Well, everything happens...

NASHCON

2012-10-18T22:34:07Z

___confused @ 2012-10-06T15:56:00

2012-10-06T19:56:37Z

Scott convinced me to go. Actually it was Allison’s doing. A while ago Allison took me shopping for some ‘girly’ clothes. Stuff I’d normally not wear since I considered myself more of a tomboy. I acted more like a boy than Scott but that’s not really saying anything.

Allison bargained with me and I ended up getting this red and white striped shirt and a tight as hell pair of jeans. She wanted me to wear high heels but, being the klutz I am, I wore my worn out converse shoes. I hated that she put makeup on me. “Come on,” I though, “I look like a clown.”

I feel uncomfortable. It’s cold outside, waiting in the line outside of the club sucks. I hate you, Scott. I wonder if Lydia will be here tonight, probably with Jackson. I’ve been in love with Lydia since I first met her. Even though she’s friends with Allison now, she still doesn’t notice me. I’m sure that if I had a power, it’d be invisibility.

Lydia is a goddess. Not only is she popular, she’s freakishly intelligent. That’s why we’d be perfect, both smart and well, that’s it. I’m not gorgeous like her but I’d provide much provided comedic relief to our relationship. She’s short, 5’4 at least. Deep strawberry red hair, flowing locks, green eyes, red plump lips…. Yeah, I’ve got it bad for her.

I can feel the ground and see the walls shaking from the music inside. Stupid pants, still tight. Some guys are eying me up. Sorry guys, I don’t drive stick. Actually I don’t drive anything. There’s no driving for Stiles. Not even any gear shifting for Stiles.

“Damn it, Scott.”

Scott turns away from Allison, his goofy grin pisses me off.

“What?”

“Why did you take me here?”

“It’ll be fun, trust me?”

I sigh loudly so loud a few strangers turn and look at me odd.

“Lydia’s going to be here tonight.”

My heart skips a beat hearing her name but it dies down when I realize Jackson’s going to be there with her. I really hate that guy. Not because of him dating Lydia but he’s a just a huge asshole. He was captain of the lacrosse team, until Scott…. Had that ‘incident’ and ended up being our new lacrosse team captain.

“Yeah but with Jackson.”

Scott’s smile drops and look at me with those lame sad eyes.

“You know St— ”

“It’s okay, Scott. I’m okay. I’ve faced the fact,” I shiver when a cold breeze hits me, “that she’ll never notice me. I don’t have a chance with her.” I give Scott a reassuring smile. “I’ll be okay.”

Scott’s frowning but Allison’s tugging on his sleeve to get his attention. When did we get to the door? The bouncer is this stereotypical huge, black guy. He looks like he’s going to kick my ass.

“$25.” His voice has a rumble to it.

I hand the money over (I love how I still had to pay even if Scott’s the one who made me go) and get this stupid green bracelet on my wrist. I follow both of them through the sweaty crowd, tons of pretty good looking girls but not Lydia-pretty. Allison pulls Scott to the dance floor immediately, leaving me standing awkwardly by myself.

“I’ll just be…. here.” I yell to Scott. He just waves at me, grinning like a idiot. I walk through the crowd. Music is loud, pounding in my ears. Strobe lights, glow sticks, a disco ball? People still sell those? “Excuse me,” I run into a few ravers, dressed in hot pink clothes with fairy wings strapped on their backs. They don’t listen, I have to literally push them out of my way. I trip over someone’s leg and knock over this dude. He’s tanned, muscular, a total jerk and gives me a irritated look and calls me a bitch. I apologize to him and when he gets up his shoulder hits me as he basses by. “Dick.” I mumble under my breath.

I make way through the crowd, until I reach the chairs by the wall. A few people are there but there’s enough room for me to not socialize. These couches are comfy. I should ask the owner where he bought them. I hop on the couch a bit, no one noticing me. I pull my feet up and get them settled on the cushion. Chances are, Scott and Allison will be here for a long time. Allison’s my ride home. My jeep is still in the shop.

