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  <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly</id>
  <title>Don't ever tell anybody anything.</title>
  <subtitle>If you do, you start missing everybody.</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>.</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2007-09-22T01:56:37Z</updated>
  <lj:journal username="____firefly" type="personal"/>
  <link rel="service.feed" type="application/x.atom+xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom" title="Don't ever tell anybody anything."/>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:61624</id>
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    <title>Oh.</title>
    <published>2005-02-04T22:14:47Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:28:43Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;I had a shitty realization today. I guess I've been so busy trying to pretend the bad things in life aren't there that I forgot that eventually it all catches up with me.
&lt;p&gt;
My advice to everyone is: become detached from reality forever. Life is a lot easier that way.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:61219</id>
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    <title>Photos courtesy of Melissa.</title>
    <published>2005-02-04T01:14:24Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:29:45Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Monday, January 31 was a nice day with great friends.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0016.jpg" border="3"&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_002.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_003.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_004.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_005.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_006.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_007.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_008.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_009.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0010.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0011.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0012.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0013.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0014.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ice_0015.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
We walked on a completely frozen bay. We got so far out, that if that ice broke, we would have most certainly been fucked. It was quite an adventure. But the teeter-totters at the park in which this bay was located by was NOT an adventure. I will never go on them ever again. EVER. They went so high up. It was scary. D:
&lt;p&gt;
This week has been giving me continuous bad days. February isn't looking too good.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:60835</id>
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    <title>Teenagers love to complain.</title>
    <published>2005-02-02T23:18:14Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:30:39Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;"Put your ear up to the radio. You know more than you think you know. Go the other way. There's another way to feel undone."
&lt;p&gt;
I'm so upset right now that I can't even think of what to say. Whenever I get sad, I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. I'm too sad to speak, or think. I wish I hated life, because I would enjoy taking the easy way out. The suicidal ones are the ones who are lucky. They can leave whenever they want without any fear of what lies ahead of them.
&lt;p&gt;
I used to get mad when I would complain to someone older than me, and they'd say, "It's just a phase." Ironically, those same words would seem really comforting to me right now. However, I don't think being hurt repeatedly by loved ones is "just a phase." It's just something we tell ourselves so the pain hurts a little less. Human beings tend to lie to themselves a lot, don't they?
&lt;p&gt;
Summer, why don't you hurry up? I need some drugs and booze and little trips with my friends and sunrises on beaches and warm nights. I need that good and mellow feeling that you bring. So come soon, ok?
&lt;p&gt;
Time for some Soy Latte so I can chill out and ignore the bad things in life. I know ignoring things isn't the solution, but ignoring something is better than dwelling on it.
&lt;p&gt;
PS: &lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/coachella.jpg" border="3"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:60534</id>
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    <title>Cupid will be striking soon.</title>
    <published>2005-02-01T15:35:24Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:30:54Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;&lt;center&gt;If you should ever leave me&lt;br&gt;
Though life would still go on, believe me&lt;br&gt;
The world could show nothing to me&lt;br&gt;
So what good would living do me?&lt;br&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
God only knows what I'd be without you&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:59926</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/59926.html"/>
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    <title>Party Monster is the worst movie. Ever.</title>
    <published>2005-01-29T07:26:40Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:31:38Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Myspace has made me realize how many attention craving human beings there are in the world. It also made me realize that Stephanie's little brother is wanted by half of our high school. I'm telling you, it's the fro he has. Girls dig afro's. Just look at the success of Napoleon Dynamite.
&lt;p&gt;
Insomnia is not fun. Unless HBO airs hooker documentaries. I love hookers.
&lt;p&gt;
PS: &lt;a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/____firefly/59418.html"&gt;HEY ASSHOLES, BE SPONTANEOUS ONCE IN A WHILE&lt;/a&gt;. &amp;gt;=[&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:59015</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/59015.html"/>
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    <title>Someone take me to see Modest Mouse in Chicago on February 25!</title>
    <published>2005-01-25T02:29:08Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:32:05Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Stephanie, Ed and I went to the T-Docks tonight. It was snowing, and despite the bitter cold, it was extremely beautiful outside. There is something about that place that fills my head with thoughts. Conversations seem to lift off more easily. As soon as I got there, the words seemed to flow out of my mouth.
