I'm not completely sure yet, but, the more time goes by, the more I'm feeling like I've been rejected.
I looked up and found a really old friend of mine that I've wanted to find for a long time. I sent him an email the other night, but, still haven't heard from him. I'm not sure if he uses the Internet much, it honestly doesn't seem like it, but, I think most people do so I'd like to think he would have checked his email at some point yesterday/today.
This isn't anything like my Ahmed/Devon drama from the past. I absolutely never want to go through anything like what I put myself through during those years ever again, and I'll do my best to avoid any such drama for the rest of my life.
That said, it's been a long time since this friend of mine and I have spoken or stayed in touch, so I can only speculate what he's like now, how he's changed, and what kind of family he has now.
I'd love to get in touch with him and catch up though. I think about him sometimes and have semi-frequently over the years.
So, the more time goes by, the more I'm preparing myself for the rejection it looks like I'm going to/have probably received. Obviously rejection itself is nothing new to me, but, this particular person rejecting me I think would make me fairly sad as I we were EXTREMELY close and had such a crazy strong bond with each other. I know that he will probably remember that, but, he may well be a completely different person now.
The crazy thing is, when I found listings for his previous addresses, he was in AZ shortly after I left, he was in CA while I was there, and, he was in Milwaukee for quite some time while I was living in WI and when I did go down to Milwaukee on occasion. In fact, I stayed at a hotel maybe ten miles away from where he lived while he lived there. And now, now he lives not far from my grandfather. It's such a small world.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but, definitely preparing myself for the possibility that I won't be able to reconnect with him because so much time has gone by.
The last time he and I spoke though, we were on really good terms, so, I hope that is still the case. :)
I'll keep hope in my heart but accept rejection in my mind... :(
Oh and, this has absolutely nothing to do with ANY romantic interest whatsoever, and I do not want nor would I ever to jeopardize my relationship, nor my friend's relationship. This is strictly wanting to re-connect with someone I was very good friends with at a point in my life when it meant so much to me.
Well, here's hoping...
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