the dancers will be underground, soon, soon.|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
jessica reaves' LiveJournal:
|Sunday, June 13th, 2004|
well, so, i had to work all damn day, but at least i'm not still there now - right? i really hate people. well, i'm a little torn about that. i like people in general - the idea of the human race, i mean. but, at the same time, i hate them. maybe that's because i have to wait on them and kiss their ass as a job. the only highlight of my shift is when i get to wait on a friend.
the other day at work was good. i had this table full of mexicans - real mexicans, i mean. they barely spoke a word of english and the sound of an "oh no, here we go, no tip" reverberated in my throat throughout the entire time they were there. i just knew i wasn't going to get a good tip. but, by the time the special moment came, the grandma of the group - or the matriarch if you will - motioned me to come over and gave me a huge hug. then she gave me twenty dollars and made out a "thank you". i almost cried. i was so ashamed of my thoughts. it was the best hug ever too. she was soft and pudgy and yes, she even smelt good too. i almost cried and i never cry unless i am watching a damn good movie or reading a damn good book.
the end of the night was the climax though. i was going to the computer to do my checkout when i bit it hard. my ass is still stinging. my boss was so afraid i would sue, that he told me i didn't have to come to work tomorrow. yes, i love my life. well, tonight i love my life. Current Mood: exhausted
|Thursday, June 10th, 2004|
|my day off
well, as the subject gives away, this was one of my very few days off. and what, do you suppose, i did? i slept and slept and watched two terrible made for television movies and then went to barnes and noble. that place gets me. i used to work in the cafe there when i was nineteen and i hated it. nothing has really changed since then. the same kind of people are there with their mochaccinos and chai teas (which i actually love) pretending to be smart and sophisticated, but merely seeming pretentious. the great thing about that cafe are the windows. the only great thing. i was writing when i caught a glimpse of a pack of cumulus clouds drifting slowly across the grey sky. it made me want to listen to coldplay or the pixies. either would have made the experience complete.
i went from pretense to pretense when i headed to flip's wine bar after to meet some friends. i hate that i like that place, what with it's terrible abstract art that ties too hard and hipsters who try even harder. i showed up in my jean skirt and adidas sandals and got more than a few looks. i know they were really jealous deep down. they only wish they didn't care half as much as they try to look. i wanted to just point at my joy division pin on my cardigan, as if that would have gained me my admittance into the cool club. it will all be okay, because someday they will realize what a waste of time they are participating in. Current Mood: frustrated
|Monday, May 31st, 2004|
Well, apparently, today was Memorial Day, but I wasn't told until after - bastards. I was actually supposed to work tonight, but I was successfully sick. So, I was able to stay at home like a normal person. Which means, I sat on the patio for a little while, sat in the living room for a little while and ended up in my room (sitting) for a little while.
I did make this comp cd tonight. My computer speakers are broken, so I wasn't exactly sure how it would turn out. I did give it the test though. My brother went with me in the car to check it out. Windows down and listening to Beth Orton, David Grey, Carol King, Ben Harper and James Taylor. It was a pink and blue sunset and then we came home.
These are the days when Birds come back -
A very few - a Bird or two -
To take a backward look.
These are the days when skies resume
The old - old sophistries of June -
A blue and gold mistake.
Oh fraud that cannot cheat the Bee -
Almost the plausibility
Induces my belief.
Till ranks of seeds their witness bear -
And softly thro' the altered air
Hurries a timid leaf.
Oh Sacrament of summer days,
Oh Last Communion in the Haze -
Permit a child to join.
Thy sacred emblems to partake -
Thy consecrated bread to take
And thine immortal wine! Current Mood: contemplative
|Wednesday, May 12th, 2004|
|random, random, random
> I was riding my bike last night through the dark, wet streets on my way home from the park and realized it was a good day. It always just seems so weird how the hours run into one another and suddenly, a month has past. Ghosts are around every corner - proving themselves inescapable. Just when you think it's all over, you realize how foolish you are and laugh.
> I've been told, recently that I look like a hobbit. I know in a way it makes me superficial, but I can't get the comment out of my head. The worst part is that my love for Tolkien makes it difficult to tell if I should be offended or flattered.
> I think I might take my poetry a little too seriously. Tonight, I was looking over a small book of verse from the university's "Native Tongues". I had handed some poems over to a friend to be published in it; pristine and special, but somewhere in the transaction, the poems were edited and mushed together to such an extent that when I finally saw them in print - I exploded. I was literally shaking. My brother was laughing at me and somewhere I saw my reflection - wide eyes and wild hair - and attempted to calm down.
> I guess I am just under the impression that art is sacred. Yes, it can be funny and irreverent, but the act of creating is what is special. A philosopher (yes, i know i am quoting philosophy, but at least i'm not so pretentious as to give his name) once said that it is the artist duty to create - that it is his way to communicate with his surroundings.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too serious. I'm a little too hesitant to say at the moment Current Mood: geeky
just looking at my journal and how its layout looks.