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_53
13 July 2009 @ 05:02 pm
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Once upon a time, in some out of the way corner of that universe which is dispersed into numberless twinkling solar systems, there was a star upon which clever beasts invented knowing.

The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness.

The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad.

I tell you: one must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star.

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

It is true: we love life not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving.

But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful! They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangman and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice! Verily, their souls lack more than honey. And when they call themselves the good and the just, do not forget that they would be Pharisees, if only they had power.

What is it: is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

"Faith" means not wanting to know what is true.


I know my fate. One day my name will be associated with the memory of something tremendous — a crisis without equal on earth, the most profound collision of conscience, a decision that was conjured up against everything that had been believed, demanded, hallowed so far. I am no man, I am dynamite.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

For out of fear and need each religion is born, creeping into existence on the byways of reason.

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

Without music, life would be a mistake.

We have art in order not to die of the truth.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Friedrich_Nietzsche

"The degree of introspection achieved by Nietzsche had never been achieved by anyone, nor is it ever likely to be achieved again." (Variant: Freud several times said of Nietzsche that he had a more penetrating knowledge of himself than any other man who ever lived or was likely to live.)
- Sigmund Freud on Neitzsche.
 
 
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Rage Against the Machine
 
 
_53
13 July 2009 @ 10:28 am

A collection of people who became successful artists after suffering strokes, brain injuries and brain tumors.

Jon Sarkin was a chiropractor who liked golf. Then one day, while playing a round with a friend, he burst a blood vessel in his brain. Suddenly, the man whose life had been so socially proper and orderly became a passionate artist, loud and expressive, who has not stopped compulsively creating artwork since the first day he felt the relentless, insistent need to do it. His work blends painting, poetry and song lyrics with cut-out images to create collages that convey a sense of mystery and abandon.



A gallery of kick-ass futuristic mobile home trailer things.




Tiny dog walks around for three days with forK buried in head.



Why Nokia gets no love in the USA.

Breaking news: Japan's PM dissolves parliament.

Florida bank sues itself, denies the charges.
Seriously.

Exhaustive study by the Pentagon reveals that smoking is bad for you.

Former sumo wrestler turned TV presenter criticizes rival sumo wrestler for looking too fat.
Wouldn't that be a compliment in that sport?

250 young children die in intensely cold weather in Peru which experts blame on climate change.

Scientists discover that swearing is a natural painkiller.
 
 
Current Mood: horny
Current Music: The sound of transcriptionists typing furiously
 
 
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Blind man has sight restored after docs transplant a tooth into his eye. Wait, what?

"I met my wife when I was blind and when I found out there was a chance I would get my sight back the first person I wanted to see was her," said Mr Jones, from Broom, Rotherham. "The doctors took the bandages off and it was like looking through water and then I saw this figure and it was her. She's wonderful and lovely. It was unbelievable to see her for the first time... The first car I saw when my sight was restored was a Smart car and I couldn't stop laughing – I'd never seen one before and I thought it had been chopped in half.
Warning: this story is so sweet it might give you Diabetes.



High heeled marathon, AKA The Running of the Ditzes, hailed as success.




SHOCK! Apparently Osama Bin Laden is a pretty terrible father, according to his son. Who'd have thought?

OSAMA BIN LADEN'S son Omar first realized the depth of his father's evil when his beloved dogs were taken away and gassed in a chemical warfare experiment, he says in a new memoir. Omar also confirms what U.S. officials have long believed - that his father was tipped off to a 1998 U.S. attempt to kill him.



15-year-old idiot falls into manhole while texting.




Behold, the Michael Jackson Thriller vibrator.




Man loses 410 pounds.




High-ranking insurance PR flack defects, explains dirty tricks used to fight universal healthcare.

"A high-placed insider (ex VP of PR at Cigna) describes the machinations the insurance industry has used to keep us from getting a decent health care system." This guy literally wrote the talking-points memo that the anti-universal-health-care crowd uses. He had a conversion experience and has now come clean.



Oklahoma family killed by tornado... While vacationing in Canada. Eh?



10 strangest bars.

2009 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winners announced, awarding and showcasing the worst written fiction this year.

Cracked.com: 5 Modern Sports That Started As Excuses for Sex and Violence.

Clairvoyant arrested for pretending to send text messages from the dead to grieving clients.
Police here in northwestern Italy have arrested a self-styled clairvoyant on charges of fraud for allegedly sending SMS text messages to a client`s cellphone and telling her they were from her late father.

6 professional football / soccer athletes are waiting tensely on test results after they all had sex with a groupie who later found out she has HIV.

Taekwondo athlete and Olympics hopeful opens brothel to help fund his campaign.

