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good morning. [Saturday, November 21st, 2009 at 3:50pm] good morning Originally uploaded by atomscollide Summer seems so far away now. It's growing colder and my skin shrinks tight to keep in the little heat I have left. Too many things have come & gone for me to even start trying to pick up the pieces & jot them all down here. Things keep on going, so it goes. Don't be another brick in the wall. Take some solace in knowing that you are not alone. Remember to live in the moment without blowing off the future. Heed memories of the past but do not let them restrict you from your future. Life is too short to be spent on trivial matters, unless its over a couple beers after class. Being 21 isn't a birthright but it is a rite of passage. Smoke often, drink on occasion and giggle every step of the way. Once again, there is only one way for me to go from here. If every angels terrible, then why do you welcome them? Kayla

2 am [Saturday, March 8th, 2008 at 2:51pm] [ music | portishead ] i sewed a heart of pink fleece & i filled it with cotton from all the creatures of lands before time. so delicate and soft it filled my little heart with glee strong enough for squeezes but sensitive enough to love i held it safely for over 400 miles to bring it to you in orange county. i knew you would take good care of it your hands so soft, and graceful cradled it on the long walk home you didn't say a word. i really did sew a heart made of pink fleece, but i never gave it away. i wasn't sure you would take it when i saw you. i decided to give it to you the next time i saw you. i still haven't, its been two months. when we spoke on the phone it was hard to hear, and you sounded busy, i felt bad for keeping you, but secretly angry because i feel as if im in this all alone here. maybe i am. you tell me not to worry and that you'll be seeing me soon and i believe you. i've been hearing the same song on repeat and its starting to drive me crazy. well, not too crazy, but im unhappy without you here. i just keep being dragged behind a boat, the other day i saw a shark, and it bit its lover, straight in the eye. actually my friends have been fighting, two in particular, with each other, who are dating. it was a pretty intense night for us all. i just don't know what to do now, so i guess i'll keep hanging around, rubbing at your ankles, aching to be petted like a small cat. i think i've gone far too far with the imagery. this sounds like shit now & i really want to delete it but i think its only because im stoned. fuck. i just don't know any other way to say the opposite of i hate you. oh this uncertainty is taking me over, kayla

winter [Sunday, December 23rd, 2007 at 1:19pm] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | MY IPOD GOT STOLEN ] Winter sucks. Or actually it doesn't suck too bad, yet. At least i'm seeing the mars volta in san francisco on new years eve !!! Yes, everyone should do the same. Pretty much I've been working insane amounts for the past few weeks trying to make some decent money before I get too far into debt again. Shit, I need a new job. I'll also be in the LA area sometime i the not too distant future hopefully, & in the OC as well. I took some really great polaroids of my friend family in state area, pretty much the kids that all left me for the winter. I need to find some way to scan them so i can put them in some album online. I really miss Alicia. & Chris. but that goes without saying i guess. I hate being depressed, but its getting better everyday. I really should be showering right now but I dont feel like doing it. I also wish I was smoking a cig while writing this but my mom is eating a cheese omlette that smells BOMB. So I guess I'm gonna go sell some weed, sweet.  Adam & Alicia are the shadows, me & chris are holding hands.Yellow ! Morales & I sometime over the summer at Pop Noir Yeah, just chillin in bonita on to of a dam thats filled with graf art. This is why everyone needs to visit my home at least once. Seventies-surf-rock-type music RULES !, Kayla

Rebirth [Monday, October 1st, 2007 at 10:16am] [ mood | listless ] Since the last time I've thought about this whole online living journal thing I've had far too many intensely fun weekends, drug binges, and roller coaster rides to remember the half of it. So perhaps one day i'll pick this thing up again when I actually have free time (like now) to waste on typing thoughts and moments about my life to pretty much no audience besides myself. If anyone happens to still be my friend &  enjoy reading perhaps i will continue, otherwise i'll just post random shit whenever i feel like killing time at the library. Also I really like my profile picture from like 2 years ago, it came out really sweet. I look different so someday maybe i'll finally put up a picture of something cool. Maybe. Whatever my mind is running slow & theres still green pill coming out of my nose. Go ask Alice, I think she'll know, Kayla

[Thursday, November 18th, 2004 at 8:45pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Modest Mouse-Dramamine ] ( !!! )

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