&lt;p&gt;
I can't imagine life without Stephanie and Ed. I've grown dependent on having them around. I hope I never have to know what life is like without them. (Of course, life never works out the way we want it to.)
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;These are mostly of Stephanie. Ed wouldn't let me put the pictures of him on here.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/snownight02.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/snownight01.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/snownight03.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/snownight04.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/snownight05.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie01.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie02.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie03.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie04.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie06.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie07.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie08.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie09.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie10.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanie11.jpg" border="3"&gt;&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
God, I take the shittiest pictures.
&lt;p&gt;
PS: Read my subject title. =[&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:57642</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/57642.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=57642"/>
    <title>It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world.</title>
    <published>2005-01-18T23:24:18Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:32:52Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;"I left all my friends at the morning bus stop shaking their heads. 'What kind of life do you dream of? You're allergic to love.'"
&lt;p&gt;
I erased my whole entry, because complaining is for people who don't take action when there is a conflict in their life.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:57097</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/57097.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=57097"/>
    <title>SLC Punk!(?)</title>
    <published>2005-01-16T11:12:41Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:33:20Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/memories.jpg" align="left" border="3"&gt;I hate how a lot of my memories are with people who don't even acknowledge me anymore, and I don't acknowledge them. We pass by each other in the hallways of school daily. Occasionally, I see them around town. And we pretend like we never knew each other. We clearly see the other person, and then as we get closer, we pretend like we're looking somewhere else. At the floor, or the lockers. This is my relationship with numerous people. A frightening amount, actually. These kids ran from the cops with me on hot summer days. Or they hugged me on cold nights to keep me warm. Or they grabbed my hand while staring at the universe that surrounds us and said, "We'll be friends forever, don't worry."
&lt;p&gt;
Or perhaps they said the infamous, "School won't change a thing. It won't separate us."
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Maybe those words were a curse. These people look so grown up now. So different from the simple days of summer. It's so amazing how much people change. Maybe what's more amazing is how much time has passed. Sometimes I see these former friends driving in cars, when it seems like yesterday they were saying to me, "I can't wait until I drive. We'll go so many places, Sam. It'll be a blast." Little did we know we wouldn't even be acknowledging each other barely a year later.
&lt;p&gt;
Why do we do that? I don't even know. Maybe we're waiting for the other person to say hi first. Maybe the summer brings out the best in us, and once school comes we return to our routine friends. It's possible these people were just my fair-weather friends. At least when I see them, they are a little reminder of a more youthful me. Back when it was so easy to laugh, and crying was unheard of. That was only two years ago. People always say, "So much can change in a year." Fuck that. So much can change in a day. Your life can go from content to spinning out of control in a matter of minutes. Unfortunately, I know that from experience.
&lt;p&gt;
I guess drugs really do fuck things up, because sometimes I forget how to have a good time without their aid. I'm so busy escaping that I'm losing touch with the only friends I can count on.
&lt;p&gt;
So, these are my teen years, huh?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:56817</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/56817.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=56817"/>
    <title>I hate my uterus.</title>
    <published>2005-01-13T09:49:38Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:33:39Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;I think my school just assumes I'm dead by now, or forgot that I was even alive to begin with. I'm going on day number six on my absent streak. In 2005 alone, I missed six days of school out of nine. I think that's a record for me.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
I felt stressed.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/repulsive01.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Oh, and I like shirts with trees on them.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/repulsive04.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
I also enjoy talking to Steph through AIM. (Don't you just hate it when people cross their faces out in pictures?)&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/repulsive02.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Proof?&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/repulsive03.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
This is Stephanie. She is Cherokee Indian (ok, like 1%).&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephaniesavage.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Hal Sparks is Cherokee, too.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanieandhal01.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Unfortunately for her, he is above the age of thirty and lives in California. So she must resort to making out with pictures of him instead of the real thing.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanieandhal021.jpg" border="3"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/stephanieandhal03.jpg" border="3"&gt;&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
That's all.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:56482</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/56482.html"/>
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    <title>I saw Donald Arrington today.</title>
    <published>2005-01-12T04:20:12Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:34:21Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;I'm not viewed as a friend or someone to lean on by many people. I'm merely here to talk to. To keep someone company. I'm a space filler.
&lt;p&gt;
I'll admit that it hurts, but that's pretty obvious.