Three weeks after getting out of jail, man robs bank, tries to hitch a ride in a cop's car.

Columbia County Couple Receives Warning For Nude Sunbathing In Church Cemetery.

20 years after sending their police officer father to prison for molesting them, two of his children tell a judge that they made it all up because other cops bought them ice cream.

If you head the state's Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiative, you may not want to post reviews of 17-year old prostitutes online.

Respected and liked physics teacher suddenly snaps in class, beats student half to death, is about to get attempted murder charge.

Woman uses toilet, drops her gun, it goes off, shooting the woman in the stall next to her. Florida.

Man fined for punching a punching bag that punched him back. Wait, what?

Woman set to marry man she tried to stab to death after catching him with his pants down showing off an old gardening injury to her best friend.

"Victims were attempting to back a large vehicle onto their lot and were blocking traffic as they did. The suspect, angered by this, got out of his vehicle and exposed his penis to the victims."
 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Massive Attack - Risingson (Otherside mix)
 
 
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12 July 2009 @ 08:30 pm
 
 
Current Mood: drunk
 
 
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11 July 2009 @ 06:50 pm

Short Documentary Shows Toxic Trail of "Recycled" E-Waste Leads Overseas.




Canadian town sign vandalized, made much more awesome.




The head of Spain's spy agency gets into scandal involving taking fishing trips on taxpayer money; offers hilariously bad Photoshopped image as proof of innocence; gets fired.




Seven animals that you'd be surprised to learn can actually fly.




The world's largest man-made crater.



Teacher sends kids home with sex tape of herself, isn't fired.

Flags of forgotten countries: A gallery.

Actual headline: Elephant buttock moisturiser a success.

Woman gets arrested for speeding, immediately lights up crack pipe.

Saudi family sues "genie" in court for harassment.
This just in: apparently, genies are real according to Muslim theology.

The parents of 150 students are demanding that ten students be expelled immediately because they're HIV+.

If you plan on having sex in a parked car, get rid of the mobile meth lab in it first.

Man who was blind for 15 years and regained his sight in a medical miracle decides to show people walking alone on the street that they are vulnerable by flashing them his junk.
According to the criminal complaint, Eau Claire Police say in early June, a woman saw 49-year-old Renay G. Poirier of Eau Claire exposing himself in his car. Officers say when they questioned Poirier he told them when he sees people walking alone, he takes steps to show them they are vulnerable. The complaint says Poirier told officers he did that to help raise awareness that there are bad people out there hiding in the weeds. Officers say Poirier also covered his license plate with a piece of cardboard.

Teenager beaten up by her family over her bellybutton ring. Bonus: She was beaten up for removing it.

Michael Moore to release a romantic comedy entitled "Capitalism: A Love Story."

Psychology student and university issue press release entitled "Promiscuous men more likely to rape." The Telegraph takes that and runs a story entitled "Women who dress provocatively more likely to be raped, claim scientists."
JOURNALISMFAIL.

Carpenter saws off own penis.

Remember the Penis Pump Judge who got fired after repeatedly using his penis pump while court was in session? He's now suing for a benefits package.

McDonald's menus from all over the world.
Wish they had this much diversity here.

Law student fakes identity to get herself a pair of fake tits.

Florida man attempts to trim tree, gets electrocuted.

Florida church puts up sign saying “Islam is of the Devil”; hilarity ensues.

Man gets tattoo of praying hands and the text "only God can judge me," then runs out without paying tattoo artist.

English village want to hire full time witch on a salary of $80,000 a year.

Four-year-old girl hijacks forklift, goes on joyride, wrecks stuff up.

New hotness: Offering sexual services in exchange for Michael Jackson memorial tickets on Craigslist.

Tap water is subject to more Federal regulations than bottled water.
More evidence that bottled water is another clever ripoff.

Supermax prison officials, citing guidance from the FBI, determined that passages in Obama's books "Dreams from My Father" and "The Audacity of Hope" contain information that could damage national security.

German zoo admits that in hindsight, that naming their monkey "Obama" may have been a bad idea.

Octomom claims her house is haunted by a ghost kid that calls her "mommy."

2001: Teacher fired for sleeping with student. 2003: Hired again by same school. 2006: Fired again for same reason. 2009: Hired again.

Manager stressed out about losing his job, so he does the logical thing and burns the office to the ground.

Naked drunk driver admits to cops he has no idea where his pants are.

Drunk man leads cops on 12 mph chase after his girlfriend pepper sprayed him and left the nightclub they were at without him.

Taxi driver commits suicide by self-decapitation in front of 24-hour cafe.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
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Cracked.com: 15 Ill-Conceived Displays of Patriotism.

