?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Don't believe that it's better [entries|friends|calendar]
Ant

[ website | i like myspaces ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 May 2009|11:55am]
I GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL TODAY FUCK YES
1 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[06 May 2009|11:27pm]
So. My last day of high school is tomorrow and I could honestly not be more FUCKING HAPPY!
AND EXCITED!
The future is unfolding in front of my face and it is SWEET.
let's get fucked up & die

[19 Apr 2009|03:50pm]
[ mood | complacent ]




friends only,

no promos kthxbai
79 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[16 Feb 2009|07:13pm]
IT SEEMS THAT YOU'RE KEEPING ME DOWN
AND IT JUST SEEMS POINTLESS
TO WORK THIS THING OUT AND
WHAT'S HOLDING ME BACK-
A LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP'S NOT WORTH IT
I'LL HIDE THIS ONE DEEP UNDERGROUND


convenience can comfort you now
but the words that you said
you can never take back and
i'm warning you now-
when you realize you made a mistake
i'll be sure to kick you while you're down.


i gave you this gift,
now i'm here alone and i'm paying for it
our light's almost out
but i'll smile again the day that you figure out

I WAS ALL THAT YOU HAD.
let's get fucked up & die

[27 Oct 2008|08:25pm]
HOMECOMINGCollapse )
6 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[23 Oct 2008|11:02pm]
If I mean anything to you, you will look at this picture.

hereCollapse )



80's day at school.
BEST DAY EVER.
4 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[01 Jan 2008|04:42pm]
Happy fucking new year everyone! It's really wonderful to finally spend it with someone who I care about. Damn I love cheap champagne, my best friends, Camel No. 9s, boyfriends, and night drives.

This is me welcoming 2008 with the widest embrace. Hope I don't fuck up too bad!

Btw, August `08 = I'm a fucking senior.


WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO

It only gets better from here. I started a new notebook today, complete with flowchart on my brain (the yes's and no's). I'm going to play GuitarHero3 and feed my addiction some more with this boy I like and two friends who I haven't hung with in a really long time.

I hope this year brings me closer than ever to the people who were once what my entire world revolved around. I miss those people.
1 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[22 May 2007|11:38pm]
I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine.
let's get fucked up & die

[17 Feb 2007|01:41pm]
NEW ORLEANS TOMORROW
3 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[14 Dec 2006|01:38pm]
Do you miss the blend
of colors she left in your black and white field?
Do you feel condemned
just being there?
1 +/- let's get fucked up & die

Brand New [22 Nov 2006|09:04pm]
[ mood | Brand New ]

I've been thinking too much tonight, unfortunately. I'm really just tired of going on telling myself that I hate you, when really, I know I don't. I have just been telling myself and everyone else that I can't stand you and that it really doesn't bother me that we haven't talked in 4 days..when really, I am so bothered. I wish you would call, I really wish you would call. Your dad messaged me this morning, told me and my family Happy Thanksgiving. I kinda hoped you'd call tonight, but I need to stop hoping. Because if I keep hoping, I keep hurting myself. I need to realize that you won't call. You are happy without me.

But you know what drives me crazy?

I wonder, really, if you miss me at all. I wonder if you ever WANT to call.. if you WANT to talk to me. I just want to know that.. it makes me really sad to think this way but I really don't think you do. I think every word you may have said that would drag a smile on my face, was a lie. I am sorry I showed you how shitty a long-distance relationship can be. I'm sorry I had to be the one to teach you not to get yourself into those. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could give you a hug and buy you a house here so you could be with me.. anything to be with me. I just want to be with you. I am not interested in finding anyone else to get close to..I don't want to find anyone else who people say is "better than you"..because I don't want to know what's better. I'm used to you and I want to talk to you, and I didn't enjoy hanging up on you Sunday night. I just get tired of hearing you say you don't want to talk to me.

Again, I am so fucking sorry, and I wish I never would have fallen for you, because right now I wouldn't be caring so goddamned much for someone who doesn't give two fucking shits. I'm fucking sorry.

1 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[28 Oct 2006|06:01pm]
this week has really been nice. i've been on this killer diet where i can supposedly lose 10-17 pounds in one week. i was super hesitant at first but now i'm a full and total believer because i have actually lost 11 pounds, and i am happily at a nice 125. i want to lose 10 more, so i might diet again next week. just to drop some more extra pounds. i'm so happy with myself and i am hella proud of how everything turned out.

so thanksgiving this year will really be awesome. boyfriend is coming down for the whole week (!!!) and we have to meet his dad halfway one of the times. i cannot wait. he is eating thanksgiving dinner with my family! i'm so happy with him. i can't wait until he stays at christmas. i can't waitttt! he's something i've always wished for in a guy. really. he's just everything i need. he's funny and he's always got me laughing. and he is so fucking cute. all the time. i love this boy so so so so much.

recently i decided to pierce my ears (around august or so). yeah i know i'm whack for never having them pierced before, but i did it with one intention: gauging them. so, 2 weekends ago i decided to stick a bellybutton ring (a 14 g) in my ears. that went pretty well for my right ear which is obviously my better ear..but my left ear was kinda irritated. it's fine now though. i went to the mall today with colin and the boys, plus mandy and some girl named logan (who are very annoying and dumb might i add), and i went into hot topic to get my gauges. so i'm a 12g now, i'm pretty excited. i bought another pair too, a 10g, so i'll probably be at them by 2 weekends from now, or so. i have pinchers in, and they're hella fine. they're black and red (which is dumb), and my 10s are solid black. i will constantly fuck with them, i swear, i would spin my 14s all the time just because but now i'm just gonna never stop touching them. go me!

