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Either my penis is too small or her vagina was too loose. [Jul. 30th, 2005|01:19 am]
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I started dating this girl. Everyone I know says she a bit slutty, but I don't really think so, I just think she's generous with her body. Isn't that what God wants, us to be generous? Anyway, she's a cutie, so I asked her out and she agreed to be courted by me.

I took her to a movie and then we went back to her place. I was going to take her to dinner, too, but she's slutty, I didn't think I needed the dinner to get her undressed. You know what, I was right. The second we got through the door at her place, we were all over each other. She did this thing that I hated, she licked my ear. It was like a Wet Willy, but so much worse. A Wet Willy can be compared to having someone pour a cup of water on you, this was like a whole friggen bucket. We kissed some more and she tried to go in for another Ear Willy, but I stopped her. I said let's take this upstairs.

I ran upstairs ahead of her. I was really running away from those ear washings she was giving me. I went into her room and she came in behind me. She ran towards me with her tongue out and I grabbed her in a weird type of hug. Don't waste it on the ear, I told her. She smiled. She knew what I meant, and I didn't mean stamps. We stripped each other down and she started making fun of my Dragon Ball Z boxers. She stopped that once I threatened to punch her in the face. With most girls, this would have ruined the moment, but not this one. She sort of laughed it off and jumped on top of me.

My penis was in launch position and she lowered herself down on it. I didn't feel anything. No warmth, no vagina, nothing. I asked her if I was in and she said she didn't know. I guess she couldn't feel it either. We both narrowed our eyes at each other. You loose slut, I yelled. At the same time, she yelled, "I can't even feel your small penis." I pushed her off of me. No one insults me penis when it's inside of them. "Get out of here, smurf dick," she yelled. I put my hand up to her, she knew what it meant. I went downstairs and headed towards the door. Before I left, I wiped my butt on one of her curtains.

I really don't know if it's my small penis or her super loose vagina. I suppose it could be the combination of the two, but I'm worried. If it's my penis, I'm in trouble
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Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2012-09-29 02:34 pm (UTC)

loose pussy

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there is nothing wrong with a loose pussy. They are great to go down on and suck.
From: (Anonymous)
2012-12-09 04:22 pm (UTC)

Your small penis

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Don't worry, your huge dickhead more than makes up for it
From: (Anonymous)
2013-01-11 03:29 pm (UTC)

wow you are so awesome !

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i think you are a virgin a retard and a lier :)
From: (Anonymous)
2013-04-25 09:26 am (UTC)

I'm a girl

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That shit was hilarious