there are the thoughts, the ones that won't stop. the faces and the conversations that flash through your mind at 2AM, taunting you with what you should have said, what you would have said, if only you weren't taken so off guard.
there are your legs, your arms, they won't stay still. they feel like they are waking up. you would like to, if only this were a dream. you have to move them. you itch all over.
then there's your heart. the faces hurt. the thoughts hurt. it's going to stop soon. you heart will stop soon if you don't sleep.
the dark pokes fun at you, making you close your eyes out of instinct. the bed is soft, you are warm, your eyes burn with the need to shut. you tell yourself you're finally tired, you will finally go to sleep now. you will not. it's just the night, making you believe what isn't true; the night is everyone else, telling you a lie. you believe it because it has been so long since you slept. you really are tired. you want to believe it.
finally you drift off, believe the lie until it's true. only five minutes later, when you wake up to someone unsympathetic, you should not have listened to the night. you should have waited, stayed up and fought the faces, the thoughts, the itching to do what you should have done already. waited for the day and it's own lies. because now tonight will be worse; your face is being splashed with cold water. you believed the lie too long.