DeadJournal?

I miss; Walking over to Lato's house as I pleased, even Megs for that matter.
Playing barbies in the hot pink limo with Emy.
Living with Randall at my weakest.
Living with Junie at my best.
Being in school, working and having it all together.
Not being sick and only having fun.
When everything was stable and not afloat.
Being an evil duo with Teanna.
Second st Hermosa Beach and Mickeys Deli.
Seeing Layla almost every day.
Bane at chain reaction at least twice a year.
David Tiano and Ryan Delagdo as neighbors and friends.(fuck a girlfriend)
The fire pit in the backyard in Inglewood.
Jason Aalon Butler.
When Boo was a baby.
When I didn't drink or smoke.
When my smile cured everything.
When I had a better head on my shoulders.

I don't miss; The Inglewood house in general.
Living with Doris.
Working at the shitty tanning salon.
The chola chicks at school.
Fighting with Julian 24/7.
Living in Hawthorne.
All the drama from June to December 08.
Being in bed sick for months at a time.
Anyone I was romantically involved with in the past 2 years.
Did I say living with Doris already?

Fuckin life man, it'll get ya.

I had a conversation with Nick the other day about how I've never been so happy with everything as a whole in a long time. The last time I was 100% happy was 3 years ago and half the reason was because someone was making me happy. So for the first time ever, I'm happy 100% with just me. I can't even begin to describe it.

Ey and this new schedule is so dope. Being able to go out again and not trip about getting enough sleep is so good. I've been busy and happy and out with friends for the past month or more. Dancing with Ally way more, just like we always wanted, yeah girl I said it. Not to mention seeing the people I want to see and having a good time all the time.

Good Friend; Someone who makes you laugh and smile, hears you out, crashes at places with you on Thursday nights/lets you crash every Thursday night and passes you the blunt when all of you wake up in the same bed at 8am. No homo, wtf.

Heather.. culver city has been good to me.. no thanks to you! <3

Half A Life :
I've been meaning to ask you how life looks from the nose bleed seats, and to ask you how it feels to bleed
Your life's a waste and the way that I'll ask it will have revenge woven throughout, but will be masked with the concern that a friend would bring
You're so incomplete
Hold a mirror to show just what you've become and read your diary to figure out where things went wrong
I don't think I'll ever understand, how a cowardly cat can call himself a man
You're all show and it's getting old
As for the rest of us, we'll do fine with what we have, making the best of what is left
And you're a naysayer who will never know what it's like to really have half a life
I've been meaning to harm you in the best way that I see fit
I'm not sure if this did the trick, but I think It did. Hold a mirror to show just what you've become and read your eulogy to figure out where things went wrong
I hope one day you understand that a girl on your arm won't make you a man
Keep walking down your shallow lonely road
It's dark and cold and it's yours and yours alone
If you dig too deep are you scared you'll find something? Spoonfuls of shit will surely add up. Inside you're begging for a cure for your disease
You're life's a crime scene and it wont help to blame it all on me

You know what I hate about the phrase "true friend" is that there should be no in between because every friend should be a "true friend".

So why bullshit and make excuses or reasons for how you feel about the other friends? It's called an acquaintance and it aint bad to have some. It's not terrible to still be cool with someones company because there wasn't really something that clicked to become closer than what you are. The best part about these people is they can fade in and out and it's nothin.

As for the end of the spectrum don't let me matter to you cause you don't matter to me. All the schemin and ways to figure out how to be on top always, you're only tryna prove to yourself that you're worth something. And that is somethin you should already know, so I am the least of your problems.

The people who kept it real for 10 years plus; Kaitlin, Megan, Emy and Lato.
(more recently Vanessa and Ally)

The people who just couldn't get there; Do I really have to say it?

xoxo

Happy Birthday Hyatt ♥ I'll find you again.