The people next to me leave after a half a hour. I prefer being alone. Well alone, alone. I watch everyone dancing or attempting to form some kind of dancing technique. Boys grinding girls, girls grinding guys, girls grinding girls. The bass in the building is so powerful that I feel it in my chest. It’s a strange but interesting feeling. I’m don't dance though. I’m one of those awkward dancers that after I dance I beat myself in embarrassment. I’m thirsty but the bar is too far away from me. I can wait. I’m not dehydrating at this moment.

I scan the crowd for Scott but instead find Lydia. She’s looks more gorgeous than ever if that’s even possible. She’s wearing this short blue dress, with a yellow belt, black smoky eyes and blue pumps. She’s breathtaking and there’s Jackson. I deeply sigh. Ugh, she’s all over him. What does she even find in him? He’s not ugly but he’s a idiot. She should find someone who knows that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. I roll my eyes and turn focus on Lydia again. When she smiles it kills me. She disappears in the crowd. I feel someone sit next to me, I turn around and it’s…

“Derek.” What is he doing here?

Derek is giving me this strange look on his face.

I uncomfortably move away from him, inching away as much as possible.

“Stiles.” His voice seems more pained and deeper than usual.

“Umm… What are you doing here? Picking up girls? Recruiting more werewolves?” I half smile.

“No.” He says, simple, direct. You have to admire him for being stoic.

“Can you stop staring at me, dude?”

Derek blinks and frowns at me. It’s like he just realized he was sitting by me. What is up with this guy?

“Scott’s with Allison but you already know that right?” Still no answer. He’s wearing the same leather jacket and jeans he always wears. He’s not a bad looking dude but if he was a girl maybe I’d consider it. Although, girl Derek would beat me up more than usual. “Hmm…. Well, having fun?”

“Stiles we need to talk.” His eyes are looking strange now.

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” I joke. Please don’t kill me.

Derek doesn’t answer and grabs my hand.

“Wait!” I try to jerk my hand out of his grasp, he’s strong so that doesn’t work of course. “Oh my God. You are going to kill me!” I struggle again to get out of his grasp.

“Stiles, stop being stupid, I’m not going to kill you.”

“Then let me go.” I glare at him. Derek glares then his face softens a bit. My hand drops on the couch. I’m rubbing my wrist.

“Can we talk?”

“Yes, we are talking right now. The moving of our mouths with sounds, is talking actually.”

He gives me the Derek irritated look number five look that means ‘Stiles, I’m going to kill you’ look.

“I meant somewhere else.”

I start laughing, maybe in panic, I’m not sure. “Yes but I prefer to talk in a room full of witnesses.” I glance around the crowd. Damn it, Scott.

“Fine.” He growls.

I settle back in the couch, clutching my legs. “What do you want to talk about?”

He leans over the couch towards my neck, doesn’t this guy know anything about personal space, and sniffs me. “What the hell dude!?” I push him away.

“You smell different.”

“Like body odor?”

“No,” Derek squints his eyes. “You smell like everyone.”

“Well I am in a club. Bound to happen.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Okay, well you can go away.”

“I don’t like people’s scent on you.” His eyes turn a dark shade of red.

“Why?” I’m absolutely freaking out now. “Why are you even talking to me? Do you need something?” Anything, so you can go far away from me.

“Stiles,” He holds his hand out, “Come with me. Please.” He grinds his teeth hard when he says ‘please’. It’s like it was physically painful to say please. Actually, I never heard him say please. Of course, I can say ‘no’ and run to find Scott but if Derek is saying ‘please’ maybe I should go with him? I’m sure he doesn’t say please often. I notice my hand is shaking when I reach for his hand.

“Relax. I’m not going to bite you.” Derek grins.

I let out a halfhearted chuckle, “Funny.” Regardless, I get up from the couch, grabbing his hand, “Not really convincing when you joke about biting me, wolf boy.” Regardless, I grab his hand and get up from the couch. I take a last look around at the club and follow Derek. My hand is clammy but his is firm, dry and rough feeling. No clamminess whatsoever.

