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[22 Apr 2005|02:19pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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placebo - english summer rain |
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I'm making a new livejournal.. but I need help with the name.
I figure, summers coming soon - and I made this journal last summer.
Everything in my life is completely different, so why not mix things up a little.
Make a new journal.
That I'll probably post nonsense in too.
So.. help me think of a new elljay name!
ps: i'm worried about my lauren. she hasn't written in a while..
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[21 Apr 2005|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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placebo - plasticine |
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mmm.
happiness.
i like the way that tastes.
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| You're so beautiful, don't you hear a word I'm saying? |
[19 Apr 2005|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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Matchbook Romance - Shadows Like Statues |
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Plan = get my shit together.
I love Haylee. Even if for half the conversation I wanted to punch the monitor and smash it, and cry, because I was getting so aggravated, in the end I feel much better about things. And I'm actually taking someones advice. Definately not an Amber thing to do but I have to grow up some time and I have to be responsible. If I grew up last year, I would have so much freedom now and everything wouldn't be so hard now.
But I'm definately motivated.
I've decided on a few things and with Haylees advice I'm not just going to say them. I'm going to force myself.
Wake up 9am everyday. Fuck I need a normal sleeping pattern, so I can be able to do schoolwork when people are in school and aren't home to distract me. Sounds good doesn't it? Alarms set for 9. I'll shower, and do schooling til 2. Sounds fair to me. Unless I have work - I'll get up around 5, shower and do schoolwork until I have work at 9. Sounds a little much but at least I'd get some work done, right?
Haylee's idea! Made another journal and she's going to dig up topics to write essays, speeches, whatever on. Has to be done everynight, it can't hurt. I can do research and at least know about certain subjects and stuff.
You people know me, give me some ideas on what to explore for a career choice. So far I've gotten two cosmetologist comments. But then Haylee told me not to, because it'd be too congested. A Psychiatrist is out of the question because I've fucked up too much to go any further with that and well, how would I pay for that? I don't want to be a vet, or anything with cutting anything open. No doctors, no vets, or nurses, or any of that crap.
I need to figure out what I want to do. What I want to work towards.
Should I expand in Journalism? Haylee told me to focus on my writing.
I need opinions people. Please don't overlook this entry - it's important to me to hear your feedback for this one!
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[18 Apr 2005|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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kmfdm - dogma |
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I was talking to Dominic tonight and..
He goes to college next year.
August.
5 hours away.
....
what the hell am i going to do?!?
and then i thought - i'm so fucking stupid.
i'm not smart at all.
i'm nobody.
why can't i be at something?
where's my hidden fucking talent.
why am i a piece of nothing.
i will amount to nothing.
i guess i have to accept that.
my future is so fucked.
i don't know anymore.
jkbjhvj'
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[18 Apr 2005|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Nothingface - Pacifier |
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Interesting.
A jamaican guy seems to think I'm the hottest piece of ass ever, and that I should go out with him, because he'll buy me everything, and I need a jamaican man. AND even though I declined, he said he isn't giving up and will be back in drugmart alot more.
...
On another hand.
I had a very threatening working two jobs conversation with my manager.
She said she'll give me all mornings.
But totally threatened the fuck out of me.
Nice.
And..
Dominic tomorrow! Hopefully. If my parents don't kill me before then.
Oh and this weekend.
Heather, Margaux and I are all going to a haunted bridge. W00t? kk night
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[16 Apr 2005|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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matchbook romance - your stories, my alibis |
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I'm so fucking happy.
I can feel the crash coming soon.
But I'm uncertain when.
I can't brace myself.
I don't know if I like that idea.
I'M SO BEING CONVERTED.
PS: Listening to your boyfriends music all the time, makes it grow on you - and you all know what that means.
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[14 Apr 2005|08:32am] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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music |
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Brand New - GTKTIIENAAIHTDID |
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Showertime is fun.
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[09 Apr 2005|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Matchbook Romance - If All Else Fails |
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I won't be writing in here anymore.
But since it has so much memory in here,
Haylee is going to come in and change my password and keep it from me.
I'm hopelessly addicted and I really need to get on the bandwagon here guys.
Keep in touch.
AIM: LoLLiRoTTeNiXi
Email: Alakissesx@hotmail.com
Cell: 216-798-9665
G'bye now. <3
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[08 Apr 2005|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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Incubus - Stellar |
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This is how I feel right now:
JBSDFSHFJSHFSDFSKJF
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[07 Apr 2005|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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 fat |
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music |
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Brand New - No Seatbelt Song |
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I LOVE RUMORS!!!!!!!!
I guess, I'm a hoe, a bitch, a whore, and a snake.
