I found the gift for my mother from Alexandre an entomologist friend of JF...
He has so much species that i couldn't believe my own eyes...

I already bought the Xmas present for my mother there
She wanted a beetle in a glass and there it is...


A Goliathus variety...
Impressive & Elegant just like her...
I gave Alex a little extra and he gave me a specimen for my own :)



I named it my little "Ruby" :)

The last moment of this mourning....
After i'll be back with my life continuing like nothing happens...

But the thought that the next generation disappearing would be my parents still haunts me down because my grand-mother was the last. This is very difficult to assume but this is a step i'll need to figure it out because time doesn't go slower...

For me, i know it's difficult. I need to be alone right now... just to medidate
People invited me to do something but just answers: later...
Not that i'm not interested if i could be a clone i'll be everyplace...
But now! i'm here. Right now! Only One! Only Me!
And will be till the end of my own days...

This is a picture i took after the funeral of Simone...
Nothing impressive when you see the original...


I like to do photography modification to express my own perception of it...
I got my diploma in graphic design and i don't use it for work but only for myself...

"À la vie, à la mort!"
The light transgressing the soul...

I've been away from the net for a while because my last grand-parent just died at the age of almost 93 years old. She was the "Iron Lion Woman" till 2 and half weeks ago when she got a stroke. Her state was deteriorated day after day since that...

She died peacefully june 18 2009 at 6 pm and she's now born to something else that us (living people) doesn't know yet... She was my godmother, my grandmother and last year at the same time the owner of the place i'm living right now. Last month she was still autonomous but with a big lack of memory. Her visual faculty was 100% even at the end of her life. She never wore glasses... Still driving her car at 91years old. She was energetic, she was very artistic (painting, decoration, sewing) and just died as fast because she knew that she lived her life 100% and doesn't wanted to live it under this percentage...

Her name was Simone...
My middle name is Simonne with two N because my two grandmothers names was Simone...





This is from a photo-shoot taken in 2006 by the photographer Julie Durocher...
http://www.juliedurocher.com/
A very talented photographer...

I saw this symbol on the net today with the chaos star....
I'm amazed with the resemblance with my own tattoo completely created by me in 2004.

But my version is more elaborated...
http://users.livejournal.com/_4tresse_/133367.html
And the chaos star is less present just like my life right now...



In 2004 i didn't know what was the symbol of chaos till 2008...
But i used it like i was knowing after all...
Just like symbolism was natural for me...

Yesterday i was in a zombie state like every month.
But i went downtown for a walk...

Thanx to Jimmy.
A new companionship has been form 0ut of this...

For my tulips picture project on McGill.
I'll have to wait for my vacation next week to make it happen.
They wasn't ready yet...

But i had this inspiration to lay on the steps of Place-des-Arts and this 0ne is already 0ut and modified...



The major modification on this picture is that every0ne sitting near me has disappeared. Only the steps remains. And the deep meaning of it is simple:

"Resting moment on the step of life..."

I spent the day walking in the narrows streets...
Starting at Papineau-Laurier...
and finishing my run on Ste-Catherine-McGiLL...

For some street it will be better to wait till the leaves rejuvenated...
And got a personal project when the tulips will be completely awake again in May on McGiLL...

My legs and feet hurts let's start a new period of Walking Spree...

I spent the day with friend in a reptile exposition with a lot of variety of exotic animal...

Really nice day of observation in many level...

In fact strangely one of the animal that capture my attention was a beetle with a leg trapped in the corner of his habitat. I like beetle maybe because of the shell they owned. I own myself a shell that i built with time and that makes me a relation to this animal. It was an awesome example... and symbolism. The first one i saw was at 5 years old in the sand land of my neighbor and i remember being amazed by it. I had previously Dorothée that was moving in my compu room and still is, i found another in my bathroom that finished is run in my toilet without me putting it into it and another one in my entering wall. So, one beetle doesn't bothering me but now i like to observe it but now they are finishing there run in a kleenex :/ Too much of them in my apartment is the meaning of possible reproduction and invasion...



I kept "compu room Dorothée" alive but not the others :/
hehe...

0ne of my friend has gone to Italy and took this picture...
Very inspiring, my opinion...
The first thing that went into mind when i saw it is:



"Sorry guys! But she cheated on me..." :Þ

I made myself a new compu room friend...