It’s amazing how he just flows through the crowd. Not knocking into anyone, not even a slight brush of the shoulder. Me, on the other hand, stumble and step on some poor girl’s feet. Well, she should have harder shoes.

We actually go towards the back door instead of the entranced. I don’t trust the guy but I know if he kills me, Scott definitely won’t join his pack.

He pushes the exit door, hmm no alarm. Of course it’s the back alley, cold wind hits me hard. I let go of his hand and rub my arms. I look up, the sky is clearer now. I jump when I feel something heavy on my shoulders. It’s his jacket.

“Umm… thanks.” I put my arms in the sleeves. I breath in deeply, too obvious. The jacket smells like woods and some non-specified spice-like smell. This is Derek’s jacket. Pretty much the only item he owns. Aside from the numerous wife beaters. Why’s he acting so strange? I glance at him his gaze is too tense, his eyes are blue with greenish brown speckles. How am I just realizing this now?

My cheeks feel hot, I’m blushing. He already notices, quick think of something.

“So…. You wanted to talk to me?” Smooth, Stiles.

Derek’s jaw twitches and he looks away.

“Oh… kay…”

Derek’s looking everywhere but my eyes. His eyes end up resting on my neck.

I sigh, “Derek, thanks for the jacket but why are we out here? Why did you BRING me out here? You’re acting more weight than usual. You’re giving me your jacket and hold---.”

Derek’s kissing me. His lips are on my lips. Moving. Surprisingly soft moving, not rough and aggressive. I’m leaning into the kiss, his stubble is scratching my cheeks. His hands are moving up the lengths of his jacket around my neck and in my hair tightly pulling. I unconsciously let out a small moan. Derek’s smiling and deepens the kiss even more. A trash can drops nearby, I break the kiss and look over his shoulder. A kid is on the ground giggling while his two friends are laughing at him.

I look back at Derek and I just realize we were kissing. Lips, lips of Derek! He’s just staring at me and not the typical antisocial staring, it’s more like… want? Confusion? Shock?

“Why did you kiss me?” I whisper, searching in his eyes for some clue, some answer. I find nothing.

He raises his hand to my cheek, “Been wanting to.”

I lean into his hand then wake up. “Wanting to? Why, why me? you know, I like girls right? and you--- you hate me. What the hell, Derek!? I can’t help but freak out. “Out of no where? Tonight, when I don’t look like a tomboy, when I have my makeup and hair done?” I’m ranting like a insane person. I’m already pacing back and forth and he’s not saying a word.

“It’s not just tonight that I wanted to, Stiles.” Derek staring at me with icey blue eyes this time. My God, are his eyes mood rings?

“Do you mean you like me? Because you have a funny way of showing it.” Repeated incidents of him pushing me into the wall, threatenting me. Twice, he’s throw my head into the steering wheel.

“I’ve liked you since you’ve met.”

I’m at lost for words. Rare.

Derek chuckles, “For once, Stiles is silent.”

“You are…” he’s finding something to say, “my mate.”

“Your mate….” I’m still lost. “Right.”

“so, this whole time of threatening me, shoving and bounching my head off steering wheels, it’s flirting?”

Derek sighs. He better have a explanation. “I’ve been denying it but tonight seeing you, seeing people looking at you… Smelling like so many people just made me realize I do….” He doesn’t say anything else.

“Do what? Don’t hate me? You care about me?” I’m stepping up to him looking dead into his face. “I’m not your ‘mate’.” I take off his jacket, “Here. I don’t need it.” I push it roughly in his chest and walk away.

Derek doesn’t go after me. Not sure if I’m surprised or disappointed he didn’t. I rub my arms and go back to the club. Instead of finding somewhere to sit or Scott, I just sit by the exit door clutching my legs.

The kiss was amazing. I can’t even lie or deny it. It was my first kiss. Derek was my first kiss.