&lt;p&gt;
I'm so emotional when I can't sleep. I lay in bed for hours waiting to fall asleep, but instead my thoughts attack me. A teacher (ok, a math substitute) once said that our brain controls us, rather then we control our brain. I wouldn't be surprised if this is true. I mean, think about it. If we could control our thoughts, we'd be much happier.
&lt;p&gt;
Anyway. I haven't been in school since last Wednesday. I'm never absent one day at a time, it's always weeks at a time. My teachers must be thrilled with me, especially since midterms are next week. I'm stressing out just at the mere thought of all the make up work I'm going to have. Some pot would be good about now.
&lt;p&gt;
Ever notice that the people who aren't interesting are the ones who ramble? It looks like I'm one of them. Oops.
&lt;p&gt;
Ok. Good night. I hope.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:55277</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/55277.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=55277"/>
    <title>I'm not a big fan of the human race.</title>
    <published>2005-01-04T01:33:32Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:34:37Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;I don't understand why people make resolutions for the new year. We shouldn't sit around and wait for January 1 just to better ourselves. We should be bettering ourselves every day.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:55011</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/55011.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=55011"/>
    <title>Make lemonade out of it.</title>
    <published>2005-01-01T12:29:23Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:35:11Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Dear life,
&lt;p&gt;
This letter is a promise to you. Now that it is a new year, it's time to start off with a clean slate. I promise I will never threaten to leave you again. I am sorry for all the times I told you I hated you. I didn't mean it. I am sorry for not accepting your imperfections like I should have. I expect too much from you. I will also stop blaming you for every little thing that goes wrong in my life.
&lt;p&gt;
I hope our relationship is good in 2005.
&lt;p&gt;
Love,&lt;br&gt;
Samantha Fritsky.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:54311</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/54311.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=54311"/>
    <title>Late night ramblings, or something more?</title>
    <published>2004-12-30T08:48:57Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:35:48Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;When I was a little kid, I hated going to sleep. I would think, "Sleep is such a waste of time. Why should I sleep when I have all these wonderful toys to play with?" And now, it's as if I haven't changed at all. I think, "Sleep is such a waste of time. Why should I sleep when I have all these ideas in my head that could be put to some creative use? Life is just passing me by as I lay here." (Of course, most of the things I write or paint end up in the trash because I feel like I'm not good at anything. Fuck you, insecurities.)
&lt;p&gt;
I find it a shame that humans need to sleep. If we never had to sleep, think of how much we could get done. I'm sure there would be less lazy people in the world. We wouldn't be able to use the excuses, "I'm too tired," or, "Oh, I can't go out tonight because I have school/work/something important in the morning." There would be more time in the day to do things. More time to LIVE. Of course, without sleep there would be no way to "escape" from things, unless there were drugs and/or alcohol at hand.
&lt;p&gt;
Well, in other news, some girl called me ugly yesterday. It upset me.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:48206</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/48206.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=48206"/>
    <title>Tricks up my sleeve.</title>
    <published>2004-11-29T21:10:05Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:39:35Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;A beautiful realization was all I needed to brighten my day.&lt;br&gt;
I love you. All of you. Thanks for letting me into your life.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:46063</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/46063.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=46063"/>
    <title>Ramblings of a teenage girl.</title>
    <published>2004-11-19T02:53:49Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:42:22Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;While attempting to find a phase diagram for my Chemistry report (and having no luck in the process), I have fallen in love with &lt;a href="http://bandbuilder.com/damienrice/player.php"&gt;Damien Rice&lt;/a&gt;. His song plays in the trailer for &lt;a href="http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/closer/"&gt;"Closer"&lt;/a&gt;, which I want to see really badly. But nudity in movies make me squirm in my seat and blush, so I don't know if I can handle it. =|?
&lt;p&gt;
I think this is the first month in my entire school related life that I haven't been absent once. Ignore the fact that the month isn't even over yet. This is a huge accomplishment for me. Someone throw me a fucking party. Please.
&lt;p&gt;
I hate updating when I don't have anything meaningful to say. I like to make you guys think I'm intriguing and intelligent, when really I'm far from it. So I'm going to continue to show you guys just how far from intriguing and intelligent I really am!