=]
Not all of them are rumors but this is how people talk about me. FOR ALL YOU BITCHES OUT THERE TALKING SHIT REMEMBER THIS: Dairy Smile is a motherfucking gossip house. I will find out if you say something. Because we know EVERYBODY there. Because EVERYBODY comes and gets icecream.
"Why did you break up with Kenny he's such a sweet heart!" Poor Nilda. She was informed of the situation, and is now reconsidering this sweetheart thing.
Kenny also said "Cheyenne said your boyfriend looked like Shaggy. And I tried to pay for my icecream but they wouldn't let me pay, I'm liked at Dairy Smile." And I did: *mumbles incoherently underbreath "not much longer they aren't"
BNDFSJBD
PS: I'm gonna go try to drive tonight. Nancy said I could drive her car in Daves. w00t. I <3 her.
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[06 Apr 2005|11:13pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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Death Cab For Cutie - Lack Of Color |
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Got a hoop - & I'm totally sportin' Domys new Brand New t-shirt. MMM. Smells like him =]
I'm being converted.
I really like this one.
Alot.
I feel so comfortable around him. Like you wouldn't believe. I was never able to have a relationship like this before. It's so nice, and I've been feeling so much more confident lately. I feel so perfectly happy.
I barely feel my insecurities anymore. That is definately a first.
PS: I got my job back at Dairy Smile =] Hugh just wants to meet with me to make sure I didn't get anymore facial piercings.
[edit]
DUDE. Wtf am I gonna do? Two jobs? Thats alot of time taken up..Especially if DS needs me alot. I don't know. I guess I'm going to have to talk to Renee. Maybe she can offer me to leave and give me my job back when the season ends? Or she can give me a few days a week.
PS: I've already taken over his room AND car. My stuff is either everywhere, or something I bought for him is. Haha <3 Worktime!
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[05 Apr 2005|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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My Chemical Romance - Demolition Lovers |
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I'M NOT SINGLE ANYMORE! DOMINIC <3
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[04 Apr 2005|09:08am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Hellogoodbye - Two Weeks in Hawaii |
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Saturday was amazing.
Well. The begining of the day sucked so bad. I had what 3 hours of sleep that night because someone didn't want to go to beddddddddd and get off the phone even though we both had to be up at 8 the next morning! And then his plane landed an hour late. And he finally got here at a little bit til 9. But at least he still got here, something no one else would've done for me before.
When I opened the door for him, I gave him a big hug. I was so anxious, and I wasn't sure if I should or not, but when I seen him I just had to. We went into the front room and I tried to put his hair in twisties but I didn't wanna gunk it up with gel. So; I put it in pigtails and braided a little tail in the back. I took a picture of that, it was cute. My mom came in after that, and I said "Mom, come meet Dominic." And he said "Can't I at least have some diginity when I meet her?" "No, leave the pigtails in." My mom came in and laughed and kind of did that, not really mean, but "Amm.." kind of thing about his pigtails.
We took them out, but I gave him a michelle do. That was so great, he can totally rock a michelle do. I didn't take a picture of that, because a michelle do is so ugly. I hate that woman. Anyways, so we're laying there, not yet holding hands, or even holding each other. We were just kind of close, and thats because when I sat down I sat close to him. So I said.. Hmm.. And grabbed his arm, and dragged him to my dad, and said "Dad can I take him upstairs to show him my rats?" "No one wants to see those things!" "Please!" "whatever I dont care go ahead" not in a mean way either!
So I dragged him upstairs, he held waldo, and ana. And then everytime he sat on the bed, he'd get RIGHT BACK UP. He was so nervous. So I told him, he didn't have to keep getting up off the bed, and he layed, and I layed down, and I don't remember how we ended up holding each other, but we did. And holding hands. And then I had to bribe my sister to stay upstairs so my dad wouldn't get suspicious because we were upstairs by ourselves. And I didn't wanna go back downstairs, so i had to buy her cookies.
Which by the way, 1 week and 3 days. Still going strong. So effing proud of myself.
Back to the story, finally Jenny wanted to go back downstairs.. so we did. And we just continued to do the same thing downstairs. Except, I would give him a random kiss on the head, or forehead, or cheek. Well, the last time, I gave him a kiss on the head cause he did something unbelievably cute. And then I kissed his cheek, and he just turned his head and kissed me. And then I just couldn't stop smiling.
Ahh. So then afterthat I was like k, my families getting mad we should go. And he took me to Kendras. And..it's hard to explain, but there wasn't just pecking in the car! I guess I pushed for more. I was more aggressive this time. Which is weird because I'm usually the one who just waits around til the guy has the nerve.