The door besides me opens, the cold air fills the hot, humid back room for a brief moment. I know by not looking it’s Derek. He did come after me. I’m staring at the hole on the wall. Wonder what happened. Someone tripped, got mad or simply an accident moving equipment.

I feel him sit next to me, his shoulders touching mine. He runs his hand down his jeans and lays it there, open. A invitation. I love Lydia. Completely, pathethically in love with her. She’s never noticed me. Well…. I like to like of it as never being on her radar.

Derek, he’s…. Derek. Never looked at him, only saw him as ‘sourwolf’. What I can’t understand is why now? Why tonight? Why me? There are gorgeous women out there. Hell, Erica is smoking hot and she’s part of the pack. I’m just… human. Just Stiles.

Derek’s always been annoying to me and too intimidating. Always being a dick to me, always creeping around.

I stare at his hand. I slowly reach over and place my hand atop his. I curl my fingers between his, his hand is warm. My heart is pounding so hard. He can probably feel and hear it.

“Calm down,” he whispers.

Weirdly my body does. It’s something in his voice or wolf powers that makes my body calm down. It’s like witchcraft or wolfcraft. I chuckle.

“What?”

I look over to Derek, I give him a small smile. “Nothing.” I dare to gently squeeze his hand. His eyes are more softer than usual, he looks so different. I have a feeling that this is a side of Derek no one sees much of.

The music in the building is still shaking the floor and walls. I’m just staring at our entwined hands, in shock, in amazement. I can feel Derek looking at me again but then again, when isn’t he not?

“Do you ever get tired of staring?”

“No.”

Simple, one word response.

I jump when a couple burst through the door, heading towards the exit door. They stumble towards me, the girl laughing and the boy is popping a few pills in his mouth. The girl is blonde, with black highlights, wearing this light green dress. Her boobs are spilling out, nice boobs actually. The guy’s in some tshirt and jeans with holes on the bottom. They almost step on me but Derek suddenly growls at them, red eyes glowing. They seem to sober up for a moment and take off through the exit door.

“So, what is this?” I look down at our hands back to his face, eyes still glowing red. He closes his eyes a few seconds before opening them again, his eyes are back to normal. I want mood eyes.

He lets go of my hand and I feel strange without the contact.

“Whatever you want it to be.” He looks down.

“Do you…. I mean….”

“Yes.” Derek raises his head, looks straight in my eyes to hold my eye contact. I feel a chill. I know it’s not from the cold outside.

“Why?”

“You are familiar with the term soulmate? In a way you are my—”

“Mate, mate?”

He nods.

“Oh.” I honestly don’t know what to say. “What if I don’t want to be?”
He looks like I stabbed him in the kidneys. “I’ll respect your decision. Humans, especially younger people are more difficult to have mates with.”

I feel offended but before I say anything he tells me, “You have a lot of people you might be with.”

“That’s if someone actually likes me. Even if by some miracle someone does like me, what will you do? Move on? Pine for me?”

“Yes.”

I scoff, “Seriously?” Another nod. “That’s depressing. I’m sure you can find someone else. I mean, you were with Kat—” Shit. Derek’s jaw twitches. “I’m so sorry. I’m stupid, I forgot about her. I—”

“She wasn’t may mate. We only have one mate for life. You are mine.”

“Wow, this buckets full of craziness right now. How can you say that to people and expect them to respond back? Normal people don’t do that but then, we don’t live normal lives. I lean over, raising my hand to turn Derek’s face to kiss him. It’s quick and I pull away a few inches from his mouth.

“And you are mine?” Hot air is building between us.

“Yes.” His voice is trained, like he’s struggling to not get closer.

Someone is mine. That someone is Derek. I smile and continue kissing him. We lose track of time. Hair pulling, lip biting, which I freaked out about being turned. You’re fine. The crowds are dispersing music is over.

Derek’s lifting his face up from my neck, “Scott’s coming,” he gets up from the floor. I follow, dismissing his offering hand. I brush off the dust on the back of my pants and fix my shirt. My shirt is wrinkled, my hair is a mess but Derek is slightly smiling at me. He should smile more. His teeth is white, too bright white and he has buckteeth. It’s cute.

