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| Time: | 1:10 pm. |
| Mood: |  creative. | | Music: | gregorian chants imagined as i try to fall asleep. |
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dear mom,
thanks for the pads. could you bring me my jewelry kit and stationary?
i'm bored. thanks.
love, sissy
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 5:57 pm. |
| Mood: |  listless. |
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i've got ten minutes.
i'm hooked up to wires and bruises for the sake of science and cash. [whenever i write the word 'sake' i think of rice wine, then honey wine, then all sorts of fruit and flower wine..] i'm not having fun and i'm trying to not relish too much in my opportunity for slothfulness, which i fight myself battling. a lot. i get lazy when i stay in one spot for too long, which is why i'm here for a minute as a means to get moving.
i'll be on the road for a while. i won't tell you where i'm going until i get there. trying to get rid of the notion of tomorrow and focusing my other eyes on looking at this world in a less daunting way. i had a very interesting conversation with an old friend [that lead to an attempt at helping another with this notion] about our perspectives. i feel as if i've become the very polar opposite of narrow minded, which can be as equally challenging. i'm losing focus, looking outward [which is better than an inverted distortion, i think] with such a HUGE world view and it's difficult to handle
the weight of the world.
the world weighs too much for one girl. and it's okay.
i'm leaving for now because i can't do it alone. if i'm in one place for good, i need support. i don't know why i left denver. a whim, i guess. timing, maybe. memories, perhaps.
i'll be back around. you can count on that.
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sooo...
i'm gonna do this again. get ready.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, September 27th, 2007
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| Time: | 9:03 am. |
| Mood: |  calm. | | Music: | kids playing in the background. |
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livejournal is far too underrated. no spam, no dumb bands trying to add you, just checking in every once in a while. the only thing is that it has all these associations with how much i wasted my junior year away. but that's so far gone, so here i am, CHECKING IN.
i'm in Denver at last. it took a lot of fussing and fighting to get here, an incredible amount of faith and courage and strength. i got in a fight with my mom at the last minute, but greg had a dream that we were talking, and both incredibly happy. initiative, i think, on my part is what that will take. saying goodbye to greg was bittersweet, all this time between us but really, so much to do. my intentions for him remain the same, and it's okay if i need reminded, from time to time, how much how big how strong. above all we are family, and that is what i really need.
this time away will be good. not in relation to greg, but in the scheme of myself, my life. i live in an amazing space with amazing people with amazing projects and intentions and Denver is great. i'll never be bored. i feel like it happened at the perfect time, too, so, here i am i suppose.
here i am.
checking in.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, March 1st, 2007
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i don't really care when i end up at home tonight. i'm relieving myself of the pressure to constantly work. after all, i am now thoroughly self employed, despite being a student.
i got up and showered, dressed and left. went to the parking lot where the shuttle picks up for school. no cars- snow day. i went back home. on a typical occassion i would have crashed right back into bed, but typically i do not take showers. since i was all fresh and fragranced i felt i had to stay up. i went to my desk, made some more earrings, and decided to organize. so i got something done today, by 10am, no less. i feel a little bit more in control of the debris that surrounds me, as much as it rather controls me.
i decided to read a little which usually always results in me drifting off to sleep. i woke up to mom pounding on the door at 2pm. perfect timing, really. got up and talked to her, which was long past due. she brought me girl scout cookies and my rent [which i hate to admit, but since starting school, there was a gap in my own income and loaned living expenses].
bought some zines today. read one, too. i have a bunch of stuff by a guy named Wolfi Landstreicher that i got from Quiver Distro. read something today called 'The Politics of Life', outlining ways to seperate anarchist revolution from leftist struggle, and reasons why we should. the difference is so inherently obvious, but the actual read itself is pretty dense. i've got a lot of his material saved on my computer, but just haven't got through it all because there is a terrible amount of information. i guess it's all just in the progress of educating myself. good stuff.
did order some more leisurely reading. here's what i got from Stranger Danger Distro:
No Snow Here #9
Pretend It Didn't Happen And Maybe It Will Go Away #12
Go Fuck Yourself
  
i'm pretty excited. the last two weeks were pretty good for mail, i'm hoping that my Etsy endeavor will continue to harbor all of my vices, albeit healthy. though when one's skin turns a little pale from lack of sun exposure from reading so much, another starts to wonder...
oh, it's a good day after all. despite adding two more things to the list of projects started and not finished, i'm beginning to see all my hard work paying off. and school is challenging me. all is well. sorry my phone is still off. i'm working on it.
hanna, i miss you.
heidi, i miss you more. though i think you bailed on this livejournal thing a long time ago.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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check email and myspace
put load in washer
put air in bike tires
go to nabi
go to post office
come back, put load in dryer
do all dishes in bedroom
play lots of sub debs
get rid of beer bottles
make skirt
wear skirt
pay cell bill
read tom robbins
write in my journal
call somebody
banana bread and apple sauce
soup
pasta and more soup?
lots of water.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, November 4th, 2006
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| Time: | 2:11 am. |
| Mood: |  cranky. | | Music: | dandy warhols : we used to be friends. |
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what a taxing day.
six months on monday. i guess that means something. but not when i'm dead and gone.
i'm in kind of a morbid mood.
on the bright side, i made my first sale in my shop today.
visit me.