So he called me from work yesterday because he worked 9-6. And we talked for an hour. And he told me "Wanna hear something really cheesy?" "Hmm?" "I was having a hard time driving home because my knees were weak." AWWEEAWEEAWEE.
Mmmm. Happiness. I talked to him for four hours last night, and then I'm going to his house tomorrow. I'm so obsessed. I have pictures. I'm going to go scan them right now, and then put them on here. So MORE EDITS IN A FEW MINUTES.
I can't fucking get the stupid school scanner to scan them, so fuck it. It does everything but scan them even though its a copy machine, scanner, and printer and FAX machine all in one. WHATEVER.
[Notice, I left this unedited so many times. Once to go to Taco Bell with Heather & Sarah, and again to go the store, and now to scan pictures.]
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[02 Apr 2005|03:09pm] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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Jack Off Jill - Nazi Halo |
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I'm so excited. In about an hour to an hour and a half, I'll be with Domy. <3
He's coming over for a little bit, then we're going to this house. I'm telling dad I'm going bowling so I don't have to be home til about 11/12. Since Domys aloud out til 1 tonight. Staying over someones house that late is just not acceptable for daddy. So I have to be doing something, so I've been saying I'm going bowling. And when I come home I'm not even coming home I'm going to Kendras to stay the night...
fsnbfkjsbdf
BUTTERFLIES AND ALL THAT FUN STUFF.
You guys know how long I've spent on an outfit to wear? Oh god. I hope I didn't make a bad choice. Because when we go to his house we're going to nap because we're both so fuckin tired. !!!!
Gosh I'm so excited/nervous/anxious.
polariod camera + film 12 bucks
rubberbands 1 dollar
comb 1 dollar
gel 2 dollars
getting a pink subway shirt, napping with dominic, twisty-ing his hair up, and taking pictures = priceless
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[01 Apr 2005|08:24am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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Rasputina - Transylvanian Concubine |
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It's too fuckin early. Tuma will be here in a half hour and if he doesn't show I will be so happy because I really do not want to do this animal show today. It's at the botanical gardens. Some kind of bug thing, and I have no idea what time it ends. And I hope this isn't an all day thing, I didn't really get any information on it.
So when I come home I have to clean. Alot.
I might use the buddy using system for saturday. Maybe, we'll see.
And then I have to work 9-3:30 saturday, so. No sleep for Amber... anytime soon that is. Maybe saturday night.
Last night, since I had to be up at 8, and Dominic wanted to sneak on the phone to talk to me... but his mom took him to a bar and they played darts? I told him to call me when he got home/was able to and wake me up. He didn't want to but a threat of not talking to me in any way today, got my way of a 3am phone call waking me up. =] and then I went back to bed at 4, and up at 8!
I have this feeling I might be getting fired, because I keep getting yelled at/written up/complained about at work. =[
Dairy Smile opens in a week.
They only have Steph, Kendra, and Cheyenne.
Suzie when she gets back from Florida.
He's so going to need me! I wanntt mmyyy jobbb backkkkk!
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| miss piggy |
[30 Mar 2005|07:49pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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fndsjfn my dominic playlist. |
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this is what my co-workers & manager thinks i look like:
i'm so effin hott.
[edit @ 7:30am]
I just stayed up all night talking to Dominic, and I'm pretty sure his moms going to end up hating me for stealing all this time from her. So, we're not aloud to talk on the phone tomorrow because of tonight, and our 2 hr convo the night before.
And, if his flight gets in early enough saturday, he's going to come over here for a little bit. So; it kind of went from - Friday the 8th, to Tuesday, to saturday. I love how we just keep finding ways to make it possible to meet/hangout sooner. But I'm nervous - what is he going to think of me. I hope.. it's not a disappointment. I really hope he doesn't take one look at me and just wish he had never came.
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[29 Mar 2005|07:55am] |
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mood |
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infuriated |
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music |
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Matchbook Romance - If All Else Fails |
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My dad does this purposely.
Gets up crabby because he can't effin smoke.
And then comes in my room.
And blames me for the towels being missing.
Because obviously, that is my fault.
And obviously, they're all in my room somehow.
Because there are only two downstairs in the laundry room.
But it's not anyone else's fault.
It's mine.
I also lose internet in an hour to clean my room because he wants everyone to be miserable like him. But he doesn't know, I'm leaving in an hour and a half to get my ears pierced and go bike riding. Asshole.
I better have internet when I come back because Dominic's getting his eyebrow pierced and we're supposed to swap pictures!
Uh.
So the next couple of entries will be matchbookromance, hellogoodbye, and mychemicalromance, because uh, of Dominic.
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___rot's journal
chipper