“Do we tell Scott?””

“If you want, he will smell me on you. It’d be obvious.”

“Knowing Scott, he’ll not realize it. Alyson will probably know.” He actually chuckles. Holy shit. “So are we…” I wave my hands back and forth between us.

“If you want to be.”

I’m frustrated, “Derek, just ask me out of at least say we are official!” It seems ridiculous to rant about what this thing is between us but I’ve never had anyone who wants me. It’s foreign and weird. It’s surreal but Derek is there. Leather jacket, white teeth piercing blue eyes with green flecks and huge eyebrows. I can’t say I didn’t look at him. Since I’ve crushed on Lydia forever I never noticed anyone. Derek could be my Lydia. Derek could be my Derek.

“We are together now,” he says with that deep voice of his, “Offically.” He does a small barely there smirk.

I lean close to him and kiss him softy, I part his lips and smile looking at him, “Awesome.”

___confused @ 2011-08-30T00:26:00

2011-08-30T04:26:23Z

___confused @ 2011-08-30T00:24:00

2011-08-30T04:24:41Z

I might get used to giving up

2011-08-29T18:43:03Z

How do you know it's time to just forget the person? I have a hard time doing that. I just don't understand why I'm not good enough to forgive, to be friends with again. I'm sick and tired of people leaving. I feel like I'm the only one that cares about the person still, when the person doesn't really think of me at all anymore. I wish I didn't care but I do.

You can apologize till you are crying and begging but... what's the point if they don't forgive? Even if you don't believe in God. You must believe in forgiveness. You can't force people to forgive and can't force then to be your friend again.

I know I have my mistakes and my POV's. I should watch what I say but doesn't mean it was towards a certain person, you know? I have thoughts in my head often random thoughts. I want to ask/share/etc them.

I don't know what to do. I wish I wasn't pathethic and I wish I wasn't crying. Thinking about why they aren't talking to me, instead of my schooling, family, health etc.

I just can't accept giving up. I think a friendship is worse than breaking up with a partner.

I Will Always Be Your Friend

I Know Who You Are Inside

I Am With You Till The End

Never Far Behind

I am standing in the distance

You can take your time

And I will be there waiting

Never Far Behind

___confused @ 2011-08-29T00:05:00

2011-08-29T04:05:50Z

"But you did what you had to, then you tried to forget. And when you couldn't forget... they had ways of making you not care."

- Dark Angel

___confused @ 2011-08-27T00:46:00

2011-08-27T04:46:57Z

</3

2011-01-17T15:52:44Z

Johnson

has lost all faith in love and trust. It doesn't exist. We will all destroy each other. Break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Send them off before they fuck you over or vise versa. Go be happy. Go live for yourself.

2010 IN REVIEW SURVEY

2011-01-04T19:33:59Z

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Danced to "Telephone" on my prosthetics? Umm.... pregnancy photos, it was scary but then it was fun. Had a friend take photos of me with my bare legs exposed and I rolled in dirt. Um... printmaking, so difficult. Make food jewelry!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

LLLLLLLLLLOL. I looked to find my last years but... apparently... I didn't post it. I'm lame. So... no and yes.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Crap. Like close close? No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Not to me but to some other people. :(

5. What countries did you visit?

None but I'm content knowing I accomplished that two years ago. I can't believe it's been two years!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

More control of anger and emotions. Be nicer and more helpful to people. More photoshoots/projects for my portfolio. More creativity and just being happier with life. I would love getting a job and my biggest is getting a van. It would literally change my life so much. I don't think people understand how it would. Confidence.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Christmas this year was the best Christmas I've had since my father died. It was such a great Christmas and I just loved this Christmas break, even if I didn't have internet, it was nice to spend time with my mother and sister.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being able to dance better and to walk pretty dang good. Finding out I got RHI Patient of the Year 2009 and wining merit awards for all three of my photos! Making food jewelry with my sister!

