Where is your boyfriend/girlfriend at the moment? Umm.. he/she doesn't exist... soooo....
What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably an alcoholic beverage of some kind.
Did your last kiss mean anything? Certainly not!
Do you like tattoos and piercings? Do I *look* like a girl who likes piercings? Yes yes yes! I want to get a tat soon.
Are you in a good mood? Yes. The THC kind.
Do you want to have kids? If I find the right guy.
Miss someone? You know, every time this question is asked, I say yes b/c if you weren't missing someone before, this question reminds you of all the people you *should* or *could* be missing. And then you do. lol.
Do you believe in true love? No, but I do believe in good sex! I have to say, there is a very non-jaded, anti-skeptical part of me that does believe in true love. I think a part of everyone does believe it in their subconsious because they want it to be true.
Do you like to wear sweatpants? I do like sweats. I try to only wear them at home, though. They can look a little sloppy sometimes.
Have you ever stolen a sign from a street? No, but not from lack of trying! I *still* want Dick Street.
Do you miss your past? Right now, I can honestly say I don't. Wow.
Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Hell no! Maybe if I was suicidal or something. That's just asking for it, in my opinion.
Are you dating anyone right now? Nope. And that's the way I like it [for now, at least]..
Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Probably. Lia and I do it all the time, just randomly to each other without thinking. lol. This started with Ali in college, I think. Damn.. talk about missing someone! Fucking Ohio.
Did you speak to your father today? No, and even if I did, it would have to be telepathically, because he has "passed on" [I HATE that term, so gay!] to that big ol karaoke bar in the sky. lol. I'm not laughing at the circumstances, I'm laughing at my karaoke comment. Whatever, you know.
When was the last time you cleaned your room? ...... Before xmas, I think... *ducks*
Have you lost friends in the past year? Ali went to Ohio and Kaitlyn went to South Carolina. I didn't lose any on account of my craziness, thank you!
If you could change your eye color what would it be? I always liked green eyes. My mom has beautiful hazel eyes, and I got my dad's crappy, ordinary [but beautiful all the same] brown eyes.
When was the last time you hugged someone? Probably last night?
Who was the last person that made you laugh? Kris, when he said Kevin Corrigan is "one of those people who doesn't look like he likes to be approached on the street" or some shit like that. lol.
Do you dance in the car? Yeah, everyone does, right? You kinda do that little bounce when your jam comes on? Or is this just an erin thing?
What is your favorite color? Purple; so much so, that when I was young I vowed to name my firstborn girl Violet. I shit you not.
How is your hair? Slept on but still cute, I guess.
What is the last thing you said aloud? Don't remember. Sorry. It was probably some little gem that you'll never know now. lol.
Has your mom bought anything in the past 24 hours? I think she got flowers, but she might've just browsed and not found anything.
Do you believe in love at first sight? No, because [at least I think] you cant base love on looks alone. Lust, definatley. The person who coined that term meant lust, totally. Apparently whoever said that never dated a very hot but vapid guy [or gal] in their lifetime.
Are you allowed to eat in your room? Hah! I'm 22 years old. What do *you* think? Some middle school kid probably made this survey. lol.
Who starred in the last movie you watched? Sean Penn. It was Milk and it was AWESOME.
How many texts do you send a day, on average? Probably 5 at the most.
Can you do the splits? "The splits"; it sounds forigen. lol. Right one. Left and middle, no way, dude. Not happening.
How many kids do you want in the future? 4, maybe less.
What was the last thing you ate? French Toast that my Mom made for Lia this morning cuz she's totally the best mother ever.
Do you wear hats? If it's cold or my hair isn't obeying. lol.
What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Dr. Pepper ftw! NOT root beer, although for some reason when you work in food services they tell you to offer root beer if there's no DP, which is like apples & oranges, imo. When I worked at CineMark I had a dude flip out at me for offering root beer. "I'm like a Dr. Pepper CONNESIUR [sp?]! Beleive me, it's NOTHING like root beer!" And I'm like, "Dude, I totally agree. My boss just told me to do this."
If you could have a $1,000 shopping spree to any clothing store, which would you choose? H & M, Delia's, or Wet Seal. Pick one. They're all basically the same.
What were you last complimented on? I don't remember, but I'm told a lot that I have a great smile, which is ironic b/c I hate the way I look when I smile. That's the definition of irony, right? Alannis Morrisette has all of North America screwed on that one. Mouth/chin too big, eyes too small.
Do you know a Michael? I knew like, a zillion in my lifetime & I'm only 22!
What about a Shane? Only one. I've always loved that name, though.
What is your favorite breakfast food? I can't eat breakfast. I"m one of those people that can hardly look at food in the morning. But to answer the question, probably pancakes.
Do you know anybody with a septum piercing? I know a few.
Would you rather pierce your lip or tongue? I already have my tounge pierced, so I'm gonna have to go with that one. lol.
Did you have a good dream two nights ago? I can't remember two minutes ago; you want me to remember a dream from two nights ago!
Do you like ketchup on top of your fries or separate? seperate. And vinegar is better on fries than ketchup.
What is your favorite thing to spread on toast? Peanut butter. It's really good; it melts and shit.
Have you ever been in a wedding? My mom & dad's vow renewal [is that what they're called?]. Lia & I were the flower girls in our little burgundy velvet dresses.. So cute!
What did you last staple? Ummmmmmmmm.. paper..? Do people staple anything else? Oh, yeah, like roof tiles and shit. Ooops. Well, it's paper, whatever. lol.
Not to get all emo on ya, but I think it took me 22 years to learn what "heartsick" really means. Damn. Sometimes there's nothing better than being in love, but sometimes there's nothing worse.
WHERE DO YOU WORK? I'm unployed and it's really getting old [I never I'd be that person, but I am]
ARE YOU MARRIED/ENGAGED? Neither and never plan to be.
DO YOU ENJOY READING OR WATCHING TV MORE? I'm gonna say both because, really, isn't reading like watching a movie in your head anyway?
DO YOU ATTEND SCHOOL? Nope. But that's not to say I've been uneducated since high school ended. I attended college, then beauty school, but dropped out of both because I'm a damn quitter.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Yep. Two shih tzus, Crimson & Clover. I love them like a mother loves her children. lol.
DO YOU HAVE A SECRET CRUSH? I always do..
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE WHAT DID YOU DREAM ABOUT BEING WHEN YOU GREW UP? A comedian [Then realized I wasn't "funny", per se].
WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE/BOOK? All time favorite? Shit that's hard. Ummm.. movie: The Virgin Suicides book: Middlesex [the irony here is that they're both written by the same guy].
FAVORITE COLOR? Purple
FAVORITE NON/ALCOHOL DRINK? Dr. Pepper. Or XXX Vitamin Water [that's the actual name of the flavor].
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE? This usually makes people wanna vomit, but I can drink anything as long as it has alcohol in it and I know it will get me drunk. In college I used to mix all kinds of shit together; it was like a party trick after a while [beer, vodka and soda comes to mind here]. But if I'm in a bar I'll get a Jumpin Jack Flash [Red Bull and whiskey. No, I'm not kidding. lol].