Also: 5 bizarre sexual conditions that can ruin your life.



Dozens of US Military personnel spotted on Nazi networking site.

Screengrab: In his "about me" section, newsaxon.org user "SoldatAMG" describes himself as a "Sergeant in USMC stationed at Camp Lejeune (...) recently returned from my 3rd trip to Iraq. I fight every day to stem the tide of multicultturalism and to ensure that my children have a better world. SIEG HEIL!"



Baby goose gets bionic leg.




Top 10 incredibly ironic ads from history.

My favorite is the Dow Chemical / Union Carbide / Bhopal one.



iPhone app game lets you squash Wall Street bankers.

Squash the $treet is a game for your iPhone that enables you to express your violent dislike of all those smarmy bankers that Americans like to blame for the economic collapse.


Woman with deadly heart condition gets struck by lightning, survives, then finds out her heart was cured by said lightning strike.

Man shows up for dentist's appointment days late. Oh, and naked, too.

Man with 16 guns, rolls car, stabs cop, steals cop's car, runs off to remote location, rapes elderly woman, kills self.

75 year old woman clobbers baby deer to death with shovel.

Urine drenched possibly insane tourist laughs, hands out thousands of euros to strangers for no good reason.

Michael Jackson to be buried without his brain.

2 year old flies out of speeding car, mom doesn't notice, keeps driving.

Ukranian water company turns off sewer services for non-payment.

Family in trouble for spraying their pee all over town to get back their lost dog.

Turtles cross airport runway, shut down airport for over an hour.

Meanwhile, drunk badger disrupts German traffic.

Death by chocolate: Factory worker falls into vat of chocolate, dies.

13 year old girl uses hotel pool, gets pregnant.
I smell bullshit.

Man accused of flashing a train, proves his innocence with his penis tattoo.

Australian town bans bottled water.

Russian Air Force under attack from... Russian Air Force.
A report in a Russian military journal claims that half the planes Russia lost in its war with Georgia last year were shot down by friendly fire.

Burning Man burns man.

Ant mega-colony slowly taking over the earth. No, seriously.
A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered. Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same inter-related colony, and will refuse to fight one another. The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

Parents of the year find out the hard way why their illegal 9-foot long Burmese python and their 2-year-old daughter would not mix.

Pictured: Galaxy groupsex orgy in full swing.

A handy timeline of world religions.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
_53
10 July 2009 @ 10:13 am


Happy birthday Nikola Tesla, our favorite real life genuis-ahead-of-his-time mad scientist!

Rotten Library Bios: Mad Science: Nikola Tesla

Read all about the man who thought he was talking to Martians, who attempted to short-circuit the Earth itself (and may even have kind of succeeded), invented the AC current as we know it today, and perfected wireless electricity (no, seriously).

I'd write more but I'm supposed to be working, so.... laters :)
 
 
Current Mood: awake
 
 
_53
09 July 2009 @ 06:23 pm

Michael Jackson sighted on tree stump. Jesus and Mary to sue for patent infringement.




Ordinary hen lays world's largest egg.




Because airline travel is so luxurious nowdays, Ryanair is considering making standing-room-only flights.



Man arrested for punching Police horse.

The Green Coalition of Gay Loggers for Jesus stage protest.
"The Green Coalition of Gay Loggers for Jesus was formed to protest how the city went about granting the Bozeman Tea Party's request for a permit march down Main Street on July Fourth... Organizers complain that it is hypocritical for a group to protest government spending while forcing the government to incur costs" supervising the closure of roads and intersections, etc."

Dad insists 6 year old son plays on trampoline while wearing helmet, for safety. Helmet strap catches clothes line, boy chokes to death.

World’s strongest vagina breaks own record lifting 14 kilos.
A Russian woman has set a new world record, lifting a 14-kg. glass ball with her vagina muscles... “You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.”

Tiger born with no stripes.

Man finds dead baby in fridge of his own house.
With helpful photo of unrelated filthy fridge.

Police arrest dog for chewing owner's money.

Dying teen gets river raft ride by the Make-A-Wish Foundation, raft flips, teen dies.

Passenger fixes faulty airliner.
Passengers on Thomas Cook flight TCX9641 from Menorca were told to expect an eight-hour wait while an engineer was flown out from the UK. One passenger then identified himself as a qualified aircraft engineer and offered to try to remedy the fault. He was successful, and the plane landed in Glasgow only 35 minutes late.

Man divorces wife on their honeymoon coz she made him wait too long while she was in the airport restroom.
Ah, typical male Arab mentality.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
_53
30 June 2009 @ 09:28 am

Breaking News: Yemeni passenger plane with 150 people onboard crashes into Indian Ocean.