&lt;p&gt;
Ok, confession time. I'm addicted to The Sims 2. Well, actually, I spend more time reading about The Sims 2 then playing it. You should read half the stuff people put on the website. They write the weirdest stories. It's really entertaining, and it keeps you occupied while your boyfriend is upstairs in your bedroom playing Grand Theft Auto and doesn't acknowledge your existence. Don't you just love how video games seduce your boyfriend more then you ever could? Yeah, me too. (I hope that while you are all reading this BRILLIANT entry, you are listening to Damien Rice since I provided a link for you all in the first sentence.)
&lt;p&gt;
Ok, I have to go study for Italian now.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
PS: I hate Halo 2, and I refuse to ever come close to playing it. So, for all of you who wasted your money on that game, I laugh at you and your money loss.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:43794</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/43794.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=43794"/>
    <title>I'm sorry I'm so boring.</title>
    <published>2004-10-25T19:39:11Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:42:57Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/3.jpg" align="left" border="3"&gt;Today I discovered a new feeling. Or rather, a feeling within a feeling, since everything we feel seems to fall under some sort of category. I guess this new feeling falls under "heartache." You know how they say "nothing is forever"? Well, I've realized that before, but today I &lt;b&gt;felt&lt;/b&gt; it. And what a terrible feeling it is. I wish I never discovered it in the first place.
&lt;p&gt;
"Stop the car. Lay on the grass. The planets spin and we watch space pass. Walk a direction, see where we get. I never knew nothing so there's nothing to forget. Get real drunk and ride our bikes. There's so much beauty it could make you cry."
&lt;p&gt;
It hurts when old best friends don't even think about you anymore. It's one thing to be ignored. It's another to be completely forgotten.
&lt;p&gt;
I want to feel something no one has ever felt before.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:34355</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/34355.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=34355"/>
    <title>Life is shorter then I thought.</title>
    <published>2004-09-05T07:32:42Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:47:10Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;&lt;img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/ugh2.jpg" align="left" border="3"&gt;Growing up seems like something that was never going to happen. I thought I'd be young forever. Don't we all think that at some point? Hell, for the longest time I refused to even believe that my mother and father were once children. Parents don't seem like humans to you when you're young. They're just mom and dad.
&lt;p&gt;
You watch all those shows and movies growing up, and kids in high school look so much older then anyone I know. Of course, you don't realize at the time it's twenty-five years old playing teenagers. But I don't think my face looks like it belongs to a girl who is about to become a Junior. Who is about turn sixteen. Who will eventually drive if she ever gets around to taking the test. I thought I'd look so much more different then this. More mature and grown up. But instead, it's the same face I've always had. Nothing has changed, except now I wear make-up.
&lt;p&gt;
Why am I so afraid of growing up and getting old? Why is anyone? What could possibly be so horrible that people dread turning certain ages? Maybe it's because we see how hard people struggle to live out the American fucking dream. Maybe because the only things there are to look forward to usually aren't that great. Maybe it's because we see so many old people lonely, or sick to the point of being incoherent. And we all say, "Remind me to never get that old."
&lt;p&gt;
I hate how time snuck up on me like this.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:30523</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/30523.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=30523"/>
    <title>The most foolish of all.</title>
    <published>2004-08-15T23:00:54Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:49:43Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="650" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;"You are way too good for me. I don't deserve you now, and I never did before. I'm sorry we lost touch. I was a waste of your time anyway. &amp;lt;3&lt;br&gt;
P.S.- You are so beautiful." - Susan&lt;/i&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
I don't understand why good friendships fade. I don't understand anything sometimes. It seems like the words, "We'll be best friends forever," is a curse. It jinx's the friendship. It happens to me every time. I could name every single person who walked out my life, even after they swore they'd never leave. But I think Mike can be given the honor of hurting me the most by leaving. We even planned on getting our first house together. Sometimes I want to call him up and explain to him that people change. That I've changed. That I've grown a little since Freshman year. That I realize what I did wrong. But he won't listen, and he won't ever listen.
&lt;p&gt;
What hurts the most is that these people leave and don't even look back. They don't even want to look back. I'm written out of their memories and their lives forever. Do you think Mike will ever admit that some of his greatest moments in his teen years were spent with me? I bet he's even erased all the home videos of us, because I can't imagine him watching them and missing me at all. You can't walk away from memories like that and friends like that if you have half a fucking heart. I don't know how people can do that.
