At this. Whole... journal thing. It's only been two months since I last wrote in this. I know that no one reads this anymore, and that it's kind of just for me now. Which I like. I'm kinda okay with it.

At the moment, I'm currently in my hometown, but I've spent (roughly) the past nine months away at college. It's been a wonderful time. I can't say it was the happiest, because obviously, shit happens. But don't get me wrong; this isn't a negative post. It's been good. I've met a lot of good people. And I've discovered a lot of things about myself. Like,

1) I want to be with a man because I crave the affection (because, well... duh), and the neglect (something about wanting a man that doesn't want you back, if that makes any sense. At all.).

2) I need to learn how to respect myself. I am learning to look at myself in the mirror and see that I do think that I'm beautiful, and be able to admit that to anyone else. I think my opinion of myself has yet to catch up with what I truly look and feel like. I have days where I feel absolutely beautiful (rather than insecure for once), but then I worry about what everyone else thinks.

3) If I want to get better anything, I have to goddamn practice for once. Like singing.

4) I need to keep on finding happiness in simpler things in life. And I need to stop using constant transformation and materialism as a way to fill a void.

5) I want to get back to my literature roots. And my music roots.

6) And stop... worrying as much. It's killing me.

I probably have a bunch of other things too. But it's okay. Everything is okay. I'm going to go just enjoy some good music right now.