According to reports, a Yemenia Airways Airbus A310 passenger jet has crashed into the Indian Ocean near the island nation of Comoros. At least 150 people were onboard the aircraft.

Conflicting reports say the flight number was Yemenia Airways Flight IY628 or Flight 626, traveling from Sana'a, the capital of Yemen, to Prince Said Ibrahim International Airport in Comoros. The flight originated in Paris, France. BNO News says the plane was flight 626 traveling from Comoros to Yemen.

Reuters quotes a senior Yemeni government official as saying "we don't know if there are any survivors." The plane crashed early Tuesday morning.

Comoros lies nearly 200 miles from mainland Africa. The small, three island nation has a population of just under 800,000 with a combined military and police force of around 1,000. Comoros has no navy, leaving it with little to no sea rescue resources.

"We really have no sea rescue capabilities," said an unnamed police official.
 
 
 
 
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Crop circles reveal ancient burial ground older than Stonehenge.




70-year-old Florida woman charged with 7th DUI.




About Hitler's stealth fighter.




13 year old trades iPod for ancient music playing contraption used by primitive apes apparently called a "WALK MAN".

Quote: "It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape."
Oh my dog I am so old.



Twins marry twins, entire village sees double.



Discussion on Michael Jackson's death leads to one passenger chasing the other with a knife on a public bus. Yup, Florida.

Manager fired for sexually harassing a mermaid.

Naked man wielding knife takes a stroll through Danish engineering company, then plows his car into a bus.

Mexico misplaces entire island.

Man somehow drowns while mowing lawn.

Dog swallows Taliban bomb, survives.

Bank teller recognizes customer as pervert who flashed her earlier that day.

Old news: anorexic supermodels making unhealthy body image appear normal. New news: Fat celebrities making unhealthy body image appear normal.

Man rescued from same lift twice in a month, the second time with his bicycle.

Thief steals police alarm designed to call for cops, keeps pressing button trying to figure out which car it's supposed to unlock till the cops showed up.

Car slams into Phoenix apartment complex... again.

Wired: The Great Wall of Facebook: The Social Network's Plan to Dominate the Internet — and Keep Google Out.

Drunk man leaves pants behind at crime scene, is later found naked and covered in Pepto-Bismol.

Drunk man learns the hard way why it's a bad idea to cut through a downed electrical power line with a chainsaw, also earns Darwin Award.

Man, dog fall through airport floor into lagoon of poop.

A former mayor found sitting naked and holding a beer at a Rabun County campsite told police he wasn't the same naked man seen walking around earlier.

Man learns why you really shouldn't Twitter things like "thank goodness my boss is making things easy, he told me to pretend to do work so he can mark me down for hours", is now lookign for a new job.

Four arrested after golf club wielding crowd go after deputies who were trying to arrest drunk guy at "Manna Christian Mobile Home Park" in Florida.

"Michael Bay finally made an art movie." A review of Transformers ROTF.
Hilarious.

Corrupted files for sale to students to buy extra time.
Corrupted-Files.com sells pre-corrupted files ($5.95, on sale for $3.95 until June 30) in a variety of formats. The target market is students who blew their assignment deadline and need an excuse.

Debunking the myths about Canadian healthcare.

Michael Jackson's corpse to be plastinated and put on display for The Body Worlds.
'An agreement is in place': German doctor Gunther von Hagens says he is to preserve the King of Pop with polyurethane.

Dr. Jerri Nielsen dies of cancer.
Who's Dr. Jerri Nielsen, you ask? She was the bad-ass doctor who diagnosed herself with cancer while stationed in Antarctica, and treated herself with chemotherapy and air-dropped medical supplies.

Comics writer Mark Sable was detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for carrying a script for an upcoming comic book about a writer who is detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for writing a comic about terrorism.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
_53
29 June 2009 @ 02:25 pm

Stolen from this post over at [info]anarchists.

Let's be honest: you'll never win the lottery.

On the other hand, the chances are pretty good that you'll slave away at some miserable job the rest of your life. That's because you were in all likelihood born into the wrong social class. Let's face it — you're a member of the working caste. Sorry!

As a result, you don't have the education, upbringing, connections, manners, appearance, and good taste to ever become one of us. In fact, you'd probably need a book the size of the yellow pages to list all the unfair advantages we have over you. That's why we're so relieved to know that you still continue to believe all those silly fairy tales about "justice" and "equal opportunity" in America.

Of course, in a hierarchical social system like ours, there's never been much room at the top to begin with. Besides, it's already occupied by us — and we like it up here so much that we intend to keep it that way. But at least there's usually someone lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior to and kick in the teeth once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can easily find some poor slob further down in the pecking order to sneer and spit at. So be thankful for migrant workers, prostitutes, and homeless street people.