&lt;p&gt;
The memories I hate the most are the ones that make me laugh. The ones I try to explain to people that weren't there and they don't get it. Why? Because only the person I made those memories with could possibly understand and find it funny. And most of the time, those people don't even want to give me the time of day let alone reminisce with me.
&lt;p&gt;
I know it is all apart of growing up. "Finding out who your true friends are," and all of that. But even once you are "grown up" you still hurt. People still come in and out of your life and you still can get your heart broken. I think we just say that it is all apart of growing up to make it easier for ourselves. It's nice to think that hurtful things like this will someday end. But it won't. Name calling never ends. Jealousy never ends. Back-stabbing never ends. We'll be dealing with the same issues with each other twenty years from now.
&lt;p&gt;
But maybe that is because we are forever growing up. Forever learning who we are because we are constantly changing. Once we figure ourselves out, we just change again. Once we have a best friend, they leave. Once we love life, things get hard. And what is a movie without suspense and conflict occasionally? And that is what our lives are. A movie for everyone else to watch.
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
In other new, my trip over the weekend was fun. Stephanie, Lauren, my mom and I laughed a lot. South Street was rainy and gloomy but I enjoyed it anyway. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I was a millionaire. Actually, I'd enjoy anything more if I was a millionaire. I've come to notice my taste in clothes has changed a lot. Goodbye dark colors, hello pastel and bright colors. I also spent about $80 on posters and pictures. They are so beautiful, I couldn't help it. I think I want to redecorate my room now.
&lt;p&gt;
What a project that will be if I go through with it.
&lt;p&gt;
Also, Stephanie and I explored the neighborhood by our hotel. We found an elementary type school and played on the playground. Then we got my mom and went on a nature hike that was down the road. Then we walked around the neighborhood and talked about how beautiful the houses were. Honestly, that is my dream neighborhood. There was so much green and so many trees. I fell in love.
&lt;p&gt;
The best part about walking around that neighborhood and dreaming about living in one of those houses? That dream will someday be a reality. I'm making sure of it.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:30403</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/30403.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=30403"/>
    <title>And I shout that you're all fakes.</title>
    <published>2004-08-13T05:48:38Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:49:59Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="590" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Monday&lt;/b&gt; was the Modest Mouse show. I took the train into New York with Ed and Stephanie. The day was quite an adventure in itself. Honestly, the show was the best I've ever been to. I wish they could have played endlessly. I even shouted, "Wait, you only played an hour! I still have the rest of my life!" We saw Melissa and Sara, but then we left to go get water. After we drank our ripped-off and overpriced water, we forgot where Sara and Melissa were, so we just found a spot that was right in front of the stage. I had a perfect view of Isaac.
&lt;p&gt;
Every time he spoke, he was really humorous. Is it weird that I didn't expect him to be funny at all? Anyway, the night was excellent. I really want to go into detail about everything, but I hate long journal entries for the fact that I am almost certain that no one reads anything that is beyond one paragraph. Especially with my ordinary journal.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Tuesday&lt;/b&gt; I hung out with Ed, Stephanie, Sean, Chris and Collin. We played stoned charades. At one point, Collin stood on a chair and raised his arm in the air the way Hitler did, and then he got off the chair and marched like a Nazi. So I guessed, "Hitler?" and he goes, "No. George Bush." HAHAHAH. Well, I found it funny. I love good times with good friends.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
I went to the eye doctor, where he numbed my eyeballs and told me things I already knew. Then I was dropped off at Steph's, and sort of last minute decided that I would go to The Dead show. I've never heard them before, but Steph said it's fun just to be there in general. So we get there, and it's storming. And I'm getting buzzed with Stephanie because that is how I solve my problems, obviously. Then I started getting scared since my back is practically a target for lightening. So I did the next logical thing after getting buzzed. Stood under a tree.
&lt;p&gt;
By the way, it was me, Steph, Steph's (SMOKIN' HOT) mother Estelle, Steph's Aunt Bean (who isn't really her aunt), Aunt Bean's sister Kathy, and her cousin Ali (who isn't really her cousin). And the show was at PNC something. I don't know. I just want to get the setting and characters out of the way so I can tell my story.
