Adjunct!), Cotillion/Kalam (hilarious banter pairing!), Quick Ben/Tayschrenn (colleagues, amirite/), Caladan Brood/Kallor (dominance fights!), Corabb/Leoman (HERO WORSHIP AHHH CAN IT GET ANY CUTER), Tehol/Bugg (YES IT CAN), Hull Beddict/Binadas Sengar (BLOOD BROTHERS!!!), Apsalar/PEOPLE WHO DON'T NAME THEMSELVES "CUTTER" (HOW ABOUT TAVORE AMIRITE), Tayschrenn/Dancer (He called him "Tay"!!!!), uh... Telorast/Curdle (lol dragons!), Quick Ben/Shadowthorne ("Delat!"), FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KRUPPE/CALADAN BROOD (HATESEX TO THE EPIC EXTREME)!

Okay, maybe on the other hand that's a good thing...

Monday morning I made pancakes, which were lovely and golden-brown and delicious, and some yummy, if the teensiest bit over-sweet homemade blueberry sauce.

It tasted awesome. I was so proud of myself, it felt like passing a rite of initiation! Now, I thought, I can make breakfast food. I can conquer the world.

Wahoo! Also I am sure the leftover blueberry sauce will be just awesome as a bagel/toast spread.

Slowly but surely I am becoming a foodie. First it was my rather intense obsession with making cupcakes from scratch, then it was my newfound ability to make PANCAKES!!! without burning the pan or my dignity (more than once, anyway!), soon I will have my own dinky show on Food Network and make delicious food that none of y'all can eat!

I have already been orgasming on TDK on Westeros.org, but I forget that not all of my peeps go both ways! So here is my not-quite-a-review!

FUCK YEAH I AM SEEING THE DARK KNIGHT TOMORROW

FOR FREE !!!

Sadly I am spoiled, BUT I am the type of person who is not really ruined by that sort of thing as I uh generally tend to forget and/or I simply do not let it bother me.

Also, because I have been hyping myself up on the trailer for the past two days, I have to add the obligatory slash fangirl comment: why is Harvey asking Alfred about psychotic ex-boyfriends? Because if he's asking about Rachel's past liasons, Alfred seems like a weird guy to go to. But if it's... well, Bruce...

EEE SCREW THE SLASH I AM SEEING THE DARK KNIGHT !!!

Man, wouldn't Oberyn Martell/Lyn Corbray be really fucking hot?

Brought to you by: I didn't even have to gayify them! That means it MUST be canon!

Or at least, slightly less silly than my Shadowthrone/Cotillion/Kalam niggins...

My Kingston USB disk -- my six hundred megabytes of data on the thing -- is basically fucked.

And by fucked, I mean in four pieces. Which means basically, that all my stuff is nada.

Everything.

To tell the truth I should probably be a bit more pissed off than I am now. Not only was my elaborate collection of pictures on that thing, so was all my writing work.

All on a neat little green motherboard, and like to stay that way unless someone custom-makes another USB disk _with_ that particular thing.

Which is okay, because most of my "work" was nothing but empty folders and boring profiles. But there were some real little scraps of writing there. I had 1/2 of that stuff burned to a CD before I got my disk, but apart from Numirae it is just nothing but empty folders.

Argh. The only thing I'm really ticked about losing is a 3000-word slash piece in which my id comes out in a really fucking creepy way.

... ... ... okay, the warranty won't probably get me a new disk based on the fact that I kind of took the thing apart myself, but it had already screwed itself before-hand, the disk just completely failing to register on the computer despite being fucking plugged in. The unfortunate thing is that it had done that shit before, and I told myself I should have backed my shit up, but argh!

I had a dream about a cheetah named Whiskeyjack who was trying to kill me and alternately frightened me with bits of pseudo-philosophy. This dream also involved egg wraps, so I don't know, but I guess I've been on a Malaz high too long when the Bridgeburners are trying to kill me in my goddamn sleep.

Okay kids, remember how I was complaining that I was the only one who saw stars when it came to Kellanved/Dancer?

Clearly I am not the only one, not with genius comments like:

Well I guess this answers who is really the Queen of High House Shadow.

and:

"Spoiler" warning for GotM

<story mode>
A dark night in the Shadowkeep, after far too much wine...

Cot: ... Yesch, I agree, we schould try schomething new.
ST: How 'bout possession?
Cot: ... might be fun... *almost unconscious*
ST: We do like this... I'll flip this coin, the one who loses possesses a cute girl.
Cot: Schure.
*ST flips coin*
ST: Oh, you lose, what a pity!
Cot: Lord's pusch, you *always* win these toshesh! *falls asleep*

** Possession scene from GotM **

** Fun in the Shadowkeep **

</story mode>

Explains why Cot was so hesitant about the possession too .

So what the Seer is actually protecting Apsalars mind from isn't the killing and torturing of a bunch of people, but the makin' of sweet luv with ST.

