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- I take summers off 'cause I love winter beef (
_7_year_bitch_) wrote,
- Mood:
exhausted
WRONG. I was left with "Well the truth of the matter is that I did like you a whole lot Lyndsay, and we may have had something really good here, but I guess it's too late now". NOT what I wanted to hear.
He told me SO MUCH last night though, things I knew he was holding back but things he never even hinted to. That's how well I know him. We were talking about whose fault it is that our plans always fall through (he says mine, I say his...it's both I'll admit it), and he asked "Tell me this...did you even have feelings for me?". I said yes, why would you ask something like that. And then calm compliant Andres says "Well then why the fuck have we not been together all this time? I waited and waited and you never came through".
That's all true. It is. So this whole time I've been sitting here calling Andres a deadbeat, he's been saying the same thing about me.
I've never pushed for anything like this before, but I feel like I have no choice. I can't see myself with anyone else. Sure, there have been times, many times, where I've been attracted to someone and forgot about Andres for a few weeks...but we've always gone back to each other. I've never been like this with anyone, I've never CARED for anyone like I do for Andres. I can honestly say I don't give a shit about anyone I've been with in the past. I don't have love for them on any level, it's not like I have hard feelings, I just don't have any emotion for them.
I don't know. He's going to see Andrew in Florida for three weeks on Wednesday, and I probably won't see him before then. I think it will be good for us. We'll both get some time to chill out and collect ourselves. He'll get to talk to Andrew to get some perspective about the situation.
I don't know, I have faith in our relationship, I really do. So whatever happens happens I guess.