i'm not bitter anyway

new lj kids.

2006-08-16T01:04:27Z

http://junpier.livejournal.com/
ADDD ME THERE BABIES.

last weekend.

2006-06-13T20:56:36Z

i really need to start updating this silly thing again.
my weekend started with thursday night.
meghan and amy came over to "study" for bio finals.
that didn't really work out too well.
we ended up just watching tv and crap.
friday was lauren's sweet sixteen.
amy came over about three to get ready.
i was flipping out because the dress i have looks like crap on me.
oh well. it was a fun time.
saturday, i hung out with my family in the morning and that night
nikki free and i went to willowbrooke to go shopping.
i got two shirts and a dress for either cory or meghan's sweet sixteen.
sunday i had a stupid family party to go to celebrate my birthday
i ended up getting like 355 dollars or something from that side of the family.
my grandparents are giving me like 160 to get a cd player put into my car.
sunday night justin came over, we ate dinner then attempted to go bathing suit shopping
it didn't really work too well.
monday i stayed home to hangout with justin.

im so pumped for my birthday.
i'm probably going to fail but whatever.
im still excited.

girl slow down now.

2006-06-12T23:45:13Z

if we go outside
we can take in a haze
of Roche Harbor light
drink a bottle of red wine
forgetting to tell time
just sit still
we've moved enough
the wind on the boat's deck
is a cold hand on the neck
or slipping into our cold bed

i turn seventeen in eight days.
scary fucking shit.
yesterday was me&justin's five months.

school's over soon
THANK GOD.

____desperate @ 2006-05-20T07:27:00

2006-05-20T11:35:25Z

so theres a month left until my birthday and four days after that .. i leave for wildwood with db,tara,sara and family. i'm really excited because last year we had fun. i'm not really excited for this summer as i should be. danielle is gone for a month and i still haven't found a job. so until i find one my life will be like this: sleep,gym, drive to pointless places. doesn't sound fun to me. i have one goal for this summer though. i am not going to drink or do anything illegal not that i do any of that much anymore but still. just thinking about drinking makes me sick in my stomach. whatever.

i've lost everything
to the one boy who said he was mine
said he'd hold me forever.
i'm honestly completely done with being treated like shit.
i gave you so many chances and somehow you still want more.
i really don't know what to do.

____desperate @ 2006-05-14T19:12:00

2006-05-14T23:13:21Z

its kind of scary. i'm a completely different person than i was five months ago.

____desperate @ 2006-04-17T15:34:00

2006-04-17T19:42:59Z

friday i went to steff's house with nikki, mesa and danielle.
we had so much fun dressing up, although not much clothing was involved.
we went in her hot tub and talked about boys and stuff.
saturday i had to wake up early to go into the city with my daddy.
then that afternoon we went down the shore. it was beautiful
my whole family was there, my cousin is moving to hawaii & my other cousin got a puppy
sunday, they made me go to easter mass on the beach, it was pretty but i hate religion.
then we went to my aunts house and ate dinner. sunday night i went driving.

its offical, i'm counting down.
65 days till the last day of school
65 days till my 17th birthday
65 days till frances can DRIVE.

seriously, things are looking so great.
brooke and i are going to bamboozle on sunday!

____desperate @ 2006-04-14T10:39:00

2006-04-14T14:41:55Z

my spring break has been really great so far.
except well. i hate when people say to me
" I MISS YOU WE NEED TO HANGOUT SOON "
and they never really ask me to do anything.
or include me in anything. thats bullshit
if youre going to take your time to say you miss me
fucking keep to your word and ask me to do something.

other than that, justin & i have hit the 4 month mark :]
i really love him like no other. its crazy

____desperate @ 2006-04-07T14:09:00

2006-04-07T18:11:51Z

shorts - american eagle

shorts - abercrombie

white vneck - abercrombie

green vneck sweater - abercrombie

tan racerback - abercrombie

capris - abercrombie

dark grey leggings - abercrombie

tee - abercrombie

teal vneck - abercrombie

capris - abercrombie

shrunken sweatshirt - abercrombie

camo shorts - abercrombie

tee - abercrombie

capris - hollister

shorts - hollister

skirt - abercrombie

jacket - hollister

tee - hollister

polo - hollister

polo - hollister

camo capris - hollister

shorts - hollister

tank - hollister

skirt - hollister

skirt - hollister

shrunken sweatshirt - hollister

tank - hollister

trench - gap

shirt - oldnavy

____desperate @ 2006-04-06T13:51:00

2006-04-06T17:57:18Z

i ended up in the E.R yesterday.
my doctor is an idiot. i don't have an ear infection
i have the flu. i had to get a shot in my butt hahaa
i'm now on vicodin, which is pretty rad.
i'm still bummed i can't go to formal tonight.

____desperate @ 2006-04-05T12:09:00

2006-04-05T16:09:23Z

hello to me missing the most important week of school.
hello ear infection that makes me throw up.
hello valley hospital because now i have to get shots.
next week better be AMAZING or else

oh & i don't get to see justin for two weeks.
honestly, i don't think any of this could get worse.