*Far too tired, and should probably not make this post*

and my personal favourite:

Personally, I don't think gay male characters are strong enough for a spot in an Erikson novel...Lesbian, sure...unless the Malazan stories change direction start discussing fashion sense and interior decorating ideas..."Dancer daintily approached and said in a soft lisp, "My, what a lovely dress Apsalar....and those pumps are to die for!"

All four Twilight books are in the top ten for Amazon's book bestsellers.

All four Twilight books.

ALL FOUR!

BRISINGR IS NUMBER SIXTEEN!

AND WE ALL KNOW AMAZON RANKINGS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS, RIGHT?!

More or less I'm weighing whether I ought to buy the Malaz novellas or Night of Knives and Return of the Crimson Guard. Hmmm. I am just... not that into Malaz, reading mostly because I feel I ought to and so I can squee over Apt and Panek (yeah, I know) and catch glimpses of Cotillion (God damn you Steven Erikson, what a crappy name) and so it can inspire me.. uh, further on the super-duper epic fuckfest that is House of Assassins/Mother Wind/Children of the Revolution (I am still trying so very hard to find a name for the thing).

Whatever. Kellanved is still doing Dancer. And that's all that matters.

My dilemma with reading a series like the Malazan Book of the Fallen is that I can't go on a forum and say "DUDE, Kellanved is TOTALLY doing Dancer!" and not have people look at me as if I've grown a second head.

Life is so unfair. There is always a dearth of immature fangirl slashers in books I actually read and vaguely think I enjoy.

Curses!

I can no longer take characters who cut seriously. Well - not like I ever did, but now that stuff actually has me turning away in embarrassed amusement before I continue reading.

Enrico Fermi.... shot neutrons at uranium atoms?

That is literally the most badass thing I've heard in a long long time. I love science.

But I hate science tests and I wish my stomach wasn't trying to eat itself in fear.

OH WOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED --

Firstly, the art for Uni is kind of off. Secondly, young!Byakuran is adorable, and so is his non-lethal hair. Although I thought Byakuran was more savvy than to use Mukuro's good old persuasion tactic. Actually the whole flashback has kind of been a punch in the gut, albeit of mostly awesome and DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

Saving nature, through science!

This kid gets A+++ ;) Check this out.

The first 10 people to respond to this journal can request a doodle or ficlet from me. But the catch is that if you request a ficlet from me, you have to post this in your journal and do the meme too.

Come on kids. Dooooooooooo it.

I HAVE A NEW SCANNER/PRINTER/COPIER/FAX MACHINE AND ALSO MY ICON IS INSANELY CUTE.

Let us celebrate with some glimpses of my  scanned ... artwork of yore. Again, my art is pretty derivative of animanga, but a lot of stuff is nowadays, and I have the excuse that I was drawing like this since I was nine (seriously).



My scanner is super-rezy, so while I got very good quality stuff overall, the images are ridiculously huge - 22.9 mbs each! Luckily Picasa and Photobucket were on my side.

Warning, the pictures are still pretty big.

Dear Creepy 21-Year-Old Black Dude,

                   I'm sorry to say I wasn't at all flattered by the fact that you tried to pick me up, and was even vaguely disturbed. I'm glad you confirmed that I pass for 21, which confirms my theory that I can probably go into a bar unattended. Nonetheless, I have no idea why you thought I was a suitable candidate for carnal relations, or whatever the hell old people do. I am dangerously underage, and also am not in the stage of my teenagehood where I've blossomed into a wild flower. I still have fracking acne and my expression was definitely not of the inviting kind. I am glad that you took the hint and shot off like a dog when I said, "Pretty young", but next time you should probably check to see that if the girl you're trying to pick up is wearing a pink-and-brown backpack, a monotone expression, and a bagful of manga, she's probably not your type, especially if her enthusiasm to your mad skeelz is as lively as a drowned rat.

       Sincerely,
                            Jailbait. 

Today I bought a green skirt
It was full and flowing and swayed in the wind
I bought it for $46.75 and that was a real swallow
Considering everything else in the store was under $20

The green skirt was a great buy
As my rare purchases usually are
I put it on, first in the store and then at home
And could not describe which time I was happier

I wore that green skirt for a hundred and one days
Matched it with jeans and frilly shirts and my favourite faux-leather belt
Wore it out to rags until my family was too embarrassed to let me out
And when that green skirt died I swore I’d never buy one in its likeness again

That green skirt made me so happy
And honestly I don’t know why
But lately I’ve been moved by easy emotion
And the feeling of knowing how the wind whistles by.

Civil War in thirty seconds.

Guaranteed giggles!

No school. However, I'm attending a conference on safety during overnight trips at the Vancouver School Board HQ that's going to take 3ish hours. Free lunch :)

After that, if luck is a lady, I'm going to Epic Expo, a place of... I assume epicness, but a lack of exposition because that shit makes me fall asleep.