9. What was your biggest failure?

BREAKING MY HARD DRIVE AND LOSING ALL OFF MY FALL 09-SPRING 10 PHOTOS.
&Not controlling my anger and emotions. Also confidence. Losing my SSI case... etc.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?

HMMMMMM.... My new camera and hard drive.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The guy who lives in a van down the river.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Jeff. LOL. Some others... but guys suck.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Food. Some for presents for next year. Food. Clothes. Food. Electronics. Oh did I say Food?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

NOTHING. LOL JK. LADY GAGA CONCERT AND TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA CONCERT YO!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

"Telephone" - Lady Gaga

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier!

ii. thinner or fatter? LLLLLLLLLLLLOL Fatter? Idk idk

iii. richer or poorer? Idk. Poorer?

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Giving up on SSI and just... trying to get a job I guess. Although I was emotionally unstable at the time still. Hang out with my homies.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Farmville. FACEBOOK. Eating. Being a girlfriend 24/7.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

WOO! I already spent it.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

Jeff. Susan. Txting Shay alot.

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Love has many meanings... plus I'm still with the same human.

23. How many one-night stands?

OH BOY TONS. LOL JK. NONE of course...

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Okay..... I watched King of the Hill seasons 1-13 over four times my Fall semester on Netflix. I fell in love with "Survivors". "The Walking Dead" was awesome. "V" was neat. Reality tv like Dad Camp, Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, You're Cut Off, Bridalplasty. The Nanny (MISS THAT SHOW), The Soup. TRU BLOOD. Psych. The Office.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

HIGHLY DISLIKE.

26. What was the best book you read?

"Undateble"

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Black Keys(WATCH TIGHTEN UP). Paramore.

28. What did you want and get?

E- reader. New hard drive.

29. What did you want and not get?

Van

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD!!!!!!!!! =0 HP&TDH with Shay!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Spent it with the family and Shay! I was 22!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

.Van

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

LOL. No fashion. BUT I had cute socks, shoes and boots.

34. What kept you sane?

Watching Netflix, facebook and.... taking photos.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Eliza Dushku! Seth Green!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Health care?

37. Who did you miss?

I miss talking to Shawn, Chris and Dank. Calvin, Connie. Sean, John. Alot of people... :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?

KENDRA CREEK! She was the most amazing person I've ever met! <3

ALSO.... Amber!!!! Man, you've been through so much for so long and I'm glad to have met you! <3

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:

Life sucks. We all know this but... it really could be worse. Don't take everything for granted. Be grateful for what you have when you know there are others that so worse off than you. I try to do this as well... Even if I don't have my legs... I'm grateful for having my arms, being able to not have chemo or spine surgeries. I'm grateful for not being blind or deaf.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

My head is full of space junk
But your words are getting through
I'm riding on the space junk
And it's bringing me to you

My Girlfriend

2009-09-23T02:50:13Z

BTE

2009-09-09T04:16:45Z

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/38950509.html?thread=5824018797#t5824018797

LEZ.

2009-09-01T21:14:32Z

LOL

526

2009-08-31T03:07:37Z

farmville

2009-08-28T21:34:45Z

http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/4679232

Today, my husband and I were having sex, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

WHAT WHAT

2009-06-19T22:52:06Z

HEY BITCHES!!!! I can walk with a cane now!!!!*

* with a person watching me tho.

Hhaha

2009-05-28T23:48:53Z

Quizzes Girls Games

“Show Me Your Genitals” Lyrics & Words by Jon Lajoie

2009-04-25T04:00:29Z

Women are stupid and I don’t respect them,
That’s right, I just have sex with them.

Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Genitalia!
Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Genitalia!

You’re talkin’ to me about stuff…why?
I’d rather see your titties.
Now you’re talking about other stuff…why?
I’d much rather see your titties.

I can’t have sex with your personality,
and I can’t put my penis in your college degree,
and I can’t shove my fist in your childhood dreams,
so why you sharing all this information with me?

It’s not sexist ’cause I’m saying it in a song,
That’s right bitch, now take off your thong…

And show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Your genitalia!
Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Your genitalia!