FAVORITE TV SHOW? Right now I'm really into Tim and Eric. I don't know how anyone can hate these two [but a lot of people do]. I seriously bust a gut every time I watch.
FAVORITE SONG? Depends on my mood and who I'm into at the time, but I'd have to say my all time favorite is Light My Fire by The Doors. Loved that shit since I was a kid. The organ is so fun.
FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese food. I seriously believe I could eat it every day of my life, of course It'd be a short one; I'd be dead by 30 from high cholesterol.
FAVORITE CANDY? Gummies, Red Vines, Sour Patch Kids.
FAVORITE FRUIT? Blueberries, Raspberries, any berries really.
FAVORITE VEGETABLE? All of them. I was always that weird kid that cleaned her plate of the veggies but had to be bribed to eat the meat.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS? Stay in and chill or go out and get rowdy. Just like the rest of the world.. lol.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Guns [I get panic attacks when I'm near cops when they have guns on their holsters (is that what they're called or am I making this up? lol) Bees. Even those fat hairy bumblebees that everyone says can't hurt you. I'm a real pussy when it comes to bees. Lia knows this. lol.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? Wishing I could fall back asleep cuz my allergies have me all stuffed up. I swear I could be locked in a room with no windows for a year and still know it was spring cuz I could not leave the house for a week and still have all the symptoms [How's that for a run on sentence? And did I use 'still' enough?]. I seriously sound like Eartha Kitt [sp?] right now. Or a drag queen for that matter.
WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING? Woke up during a particularly awesome dream [the sexual kind] because Lia's alarm was going off and she slept in the living room last night. Dude, I was beyond pissed.
WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF? Ugh. Ask me at another time in my life. Or maybe in my next life, the way things are going.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF THIS COUNTRY? No. Lia and I were going to go to Quebec to see the Kids in the Hall, but the wrath of Mollie ensued.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING YOU NOW REGRET? This question is in every survey I've done, I swear. lol. No, I don't regret anything I've ever done because at the time it was what felt right. Have I ever SAID anything I regret? Now that's a different story. I tend to speak my mind, even when I really shouldn't.
Oh, wow. It did work. No fucking way. Very cool. I hope it lasts. It would be a shame to lose all that old shit, but there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm gonna take the time to print all that. lol. It's really funny how much my life has changed since then. All the drama. It's bittersweet in retrospect to read it. So many memories. I miss those times so much. College was awesome [despite the fact that I didn't finish]. All the Empire [Beauty School] shit is in there too. The not-so-good times. lol. I did have some pretty sweet times with Lindsay, though. She was a trip. Always fun. We just didn't belong there; we were the true definition of Square Pegs [in a round hole]. It was like Them and Us, you know? We couldn't fit in with all those divas.
Wow. I was just reading my old blog [before this one, then I kinda merged them, but gj got all fucky and I could only use this one], and it literally made my heart hurt. I was so... YOUNG! It was October of my freshman year of college [04], so it's so.. idk. It's like, I feel like I can advise that person now, you know? Like, I grew up. I was all going on about my crush on Dom and afraid that Holly was going to steal Ali and shit. My life seems so simple now. But I guess that's what happens when you grow up. And it was only 4 years ago, but it feels like a lifetime. I'm thinking the link won't post, but I'll give it the old [ugh, excuse the pun] college try.
The first one is from 1/19 [had it posted already but it fucking erased on moi]. The second one is from just now.
1.
Name and middle name? Erin Marie [I always hated Marie. It's everyone's middle name, I swear]
2.
What holiday is your birthday closest to? It's in May, so either St. Patty's Day or the 4th. It's a toss up cuz I'm too lazy to count.
3.
Favorite flavored Pie? Cherry
4.
Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they dont? Nah. Unless it was something REALLY important
5.
Are you allergic to anything? Hmmm... Apples, cats, pollen,.. I know there's more I just cant think of 'em.
6.
Is there something special you want for Christmas? Yeah, but I'll have to wait 11 more months. =[
7.
When was the last time you went swimming? April of last year when Kris & his dad were at some hotel.
8.
Do you like chesecake? Sometimes. I really have to be in the mood for it.
9. How many of the U.S.
states have you lived in? Washington every now and again as a kid [My dad had an apartment there] & of course PA.
10.
Have you traveled outside the country? Nope. Homegirl is sheltered.
11.
Do you keep a planner or calendar with daily events? I actually need to get a new planner! Thanks for reminding me!
12.
Does anyone like you? Idk. Someone always does. And I think they're fucking crazy to like me.
13.
Do you have any strange pets? Nope, just two Shih Tzus [the name is weird though, ehnna?]
14.
What is your dream car? Trans Am, any color. I'm a muscle car kinda gal.
15.
What did you do today? Whole lotta nada. lol.
16.
Are you bipolar? I think *everyone* is Bi Polar. It's called LIFE. You're gonna have highs and you're gonna have lows.
17.
What is the main ringtone on your cell? American Boy
18.
Where would you want to go on a first date? Anywhere. I don't care where, as long as we could people watch. I love that shit.
19.
When is the last time you were hugged? Last night, I think...?
20.
Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Idk... I don't think so...
21.
How important is romance? very
22.
Have you ever bungee jumped? No, but a little part of me wants to.
23.
Have you ever been white water rafting? No way. I'm a wimpy little bitch, plus I'm not a strong swimmer.
24.
Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yep. Good old Dave "The picture didn't take" Foley. And my 11th grade history teacher asked me on a date. Several times. I shit you not.
25.
Are you a cavity free kid? I used to be. I didn't have a cavity untill I was 21.
26.
Are you an extreme racist? What's the difference between a "rasist" and an "Extreme rasist"? That sounds like the punchline to a joke. But no. I never understood that shit. Assholes come in all colors.
27.
What song are you listening to right now? none.
Scarecrow by Beck
28.
What is your favorite song at the moment? Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry
29.
What was the last movie you watched? Hmmm.... I think a Lifetime Movie. lol.
30.
Where was the last house you went besides your house? Aunt Lia's
31.
Have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property? Again with the adjectives and adverbs! I don't know if I "Seriously vandalized", but I have written my name in school books, school desks, bathroom walls, once a wooden cabinet in college, a bench, a railing, you name it, if I was bored I probably "autographed" it.
32.
Have you ever been punched? Like, in the arm and shit, yeah. Never in the face. Ther'ed be hell to pay. I'm little, but I'm a big ball of feisty anger when you piss me off. I'm like... A monkey on coke. I just literally loled.
33.
Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I'm not about one feature, I focous on the face as a whole. Oh, and hands are a big deal. If you have sausage fingers, forget it. A nice ass helps, too. ;)
34.
Can you open a beer bottle with a body part other than your hand? Probably with my teeth if I was willing to break them.. lol. I was once at a party in high school when I cracked a beer open with my teeth. The guys were all, "Atta girl!" And one girl was like, "You're a beast!" I was like, "Uh, yeah. I didn't want to break a nail." And I didn't. They cost $20.
35.
What do you usually order from Olive Garden? The scallops, and then I dip the breadsticks in the sause. Soooo good. I didn't think I was hungry, but now I'm not so sure. lol.
36.
Say something totally random about yourself? I am a hot dog.
