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[20 Nov 2009|02:55am] |
tonight i cried again, thinking about how much i hate my major and how screwed i am as far as changing to business goes. then i decided to recheck the requirements for transferring in. turns out, all along i've been thinking those were the major-change requirements. no, those are the transfer student requirements. the ones for changing your major are a lot easier. well, sort of.
my new schedule (that i can't signed up for yet, just created) has two math classes, and economics class and a writing class (for general ed). my schedule is ugly. well, MWF are fucking awesome, but tuesday especially and thursday are gross. i can switch to business admin with a 2.7 overall, and a 3.0 average in the 7 required courses i take before i can transfer. after fall 2010, it says they're taking applications any time. it also says that there are very few spots, so if there are more applicants than spots they will look at what grades you got in the required classes.
so i'm not screwed at all. this is amazing and wonderful. the huge down side is that my fate now rests in my math abilities. this is very dangerous, especially because i basically have to get As, because i can't just pass and hope, i have to ace and KNOW i will get in, or at least give myself the best chance to. today i was venting to dylan about how i don't really try in college and i let myself do worse because i never had to try in high school, so i feel like things just fall into place and you can just get good grades without any work. but that isn't how things really work. and now i have a real chance to transfer into something i would rather be doing, even though that chance is based on math, which i am really bad at. i really hope these classes don't fill up when i can register, because i've finally realized the chance i have to get out of this major and into a better one.
winter will be the time where the most work i've probably ever done academically is required. it will be the time, if there ever has been one, to really fucking try.
(how fucked will i be if i get into business admin/management and end up hating that, too, eh?)
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[18 Nov 2009|08:57pm] |
texas just banned marriage.
tl;dr: texas passed something to ban gay marriage, and then added this statement to ban any civil unions or domestic partnerships or whatever:
"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."
except... marriage is identical to marriage, and now texas doesn't recognize it. gg.
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[04 Nov 2009|01:36am] |
i feel like because i have a boyfriend now, i'm not allowed to feel lonely anymore. when i was single i would read people on lj talking about how lonely they were and their boyfriend (always a boyfriend) would be involved somehow, and i would think "stop bitching, at least you have someone."
never when i am with him do i think, "damn, do i wish i had someone else's company," but whenever the subject of friends comes up it always makes me feel really sad. but i am way better off now than i was, say, in high school, when i really really didn't have anyone to make me feel less lonely for more than an afternoon every month or two. so i end up feeling not only sad about my social situation, but guilty (or not guilty but... not allowed?) about feeling that way.
on another note, i still don't like anything i am doing in college and have no idea what i would like to be doing instead. whenever the time comes around to plan my classes for next quarter, i get this little spark of hope, like maybe one of these classes i am planning right now will be the one that will make me realize what i want to do. it is not fun to just be going through the motions of classes and schoolwork instead of actually working toward a satisfying goal.
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[30 Oct 2009|04:45pm] |
cougar idea did not pan out.
corset/skirt/pumps + newly-purchased fairy wings/wand/fishnet stockings =
why, your fairy slutmother, of course!
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[29 Oct 2009|10:24pm] |
i had the size 13 jeans from pac sun and they got crazy baggy and then i finally fit into my 13 dickies. except within like 5 pounds they got unbearably loose to the point where i have to hold them up while i walk. i can't wear my belt tighter because i'm too big for it and even if i could, it makes the jeans bunch together weird. so i bought the exact same pair of jeans from pac sun, except size 11. they're a little too small for right now but at least the belt looks fine on the 4th hole. they're 2 for $55, but i only wanted one. individually they're $39.50 so fuck that. i bought the 11s and the same style of jeans in 9s for ~the future~. i am so cheap about jeans but also i don't like spending a lot of money on clothes i think/know are going to be temporary.
there's no real point to this story except i guess that it's pretty cool that at my highest i was a baggy 17, and now i'm buying 11s i can almost wear and 9s i can reasonably expect to wear in the somewhat near future.
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[28 Oct 2009|12:05pm] |
i think for halloween i might dress up as a cougar. i have a black corset, black short skirt, and boots. i guess a cougar would wear a denim miniskirt and some inappropriately young top, but whatever. how should i make it obvious that i'm a cougar and not just some other slut? besides hitting on young people in a raspy voice and offering them snacks after sex and asking how their days at school were.
though if you can think of something else for a black corset/skirt + boots, that's cool, too.