Knock knock, who’s there? It’s me…
Wondering why you’re not naked.
Know knock, who’s there? Me again…
Still wondering why you’re not naked.

I wanna see your bum, I don’t care what you say,
No I don’t have feelings cause feelings are gay.
Something something in the month of May,
Bitches love my penis cause it’s really big.

Girls’ brains are much stupider than men’s are,
so they should always listen to us cause we’re smart.
Women are only good for three things,
cooking, cleaning…and vaginas.

Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Your genitalia!
Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Your genitalia!

I can give good sex to you…
cause I’m really good at sex.
I can give good sex to you…
cause I’m really good at sex.

Ahh yeah, that’s right, shake your…bums.

I’m out of here…I gotta go have sex…
with a lot of girls.

Thanks for the Mix, Linds!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-08T01:35:03Z

But everybody thinks I'm weird
And I should have known
That it wouldn't be long
Until you, you've got me standing in an awkward position
With unwanted attention and a need for explanation
And it's not that I'm letting go of you
But I don't know what to do

Need to know that you're breathing
And you know you're alive
Oh Bang, bang. Smack. Ouch.
I can't shake this feeling
That I'm down on my luck

Oh and I'm feeling
Directionless yes
But that's to be expected
And I know that best
And in creeps the morning
And another day's lost
You've just written wondering
And I reply fast
All you need to save me
All you need to save me
Call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call
I feel like a fool
So I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard
A letter to send to you
And if I forget
Or god forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me
Know that I wrote to you
All you need to say to me
All you need to say to me
Is call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call

SDAGASDG

2008-12-07T21:54:17Z

iamcheryltweedy: "VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM, YOU DUMB SLUT"
cassieislovely: "OH OK DOCTOR"
iamcheryltweedy: "THANKS I KNOW"

[info]jun4thisonthway
2008-09-30 09:36 am
"I LOVE elevators.

Whenever I'm in one alone I like do karate, or act like I'm giving birth, or pretending I'm a fish or OMG THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS AND AMAZING!

For like, twenty seconds you get this public space all to yourself and IDK I love them."

[info]one_fierce_bish
2008-09-30 09:41 am
"omg and I had this one fear that a deep voiced Michael Jackson would creep into my room at night and sit on my bed and slowly turn to me and just whisper my name

or that a six foot penguin would just sit in the corner at night staring at me

or waking up and finding a baboon in my room"

[info]viva_colleen
2008-10-08 11:00 pm
He became a vegetarian after watching lambs play in a field outside his home.

"That's the same reason why I stopped eating children."

viva_colleen
2008-10-09 06:00 am UTC (link) Track This
"He became a vegetarian after watching lambs play in a field outside his home.

That's the same reason why I stopped eating children.

RANDOM LOLS

2008-12-06T08:30:25Z

"He's called Toby, he's only ten weeks old and he likes being tickled under the tummy. And if any of our guests swear tonight, I'm going to have to murder Toby."

THIS THREAD

LMFAO

2008-12-04T17:34:31Z

In 2008, ___Confused resolves to...

Ask my boss for a superbad.
Go to noein every Sunday.
Pay for my padackles on time.
Connect with my inner wincest.
Give up morganville vampires.
Buy new pushing daisies.

TRUE BLOOD EPISODE 12 WTFWTWF

2008-11-25T01:46:06Z

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD..................

BEGIN.

LAWL

2008-11-24T00:06:32Z

22. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ''Afternoon Delight'' (2004)

The Bluth family Christmas is a special recipe. You'll need:
·2 parties (Party No. 1 to humiliate the attendees, Party No. 2 to humiliate the Bluths, thereby appeasing the partiers from Party No. 1)
·1 damaged frozen-banana stand
·1 unskilled crane operator/fake army recruit
·1 creepy teenage girlfriend
·2 morally questionable twins
·1 granny high on pot brownies, in possession of a vehicle
·3 inappropriate duets of Starland Vocal Band's ''Afternoon Delight.''