Always remember that if everyone like you were economically secure and socially privileged like us, there would be no one left to fill all those boring, dangerous, low-paid jobs in our economy. And no one to fight our wars for us, or blindly follow orders in our totalitarian corporate institutions. And certainly no one to meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and creative life. So please, keep up the good work!

You also probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive drive to possess wealth, power, and prestige that we have. And even though you may sincerely want to change the way you live, you're also afraid of the very change you desire, thus keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo. So you go through life mechanically playing your assigned social role, terrified what others would think should you ever dare to "break out of the mold."

Naturally, we try to play you off against each other whenever it suits our purposes: high-waged workers against low-waged, unionized against non-unionized, Black against White, male against female, American workers against Japanese against Mexican against.... We continually push your wages down by invoking "foreign competition," "the law of supply and demand," "national security," or "the bloated federal deficit." We throw you on the unemployed scrap heap if you step out of line or jeopardize our profits. And to give you an occasional break from the monotony of our daily economic blackmail, we allow you to participate in our stage-managed electoral shell games, better known to you ordinary folks as "elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as to what's really happening — instead, you blame "Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists," "Niggers," "Jews," Welfare Queens," and countless others for your troubled situation.

We're also very pleased that many of you still embrace the "work ethic," even though most jobs in our economy degrade the environment, undermine your physical and emotional health, and basically suck your one and only life right out of you. We obviously don't know much about work, but we're sure glad you do!

Of course, life could be different. Society could be intelligently organized to meet the real needs of the general population. You and others like you could collectively fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't know that. In fact, you can't even imagine that another way of life is possible. And that's probably the greatest, most significant achievement of our system — robbing you of your imagination, your creativity, your ability to think and act for yourself.

So we'd truly like to thank you from the bottom of our heartless hearts. Your loyal sacrifice makes possible our corrupt luxury; your work makes our system work. Thanks so much for "knowing your place" — without even knowing it!

 
 
Current Music: Rammstein
 
 
_53
28 June 2009 @ 11:48 am
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: awake
 
 
_53
27 June 2009 @ 08:54 pm


Read more... )
 
 
Current Mood: hot
 
 
_53

Tree (slowly) collides into car.

A Japanese hackberry tree, which sprouted from a seed in a junkyard 25 years ago, has managed to lift a car in the air. "Workers at the junkyard have built a small fence around the tree, and are protecting it as it continues to grow."



A vicar was forced to apologise after charging tennis fans £20 to park on top of graves near Wimbledon. Spectators were told to leave their cars between tombstones at St Mary's Church in Wimbledon Village.

Classy.



Apparently, Comcast thinks Ben Stein, the man who famously said "science leads you to killing people," is "smart."



Christians protest fake Christians protesting Dante's Inferno video game.
Wait, what?

Light and ceiling fixtures torn out of 141 year old mansion, teenagers performing oral sex in the bathrooms, drunkenness and resisting arrest? That's one hell of a bat mitzvah.

Luxury heavily armed Russian yachts are offering "pirate hunting cruises," where wealthy clients pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders; when attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers.

Farrah Fawcett dead at 62 of a rare cancer.

Apple's soon to be released PC killer.
That whole Jobs transplant thing was a cover for getting this ready for release just before Win7 arrives.

Car drives over bag, then bursts into flames. Florida.

Road Raging Fox News Writer Arrested for Dragging a Cyclist Through Central Park.
 
 
Current Mood: awake
 
 
_53
26 June 2009 @ 08:58 am
Michael Jackson has died of cardiac arrest at age 50.

Now everyone who made fun of him will be all like, ZOMG ITS SO SAD, HE WAS SO AWESOME, etc. etc. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Pharyngula, however, said it best about his death:

Die young, leave a strange corpse.
 
 
Current Mood: awake
 
 
_53
25 June 2009 @ 08:10 pm

Life with a giant 100 lb rodent that sounds like a Geiger counter when its happy.




Family invites teacher to stay with them while she sorts out boyfriend problems; teacher thanks family by sleeping with their 12 year old son.




Canoeist finds himself surrounded by five sharks, does what any normal guy would do: whip out his camera and snap away.

The sharks were harmless basking sharks, despite the nightmarish pic.



I'm extiiiiinct / I'm EXTIIIIIINCT / Suck my DIIIIICK / I'M EXTIIIIIINCT (Another brilliant headline by Fark).




Drunk driver crashes into liquor store.




If you live in London and you've always wanted to watch skinless plastinated human corpses having sex, you're now in luck.



