| friends only |
[Saturday
February 18th, 2012; 8:44pm] |
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mood |
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ACESS |
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music |
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DENIED |
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LOCKED.
If you read this journal - you will basically know everything that goes on in my life.
If you want to be added, just add me first / comment & I will add you right back.
Happy reading. ♥
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| new yeaaaar |
[Wednesday
January 2nd, 2008; 11:21pm] |
kerin added me so she brought back a "livejournal flashback" if you will so i decided to post an entry.
so. it's 2008, i never thought this year would come, hahaha.
i don't really have any set "resolutions... i have some goals i guess but i don't really want to call them resolutions because then i will probably neglect them. i want to go to the gym more, i feel like i'm wasting my membership, haha. and i want to stop smoking, or at least get to the point when i don't feel like i need one. it's not really the nicotene, i don't think -- it's just the habit of having one when i drive around or like go out to eat or something, just action itself not really the chemicals. i've been doing good with that so far cuz i've only had two in the past two days and that's a big deal for me. :)
vacation was so nice. i didn't really do much of anything, but that was the best part. i just literally sat around like all vacation and just relaxed and watched my grey's anatomy season three and hung out with people i love and what not. it was nice. nothing of significance really occurred. me stu & lea went to dinner at border cafe (we got dressed up & stuff & i must say we looked hot) and had a sleep over at stu's and exchange xmas presents and attempted to get drunk. it was very fun and like the main event of my vacation. well drunken nights at sams were amazing too, with uno & apples to apples & lots and lots of beer.
new year's eve was okay. i figured it was going to be another boring disappointing days but at like 10:30 me and nick went to frankie & pat's apartment and hung out with everybody. i drank a bottle of arbor mist within the hour and a half i was there and i was fine but the glass of champagne i had when i got back to nick's did not sit with me so well because i woke up at like 5am and was naseaus until i puked at 7. haha. not so good. but yeah.. back to frankie & pat & matt's -- chris was there and a bunch of wonderful people i hadn't seen in forever and we sat around and sang really loud with the ipod and we all hugged and stuff when the ball dropped.
but anyway.. i should be getting to bed considering this is the LAST NIGHT of vacation and newman will be waiting for me tomorrow. ughh i really don't want to go bacccckkkk. i'm not ready, i've had such an amazing vacation and now it has to be over and tainted by newman.
ughh.
good niiight :)
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[Saturday
August 11th, 2007; 2:23pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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everything i own - n'sync? |
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i don't want to go to college. i just want to stay here where i am right now... my summer break in between junior & senior year. i don't want to go back to newman. the whole oxford shirt thing & the elimination of polos blows. and all of the good people left or are switching positions so everything's gunna be hectic this year.
durn's gone... my beautiful guitar & harmonica/singing wonderful lover.. he's gone.
powell's gone... the greatest black man to ever walk the halls of newman. i wish he would stay for our senior year but i don't blame him for wanting to leave.
dave medvitz is gone... the computer geek jew. i love him. i will miss him & his violin or whatever he played.
hmmmph. and mr. ohman is now mrs. o'meara so that's gunna be really strange. PALS is gunna be retarded & i can't even do yearbook cuz i'm stuck doing fucking PALS which i really don't even want to participate in. they didn't even contact any of the PALS this summer for stuff for orientation. i feel bad for the incoming freshmen cuz they're orientation is gunna blow.
i'm so scared of this year. i have a feeling it's gunna absolutely suck and i don't want to go looking at colleges & doing applications & writing essays. i'm not ready yet. i just want to stay like this... then where do i go when i do go to college? i kind of wanted to leave massachusetts just because i know if i don't take that chance now i probably never will and i will probably never see anywhere besides boston & like new hampshire. then nick is a huge factor, because i know that even though i'm still in high school & he's still young.. if we're still together by the time i have to choose a school - i'm not gunna know what to do. there's no way i could ever leave him.. no way. but at the same time, i can't really let him choose my life for me.
i don't know. there's so much shit i have to do that i haven't put enough thought into yet. there's so much stuff i wanna do that i'm not gunna have time for. like going to the gym.. which i've been doing but i don't know how i'm gunna be able to go to school, then to the gym.. and i HAVE to find a job. my job at the senior center ends next week and i'm gunna need money. then i'm gunna have to pay for college myself when i do go.. and how the hell can anybody that's just starting college be able to afford it? i don't understand any of this college bullshit. i don't even know how to go about applying places.... i have no idea how i'm going to write a bunch of essays, fill out applications, work, go to the gym, and do all of the fucking homework i know newman is going to pile on this year. uggggh.
i don't want to go to school. i wish i could just stay right here.. at nick's house, doing absolutely nothing productive like i have been all summer. it went by way too fast. and i didn't see/hang out with most of the people i wanted to. i didn't do a lot of the things i planned on doing. i really need to organize my life and all of the shit that comes with it. i just don't know how.
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[Sunday
June 4th, 2006; 3:19pm] |
"drama doesn't follow me, it rides on my back."
that statement sums up my life in a nutshell.
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okay