&lt;p&gt;
So once we buy tickets and get in, we walk in the muddy grass and sit on five dollar lawn seats. I was soaking wet by this time thanks to the rain. We all were. I was having a miserable time once the buzz wore off, and some old guy was performing who I thought wasn't all that good. And then, as Steph and I were talking, we overheard this boy behind us saying, "I got this chair and this show, that's all I need. I'm happy." Or something along those lines. It was probably just stoned rambling (even though the boy later claimed he did nothing but pot that day). So Steph and I turn around and wave, and he comes over and sits with us. His name was Shocker. Ryan Shocker. From Illinois.
&lt;p&gt;
He talked to us the whole night, and stayed with us. He became our friend. He left for a little while to go "spread the love" as he put in. Steph and I were almost certain he wouldn't come back, but then he did. He called us "cute Joisy girls". He told us how he was following The Dead tour, how he's going to follow some of the Phish tour, how he partied in a castle in New York and other things. Whether what he was saying was true or not, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. He kept giving me hugs and was so inspiring. Nothing I can say about him right now could even describe him. But I will try.
&lt;p&gt;
He was just a free person who was living in the here and now. I sit here and ramble about how I need to get good grades in school, so I can get into a good college, get a good job and live the American fucking dream. And he was the complete opposite. He wanted to enjoy his life any way he could, even if it meant only having enough money for gas and the clothes on his back.
&lt;p&gt;
"The way I see it, Illinois is a glass. And I am the ocean. You can't fit the ocean in a glass. The ocean is too big to fit into that tiny little glass. So I spread my love around. Making friends everywhere. I can't stay in Illinois. I'm too big for Illinois."
&lt;p&gt;
He was, no doubt, one of the most amazing people I have ever met. When Estelle told us that we were leaving, Steph and I almost started to cry. Shocker looked pretty upset, too. He stopped dancing and just got a melancholy look on his face. I didn't want to leave this show at all. I didn't want to stop dancing in my soaking wet clothes. I didn't want to leave the smells of pot and alcohol behind, that went so perfectly together it was almost soothing. I didn't want to leave the atmosphere of the show behind. I didn't want to leave this new friend behind. This amazing person with so many ideas and so much love. I told him I liked his life. I told him there should be more people like him. But what I should have told him was that I needed someone like him in my life. That constant reminder that life is too short, and that we need people like him to teach us how to actually live.
&lt;p&gt;
Steph and I said goodbye to our new friend, that we'll probably never see again. He told me to give him my number so the next time he is New Jersey he could find Stephanie and I. I know he probably won't ever find us. Maybe he won't even look. He left shortly after Steph and I because we left. On the ride home, Steph seemed pretty down about leaving him behind. She said she missed having the feeling of being liked and interested in. She missed smiling that much. And I agreed that I needed to smile like that more, but all I could think was, "I don't know how."
&lt;p&gt;
I danced that night. I learned that night. I met someone that night who changed my mind. He was like watching a really inspiring movie. Listening to a really good song. I try and tell Ed about him, but he just gets jealous just for the fact that he's a boy. A girl who is fascinated by a boy OBVIOUSLY means she's in love with him. At least in his mind. I want to try and tell him everything he said, everything he taught me without knowing it. But he won't listen.