Ahmadinejad compares Obama to Bush.

A cash collector pointed his gun at colleagues and fled with $8 million in cash after learning that he was HIV-positive and that his wife was about to divorce him.
With truly inexplicable accompanying picture.

Air traffic controller detained for smoking hashish at work.

Girl gets into horrific car crash, gets a broken back, neck, two punctured lungs, several broken ribs and a broken leg, gets six metal rods in her spine, gets modeling contract.

Crop circles: Alien grafitti or frat boy pranks? Turns out it's neither: It's stoned wallabies high on poppies.

Con man marries fifth wife, forgets to divorce wives #1-4. Bonus: Wife #5 is a sex offender.

Man gets sick of kids playing in his cul-de-sac, so he blares porn loud enough to be heard a block and a half away.
Because if there's anything kids hate, it's porn, right?

A mother who drank 13 beers before a psychological evaluation failed to recover custody of her three young children despite claiming she wasn't drunk because she "can drink like a fish."

Star Wars star Carrie Fisher's co-star gets sick after nude scene with her.

UAV drone hits high score.

Rapist begs forgiveness, explains why rape is all the rage among South African men.

Woman leaves starving puppies, dog skull at animal shelter.

Pet dogs snack on delicious baby while grandma naps.

Homeless bums' discussion on quantum physics and atom splitting leads to one bum beating up the other with a skateboard.

Man screws up burglary attempt, goes to cops later while still drunk and bleeding and reports it, describes burglar with own description, still wearing the same clothes. Predictable results.

Police say a California man donning a bustier and watching porn on a computer in an apartment complex gym was arrested after officers found drugs in his backpack.

5 Documentaries You Must See to Understand the Water Crisis.
 
 
Current Mood: sticky
Current Music: Anthrax with Public Enemy - Bring The Noise
 
 
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24 June 2009 @ 11:49 pm

About a giant 24 karat gold-plated pyramid house.

The six-story-tall, 17,000-square-foot Gold Pyramid House in Wadsworth, Illinois has to be one of the most bizarre homes ever constructed... Their home is believed to be the largest 24-karat gold-plated object in North America.



Limo company in Japan to make Prius hearses.




International Space Station snaps stunning pic of volcano shockwave punching a hole in the sky.




Toronto can't find a picture of a multiracial family for the cover of "FUN" magazine, so they photoshop in a black guy. Poorly.



Crocodile spotted in French village pond.

Meanwhile, two crocodiles spotted in Ukranian lake near refinery.

Furniture giant apologises for using Twitter hashtags on the Iran election to spam advertise.
The team behind the HabitatUK Twitter account were adding keywords, known as hashtags, to their tweets, in order to ensure the company’s messages appeared on the list of hot “trending topics” on the microblogging service.... Among the hashtags erroneously used by Habitat were many related to the Iranian protests, including #Mousavi and #Iranelection, as well as #iPhone and #Apple in the wake of Apple’s new iPhone 3GS launch last Friday.

The Supreme Court has upheld a federal government permit to dump waste from an Alaskan gold mine into a nearby lake, even though all its fish would be killed.

Passengers asked to shift seats, balance plane.
Dozens of holidaymakers returning to Newcastle refused to fly after they were asked to act as human ballast. A jammed hold door meant luggage could only be loaded into the front of the Thomas Cook plane at Mallorca airport. Passengers were asked to move seats to distribute the weight, but 71 left the plane, fearing for their safety.

Six-year-olds trigger emergency response with toy nuclear reactor.

Colorado cops searching for a man who took a steamroller on a late night joyride.

A homeless student who attended 12 schools in 12 years pulls off a GPA of 4.0 and is now on her way to Harvard.

Text messaging leads to stabbing.

Wanted: wealthy bigshot banker who was recently fired, now missing with two shotguns.

Monkey urinates on Zambian president.

Russian woman's size F silicone boobs burst during transatlantic flight.

But... but... homosexuality is UNNATURAL!

"I married a pornographer."

Man claims responsibility for murder he did not commit so he can get free room and board in jail.

Dick Cheney to write memoirs. Insert your own joke here.

Poland loses UFO reports and documents. Insert your own Polish joke here.

North Chicago's "Officer of the Year" beats up a police chief after finding him in his wife's home.

Man hosts homemade flamethrower parties. Surprisingly authorities have a problem with this.

Firefighters accidentally set fire station on fire.

Five-year-old girl shot and killed at own birthday party.

Cracked.com: If everyday life were directed by Michael Bay.
 
 
Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: Doctor Who Theme remixed by Orbital
 
 
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Brad Pitt cutouts cutting down on traffic accidents in Siberia.