37.
Do you have an mp3 player? No. I still don't understand them. It's like, an imitation iPod, right? [OMG I just felt so old]
38.
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? no
39.
Do you have freckles? yes
40.
Are you comfortable with your height? I'm short in stature, but I make up for it in other ways. God, that sounded dirty. It wasn't supposed to, I swear!
41.
Do you love someone? I love a lot of people...
42.
How tall are you? 5'1 [although my driver's licence says 5'0]
43.
Do you speak any other language other than English? Si. Me abla [some] espanol. I learned German in Highschool, but it was like, in one ear and out the other. I do remember some words, though.
44.
How do you like your steak cooked? Rare. Go ahead, say eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!
45.
Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Dad, Gram, Pop, & my cousin Erik who was only 19. = [ He was hit by a drunk driver.
46.
Do you watch MTV? Sometimes I'll watch Made or True Life. Otherwise, no.
47.
What is something that really annoys you? predijuice [sp?] of any kind. I's so un-nessesary [ I know I spelled that wrong, I'm not fixing it. lol.], Subsituting k's for c's to be "kute" is so douchebaggy. lol.
48.
Have you talked with your parents about the birds and the bees? lol. Are you asking if I informed them? That's what it sounds like. My mom was always open about that stuff, but once we hit 16 she got all weird and embarassed.
49.
What is the best thing in your refrigerator right now? There's not much in there.. lol. I guess hot sauce. I put it on everything.
50.
When is the last time you had professional pictures taken? Umm... in Beauty School they had Glamour Shots come and the guy was SUCH an annoying perv. I ought to put those pics up. They are the cheesiest pictures in the world's history [There's one with a blue boa and also one with a leather jacket! Sooo ugly!]
51.
Do you have a crush on someone? Yep yep. I always do.
52.
Does that person like you back? No idea.
53.
Do you drive when you go on long trips? Nope. My mom would cut her arm off first.
54.
Whats the latest you have ever stayed out? Umm.. after graduation we went to a cabin and didn't leave till 12 pm ish the next day.
55.
Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? I don't think so. Of embarassment? Hell yes.
56.
Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yep. When I was 8 @ Girl Scout camp and was running and went to leap over a puddle by the pool. My ankle caught the end of the puddle and I fell right on my back. I mostly remeber the oxygen nose plug thingie. It felt so cool.
57.
Have you broken a bone or had stitches? Both on the same occasion. Broke, dislocated & twisted my left elbow and had surgery when I was 14. I Know I already went over this in other surveys, so see my blog if you really care that much. lol.
58.
Anyone on your mind right now? Does food count? lol.
59.
What color is your hair? "Copper Shimmer" to be exact. But dirty blonde naturally.
60.
What did you do last night? Went to WalMart with my mom and ran into one of my bff's that I haven't seen since I think November.
What was your first alcoholic beverage of 2009? Umm.. pink champagne I think..
Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail? Not killing, just.. hurting pretty bad.. lol.
If you married the last person in your text inbox, what would your last name be? Wtf's a text inbox? [ugh, I feel so olllllllllld]
Have you ever peed while on the phone? come on who hasnt!! [Keeping Alicia's answer]
Have you ever been on a blind date? Yeah. I don't remember the kid's name, but I do remember that I went w/ one of my college girlies [Holly] and that it was goooood food! Red Lobster = yum.
Have you dated anyone on your top.
Yep
Do you sleep on your stomach? Yeah. And on my side. And on my back. lol.
Have you ever broken someone's heart? Lots. Ugh, that sounded bad, ehnna? But yeah. Everyone has, I think.
Next time you will kiss someone? Prob tomorrow morning b4 Lee leaves for work.
Last time you kissed someone? Probably sometime today.
Have you ever injected a drug? No sir.
Last time you talked to your number one friend? Prob an hour ago.
Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Story of my life.
Do you currently hate someone? Actually, no. Which is really weird, cuz I have a bit of a temper. Hate takes too much out of a person, I think.
Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move? No. *knocks wood*
Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Oh, I'm sure I have.
What were you doing at 9 this morning? Sleeping like a little baby.
How's your heart? It's pumping. lol.
How do you feel about your hair right now? Needs to be cut.
Do you get drunk every weekend? No, but I probably get high every weekend. *--*
Anyone you're giving up on? Naw, I'm pretty easy going about shit.
Do you care what people think about you? Sometimes, but the majority of the time, I really don't.
Is anything bugging you right now? Nope. No worry, beef curry.
Do you have a best friend? I have a few <3
What's something you really want right now? A boy toy. lol. And some cashola.
Are you going anywhere for the next summer? Too early to tell.
Last place you went out to eat? Who with? hmmm... Damn. Get back to me on that one! lol.
Are you worried about your love life for any reason? 'Tis nonexistant, so that's a big noperz.
What were you doing last night at 10? Hmmm.. either on this big electrical box here or watching the tube.
What are you doing tomorrow? Hopefully going to the bar, or anywhere with alcoholic beverages. I'm waaaaay overdue.
Are you in a good mood? Yep yep.
Who was the last person to hurt you? .......
Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? Yeah, but I'm more about the lol's and rotfl's and all that junk.
Do you believe what goes around comes around? Sometimes. I *hope* it's true.
Do you have any bruises on you? A couple nicks on my legs from the ol razor.
Do you know anyone that wants you dead? Yikes! Hell no! [At least I hope not!]
When was the last time you had a massage? Not very recently. Maybe a couple months ago. I always give Lia one, and she says she will, but never quite gets to it. *cuts eyes @ Lia*
Are you easily scared by horror movie? I usually find them funny. Good ones are hard to find.
What is your favorite fruit? blueberries
Have you ever had a black and white cat? Never had a cat, period. I did have a dalmation, though, when I was younger.
How old do you look? umm ... Folks usually take me for about 16 - 18. I think I look my age, though, however delusional that is. lol.
Anything you want right now? We already went over this. A guy and some dough, I said! GOD! lol.
Do you have your eye on anyone? All the unattainable people.
Where did you last sleep? My beddy bye.
What were you doing at midnight last night? This or TV. lol. Another repetitive question.
What time did you go to bed last night? This morning. 6 AM. I shit you not.
Will next Friday be a good one? It's today, so I hope so!
Do you know anyone who has messed up your life? Not really people so much as situations.
Is it worth crying over a guy/girl? Fuck them and move on. If they don't love you, why bother?
Do you sleep with the door open or closed? Closed. And pitch black.
Are you good at hiding your feelings? I would like to be an actress. Does that tell you anything?
Do you like to cuddle? Yeah and no. Sometimes I just wanna sleep.
How do you feel about change? Oohh. Not Good. I'm a Taurus, we hate change.
What are you listening to? The Way We Get By by Spoon
Do you say sexy a lot? Not really. I do use the word "hot" a lot.
Are you typically a jealous person? Meh. Sometimes. But generally, no.
Have you ever been punched by the opposite sex? Like in the arm and shit. Not punched punched.
Do you believe ex's can be friends? Yep. If you work at it.
How many hours did you sleep last night? Today. 10.
