Abby

Finals, ahhh!!

T-Minus 8 days until Daytona.



"If ever there were a spring day so perfect,
so uplifted by a warm, intermittant breeze


that it made you want to throw
open all the windows in the house


and unlatch the door to the canary's cage,
indeed, rip the little door from its jamb,


a day when the cool brick paths
and the garden bursting with peonies


seemed so etched in sunlight
that you felt like taking


a hammer to the glass paperweight
on the living room end table,


releasing the inhabitants
from their snow-covered cottage


so they could walk out,
holding hands and squinting


into this larger dome of blue and white,
well, today is just that kind of day."

(Billy Collins)

R.I.P. Patrick.
You really were my favorite fishy.



It's probably a little silly that I get so sad about a dead goldfish, but I'm weird about dead things anyway and the fact that he was the one that Jordan picked out made me cry.
I managed to save Spot and I hope he makes it, but man.
Patrick was the pretty one and he was the one that Jordan chose.
Plus there's something that's very undignified about being flushed down a toilet.
Even for a goldfish.

Friends Only from now on.

Sometimes the only thing you need is to know that someone loves you.
And to my various friends: if you ever need to know that you are loved, you can count on me.

Show tonight.
"It's gonna be bitchin'."

Dear Justine:

Your life is not a joke.

All I ever want to do is sleep.
I can't wait until school is out so I can focus on my job, my boyfriend, and having a life.
Classes stress me out so much.

Bullshit.

Today's been the best day I've had in a really long time.
My friends really are my family.

I hate Jordan's new job.

I mean it's awesome that he has one and that he's not working at AOE anymore, but he dislikes the shift he works, he has to drive half and hour to get there, and as cheesy as it sounds, we never get to see each other anymore. We haven't been on a real "date" or anything since his first week on the job, and it's just a crappy situation. Luckily he's looking around for another one because this one's just not working out.

Speaking of work, I'm on the schedual six days this week. Ahhhh!
Also: Going to Florida Southern is like being in high school still. It's pretty ridiculous.

Jordan gave me two pet goldfish yesterday!
I'm so excited; I've wanted fish forever.
Adam named one Spot and I named the other one Patrick, since they were given to me on St. Patrick's Day.
So that was pretty exciting.
And last night after the show he and I went back to his house and watched TV and fell asleep on the couch just like old times.
And today I'm going up to his store at 7:00 to see him on his break.

Awesome!

Today makes me feel like I did my whole senior year.

So far today:
-Woke up early
-Went to Publix
-Made a ham and pineapple for Jordan to take to work tonight
-Made a pineapple pizza for me
-Cleaned the kitchen
-Took Jordan his food
-Went to the bank

Later today:
-Work
-Work
-Work

Things've been weird lately. I'm gradually getting used to Jordan being at work all the time, and I've been working more and more.
Buuuut I'm on Spring Break, niggas.
It's been long-anticipated.

At home.
Alone.
Watching Family Guy.

Today's a gross day weather-wise, and I'm feeling only semi-enthusiastic about going to the Hatter to see this show.
Shows are fun and everything, but two in a row seems a little excessive to me, and my head hurts like crazy.
And I don't really like going to shows without Jordan.
But I'm going anyway.

T-minus two days until Spring Break.

It's been a while since I've felt so tired that I've started acting like a zombie.

In a predator/prey world, I am apparently "A sheep with the potential to become a wolf."
Whatever that means.

In other news, tonight was good. After work I took Jordan out on a real, honest-to-God date to celebrate his new job. We went to Chili's and then BAM! and then we went and saw "Ghostrider."
Good food, good books, good movie, and my favorite person in the world.

Awesome.

I'm so tired of watching my best friends fuck their lives up. And it's just getting worse and worse. With every body.






"I just wanted to say that I know you're hurt over ------- and it's the same hurt with ------. But I love you and it may not mean that much 'cause I'm your boyfriend, but I'll always be your best friend. Night." -Jordan

Man, I'm sick again. I don't know what's wrong with me! I've been eating BETTER, exercizing MORE, taking MORE vitamins, and I'm FREAKING SICK. AGAIN. This is getting ridiculous.


Yesterday I got this really awesome orchid. It's a palaenopsis with big white flowers with lots of bright pink freckles and yellow-and-fuschia middles. I repotted my green and purple dendrobium, and it and my other dendrobium both have new growth shoots. And all three are growing happily in my windowsill. Awesome. I love not killing my plants.


Last night was the Billy Collins Master Class / Reading / Book signing. I got a copy of his book Sailing Alone Around The Room, which he signed, and got to see my favorite poet ever read his stuff in person. Pretty sweet. The only thing that was annoying was how all these people were just fawning all over him. You know how people do... laughing louder at jokes than is natural, flattering him over and over, inviting him out to dinner, to get drinks, etc. etc. I don't know, it just bugs me when people suck up to other people just because they're famous.

During the reading there was this man who sat in a row cattycorner to me who looked exactly like Saddam Hussein. Not the young Saddam... he looked like Saddam while he was on trial. It was really distracting to look over in the middle of a poem to see Saddam Hussein cracking his knuckles and chewing on his moustache and laughing at Billy Collins. It makes me sound insane, but I kept doing double takes all night.



So. New orchid. Billy Collins. New book. Home alone. Sick. Bored. Discovery Channel. Work at 5:30.
Awesome.

It's so corny, but my boyfriend is so amazing.

After a HORRIBLE night at work (cranky customers, steaks cooked wrong, bad tips, etc.etc.) I go over to Jordan's to take him the cake I'd gotten him. He met me at the door with a rose and a Coke (which he put in the freezer like I always do so it was all slushy), and we watched this movie from Jordan's boyhood called "The Rocketeer" and ate cake.

It made my whole shitty night so much better.