Cardboard cutouts of Hollywood actor Brad Pitt and billionaire Bill Gates, dressed as traffic cops, have been placed at the most dangerous intersections in the Siberian city of Omsk... officials say accidents are down as star-struck drivers ease off the gas to gaze at the unusual images.



Followup: Epic dipshit who claims she fell asleep while getting her face tattooed and ended up with ten times more stars on her face than she asked for, admits to what everyone in the world with an IQ above room temprature already figured out, admits she lied about it.

She said after the tattooing last week: "It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak."
ORLY? People this stupid really shouldn't breed. But at least the tattoo artist isn't nearly as pissed as you'd expect: "I don't regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity."
Still, nowhere is she sorry for what she put the poor tattoo artist through. At one point she was vowing to sue him for £9,000. If I were in the tattoo artist's shoes I'd probably counter-sue.



30 stunning, artistic and creative résumés.




Cracked.com: Closeted Badasses: 6 Famous Wusses That Would Own You.

James Blunt: sings like a girl, licenced to drive a fucking tank.



Cracked.com: 7 Man-Made Substances that Laugh in the Face of Physics.




The Gay marriage debate flowcharted in graphic form.




A hilarious, deleted scene out of Terminator 3.



Woman gets friend to repeatedly shoot her puppy, which was a gift from a former lesbian lover, so that she could skin said puppy and make a belt out of it.



Interest in survivalism and preparing for the breakdown of society is on the rise.
As the recession lingers, some Phoenix-area residents are shifting attention from their financial troubles, including falling home values and shrinking retirement savings, to stockpiling food and ammo. They worry the economic turmoil could lead to skyrocketing inflation, food scarcity, even violence. To prepare, they are forming social-networking groups to discuss how to store grains, purify water, plant gardens and, if needed, shoot guns.

Northern Ireland: not a great place to be Romanian, apparently.
About 100 Romanians who fled their homes following days of racist attacks in Belfast last week have decided to leave Northern Ireland, the minister who arranged their temporary housing said on Tuesday.

"If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell.

Whale watching worth more than whale hunting.

DoD Training Manual: Protests are "Low-Level Terrorism".

Arrested, beaten up for asking a cop for his badge number and ID.

Nokia and Siemens provided surveillance tools used to bust Iranian activists.
A Nokia-Seimens joint venture supplied the key surveillance tech to the Iranian government that is being used to spot and bust protestors, subjecting them to massive human rights violations and endangering their lives. Seimens says it's all Nokia's fault, and a spokesman says they did nothing wrong because spying on and torturing dissidents is legal in Iran. Meanwhile, Cisco and every other "western" network tech company is busily selling spyware, censorware, and other surveillance crap to every repressive government in the world, and also raking in big bucks selling unconstitutional wiretap tools to the US government for use on domestic populations.

Lancaster, PA is now the most heavily monitored small city.

German parliament gets its first 'Pirate' party member.
A member of Germany's Social Democrat party has defected for the Pirate Party, making him the first Pirate Party member in German parliament. Glyn explains, "Tauss left the Social Democrats after the party helped to pass a law mandating ISPs block a list of websites in a attempt to stop child porn. Tauss argues that it's the first step towards an extensive Internet censorship regimen and it will not work in its stated aim." Tauss is being investigated for possession of child porn images that he says he downloaded as part of his ministerial investigation into the propagation of child porn.

Positive thinking may be negative.
State the obvious etc.

How a Heartwarming, Kick-Ass Father's Day Photo Shoot Ended Up Face Down in Handcuffs on the Addison Airport Tarmac.

EU asks horse owners to pledge not to eat their animals.

Latvian firm accepts souls as guarantee for credits.
A financial company in Latvia is offering residents loans secured by nothing but their immortal soul.

Dog walker trampled to death by cows.

World’s Largest Solar Project Planned for Saharan Desert.

Road cleaned by neo-Nazis may be named for rabbi.
The state's litter prevention program got an unusual ally last year: A neo-Nazi group adopted a half-mile section of highway in Springfield and picked up the trash. The state said it had no way to reject the group's application, saying membership in the Adopt-A-Highway program can't be denied because of a group's political beliefs. Lawmakers responded with an amendment to a large transportation bill that would rename that section of road after Abraham Joshua Heschel, a rabbi who narrowly escaped the Nazis in World War II and later marched with the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Girl aces exam, gives birth all within 24 hours.

New Zealand to investigate the dangers posed by caffeine.


Mom performs Voodoo ritual on 6 year old daughter, ends up setting her on fire.


Inflation may hit double-digits next year.

Young lovers in Indian village are from two different religions and forbidden from marrying, so they kill themselves.

