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After a mysterious block of wood was spotted on an iceberg in the Arctic, a grand piano has been spotted sitting on a sandbar in Biscane Bay, Florida.

"How and why the piano got there is a mystery. A grand piano weighs at least 650 pounds and is unwieldly to move...This much is clear, however: The piano isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Unless it becomes a danger to wildlife or boaters, authorities have no plans to haul it away."



Pictured: Fearless mayor of drug-ravaged Mexican town and her many stab / gunshot wound scars from multiple assassination attempts from drug lords. Her husband was murdered, she lives in constant physical pain, has to use a colostomy bag; yet many do not believe she has ever been harmed and that she's making up stories.

"But despite being scarred physically and mentally by the attacks, the extraordinarily brave Mrs Gorrostieta remains defiant. 'I wanted to show you my wounds because I'm not ashamed that my body is mutilated like this,' she said.... 'There are some that have said I made these attacks up. But I did not and now I show the physical proof to those who have doubted me. But I can't quit, not when I have three children whom I have to teach by example. 'Beside that I have the memories of my husband, the father of my children who knew how to teach the value of things and fight for them."



Pictured: Mexican cross-border weed catapult.

"A remote video surveillance system captured drug smugglers using a catapult to launch packages of pot over the Mexico/US border. According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, US National Guard troops coordinated with Mexican authorities to halt the operation."



The United States of Shame: What's your state the best at being the worst at?




Iranian newspapers photoshop British missiles.

Headline by Fark.



Canadian authorities are investigating after a solid block of ice with a dog inside was found on a British Columbia man's front lawn.




Did you miss the Octomom? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, she's back in the news after going all dominatrix and whipping an LA radio personality on film, and then being shocked that this could be seen in a negative light.




Did you miss Ted Haggard? Me neither. Anyway, he recently spoke to TPM, said he's probably what the kids call "bisexual" (ORLY?) and he totally smoked up all that meth (ORLY?) but it was only so he could jerk off to porn for longer, you see.




30 real quotes from "Crazy Eyes" Michelle Bachmann.

Via Joe My God.


Ten million dollar shove, caught on video.
"While walking through Belltown, he was wrongly identified by a witness as a suspect in a bloody bar fight that had resumed inside a nearby convenience store... Clad in black tactical uniforms, they pursued him for two blocks until Paul was able to deliver a hit to Harris' chest, slamming him into the concrete wall and leaving him paralyzed for life."

Hitler's personal bodyguard says he is overwhelmed with all the incessant fan mail. Fan mail?

"Sex Offender Blockbusting:" A paper detailing how to use sex offenders to hack property values for profit.
"I now think of registered sex offenders as roving Groupons for home flippers. Wentland and his coauthors provide strong evidence that you could make a lot of money persuading an ex-cellmate to move near a nice, four bedroom home in rural Virginia, and then to move away after you’ve bought the home.
Maybe when the real estate market picks up again people will start doing this. Indeed, I sort of hope they do since my impression is that these sex offender databases should probably be done away with and screwing with people’s real estate value seems like the most likely way to make that happen."


A Vietnam veteran suffering from a bone cancer blamed on exposure to Agent Orange was dropped from his health insurance for a two-cent shortfall on a premium payment, only to have the insurance reinstated when the story became public.

Uganda: Gay activist David Kato murdered after outing by local paper.

Two Antarctic minke whale species have been getting kinky, cross-breeding and creating a new species of whale.

This article is worthless without pics, dammit.

Gas station's metal awning collapses from the weight of too much bird poop.

Actual headline: Son accused of letting maggots eat mom to death.

Dog Takes Two Bullets to Save the Life of His Owner.

Actual Headline: Carnivorous Plants Eat Poop From Tiny Bats.
"In a bizarre example of a symbiotic relationship, tiny bats in Borneo have been found using a carnivorous plant as a toilet, feeding the pitcher plant with their droppings, while they safely roost in the plant’s traps."

Bank of England: Standard of Living to Plunge at Fastest Rate Since 1920s.

5-foot-long monitor lizard found strolling down the streets of California neighborhood.
"Black-throated Monitor lizards are carnivorous, legal to own in California and native to the African grasslands and parts of Asia. Juveniles go for about $100 in pet stores, but they grow. Back at the shelter, staff found the reptile was well-behaved for a Monitor lizard."

Will.i.am yesterday: Member of hip-hop group Black Eyed Peas. Will.i.am today: Director of Creative Innovation at Intel.

Tea Party-backed GOP state Rep. Carl Wimmer wants the Browning semi-automatic to be named Utah's official state gun. This model Browning is very similar to the gun used in Arizona's massacre.

Does the moon have military value?

Woman has a car stolen from her twice in one day, leading to a police chase that ends in a horrific crash.

Man fathers child at 14, man's daughter then fathers child at 14, making man the world's youngest grandfather.

A despirate Turkish man living in Germany has turned to the police for protection from his insatiable wife's constant demands for sex, authorities said yesterday.

Toyota recalling 1.7 million vehicles worldwide.

Arsonist leaves behind tip for police. A fingertip, that is. Surprisingly, Florida.

Barbara Nitke's behind the scenes documentary photos of 80s-90s porn. [nsfw]

Malaysia has released 6,000 genetically modified mosquitoes designed to combat dengue fever, in a landmark trial slammed Wednesday by environmentalists who say the experiment is unsafe.
Still, more than India has ever done / is doing about the disease.

A delightful gallery of the insides of a German dildo factory.

British engineer designs his own heart valve implant, saves his own life with it.

Charlotte woman charged with slavery.

Can you hear me now? How animals all over the world are adapting to overcome human-made noise.

Woman hangs up on $10,000 call from Apple.

Thirteen Techniques for Truth Suppression.
 
 
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