I fucking hate him.

--I realised today that I am a control freak, and if someone isn't where they're supposed to be I go crazy and ask a billion and one questions as to the reason why they're not where they're meant to be and when they're gonna be home and who they're with and why did you choose to go out instead of sitting in and doing nothing? I suck =(

--I realised that I need to start being a proper girlfriend. 18 months and I've done pretty much nothing for him. The guy that makes me laugh and cry and all fuzzy inside when I'm with him. Eighteen months. At the start it was talking on the phone and over IMs every day and night. After 18 months you kinda run out of things to say after an hour or so. Give him space for christs sake. You know he loves you but just let him carry on.

--I finally realised I love Jason Mraz. Okay. I know, crazy, but hey, I realised it today, so I can post it!! =)

--I don't have many friends, but the ones that I do have are amazing. So what if sometimes they actually have to do work? I could be doing it at the same time.

--I'm not as good with music as I thought I was. And I wish I was.

--I REALLY need to tidy my room.

--I do kinda like this place. It's just finding the thing to do is all, whether it's sit on the beach all day with a book or down the pool hall hanging out or just watching tv with the odd person every now and again. I can find something to do if I put my mind to it.

--I realised that long distance relationships aren't always what they're cracked up to be. If I want him to want to speak to me, I have to make him want to speak to me. So I have to lay off of him.

--I hope he realises that I do still love him. No Matter What.

--I'm at university for a reason. To work, to meet people and have as much fun as possible. It's hard to start when you didn't start from the beginning, so, I guess this time's as good as any.

Wow... Long time no update huh?

No particular reason, I guess I've just been spending my christmas break how I want to.

back at uni now anyway for a few months until Easter.

Of course I'm going to miss a certain someone, but I realised now that he's opened my eyes and that I should always have the world at my feet. Do anything I want to do.
( Ramblings, cut for sickly romanticismCollapse )

In other news. I came back to Uni last night, as said. We went out. I woke up with a hangover. Ouch. two pitchers of Vodka and Red Bull. I had four hours sleep, got up thinking I could feel better about 8:30 this morning, then just CRASHED and woke up about half an hour ago. Eep!
Uhm...Also, coming back, I didn't realise how many people actually missed me. Chris, a guy on my course and who lives with my housemates boyfriend (when he's not at my house!) came over to me in Vivaz last night, came up to me from behind, gave me a massive hug and said "GOD I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!"
...Then ran off to a moshpit of Andrew WK.
..He also left with a girl I think...w00t! =P

I feel, so used, abused and a complete and utter fool.

Thankyou.


All in all??

This christmas sucked.

I don't have a life apparently.

Anyone want to help me solve this problem??

I'll be willing to travel far and wide to new far-away places just so I can have a life.

If anyone's bored over the new year before the 20th January, gimme a bell and I'll attempt to spend a couple of days with anyone and everyone, especially those whom I haven't seen in aaages.

For those on my Myspace, this will be posted on there too via a bulletin =)

How sudden and unexpected.


It's so weird. Frankie and I were only watching Crocodile Hunter Diaries on tv yesterday morning.

Right

Drama and Theatre Studies: D
French: D
Music: B


I needed a B and two C's to get into Scarborough.
I drove all the way to Warwick to pick them up and see some old mates who weren't there. They'd already gone and got their results.

I cried in the car on the way home thinking "I'm not getting into Scarborough now, I really am not at all".


I get home...

BAM!

There's two letters of Confirmation saying "Go to Scarborough...or die."

So....I'm a bit happy right now. Kinda....shaking from excitement.

I'm the FIRST ONE on my mum's side of the family to go to university.
Jesus....I'm so excited.

Okay, so, I'm a month into my uber long summer.

I remember last year I was thinking "I'm gonna have a shit time, I'm gonna be inside on the computer all day" etc etc. Instead, I was playing Xbox live and I met the nicest group of guys anyone could ever meet. I said at the end of it that I had a great time.


I just listened to It's Been A Summer by New Found Glory, and I just thought:


My summer's been amazing already. I've met some amazing people, had some amazing times, and done some things I never thought I'd do. (Play fag [cigarette] packet football on a roundabout for one thing).

So. I just thought I'd like to say this;


Thankyou to those of you who have made my summer amazing, and thankyou to those of you who will help me have the best summer ever. I'll never forget it.

OMG.

My cough is even worse. I'm coughing and weezing, and I can't sleep.


I have to work tomorrow and I can hardly take a breath without my lungs trying to escape through my mouth.

And?? I still miss Frankie =(