The Cherry Pit
bottle cap barrettes, craft supplies, jewelry, and more!!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 4:27 pm. |
| Mood: |  full. | | Music: | hank III : honky tonk women. |
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i'm moving to nashville so fuck all y'all.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 20th, 2006
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| Time: | 4:01 pm. |
| Mood: |  disappointed. | | Music: | broken social scene : capture the flag. |
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my opinion about people is changing.
i used to be able to give my heart to them, i wanted to find that in everybody, a sense of belonging, that is.
now all i want to do is stay home with my fish and answer the few phone calls i get each week.
i do what i can to keep myself happy, but with a door slammed in my face constantly, it's becoming harder and harder to reach down for the handle. i don't want to know what's on the other side any more.
i just want to find a way to be happy with the people i have.
sometimes i think that i would be fine by myself.
i'm finding out how wrong i tend to be.
i've been so wrong about everybody.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 30th, 2006
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| Time: | 10:00 pm. |
| Mood: | heartfelt. | | Music: | the gossip : listen up!. |
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this is my once-a-monther.
life is moving on. still at the same job, living downtown, figuring people out.
there is evil everywhere. but it seems that i've developed quite a filter. i'm grateful to have that kind of wisdom.
a lot of mysteries still remain, of course, but more of those will solve themselves. the answers must unfold. besides, i'm a little tired of digging in the ground for them.
i like myself today.
i've proven a lot lately, i've met my newfound expectations. and isn't that amazing?
not just that i've met them, but that i even HAVE them. i think that genuinely rules.
we all have such a great effect on one another, and i've seen my effect on others, and i've realized that i haven't really been living with consideration. i see how many others around me live the same way and are completely oblivious to it. i've learned from these people.
i know what i deserve.
and i know that i should demand it.
you can't change people, but you can change what you surround yourself with. getting rid of all the bullshit and putting in the place of it things worth celebrating seems like quite the task, but if you want something bad enough, you can get it.
it's whatever you feed into.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
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MOST MEN ARE DOUCHEBAGS.
and if i go back, y'all can dropkick my head into a brick wall.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 9th, 2006
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so here i am, back again,
just to say that it is possible to get your heart broken
and fall in love
at the same time.
it's that 'constant state of motion' thing that i've been so hooked on.
everybody's still just trying to do the best they can.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:35 pm. |
| Mood: |  stoned. | | Music: | nada surf : fruit flies. |
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i'm cleaning out my livejournal.
comment if you want to stay on my friends list.
keep in mind that most of my posts are friends only so if later
on, you just want to check up on me, you probably wont be able to do it.
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Comments: Read 33 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 5:27 pm. |
| Mood: | chipper. | | Music: | caviar : sugarless. |
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life is accelerating.
i wish i had the chance to fall in love
with everybody here that i wished to.
[that might be you.]
how will you stay warm when hell freezes over?
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 4th, 2005
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this weekend had it's natural ups and downs.
i got in a huge fight with myself
but the better half won.
talked to my baby, lots.
i'll see him soon.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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| Time: | 8:04 pm. |
| Music: | 98 mute : slow motion riot. |
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you know, when i come to think of it, nobody has really cared about what i have to say.
this is my 'Poor Me' post.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 21st, 2005
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| Time: | 5:49 pm. |
| Mood: | satisfied. | | Music: | country. |
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the first night here will go down in history,
the history that noone but me gets to see.
last night quenched my thirst for good conversation,
broadened horizons,
and a sense of place.
and tonight should be equally as good.
it's good to get out.
and i think that when i get back
i will have a better outlook and perspective.
maybe it will be temporary, but for now,
it's all good.
and i am so stoned right now.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, November 17th, 2005
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| How to make a stephane motherfucking tanner |
Ingredients:
1 part jealousy
5 parts brilliance
5 parts ego |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add fitness to taste! Do not overindulge! |
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:36 pm. |
| Mood: | pms-ing. |
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if i dont come up and talk to you in public
i probably don't like you.
for those of you who didn't know,
i'm going to NASHVILLE on saturday
with ciara lace.
you have no fucking clue.
and today i want to punch the world's throat off it's body.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, November 14th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:13 pm. |
| Mood: | jubilant. |
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my friend christopher made this for me.
so it wasn't my idea.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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