&lt;p&gt;
But that's ok, because I know. Because Stephanie knows. Maybe Ryan Shocker's ideas were only meant for me and Stephanie to know. Sometimes I think Steph and I appreciate certain things more than other people do. The little things. &lt;i&gt;And there's nothing bigger, is there?&lt;/i&gt;
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
I am leaving for Delaware and then I am off to South Street in Philadelphia in about nine hours. And I still haven't packed.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:27851</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/27851.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=27851"/>
    <title>Correct.</title>
    <published>2004-07-31T05:46:55Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:51:01Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="590" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;form name="quizform" target="_new" action="http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=277" method="post"&gt;
&amp;lt;table border="1" bordercolor="#000000" bgcolor="#90BED5" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"&amp;gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="083360"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=277" target="_new" style="text-decoration: none;"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #ffffff; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" color="#ffffff"&gt;&lt;b&gt;What will God say to you when you die?&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;Name &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"&gt;&lt;input type="text" name="in0" size="32" maxlength="64" value="Samantha"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;Age &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"&gt;&lt;input type="text" name="in1" size="2" maxlength="2" value="15"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;Religion &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"&gt;&lt;input type="text" name="in2" size="32" maxlength="64" value="Nothing"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;You will say:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;Yo.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;He will say:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;You forgot the pepperoni&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td bgcolor="D8F3F3" colspan="2" align="center"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;How much do you deserve to be in heaven? - &lt;b&gt;24%&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;table align="center" width="250px" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0"&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#006600"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#00cc00"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="Lime"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#99ff66"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ccff99"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ffff33"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ffcc00"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff9900"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff6600"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff3300"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="black"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="black"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="black"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#99ff66"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ccff99"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ffff33"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ffcc00"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ff9900"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ff6600"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="10px" bgcolor="#ff3300"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#006600"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#00cc00"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="Lime"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#99ff66"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ccff99"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ffff33"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ffcc00"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff9900"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff6600"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td height="5px" bgcolor="#ff3300"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#083360"&gt;&lt;input type="submit" name="submit" value="Try Your Answers!"&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan="2" align="center"&gt;&lt;font size="-1" style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"&gt;&lt;b&gt;This &lt;a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/" style="color : #000000;"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000;" color="black"&gt;fun quiz&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt; by &lt;a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/userprofile.php?userid=586"&gt;&lt;font style="color : #000000;" color="#000000"&gt;megalomein&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/a&gt; - Taken 42938 Times.&lt;img src="http://images.kwiz.biz/kwizcount.gif" width="1" height="1" border="0"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;&lt;font style="font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"&gt;Get &lt;a href="http://astrology.kwiz.biz" style="text-decoration: none;"&gt;Free Daily Horoscopes&lt;/a&gt; from Kwiz.Biz&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/form&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hahahahahah.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:24507</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/24507.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=24507"/>
    <title>Octopus.</title>
    <published>2004-07-16T17:20:34Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:51:43Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="590" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Even though other people didn't seem to enjoy Summerfest last night, I had a great time. Catching a firefly. Twirling in circles and getting dizzy. Going in the "enchanted forest". Giggles and smiles. Disgusting food that we all ate anyway. Stolen cotton candy. Fireworks with the subliminal messages. I couldn't ask for a better time.
&lt;p&gt;
Afterwards, Steph and I wandered the streets of Brick tired and hungry. It's a long and confusing story. In the end, we finished off the night by eating Wendy's in Ed's camaro (her name is Chaka, HAHAHAH).
&lt;p&gt;
I think I'm going on the boat today. Anywhere where there is water is my favorite place to be. The boat. The beach. The T-docks. Anywhere. Once summer is over, I'm going to cry. Not because school is starting and freedom is ending; Because I won't be able to visit all of my favorite places. Fall will come, and then winter, and there will be nothing but ice to stare at. Winter is so lonely, but I still think it's beautiful.
&lt;p&gt;
No season will ever beat summer. It holds the most precious memories and happiest smiles for me.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:23185</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/23185.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=23185"/>
    <title>I'm the mellow apathetic kid with the big sunglasses.</title>
    <published>2004-07-10T12:34:18Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:52:10Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="490" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;I went to Ally's party last night. It was happenin'. I was the mellow apathetic kid with the big sunglasses, according to Susan. And I'm going to write "Katelyn is a huge slut" in every public bathroom from now on.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
Sara made one of her random visits yesterday, and I was really happy. I met Sara's new lover, or whatever, Bill from The Countyline. He's nice, which isn't something you come across often in Brick. Or anywhere for that matter. He had a hangover and I somehow got him to get out of bed with Sara. He then drove us to Ally's. I bought a ticket for his show, but then I realized I didn't want to spend ten dollars so I asked for a refund. I'm cheap. I might still go, though.
&lt;p&gt;
Susan and I had our little talks at Ally's. Even though we've been separated, we still have that connection. I can feel it. Just like with Steph and I.
&lt;p&gt;
Today is Stephanie's party, and I want to find tie-dye wrapping paper. I'm not sure it even exists. I'm excited, but I'm also feeling extremely depressed.