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[26 Oct 2009|01:27am] |
this girl on my facebook feed posted a quiz result with the comment "scary how fitting it is..." then i read the quiz result and it made me sad that this person was on my list:
April completed the quiz "Which movie romance do you fit into?" with the result Edward + Bella.
You're with the one who everyone loves...mysterious and caring. They don't want to hurt you because they care about you so much....but in the end...you'll have to do whats best for you....
:(:(:(:(:(
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[23 Oct 2009|08:12pm] |
Pam from True Blood is totally on this episode of Private Practice. IMDB won't help me prove it :'(
or at least, some actress who looks a shitton like her (i think)? :(:(
edit: JK IT'S TOTALLY HER SCORE. Kristin Bauer Danielle's Mom
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[23 Oct 2009|03:40pm] |
professor reading off the chalkboard: "...d) 5-HT. e) b, c and d are correct."
everyfuckingone in the lecture: "IS THAT A FIVE?"
..............YES IT'S A GODDAMN FIVE THANK YOU FOR LISTENING, EVER.
also, this girl in my french lit class, when reading something aloud from the text, ends each phrase in a higher tone like each phrase is a fucking question.
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[15 Oct 2009|07:51pm] |
me: dylan asked me if i still wanted the kind of salad dressing i get or if i wanted something else
me: and i said "i've grown accustomed to its taste"
me: and then was proud for subconsciously making such a classy reference
mom: atta girl!
lolz
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[06 Oct 2009|10:13pm] |
SHE'S NINE OH GOD
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[05 Oct 2009|09:44am] |
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music |
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desperate housewives, lol |
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out of my weight loss slump! 138.8 lbs :). PEACE OUT 140S.
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[22 Sep 2009|07:37pm] |
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music |
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dylan watching "The Young Turks" |
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i have anonymous commenting enabled on my journal. sometimes i get some anonymous criticisms. usually they are valid opinions, even if they are negative.
on my last post, i got this comment: "you'll probably gain all the weight back from losing it so fast."
it doesn't upset me because i know anonymous is wrong. it just weirds me out that someone would try to bring me down like that. i replied, "i didn't lose it "so fast," though. from may 08 to august 08 (3 months) i lost 25 pounds. from august 08 to may 09 i gained 8 pounds. from may 09 to september 09 (4 months) i lost 20 pounds. that's really not fast at all."
also, when i get to lower weights, it probably will take effort for me to maintain the weight, since clearly i don't have a naturally crazy fast metabolism. but when i get to that weight, it will be up to me to decide whether or not it's worth it, and i don't appreciate people telling me that i should just stop trying because it'll never last (i got another anonymous comment on a previous entry saying how i look cute chubby and i'll never maintain a low weight so i should just stay how i am).
weight loss is important to me. i am proud of the 39 pounds i have lost, and will continue to lose weight until i think i have lost enough (i have never been not-overweight so i really have no idea at what weight i should aim for). then, i will start to build muscle. i don't like how my body is right now, and i am working to change it. i don't understand why someone would intentionally make a comment trying to discourage me, in such a negative way. it's not like i was parading my weight loss in another community; they came here. :\?
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[20 Sep 2009|06:48pm] |
me: oh hey, last night i had a dream you prostituted yourself :\
my mom: never! I give it away for free.
;D
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[19 Sep 2009|09:14pm] |
A GOOD CANDID PHOTO? WHAT?
courtney, vanessa and i had a housewarming party last night. i got a lot of weight loss compliments so that was very nice. people got pretty drunk, so it was a success. i think that's how AAR parties are measured. the drunker people get, the better the party is. until a certain point, of course. my foot is really gross because i was standing in the yard for a while. but i still really like this picture.
ps. i'm holding diet coke. i very rarely drink, and even then by "drink" i mean "have a sip of someone's drink."
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[18 Sep 2009|12:24pm] |
i completely redid my fall quarter schedule. i decided that i should just stick with political science, maybe continue with japanese and start russian, and focus on international relations. wherever i go with it, it's easier to stay with my major than to waste time figuring out what i might wanna switch to, when for my master's i'd probably try to go business anyway.
my new schedule is ( pretty goddamn sweet )
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[14 Sep 2009|02:45am] |
i feel so dumb for it but i think this is fucking hilarious
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[10 Sep 2009|06:45pm] |
~140 lbs. ^_^
edit: down from 180 :D
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