Combine ingredients with arrogance, entitlement, and a splash of incest for flavoring, then retreat to a safe distance.

dear michael cera

sookie

WHY I LOVE T-SHIRT HELL [WARNING: language srsly language.]

2008-11-21T04:33:19Z

From: Kelly M.

like school in the summertime......NO CLASS. You people are obviously Democrats.

Editor's Note: You're like a snow cone stand in the middle of winter: a stupid fucking cunt. Wait... that doesn't make any sense.

Anyway, on top of nailing us with that delicious pun, you also correctly guessed that we're Democrats. Just like that other guy correctly guessed that we're Republicans.

"How can they both be right?" says the dumbass. It's very simple. We are everything and we are nothing. We are everywhere and we are nowhere. We are that which cannot be defined or categorized. Unless you call us indifferent, in which case you pretty much nailed it.

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

From: Carmen

ignorant republican cunt. even if you were smart enough to have tshirts aimed toward liberals, they still would be equally lame. your site design sorta sucks balls to. vote obama you bush loving twat

carmen

Editor's Note: How dare you call me an "ignorant republican cunt"! I am only one of those things. And since I'm not registered you have a 50/50 chance of getting this right. Oh okay, I'll tell you. It was cunt. However, I do my best to avoid attaining any new knowledge or education. What? It's not like I need to know the name of the Governor of America in order to climax.

Depending on when you read this, I'm not going to vote Obama/I didn't vote Obama. And it's not just because I'm a convicted felon and have an irrational fear of waking up early enough to vote. I don't vote because I don't believe in rewarding mediocrity.

You people don't seem to get that our politicians are going to remain mediocre as long as we hold them to no standard other than "Republican or Democrat." Seriously, Democrats and Republicans could've made brain-damaged chimps their respective candidates and they would've received as many votes as Obama and McCain. Just remember to paint the chimps red and blue so I know which one will better pander to my needs.

At this point, I would vote for a batshit crazy candidate simply because I would know he wasn't just telling me what I want to hear. "What's that? Your platform is forcing every American citizen to cut off their own nipples and eat them? Wow...there is no way that guy is pandering. You've got my vote, guy with a hat made of used tampons."

.............................

From: Steph

Thank you for proving what pieces of slime Obama supporters are with your tshirt. Thanks to your tshirt exposing what POS support Obama 3 more independents are now voting for McCain. Obama voters kill babies.
Editor's Note: Don't make such broad generalizations. I'm not voting for Obama and I've killed more babies than my local Arby's knows what to do with. You know who else isn't voting for Obama? God. And when you add up all the miscarriages and stillbirths throughout history, that guy's numbers put Planned Parenthood to shame. Combine that with the fact that God is the one who allows those damn liberals to kill babies in the first place, and you reach the conclusion that God is a bit of a cunt.
This email kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier. Here we have three people who are, at least on paper, adults, and they are voting for a candidate because a fucking T-shirt hurt their feelings. "John McCain's wha? Policies? I don't know what that means, but shirt make me feel bad!"
A shirt which doesn't even imply that we support Obama, despite what you conclusion-jumping assholes may think. Wal-Mart sells books and fitness equipment. Do you think they care about literacy and health? No, businesses care about profit. This is not MoveOn.org, this is fucking T-Shirt Hell. McCain voters don't kill enough babies.

TRUE BLOOD EPISODE 11

2008-11-20T16:36:43Z

OMG.

SO.... GO!

ME? #

HIGHLIGHT THIS:

JASON YOU DUMBASS. DONT THINK YOU KILLED THEM. MY GOD! MY GOD! *TAKES V AND BEATS TEH SHITE OUTOF EVERYONE*

TARA OH NO. THE BLACK GIRL ALWAYS DIES.

FUCKING SOOKIE MAKES ME MAD.

LOLLERCOASTER AT BILL AND MY MAN SAM. LOL.

RIGHT NOW?

I FUCKING HATE SAM. FUCKING AHTE. SOOKIE IS LIKE A DISEASE.