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
Hmph.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:19878</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/19878.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=19878"/>
    <title>Bug spray and sun screen.</title>
    <published>2004-06-26T03:41:36Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:53:44Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="center" width="490" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;img src="http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v26/amutememory/photobooth.jpg" align="left"&gt;I remember when the days were long and the nights when the living room was on the lawn. Constant quarreling, the childish fits, and our clothes in a pile on the ottoman. All the slander and doublespeak were only foolish attempts to show you did not mean. Anything but the blatant proof was your lips touching mine in the photobooth. And as the summer's ending the cool air will put your hard heart away. You were so condescending, and this is all that's left: Scraping paper to document. I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on. Cup your mouth to compress the sound, skinny dipping with the kids from a nearby town. And everything that I said was true as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth. Well, I lost track, and then those words were said. You took the wheel and you steered us into my bed. Soon we woke and I walked you home, and it was pretty clear that it was hardly love. And as the summer's ending the cool air will rush your hard heart away. You were so condescending. And this is all that's left: Scraping paper to document. I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on. And as the summer's ending the cool air will rush your hard heart away. You were so condescending, as the alcohol drained the days. And as the summer's ending the cool air will rush your hard heart away. You were so condescending. And this is all that's left: The empty bottles, spent cigarettes. So pack a change of clothes, 'cause it's time to move on.
&lt;p&gt;
That photo is my favorite photo of Steph and I, even though I look like a fool. It was taken in the photobooth at the mall in December of '02. We took photobooth photos recently at the boardwalk, but I don't have a scanner anymore, or a digital camera. You don't know how much I hate not being able to put photos on the internet. I'm a nerd.
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
Tonight was Katelyn's party. I had a great time, despite the fact that I left two hours early because my stomach started to hurt. Oh well. I'm pretty sure I am going to see Fahrenheit 9/11 tomorrow with my two best buddies. That is, if they even let Steph and I in.
&lt;p&gt;
Summer, I am so glad you are here. I've missed you.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:17677</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/17677.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=17677"/>
    <title>You and I wouldn't change a thing. &amp;lt;3</title>
    <published>2004-06-20T21:13:57Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:55:14Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;table border="0" cellpadding="0" align="justify" width="490" cellspacing="0"&gt;&lt;div align="justify"&gt;Lets run through sprinklers while listening to Death Cab For Cutie.
&lt;p&gt;
I just had my usual great time with Stephanie and Edmund this weekend. Stephanie and I saw Steve get arrested. We got a little &lt;strike&gt;drunk&lt;/strike&gt; TIPSY. We had deep conversations. And not to mention, we said many things that just had to be put on livejournal.
&lt;p&gt;
And this weekend would not have been possible if it was not for the song "Rock Me, Amadeus", our beloved Chaka Khan, photobooths, and &lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;ul&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "I only beer when I burp."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Is that a fireball from outer space?! Oh, no, it's just a broken street light."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Sperm taste like dead babies. Oh wait, it is."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "I'm about to puke my life out, and you want to go and eat pizza?"&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Your kids aren't even going to speak actual words."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Why did we come to the boardwalk?" "Because I forgot that we dislike humans?"&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Oh my god!!!111!!!! I forgot how bad ocean water burns when you shave!"&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Hey, we need our turns to puke, too."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "::shines light:: ... woo."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Excuse me, what time is it?" "It's 10 o' clock, time to get home! &amp;gt;=O!"&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Aww, Steve just got arrested."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Come ova here momiz!"&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "Who would buy 23 pounds of cheese for 180 dollars? ... Actually, I would if I was rich, just because I'd be rich."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "If I got my palm read all she'd tell me about is how I'm doomed."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "If you make us watch Arthur, we're not going on the boat."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "How do you spell niggerace?" "I don't know, being that is isn't even a real word."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "My room just did a flip."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;li&gt; "You're going to go golfing on your boat?" "Yes."&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;
&lt;p&gt;
Can you guess who said what?
&lt;p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;
I forgot how great Lifehouse makes me feel.
&lt;p&gt;
&lt;center&gt;.xo.&lt;/center&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:____firefly:16786</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/16786.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="http://users.livejournal.com/____firefly/data/atom/?itemid=16786"/>
    <title>This is why I don't believe in him.</title>
    <published>2004-06-15T18:34:44Z</published>
    <updated>2007-09-22T01:56:37Z</updated>
    <content type="html">If "God" is so fucking nice, he should love and accept everyone. END OF STORY.</content>
  </entry>
</feed>