Have you ever gotten in a drunken fight? I prefer 'drunken brawl'. It sounds better. And yes. Pre gaming + keg prices per person = erin almost fucking up a gal twice her size and three times her girth.
Do you know anyone who's gay? Do some people actually NOT this day and age?
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Abso fucking lutely. Quicker than you can say "Fucking Dave Foley in the Rivoli in the mid 80's." Yes. Sir. I'd be a groupie extrodinare.
Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in. Twas a "school night" for Miss Lia.
What drink did you last consume? Dr. Pepper.
Do you like wine? "Like" isn't the word. Try "wino". That's me! I used to drink whole bottles in high school and college. Tisk tisk.
They actually have the frigging option to make the posting date 1981. Why? I'm just speechless on that one. lol. So dumb.
Ok, now for the real rant [well, it's not a rant, per-se, just... an observation?]. I'm listening to the album Guero by Beck, which I haven't listened to since, like '05 when I got it. Maybe '06. Whatev. So I'm listening to the song "Farewell Ride" and the chorus lyrics are as follows: "Some may say this might be your last farewell ride.."
Well. If it's your farewell ride, isn't that final? Like you only get one? The "last hoorah" as they say. So how can it possibly be your last one? That would mean there was a first one, and maybe even a second one, yeah? Oh well. I've definitetly heard Beck lyrics that made less sense, though ["Shaving your face with mace in the dark" comes to mind here. That was always one of my personal faves, btw]. And while we're on the subject, how funny is the word farewell when you see it/write it for a while? It's literally faring someone well. I never thought of that. Huh.
Just so you know, I'm not high, I swear. lol. I've probably said more intellegent things when I'm high than the above. I'm really sleep deprived. TWICE this week, fucking twice I thought there was someone in the house. The first time was Sat morning, when I swear I heard a guy's voice clear as day whispering to someone. So of course, I started freaking out. My heart was racing so fast I literally felt like I was bouncing against the mattress. My eyes are frantically fluttering from fear ["Erin Kelley! Alliterations are your forte!" -Ms. O'Shea], but I figured the guy would write it off as rem sleep. I'm trying not to panic, cuz you know how they say when you're panicked you make stupid mistakes. Long story short, after a panic attack and a half a gallon of tears, 'twas nothing. Think the same thing for last night, only no tears.
My throat's so sore. I hope the hell I'm not getting sick. That would suck, but hey- 'tis life. 'Tis what 'tis. lol. I hope I'm using that in the right context. I'm pretty sure I am. It's olde [note the 'e'] English for 'it is', right? You can bet this geek is going to look it up on dictionary.com. Such an exciting life I lead. It's enough to make your head spin. Wait- 'Tis enough to make your head spin. Ugh. Sorry about that. I just made myself cringe with that one.
Yeah. This is what happens when Lia is sleeping and my mom is all engrossed in MSNBC to the point of shushing me and I just want to gab and blab. I guess this is when normal people would pick up the phone. Not me. I'm way to A.D.D. for that shit. My attention span is bad enough already, add to that not even being able to see the person's face, and I'm on my own planet. It makes keeping friendships really hard, but no one can have a two minute conversation, I don't care who you are. I have guy friends that keep me on the phone forever. Idk. I'm weird. It's such a non girlish [the stereotype of girls, that is] trait. "A girl who doesn't like to talk on the phone for hours on end?" Yep. You're looking at her, pal. Well, reading... her. Whatev.
And if you read this whole boring blog of bullshit [there's that alliteration again!], you win the prize.They actually have the frigging option to make the posting date 1981. Why? I'm just speechless on that one. lol. So dumb.
Ok, now for the real rant [well, it's not a rant, per-se, just... an observation?]. I'm listening to the album Guero by Beck, which I haven't listened to since, like '05 when I got it. Maybe '06. Whatev. So I'm listening to the song "Farewell Ride" and the chorus lyrics are as follows: "Some may say this might be your last farewell ride.."
Well. If it's your farewell ride, isn't that final? Like you only get one? The "last hoorah" as they say. So how can it possibly be your last one? That would mean there was a first one, and maybe even a second one, yeah? Oh well. I've definitetly heard Beck lyrics that made less sense, though ["Shaving your face with mace in the dark" comes to mind here. That was always one of my personal faves, btw]. And while we're on the subject, how funny is the word farewell when you see it/write it for a while? It's literally faring someone well. I never thought of that. Huh.
Just so you know, I'm not high, I swear. lol. I've probably said more intellegent things when I'm high than the above. I'm really sleep deprived. TWICE this week, fucking twice I thought there was someone in the house. The first time was Sat morning, when I swear I heard a guy's voice clear as day whispering to someone. So of course, I started freaking out. My heart was racing so fast I literally felt like I was bouncing against the mattress. My eyes are frantically fluttering from fear ["Erin Kelley! Alliterations are your forte!" -Ms. O'Shea], but I figured the guy would write it off as rem sleep. I'm trying not to panic, cuz you know how they say when you're panicked you make stupid mistakes. Long story short, after a panic attack and a half a gallon of tears, 'twas nothing. Think the same thing for last night, only no tears.
My throat's so sore. I hope the hell I'm not getting sick. That would suck, but hey- 'tis life. 'Tis what 'tis. lol. I hope I'm using that in the right context. I'm pretty sure I am. It's olde [note the 'e'] English for 'it is', right? You can bet this geek is going to look it up on dictionary.com. Such an exciting life I lead. It's enough to make your head spin. Wait- 'Tis enough to make your head spin. Ugh. Sorry about that. I just made myself cringe with that one.
Yeah. This is what happens when Lia is sleeping and my mom is all engrossed in MSNBC to the point of shushing me and I just want to gab and blab. I guess this is when normal people would pick up the phone. Not me. I'm way to A.D.D. for that shit. My attention span is bad enough already, add to that not even being able to see the person's face, and I'm on my own planet. It makes keeping friendships really hard, but no one can have a two minute conversation, I don't care who you are. I have guy friends that keep me on the phone forever. Idk. I'm weird. It's such a non girlish [the stereotype of girls, that is] trait. "A girl who doesn't like to talk on the phone for hours on end?" Yep. You're looking at her, pal. Well, reading... her. Whatev.
And if you read this whole boring blog of bullshit [there's that alliteration again!], you win the prize.
EDIT: I had just turned 21. it wasn't as long as I thought, but still pretty long. I was reading through and figured I'd mention I did fix my Ipod. Myself. I left it outside on a nice summer day/ night, and suddenly- success! I also dyed my bang since then. I actually just got it done this summer. I got the bang bleached and the tips on the bottom right side bleached, too. It looks quite cute if I say so myself. I haven't the slightest why I can't get the underline off. ANNOYING. Whatev. Deal with it. I just bought 3 tee shirts and 2 sweaters from Alloy [there was a clearance]. 60 bucks. My mom's gonna flip shit when she finds out [and she will, in 6 - 8 weeks or however long deliveries take]. Heh heh. Gulp. I mean, it *was* my money, but she always gets on me for being jobless, and the economy, and blah blah blah. Someeeeeebody needs a job. And fast.... But not too fast. lol.
Wanna hear something scary? The last time I wrote in here I had just turned 20 [I think..]. I'm now 22. Crazy, eh? I've been doing the whole Myspace blogging thing, but then I remembered this.