____desperate @ 2006-04-03T20:27:00

2006-04-04T00:29:04Z

UH, SPRING BREAK NEXT WEEK. WHO WANTS TO HANGOUT/PARTY/ SHOP ... YOU KNOW?

____desperate @ 2006-04-01T00:48:00

2006-04-01T06:01:19Z

sorry. i havent updated in a while so im going to do this now.

i am %100 happy with myself at this point in time.
honestly, i have become so much more confident.
its 1:00 am and i'm sick, i refuse to tell my mom though
cause brooke and i are going to see circa and saves the day tonight.

i realized that im practically done with my sophmore year of hs.
THATS SCARY.
i already picked my classes for next year.
english 3, us history 2, forensic science, algebra 2, french 3, photography, sat prep.
im doing amazing well this semester besides bio. i'm failing it really sucks.
i get at least 3 pieces of mail from colleges everyday.
i'm starting to make my top ten list of colleges.
i only have 3 as of now.
- university of delaware
- university of rhode island
- universty of west virgina.

i start driving in 2 and a half months.
i ~~want~~ AM going to have the best birthday this year.

justin and i are doing well, in case you were wondering.
every little bit of bad that has happened has made this relationship stronger.

i lost 10 pounds.
i haven't cut my hair in over a month
i haven't dyed my hair in over 4 months.

____desperate @ 2006-02-09T15:50:00

2006-02-09T20:05:19Z

i basically give up. i give up on trying to make things work out the way i want them. i hate being a perfectionist and trying to make things perfect. i can't control it this time and its killing me. i give up. if i am not the one you want then i do not know what else to do. i will not beg and plea for you to love me because you should love me. you should want to be with me. i am sick of crying every night because i know that i am not everything you want. i can't fix this without you wanting to fix it. i can't be the only one who wants this relationship.

trust is an evil bitch.

____desperate @ 2005-09-21T18:17:00

2005-09-21T21:38:31Z

so, i like need to stop flirting with so many people. i'm getting myself confused. srsly, i was never like this until like ... the end of june. probably because the 1 person i used to hangout with alot, i mean nothing against her, i just picked up alot of bad habits - which is bad because i'm not just hurting others, i'm hurting myself. so as of right now, i do not like anyone. if a guy likes me, he can ask me to hangout. i'm not throwing myself all over anyone. this isn't who i used to be. i hate the way i've changed. it doesn't make me proud to be like this. i'm like renewing my life.

i miss danielle and hanging out with her all the time. i honestly dont think it will ever be the same. which really sucks because me neglecting her and tara and sara has left a bug hole in my life. and i'm sorry i needed a break from everyone and everything. if i've been a bad friend to you, i'm sorry. i can't say it enough. alot of things in my family life has been bothering me, especially everything to do with my brother. its taken a emotional toll on me.

all i can say is, i'm not perfect i make mistakes. i am only human. i hope everyone ive hurt reads this. i know i sound selfish but, i do appoligize .
-FG♥

____desperate @ 2005-09-14T18:45:00

2005-09-14T22:09:51Z

well, school this week, hasn't been the greatest.i mean not like my classes and stuff. i'm doing extremely well in my geometry class. its actually my favorite class right now. besides the fact that artan stares at me whenever i pass a paper back. history is too much work. i only have robyn in that class. she sits all the way across the room. drivers ed is easy. i'm doing well in that class SURPRISINGLY. my study, well i'm glad i've started talking to jessie and shanie again. i miss 7th grade and all the girls from 8th i was friends with. french is french. i'm gunna try alot harder in that class this year. blah. but yeah.

i cannot take this, i didn't even know brittany as well as others. and she's gone, it was all over the newspapers today. the wake is either going to be tomorrow or friday. and i cant fucking take it. i cant handle this. she was so fucking young, she had everything going for her i cant even being to feel what rebecca or willie or anyone feels. or her own mother. its just .. its not real.

i've realized. i have the greatest friends i could ever ask for. amanda and mesa and steff and britt and everyone, i am so glad i met them. they are the most amazing friends i could ever have. and how could i forget amy and deana and everyone. i mean, they have helped me through this week so much.

& boys, FUCK THEM. for all i care they can all fall in a hole. i'm so sick of being stepped on. if a boy wants to be with me, he can come to me. i'm sick of all of this half ass bullshit from everyone. the " i like you but i like so and so . ". i'm done with crushes. my heart can't take it. i'm just a hopeless romantic, and right now. i don't care.

____desperate @ 2005-09-12T20:52:00

2005-09-13T00:17:32Z

i can't even put into words how i feel right now. like no one understands. i just found out a girl who just graduated from my highschool died today. the scary part is, she was one of the cheering captains on varsity. i mean, i was on jv for a while. its so surreal, she was SO young. life isn't fair. its not fair, why does this have to happen to her of all people. i also found out something else that hit me really hard. someone close to me is dying. i can't really talk about it. but its so fucking scary, it just makes you think. - rest in peace brittany - we all love you.

____desperate @ 2005-09-07T15:49:00

2005-09-07T19:15:41Z

i give up on life, boys, and everything else. i have nothing going for me. i hate everything. i want to be happy. and i forgot how to be

____desperate @ 2005-08-02T00:15:00

2005-08-02T04:03:57Z

friends only. :]