See ya kids.

a. Post a list of 10 fandoms.
b. Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each one.
c. When guessed, bold the line, include the character name, and write a sentence about why you like that character.


and from the Meejit:

1. Put your media player of choice on shuffle.
2. List the first fifteen songs that come up (skipping titles like "Fugue in D Minor") and add "in my pants" to the end.
3. Bold the ones that actually made you LOL.


So much in my pants AND I ONLY HAVE SO MANY POCKETS YOU KNOW

Heyyyy, what do you know -- two spoonfuls of honey + squirtful of lemon juice + hot water = ACTUALLY WORKS! Plus it actually tastes quite pleasant.


And randomly, I love the History Channel's Rome commercials. They are so hilariously epic.

(red drapery falls intensely)
Narrator: He was... the original godfather.
(dramatic music plays... intensely while Caesar chills on his throne... intensely)
(writing on screen: ROME in red letters... intensely)

Speaking of godfathers, I saw the fabled movie yesterday. Pretty cool, although it was a bit too long. I feel as if I've sinned for saying that. Anyway, the film's events kind of reminded me of The Poetry of Flowers -- plot is kind of rather similar once you strip away the details. I wonder.

FUCK I AM A DUMMY

I MISSED ROME AUGH

PRETTY SURE THIS WAS THE IDES OF MARCH AND WAUGH THE FINALE OF SEASON ONE

DUMMY AM I



(Plus I also have an assignment due on WAUGH FREE TIBET and stupid Science test WHICH NOBODY IN THE CLASS KNEW ABOUT UNTIL YESTERDAY AND I THINK WE HAVE TO MEMORISE THE ELEMENTS (AND FUCKIN' RADICALS). goddammit :\)

I AM SEARCHING FOR A BAND - er, J-pop or J-rockish. I think it is a duo of two sisters and the name is ... Partyhead? Well, obviously it's not because I can't find any info with that name, but yeah.

Argh. If this rings a bell in anyone's head, please direct me to some INFO about them. They had one really awesome song that I loved like, years ago but it's been a fricking while.

.. .... ... I Am Sam is on tv again.

I am going to start crying in three, two, one minutes again.

Little known fact: I kept a blog on an 18+ only website when I was ten. I had an LJ when I was eleven and was promptly suspended once I charmingly had the brilliant idea of revealing it on facking childfree of all places. In my defense some people were impressed with my grammar.


Also, I shipped yuri before I even knew I shipped yuri. Odd.

WHY DO I TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY. (It's not actually anything. It's just that my brain refuses to accept a good thing for what it is. It runs a thousand melodramatic possible scenarios even now and I hate it. My brain would be so much more awesome if it ran on confidence instead of insecurity, but that is .. still not very good.)

In a moment of flash nostalgia I watched The Firebending Masters of Avatar season three today. (I don't care what people say, I LIKE season three) Also, I didn't KNOW that the series had a three-month hiatus, but it's almost over anyway. The burgeoning brotherly friendship between Zuko* and Aang is so precious and sincere and cute (Zuko's part of the convo when Aang wanted some of his fire was probably word-for-word what I would have said in that situation). Avatar is so amazing, this is the kind of stuff cartoons should be aspiring to (/biased). Plus I am enamoured with the beautiful friendship everyone has . Ah, friendship is such a beautiful thing~~~ why can't we all just enjoy the platonic love

... also, has there ever actually been blood on Avatar? Just curious.

SOMEDAY I WILL LEARN TO STOP BEING SO ANXIOUS AND WORRYWART ALL THE TIME. It will take ten years of stress off my life and I will learn to flavour the taste of joy without thinking it'll cause me an ulcer. But when will that happen? Mostly I dream of being like Kashiwabara Kenshin and being able to talk and do whatever I want for the lulz factor (read DOLLS chapter 11 for the hilarity and oh Kashiwabara is such a sexy bastard). Also, I want a smile as cheeky as his. /obscure fandom pimping

I am going to work hard and try to change up the ages and lives of the No Restraints nihongo cast &hearts; Not everyone's in high school, doncha know. I am already getting there -- poor Murakami Kiyoshi is an office-drone of epic fail and at least 21+. The real challenge will be making characters who already have lives before NR. I can always make the excuse that Arlyon/Meridon likes 'em malleable, but older characters are fun too.

Also, major plot adjustment for UR/WE. The massive decadent Divine Courts have moved from UR's stage to WE's because. Just because. That's cool - now I just need to know the setting for UR now.

* why do I identify with Zuko so badly and yet not even know it half the time. When the boy does something wrong, it is like "Yepyep I would have probably done that too". Except he is growing up and doing the right thing now and I hope someday I can do the same. Plus his and Aang's antics are kind of similar to my best friend and mine.