Let's see... What's changed since then? Obviously, I'm allowed into bars now and go to them frequently [but did you expect anything less of me?], I've had 2 jobs [temp secretary first, then Paint Your Art Out & Stuffin Bears (which is basically a ceramics store/ imitation Build A Bear).] I liked both [loved the latter] but I quit being a temp because I was smoking *way* too much pot [even by my standards. The boss smoked, and she allowed us to in the office.] and Paint Your Art Out closed [But might open again after Xmas]. As you can probably guess, I'm currently unemployed.
Oh- I dropped out of beauty school. Was that mentioned in the earlier enteries? It might've been. I just couldn't handle all the snobbery and bitchiness; it wasn't worth it. I'm thinking about going back, but money's pretty tight. I think I could handle it now, but I don't know if I have the patience to do it again, all the schooling involved. Let's face it, I'm not a classroom type of girl. It's why I couldn't hack college [besides the partying.. lol].
What else? Hmmmm... Ooooooh here's a biggie: on April 30th 2008, I went to see The Kids In The Hall, which was like, a lifelong dream for me & my sister. The show was awesome [of course!] and they hung out after and were as fun & funny as expected. The only downside was that they usually go to a bar after and like, party with their fans and shit, but they had a show the next day, so no luck. But yeah. I totally kissed David, even though he's all old and paunchy and shit. I still love him. My God- he was one of my first sexual fantasies; I have a soft spot for him. They're gonna be in Vegas in November. Lia and I are so trying to get there.
I'm still hanging out with the same people as I did then. No difference there; still love the hell out of each and every one of them. Lia and Kris broke up, but he is still one of our best friends. He's working at ABC News now, I have no idea wtf he does there. lol. Chris Schwartz moved to Brooklyn and is currently pursuing his comedy career. Lia, Ali & Heather all work at daycares [albeit different ones.. lol], and Randy works for his brother at McCarthy Tire.
Well, tis all. I'm glad I updated. I hope you are too, whoever you are that's reading this right now.
Tomorrow at midnight I will be able to drink in a bar legally. A-frickin-mazing.
First, though, Lia's graduation. I'm really proud of her! Everyone says Keystone's grad cerimonies are super boring, though. Oh well. I must persist and sit through the whole entire [2 1/2 hr] cerimony. I know I'm spelling cerimony wrong. Guh. Idk. What an awful time not to have an Ipod, though. I was all, "I'll play the Ipod durring all the boring speeches," *imitating Dana Carvey imitating George Bush* Not ganna happen. I kinda sorta accidentally dropped it in the tub the other night. lol. Rawr. We went to Best Buy and the kid said to send it back and not mention water damage. I Googled it and they said to put it next to a fan for 24 hrs. I put it under a fan, but probably for only 5 hrs, then I got impatient and my room was getting really cold. rotfl. I'm thinking the blowdryer on cool might do the trick. My school blowdryer is wicked powerful; I'll try that one. If that doesn't do it, Idk what will.
Well, yeah. That's about all for now. I was also thinking they should start selling Jellies again [you know, the colored, jelly-like, see through ballet flats? Anyone remember?] They would look hella awesome with the stuff thats out now. I love the stayle now, the "emo" style, I guess.. The really long shirts and chunky beads and bermuda shorts and everything that's out. LOVE IT. Everything's so... Idk.. Mod, I guess. Tis nice.
Later crocodiles. [think I spelled that wrong, too. lol]
I'll be 21 in 17 days as of today!! Yayayayayayayayayayayyyy! I'm like a hyper idiot with no one home and no one to scream it to, so I decided to shout it from the rooftops [the "rooftops" being a shitty Myspace blog]. But, yeah. I'm dying here.
Lia and I laughed that when we go to the bar, they're going to ask for, like, 3 forms of ID. "Yeaaaaaaaah, I'm gonna have to see your birth ceterficate. Ok, do you have your Social Security card on hand?" Seriously, I wouldn't doubt it.
When we were 8, people used to come up to my mother and be like, "Awwwww, they're sooo cute! What are they, like five? I have a five year old that's about the same size." Yeah, maybe you have a huge 5 year old Baby Huey. But, not so.
I got really pissed when I was watching a show on Discovery Channel or something last summer on Sideshow Carnies [you know, the freaks at the carnival?] and found out that up untill the early 60's, premature babies were included in the roster. They make good money in those things. Plus, I could probably sue for emotional damage, right? Wow, if only I'd been born 2 decades earlier. I'd be set for life. I could open my *own* damn bar. Oh well, them's the breaks, folks.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I got the Ppl's court pics, too! Finally, right? [I'm the redhead in the black hat w/ my arms crossed. lmfao. My nose was so red. It was fucking FREEZING!]
3. I am allergic to: Apples, pollen, cats, lots of other shit I can't think of.
4. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: They have penises.
5. Three things I can never resist are: 1. My shows 2. A sale 3. Weed
6. A perfect kiss is: One that happens suddenly and catches you off guard.
7. The funniest quote I know is: Not funny funny, but cheesy funny: "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me".
8. The quote that sums it all up for me is: "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything".
9. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: It depends on the person. I find little quirks that I think are sexy in every guy I crush on.
10. This week I am: Counting down the days till my birthday [currently 27 if I'm counting right]
The thing I'm looking forward to most ... 11. Summer 12. The big 21 13. Lia graduating finally 14. Did I mention I'm going to be 21? lol
15. The person who I talk to most on the phone is: Ugh.. I hate the phone. Probably Lia when she's at school.
16. The person I had the longest relationship with: Matt Smith
17. The person I have been friends with the longest: Obviously Lia. But that doesn't count, right? Ok.. um, I guess Kaitlyn, since kindergarten.
18. The first person I thought/think I was/am in love with was/is: lol.. Never "love", only "deep like".
19. The one person who can't hide things from me: Lia and Ali cuz they both are horrible liars.
20. The person I find myself spilling my guts to is: Lia
21. Right now I'm talking to: Myself?
22. I have a job at: Nowheresville
23. I have these pets: 2 puppies, Crimson and Clover. They're like my sons. lol.
24. I wish I was: A paid actress. Imagine- getting paid to do something you love!
25. The worst sound in the world is: The scraping of a fork off someone's teeth. A lot of people actually do this whitout knowing. KILLS me.
26. The person that makes me cry the most is: My mom. lol. We fight like craaaazy.
27. The best shoulder to cry on is: I'm that person who likes to be alone when I cry, to wallow in self pity. lol.
28. I almost died when: [Literally] When I drove to NYC by myself. Apparently it's a hard drive. It was 2 days b4 my birthday, and everyone was saying, "Wow. It's a miracle you're even here!" Somehow, I found it to be a relaxing drive, though. Mostly highway.
29. My boy/girl friend is: An invisible pirate. He has a hook for a hand, which rocks, cuz he can hold my purse for me.
30. My favorite sport to play is: None. lol. Meh, I guess softball, although I sucked royally.
31. The last time I cried was: Roughly two weeks ago?
32. The school I went/go to is: I'm going back to Empire Beauty School, although I'd kill to go to the Academy. Empire bites the big one.