Last year there was an invasion of Ladybug...
And this year... this little beetle friend (that i called Dorothée le scarabée) like very much moving on my walls.



It was so cute that i wasn't able to kill it :P

I asked some information about it from a friend that likes entomology...
And there's no problem with it until you have an army in your room.
So, i let Dorothée living on my wall...

...Changing the mind path, to be creative, just for the fun of it!
...it was my walk of yesterday.

The walk was starting at Metro Place-des-Arts and mostly in the Underground Montreal for the first time of my life :P. The first stop was eating to my favorite chinese restaurant Mon-Shing for diner. 1 minute of the entry of the Underground Montreal :P My chinese cookie said: "You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily"... Just like i didn't know already that detail :P First i need to get rid of the negative side of my fortress that makes me think for no-thing and most of the time and just complicated my life for no-thing...

Thanx for sangravil for those mutual moment...
Sometimes you just need that...

Here comes the pictures of the Underground Montreal...
I like to be the principal trinket in the picture, i know.... :P



Me and my winter suit sitting on a lonely chair in the Underground corridor...



The yellow lane....
And me! What else?! ;P



Looking at the future...
aka Devastation if human stays unconscious like now....



The Cocoon...
Because with my winter coat i just look like 0ne... :P hehe...

Walking till the metro Georges-Vanier or Lucien L'allier...
Well! same station for me excepted for the name and the place but there are too much alike for my little brain :P took the metro there and stopping at the Vendome Station...
Taking that picture....



Me and my Guru Drink waiting for the suburban trains to slash my life 0ut...
Doesn't happen... No gore pictures on this post sorry! hehe :P

We walked on Vendome... and on an ending street hoping for a beautiful view that doesn't exist.
How great!!! We didn't knew that was our excuse...

We decided to walked near the Decarie Highway (Vendome till Snowdon).
Not a really nice view of the town excepted for this idea of a picture of the Decarie Highway without cars, someone being naked in the foetus position on the middle of it looking at his feet... Well that was just an idea... Impossible to make it happen but it was fun to think...

Here comes the Only picture of this run...



A jeep on decomposition...
Just like the owner keep it just to know how many time it takes to decompose...
Or keep it to put trash inside it... Well! no more comment....

We finally arrived to the Snowdon station...
There was supposedly a superb view on the Circle Street near there...
But we walked in Circle and didn't find it... :P
How great! I was freezing at this moment!

And final stop an Irish coffee...
For the warming part :)

Today was the first walk of the year...
The only thing that i regret is bringing my skates to the Parc Lafonfaine...



This 0ne is called the path that a lot of people take one day...


The two bench is the meaning of it all...
I just wish that one day it would be me with some reciprocity...

But despite my loneliness i was feeling alright
Eating sushi, walking and buying music...
This is called behing happy with simple thing that made you think about something else that's bothering you...

I made this go away... I just want something... i can never have....
For now! But that may past, me and my fucking optimism ;)

For those who are in a relationship right now...
Look at the simple matter of sharing...
Sharing is probably the most valuable thing in love...
...
You can share in friendship but never like this...
That's why there's a lack of something in my life...
But i'm surely not alone...
That's soothing me in some way :P haha...

The hardest thing is being with your family, cousins with a lot of children. Really happy to see them everytime, but always getting depressed somewhat because you just wish that things would be easier "in the fucking love way" for you. And 0ne day you wake up you're 30 something years old and realized that things don't get easier. You get older... and things get more complicated in relationship because of all the situations. You just have to go with the flow...

And i decided to go with the flow....
Friends will be the principal word of this year....

0ne of my good friend lend me his Olympus camera "Reflex" for me to learn.

I'm very grateful for that...
More learning for me...

My Digital camera has some limited issue that isn't impossible with this new toy. Now, i need to take the time to learn how it works, really! I just gave the camera to my father and after 5 minutes he was knowing more about it than me :P. But well, my father has an amazing passion for photography since a looong time. This is a common passion that we shared together but my father is far forward my knowledge of this. I'm more the 0ne who is inspired with the moment and wanted the picture looking like i thought... For knowing how!? This is another story... For now!

