nerves.

so 1/4 of my belongings are in boxes. 1/4 is an estimate, seeing as i'm fairly sure most of everything i own is under my bed. i'm terrified of going under there for fear of finding a living colony of things. i'm gross.

i feel like everything is moving along faster than i thought it would. this time next week i'll be living on my own, and that terrifies me. i didn't go to college, so i never moved away. i've lived in the same house for 20 years now, and i'm not used to not being here. as much as i bitch about my parents, and as much as i bitch about having no space of my own, i'll miss living here. i like my room. i like that things magically appear when i run out of them. i've never had to buy things that weren't necessary before. i've never really had to cook for myself. this whole thing is very overwhelming for me, and i know i'm 23 and should be totally living by myself by now anyways, but still.

i'm not good with change even when i know i should do it. i'm hoping i can do this and not fuck it up like i generally do.