33. The last person I pissed off was: Um, I think Lia cuz she came out to get a drink and I was all pestering her to stay up with me [I'm a bad sister. She has to give a report tomorrow].
34. My worst drinking experience was: Oy. Everyone who knows me knows this answer. Bob's party after the semi senior year. I *funneled* vodka. 'Nuff said.
35. I lost all respect for people who: Treat other ppl like shit for no reason at all. That fucking bugs me.
36. My favorite phrases: Ummm.. I say "rawr" a lot for no reason. Oh, and the dreaded "dude" & "man", I use them A LOTTTT. And "hella", which I'm *hella* trying to stop. Idk where the fuck I picked it up!
37. My room is full of: Dirty clothes, posters a tv and two beds. lol. Pretty much sums up the whole room.
38. My favorite celebrity is: Maura Tierney. Gorgeus beyond belief. I am absolutely in love with her. And her voice. lol.
39. One person I miss talking to is: Fawne.
40. A nickname you haven't been called in awhile is: Erin Barron. My father used to call me it all the time. My mom still does ocasionally, but not lately.
I'm bored. Lia's working on her Head Start observation journal. Heather doesn't get out of work till 11, and she'll probably be too tired to go out. Maybe. I don't know.
I'm gonna do this cuz I'm hella bored.
1. List some things you'd like to say to 10 different people, but never will 2.Don't say who they are 3.Comment, but dont confirm/answer anything
1) I love you. I really do. I don't love you the way you wished I'd love you, but you are one of the only people I know I can count on in this world. You're always there for me and you helped me through a time in my life I thought I could never make friends again. I know the only reason you started talking to me was cuz you liked me, but I feel like our relationship evolved to a bond closer than lovers could *ever* have. You're someone I know will always bring a good time, and a good laugh. Sure, the times you get all lovey dovey fucking sucked, but I always remember the times with you as my best.
2) Whenever I'm around you lately, I constantly ask myself where I went wrong with you. I understand you think you're all emo or punk or whatever these days, but it doesn't mean you have to completely lose your spontaniety and sense of humor. That was what I loved most about being with you. We were so much the same and could make fun out of any situation. I loved that you treated me like a mentor; it made me feel SO good. I loved giving you information on things, I loved your curiosity. I loved that you used to be a good girl, and happy, and not so fucking "friends this, drinking that, boyfriend this, sex that,". I miss who you used to be. I feel like she died.
3) You made 10th grade hell for me. I always thought I could trust you because we were "best friends" for so long, but then you start drinking and because I didn't, you completely ostrasized me. We'd try to hang out like old times, but it wasn't the same because you would all talk about drinking parties and times I wasn't around, to the point where we slowly just stopped talking. That whole year hurt like hell, it still stings my heart to think about it, but the grudges I held for so long are gone. Junior year, I found wonderful friends and moved on. I heard none of you talk anymore. Maybe it's better that we grew apart.
4) I wish you wouldn't be so damn mean to your boyfriend. He loves you more than anything, treats you wonderfully, gives you whatever you want, & took you on fucking VACATION with him. You pick stupid, petty little fights just to pick them. I know this because you do it to me sometimes. Why you do it, I have no idea. But your boyfriend is amazing to you, and you should treat him half as good as he treats you. Seeing you two together just makes me sad whan you get like that.
5) Dude, wtf happened? We used to talk so much, and now whenever I try to message or comment you, the effort is fruitless cuz you act like I evaporated or something. I just don't get it. I thought we had a good thing going. Yes, I was attracted to you, but our conversations were always different and interesting, and I loved that. I would think of you as a friend first and potential boyfriend second. I don't know what I did to scare you off, but sorry. You seem mad, but how the hell can you be mad at someone you talked to in person like, twice? I'm gonna keep trying. I wish you'd go online more, that would make it easier. You can ignore the myspace shit all you want, but you'd have to answer me if I IMed you. I'd love to see where it went from there.
6) I loved you since I was 15, and still do, with a vengance. I told my sister once, "He is the alpha; the standard every guy I date has to meet". There's still a part of me that believes we'll get married, but you'd probably see me as an infant. I just picture meeting you on tour and having like, a whirlwind love affair. I'd settle for a few days, even. God, I wish you weren't married. If I was a little older and you were a little younger things would be fucking perfect. To have you in your glory days? Um, yeah. I'd probably die. Period.
7) You change completely when you're around your boyfriend. He controls you just like __ did, you just don't see it. I'm starting to doubt that you will. When your boyfriend gets jealous cuz you kissed a *girl* when you were drunk.. Um, I think that's when you should know that it's time to get out.
8) Ok, I understand we were kids, and kids do stupid shit for no reason. I don't think you knew how much you were hurting me, or maybe you did, I'll never know because I'll probably never cross paths with you/get the balls to talk about this with you were we to meet up somewhere along the line. I seriously believe you scarred me for life, and that I'll never have lasting relationships with friends. When people get close to me, I have an extremely hard time opening up, and then after I do open up, I don't know wether or not I can trust the person. Yeah. I have *serious* trust issues. I wish with all my heart I could get past this, but I think it was a bad time in life, I was young and vulnerable. Everyone has baggage, I guess this is [some of] mine.
9) You're cocky as hell, I think you *know* ppl think you're hot [although, for the record, I don't], you blatantly let people kiss your ass, you're the cheesiest person on the planet, & you broke my sister's heart. Even with the afformentioned things working against you, Lia and I miss you to death. You were like the brother we never had; if we had a triplet and he was a guy, I'm pretty sure he'd be as fun as you were. I miss all the fun we had. You were like us in every way, we had the same sense of humor; and who else would snesk into the Hampton Inn pool or play scenes with Taco Bell sauce packets? Oh, and Sheetz chicken, too. Ellie, remember? I miss darts and the Slushee Machine. I miss all our good times. I really hope we stay in touch. But you did treat Lia like shit sometimes, and I hope someday you'll grow up enough to see that.
10) I totally don't have any regrets regarding losing my virgintiy to you. You were a sumbag to Shannon, and probably would've been a dickwad to me, had I stayed. But you were nice; you always had a light for me, you gave me your coat, picked me flowers, played footsie, all the things I would normally gag at. I still think if I was with anyone else and they played footsie in bed, I'd hurl. I don't know why it worked with you but it did. My friends think you're scummy, so I pretend to them that I think you are, too. Oh yeah, you always had weed. Totally a plus!