I took this picture with my little "ordinary" camera... (the other camera is too big to bring anytime with me)



I called the picture : "The winter Highway"

My father was there and was giving me advice to do a great picture...
Great sharing moments: I like those....

I like those walk even if it's freezing to death...
They are more brief but more intense...

I passed through another level of friendship with someone that brought me a lot already...
And there's the result;



Narrow street between St-Denis & St-Laurent...



"What's behind the Door?"



"Here's Johnny..."
Picked from my best movie ever: The Shining






Pictures that i called:
"Aloneness Understanding"
This tree seems so alone.... But Healthy!
I understand him completely...





....From Mont-Royal District...

Me and my favorite spot at Saphir...
Me and one of my favorite activity there: Observing people...
The other activity is dancing...
Flirting? What is that?... :P

I said it the first time i saw him in 2006 at the Covenant show and i say it again:
"He looks like Eddy Furlong!"

And here comes the picture to prove my perception...



The picture of Eddy was Grayscale and i added some colors at 4am in the morning after the show.
Not bad for someone who was a little drunk at that time... :P

...the past...

We went to the AMP Night and wasn't sure about the place but it was awesome. Excepting maybe the heat on the dance floor but we find the perfect spot of the place: just under the fan. But i just wish that it will be: To continued...

I spoke a lot with Caroline about the Rave period that i used to go when i was younger...
Here comes the pictures i was talking of yesterday...



Those fat pants was so comfortable...
And the t-shirts was painted by me...
I remember the :wumpscut: there was a big W logo in the back

And this one was caught at "We Are Slave" during the set of Manu le Malin



This t-shirt had the Explosive Logo in the back. And I do like danger zone strips.. :P
Is this possible that the bleached girl i'm pointing was her? LOL She really looks like mecha_grrl..

Gosh! I really need to find clothes paint...

I had a blast walking alone in my district this weekend....
I took some great pictures of my run...



Church on Gouin near Papineau... (I don't remember the name)



Church on Henri-Bourassa... (I don't remember the name neither i don't care really)



The mouth Tree on Gouin... He initially growns on a fence. And they decided to take out the fence not the tree...



The famous Abandoned place on Gouin near the metro. I wanted some pictures there it is:

I was going to Baton Rouge near the Molson Center for the birthday supper of pregnant Karine 0ne of my good friend. The food was completely insane.

I took 2 beers -11$,
The principal plate -23$,
A Tia Maria & Brandy coffee very strong 7$.
For a total of 46$.

A supper in great company...
PRICELESS!

After i decided to digest my supper with a nice walk downtown. I walked my way on Ste-Catherine through the Francofolie Festival to take a crowd bath. I was glad to have my Ipod on my ears because the blond singer on the stage was awful. I walked on St-Denis to see exactly where was the Passeport and decided to take an espresso before at La Brûlerie between Mont-Royal and the Sherbrooke station. I studied the sculpture on the corner of St-Denis and Sherbrooke to see if i was able to go in the middle but the space was too restrain and too high at first view.

I entered for the first time of my life the Passeport Bar. And was pleasantly surprise by the music and the place. I was sure that the music will be awful like the lady on the stage pretty much of the night. J-S was there, Julie and Eric a new acquaintance from Last.fm. I found the perfect place on the dance floor: just in the front of the air conditioning :P And finally they played the song "Voyage, Voyaaage!" at the end and had it in my head pretty much all night and today. The Swayze and The Mullet guy was there... LOL And how we can forget the smell of the Dove girl... It was like she forgot to rinse her body after washing herself with a Dove Soap bar. I can be a Bitch sometimes! But well! This was for a good cause... Having much fun as possible... :P

And finally we decided to get out of the place during the "Voyage, Voyaage!" song. To much torture taken already. I talked to J-S about my Impossible statue project and he convinces me to try it out. So, with a little help from him i reached the middle and he took the pictures...

Here comes the result remixed in Photoshop and Painter:



This one is called: "The Eye" with the filter and effects you definitely have the impression that this is an Eye.



"Yin-Yan"...
You're able to see the statue more on this one....
His head is down and he has his hands on it.

The statue is most of all white and i was wearing black like usual.This was for the "color" symbolism of the Yin-Yan and i had the same position of the sculpture in the opposite side of him.

Very deep... I'm glad that i was able to do it finally: Nothing is impossible!