Deformed horse attempts to drive Mercedes minivan, gets pulled over for driving without the lights on.

Man says he has no idea how he ended up nude and in a washer-dryer.

Man uses screwdriver to dislodge jammed bullet from rifle with predictable results.

Lightning strikes airplane, blows off its winglet (upturned wingtip).

Ice cream deemed offensive to dead soldiers.

Part of diver's ass chopped off by boat.

Dispute between islanders and volcano refugees leads to beheading of 3-year-old girl.

Man learns his girlfriend of 2 years used to be a man, so he kills her.
Gay panic defense, anyone?

Cops rescue lost sea lion off busy motorway.

Man arrested for driving his golf cart drunk onto state highway.

President Sarkozy of France: Burqas are not welcome.

A strip club that hired a 14-year-old as an exotic dancer is now suing the girl, saying the seventh-grader swindled them into breaking state law. Oh also, she was a kidnap and rape victim who was forced to join the club by her captor.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
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The Iranian protest has a face and a martyr, and her name is Neda Soltani.

Warning: link contains graphic video of a young woman bleeding out of every orifice after being shot in the heart by a Basij member.
"At 19:05 June 20th Place: Karekar Ave., at the corner crossing Khosravi St. and Salehi st. A young woman who was standing aside with her father watching the protests was shot by a basij member hiding on the rooftop of a civilian house. He had clear shot at the girl and could not miss her. However, he aimed straight her heart. I am a doctor, so I rushed to try to save her. But the impact of the gunshot was so fierce that the bullet had blasted inside the victim's chest, and she died in less than 2 minutes. The protests were going on about 1 kilometers away in the main street and some of the protesting crowd were running from tear gass used among them, towards Salehi St. The film is shot by my friend who was standing beside me. Please let the world know."
Related: 'Neda' becomes rallying cry for Iranian protests, #Neda becomes trending hashtag on Twitter that day.
Also, Her name means "voice" or "calling" in Persian.
R.I.P.



News outlets also fall for that hoax of a photo taken inside Air France Flight 447, which is an obvious screenshot of the crash scene from the pilot episode of "Lost."

Bolivian television station PAT, Poland's TVN24 and Dutch news radio BNR probably thought they had their biggest scoop yet: photos from inside Air France Flight 447, seconds before it crashed into the Atlantic early this month. The crash killed more than 200 people and most parts of the wreckage have not been found yet... But... is it really from Air France Flight 447? No. And apparently, the editors over at BNR, TVN24 and PAT haven't watched the hit-series "Lost" either.
LOLJOURNALISM.



The ten most diabolical fish on earth.




Super-filtered #IranElection info for the easily overwhelmed.




Couple gets married in zero gravity in first of its kind wedding.




Crocodile causes helicopter crash.


Israel's richest woman: I get messages from above, can see things before they happen.

PETA, still mad at Obama swatting (er, "murdering") a fly, have asked Phish to change their name to Sea Kitten.
Insert "get a brain morans dot jpeg" here.

People on the terrorist watch list aren't allowed to board a commercial airliner, but they can buy all the guns they want.
People on the government’s terrorist watch list tried to buy guns nearly 1,000 times in the last five years, and federal authorities cleared the purchases 9 times out of 10 because they had no legal way to stop them.

Girl decides to Twitter in the bathtub, finds out the hard way that most laptops aren't waterproof.
A teenage girl was electrocuted after dropping her laptop into the bath as she twittered in the tub. Police said they believed Maria Barbu, 17, had tried to plug in her laptop with wet hands after the battery died during a long session on social networking site Twitter as she took a soak at her home in Brasov, central Romania.
Not to be mean, but Darwin Award material right here.

Thousands of Burmese donate 1,750 pounds of their hair to repair road to sacred pagoda.

Jewel gang caught after getaway driver refuses to break speed limit.
Picked an odd time to start obeying the law there.

No-Fathers' Day: About a Chinese Himalayan tribe that has no fathers and never did, except in the strictest biological sense - and the kids are doing just fine.
The women of this matrilineal society shun marriage and raise their kids in homes with their entire extended families—but no dads. By most accounts, children seem to do just fine under the arrangement. "They are a society that we know hasn't had marriage for a thousand years, and they've been able to raise kids successfully," said Stephanie Coontz, family studies professor at the Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington.
Robert Heinlein would be proud :)

About Dispute Finder, a Firefox plug-in designed to give you two or more sides to a story.
Showing that there are two sides to every story has never been easier, thanks to a new web tool that highlights disputed text on a web page and offers links to other sites with a different perspective.
 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
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21 June 2009 @ 06:08 pm
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
 
 

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