A few recent entries that I wrote in my gj and forgot to post here. Sorry [if anyone really cares]! Read on as Erin gets a job, loses a job, and bitches that her perscriptions aren't written! Oooooh- intriging[s/p]!
lol.. I just realized the word 'beautition' has 'tit' in it! I'm so immature. Well, yeah. I started at Panache yesterday. I've been going there since I was a young'n [Lia drew on the floor with lipstick when we were getting our hair done for 1st communion, it's *thatt* long], and I know everyone, so it's cool and really relaxed. The only ppl I don't know are Wally, Kevin, and Jill [Who went to Riverside. Figures. lol. But she was like, maybe 4 or 5 years ahead of us. Lia said she remembered us from way back when and that's hella cool in my book]. Wally and Kevin are gay. Kevin cut our hair when we were babies in the Wyoming Valley Mall, but then moved. I have yet to meet him, but again, Lia said when she went there to get her eyebrows done last month that Kevin remembered us, too! ["The twins from Moosic.. OMG!"] I hope he remembers us in a *good* way; I hope we weren't brats or anything. lol. And Wally. OMG, if you've ever seen The Kids In The Hall, he's fucking Buddy Cole. I absolutely love him! Some chick brought a tiara in today, and he was prancing around in it cuz it covered his bald spot. He is the shit. And of course, there's Jillian [oh yeah- the two jill's are pregnant. lol], Melissa, Erin, Tara & Julie, who we've known forever.
It's so weird. It really doesn't feel like a job, you know? All I do is wash hair and color bowls and towels for $7.oo an hr. I feel like I'm ripping them off. They shouldn't be paying me so much! I feel guilty. ....Oh yeah... And answer the phone. *There's* the problem. Scheduling appts. OMG, it's so confusing I could die. I really don't know wtf Erin and Julie were thinking when they hired me to do that. It's like, you have to allow so much time for color and perms and shit to process, and book other appts. while the processing is happening. Christ. I really have no idea wth I'm doing. It's only my 2nd day, though, right? Right. There's always something, I swear to God. Life isn't perfect, though, so how the hell did I expect a job that is a breeze to be a *total* breeze? I guess that's where the $7.oo comes in? Yeah.
Oh, God, I want to take a nap. Sooooooooooo badly. Ugh. But if I nap now, I won't be up for frigging 9am tomorrow. I like the early days, though. It's a pain in the ass to get up so early, and of course, I miss my Green Acres & Newsradio, but after all is said and done, the day goes by sooo much faster. Today felt like nada.
OOOOHHH-- Also, I GOT MY HAIR CUT!! Finally, right? It was driving me insane, and it was hardly to my shoulders yet. But it's off my neck, yay for that. It looks really cute. I haven't had my hair this short in a while. It's like, longer in front and shorter in back, and the longest hair comes to a little below my earlobes when it's behind my ears. All I gotta do is blow dry and wax it up, tease the crown a little, and I'm good to go. I always loved my hair like this, though. It looks so clean in the back.
Yeah, fuck it. I'm taking a nap. I went on 2 hrs sleep today, I need to catch up. It was so weird last night; I couldn't sleep for shit. I even put on that hypnosis cd that always puts me & Lia out, and I stayed awake through all three tracks. That has so never happened before. The guy sounds like a boring ass teacher. Why the hell couldn't I stay awake in SCHOOL, but could stay awake laying down in the pitch dark listening to what is essentially a monotone teacher?! Seriously, wtf? =\
But yeah. My bed is calling my name *now*, at 6:26 pm. Oh, the irony. Kill me, for real.
Upside to this entery: OMG holy shit- Erin LIKES a job? Whaaaaaat?! =]
Ugh. Ok, so I don't work at Panache anymore. lol.. Didn't I just say in the last entry that it seemed too good to be true? Hilarious.
Well, I wasn't fired or anything, but I kept having panic attacks after the first week. At the end of the second week, I missed Thursday & Friday, and on Friday, Erin called and I [grudgingly] explained about the whole panic attack/social anexiety thing; but that I was going to Dr. Youron's on Sat. Well, Monday night I call her to see what time she wanted me in the following day for work and she tells me I should "Take some time off" because there were three other girls up for the job that really wanted to do it and she really felt I "Needed some time to relax and maybe go back to beauty school". So, whatev. I'm over the bitterness, now I'm just feeling like, "Meh, at least I can meet a potential boyfriend at whatever new job I get".
The new job- boy, am I putting that off. There was a job fair the other day at the Arena and I asked Ma to take me & she said I needed some time, too [not in quotes cuz I know she tells me the truth. Annnd wasn't trying to fire me! lol]. So, all's wicked awesome on the job front! And I'm absolutely in love with my life right now.
There's less than 30 days till my 21st, I know this cuz Lia has a counter on her myspace. So basically, everything's good. OOh- I got a pair of black platforms on Ebay for $21.98 [shipping included]. They're sooooo sweet, with white polka dots and a stilletto heel. Bonus-- I can wear them to school whan I go back. So yay for that! Also, yay for Dave Foley being judge on that new improv show Thank God You're Here. Even though he's not that hot anymore [3 words: that scraggly beard. *gags*], he's still Dave fucking Foley and he's still awesome. I wish someone would dye his temples for him, though. His whole head is still blonde, and then there's those gray temples. Get someone on that, David!
Wellllllllll, I'm out. I have clothes to fold and other shit to do [no rest for the wickeddd! lmao], the list never ends.
The weather today is sweet. How beautiful is it today? God, I love it. Watch, tomorrow it'll be like, 45.
We saw Dr. Youron on Sat. and he's putting me back on the old Paxil. He wanted to put me on Xanax or Vallium or some other kind of benzo, which at first got me pretty psyched, but ma was all, "I'm keeping them. You ask me for one and I'll give it to you. I'll hide the bottle." so I was thinking, "What's the use if my mom's gonna be holding on to them? I might as well just go back to Paxil."
He STILL has yet to send in the perscription. Arrgh. It's like, he doesn't understand I have a life to live and I NEED these things to have a normal, unparanoid mindset. "I'll call it in on Monday," he said on Sat. Well, here we are, Tuesday and still no perscription. Selfish, selfish Mike.
He says he thinks I should call Panache and ask for like, one day a week, maybe Saturdays or something, which I don't think is a bad idea, but I'll have to get another job, too, I know it. You gotta go whole hog with Mollie.
I think I have to go into rehab for an addiction to Ebay. Or at least get a job. My love for all things vintage is biting me in the ass. Seriously, I disgust myself. Ugh.
So, yeah. That's what's been going on in my fabulous and riveting life. Later.
The weather report just said "The sun will dominate the sky". Oh, the dramatics of WBRE. OMG- Adrianne Curry and Peter Brady are gonna be on Dr. Keith today. Tjose two are like watching a brutal train wreck, you don't want to, but you just cant help yourself. I was going to take a nap, but now I *have* to stay up till at least 3 to see them. It's imperitave. lol.
Oh, wow. They're talking about [and I quote] "Fruit Juice Obesity" on the news. That's a complete oxymoron, right? Tehy always say fruit juice is healthier than soda. What do they expect you to drink, water? lol. What about the people such as myself that can't stand water?
I just realized I'm really hungry, and for some reason I'm craving the vegitarian wrap that I had in NY and totally hated. How crazy is that? So weird. I'm gonna go scrounge up some chow and watch I Love Lucy.
I just thought of Kristen and how much I miss her. All of a sudden, before I knew it, I was bawling. I think it's just the way it's supposed to work in my life, once I get attached to someone, I lose them somehow. Of course, I *chose* to leave beauty school, but I thought I'd be back soon, I didn't think I'd be taking this long of a break. Even if I went back now, I'd only have about Dec & probably half of Jan with her. And my mother hates me right now cuz I was up all night. I made her coffee and everything, but o/c, nothing's good enough. What'd you expect? lol. Ok. so my mission for the day is to stay up for the whole of it, so she doesn't beat me to a pulp. Ha. I almost capitalized 'pulp', as in the band. lol. Simple things amuse me. Simple, simple things.
The Democrats own the house!! *squeals* Now we have two more years to possibly get the troops out of Iraq and impeach Bush [or, in the words of Girl Hitler, "Banish the prick!"]. Cross your fingers. I'm certainly crossing mine.
In other news, I was in NY on the 4th, and it was wicked awesome and I loved the shit out of it. We saw The Lion King on Broadway and it totally blew me away; a lot better than I expected it to be. It was amazing and boss and the coustumes kicked major ass. It was killer and I think everyone should get a chance to see it in their lifetime cuz it is not to be believed. It makes you feel like anything is possible on the stage. I would kill, *kill* to be on Broadway. Never having seen a Broadway play before, I had no idea how very cool it was. Kicks community theatre's ass, if you ask me.
But yeah. New York is big and beautiful and amazing and I want to move there asap. It's the kind of place you'd want to go for an unlimited amount of time; it's like a huge playground. One day wasn't enough for me. It's like finding a box full of treasures and then having to close it halfway through. If I ever lived there, I guess I'd have to live in Queens or someplace less expensive. That would *still* be more expensive than staying in PA, though. =[ Oh, well. I'm only 20. I have a whole lifetime ahead of me. We'll see what the future will bring.
Hmm... Not much has been going on lately.. basically me just doin the whole "antisocial stay at home" bit. I'm really considering going back to school, but I'll only do it if Ms. Joan lets me in either Kristen's class, or Lindsay's. I'm sure I have a better chance of getting in Lindsay's cuz she just recently started going back, so we'll see. If I can't get back into school, I'm gonna attempt to get a job. Not soon, but soon enough, you know? I need to do something with my life. Lia told me there's a party up at some girl's cabin this weekend, and I'm gonna drag her with me cuz I need to get the hell out of this house and get a life. I know I should probably start seeing Mike again, but I don't think I'm ready to listen to his inevitable bitching about my doing nothing since July. Ugh. I don't know. Whatev.
On the upside, we're going to New York to see The Lion King in early November, the 4th I think. I'm wicked excited about that. Kris says he thinks I'm gonna hate how cold it is in NY, but how much colder can it be than PA, really? They're both Northeastern states, right? Kris says he thinks I'm going to change my mind about [theoritically] being able to sleep on the street with the bums. I don't. lol. They say NY is the safest town in America. Detroit is the worst. So I say, if I'm not gonna be in Detroit, I'm fine, man! I'll live in my fucking box or car and and just deal untill I get famous or at least an agent. lol. Listen to how pathetic that sounds. I'm wacky, but, sadly and pathetically, I believe that crap.
Ugh, the movie I'm watching right now, Augusta, Gone- I swear it's making me really not want to have kids. lol. What a brat that Augusta was. If I have a 14 year old girl that treats me the way she treated her mother, remember to remind me to kill myself. lol. I hope I'm as menacing and frightening as my mother was. I'm still afraid of her at 20 1/2 years old, for christ's sakes!
I hope my aunt wins a million zillion dollars in Atlantic City tomorrow. I really do. lol.
Till next time, cuties,
*mwah*
And for your viewing pleasure:
Words cannot express the joy this little film brought me when I was a kid, and even now, to find it! Sesame Street just isn't what it used to be. =[
Sometimes I feel like I’ll never find real love. Let me explain.
Kris and I were fightingTuesday night (actually, Wed morning.. lol) cause he was being a little mo and went on Lia’s screenname and pretended to be her, telling me she fucked Dante. I said I was glad. Honestly, I was. He was so sweet, always pining after Lia like a little boy, and one day even said dreamily to me and Ali, “I’m gonna marry that girl,” with a huge grin on his face. I’m sorry if I think Kris acts like Lia is second best. In my eyes he really does. In my opinion, it seems like he just decided to say ‘yes’ when she asked him out cause it was convienient for him at the time and now he’s trying to pick little fights to make her break up with him [there were times that they fought and he said he wanted out and she literally begged him to give her another chance]. He’s been doing it for two years now cause obviously the spineless little pussy doesn’t have the balls to do it himself. He really does live up to the nick name, I’ve got to give him that.
Well, as we were fighting, he threw Brian back in my face saying something akin to, “Oh, you’re right. I don’t act like I’m in love with her. Maybe I should only call her late at night, and spend the nights with her but leave the room when my girlfriend comes back.” I thought I was done crying, but seeing it again in writing is making me bawl again.
Like, I’m sorry that the only guys who are ever interested in me have girlfriends. I’m so sorry. But everyone needs love; it’s human nature. You break after a long time without it. I’m sorry I needed someone to love me and the only one who did just so happened to have a girlfriend. I apologize for needing someone’s arms around me. I longed for someone to tell me that they truly loved me and that I was beautiful and that my smile knocked them out, even if they were empty words. I’m sorry I’m a human fucking being and I need some goddamned compassion sometimes. I truly apologize. I’m so sorry that my fucking affairs bother you so much, but- oh yeah- you have millions of girls flirting with you and vying for your attention and even a girlfriend who’s life you’ve bloody become. So you can preach to me about who I date and what I’m doing wrong, because you’re lonely, too, right? You know that beggars can’t be choosers because you live it, too, just like I do. You understand, therefore you can talk down to me. We must be on the same level because there’s no other conceivable reason for you to be so cold and harsh, right? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, asshole.
I played with a salamander today for the first time since I was like, 11. They always make me nervous when they're on the asphalt cause I think someone's gonna step on/run over them. So I picked him up and put him in the grass.
Also, I was falling asleep last night and I smelled Calypso Cool Teen Spirit. lol. Talk about random! I felt like I was in 4th grade again.
Lately I have no apetite anymore and I'm down to 99 pds. I like it, but I'm *so* scared I'm gonna lose my boobs!! lol. I just got them to a B last year from the pill. I'm not ready to be an A again.. lol. When I suck in my stomach, I look like I'm in Aushwitz, no word of lie. I hate it but I like it, if that makes any sense; which I'm well aware it doesn't. =]
I still wanna dye my bang blonde and I'm gonna as soon as I get my ass out and get to Schoneman's. lol. Which reminds me, I was kicked out of Empire. I'm sooo not suprised. I want to go back in a couple months, tho. I need to finish this shit up so I can have a decent enough job in the future that I'm not making minium wage and asking 'mommy' for money. =[ I just want to live it up now while I *can* do nothing, you know, cause before you know it, I'll be back doing the school thing and then *gags* working *gags* full time *kinda gags* at a salon. Ugh. Why I am such a lazy son of a bitch, I'll never know.
And I found the 2 hottest little pairs of platforms on ebay! One pair is dark purple and lavender suede with a peep toe, and the other pair is, like, a sparkly silver closed toe. Hot hot wicked fucking hot! I'll let you know if I get them.. both auctions don't end for another couple days, and I usually wait till they're almost over to start bidding. lol. Oh, this platform obsession.. what am I to do with myself?
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___acid_queen's journal
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