i'm also pretty fucking set on getting my left side of my lip pierced when i turn 18. my mom has thoroughly voiced her opinion on disliking piercings, especially facial piercings, and she won't like my lip ring too much. but i say that she'll probably just have to deal with it.

last night i went to colins because yesterday, actually, was his birthday. so many people showed up and i felt so awkward so brandie and i hung out alot. me and josh are so tight. i swear, he has my sense of humor and i just love when someone thinks i'm funny for the same reason i do. also i have come to the conclusion that corey elliott is fine as hell, and i don't really care what boyfriend says he is so fucking fine. i swear to god. we hung out alot too last night, and actually i smoked two of his cigarettes that he actually OFFERED to me. i hate taking people's cigarettes, but his especially because i just hate bugging people and i also just dont like to bother him because i don't really know him too too well. but he's really cool. he called me cute about 293874293 times last night and it kinda made me feel awkward.. but colin and this girl, justine. they're supposedly dating and they haven't seen each other in probably around 2 months. this girl lives in slidell, which is an hour and a half away. i think it's pretty pathetic that he sees this girl LESS than i see my own damn boyfriend and HE lives SIX AND A HALF hours away. um..wtf. and he made out with brandie last night so i'm so weird with him right now and he's so affectionate to me i don't understand! also, brandon beauregard was at colin's last night and he is also fine fine fiiiine. he also gave me a cigarette and told me to tell my sister the next time i saw her, "lil b loves her". so i'm gonna have to tell her that. or, she can just read what i've written here, in my livejournal. uhhhhduh.:)

CONCLUSION:
i can't wait until thanksgiving. i just want to hug him forever. i love my boyfriendddd ahhhh! :) :) :)

and i really can't stop smiling.
8 +/- let's get fucked up & die

homecoming last night yehh [14 Oct 2006|12:09pm]
AHH homecoming was last night! it was such a freakin blast.
i had so much fun with my date and my friends.

there's a billion pictures. so get ready;)

sup @ us!Collapse )
6 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[09 Oct 2006|12:01am]
[ mood | cold ]

right now, i am so in love with my life. if i could possibly describe how happy i am to everyone, i don't think i would be given enough time to do so. i am beaming with joy and happiness and i think everyone around me can tell that something has changed. i really think i love him. honest. he listens to me and he tells me that he misses me. he tells me often. and he is so cute. i come to the point where i get worried if he doesn't answer or doesnt call. he is really so amazing.

i see him tomorrow and i cannot tell you how excited and nervous i am to see him. he told me i was pretty nast night and all i can do when he says these things is smile so fucking big.. he doesn't understand what he does to me.

"a thousand miles seems pretty far,
but they've got planes and trains and cars;
i'd walk to you if i had no other way."


he is so amazing and he makes me smile more, i think, than anyone ever has.
this feeling is the most wonderful feeling, really. i don't know how to even understand it or how to express to people how happy i am and that i am far from being depressed. if i'm quiet i'm thinking. about him or about the weather or about life or music.

also, i am very in love with daphne loves derby. tomorrow i will sit in my desks at school with great anticipation for the afternoon bell to ring and i will be able to see him again and i will hug him and kiss him and i will never want to let him go.

i believe i could go on forever with how much this boy means to me.
i get butterflies now sometimes just talking to him because he is so cute and makes me feel so good. god he makes me feel so good. he makes me feel cute and pretty, and important. he told me last night that i was amazing and he remembers our 10 minute hug from last time we saw each other and he said the first thing i better do when i see him is run and jump on him with a really huge hug. i'm pretty sure i will.

FLAKSJDLKJFAOSIDJFOAS that's all i have to say really because i'm pretty much out of words other than what i've said.

and that school is passing very quickly. almost 2nd semester. almost junior year? much. muchmuch.

ALMOST DECEMBER ALMOST DECEMBER ALMOST DECEMBER.
oh my fucking GOD i cannot wait at all i can't wait he's coming back for me. he wants to be with me, he says. he says he says he says.

!!!
3 +/- let's get fucked up & die

BASICALLY. [21 Aug 2006|09:58pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

OMFG, I PROBABLY HAVE THE FUCKING BEST BOY EVER.

♥♥♥

wowowowowow
3 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[20 Aug 2006|02:19pm]
When all your good intentions just leave you feeling old
And your latest inventions have all left you feeling cold
Well its then the chips it says, "Then come on over man, have no fear"

She says, "Daddy died last year,
And I wish he were here"

So all your grand ambitions they're doing what they're told
Down at the bottom of the river where the old wife fingers go
They say the women dug this river
They filled it with their tears

And Daddy died last year,
Well I wish he were here..

So if you want to see me, I'm at the bottom of the stair
It's the place where no one looks for me, it's the place where no one dares
And if you think the times have been changing, well it's anywhere but here

See, Daddy died last year,
And I wish he were here..

So the Congressmen and the concubines are all happy in their cage
And women who surround them are all cute and under-age
At least we'll be remembered screaming, "Revolution's near!"

And daddy died last year,
Well I wish he were here..

So the lawyers completed me with papa's old harpoon
Hold it in a glove made of his barren woman's womb
She says she wants my bones to decorate his tomb

See, Daddy died last year,
And I wish he were here.

Oh, Daddy died last year,
And I wish he were here.

Daddy died last year,
And I wish he were here.
3 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[31 May 2006|01:37pm]


Hello, I'm agent Fox Mulder with the FBI.

I've learned a few things in my lifetime.





I want to believe.

1 +/- let's get fucked up & die

each morning she wakes with a dream to describe [24 May 2006|04:24pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

hello, my name is andrea, and i am determined to become a musician one day. i warn you, i am extremely determined and i have an immense love for art and coffee. i love some certain places in baton rouge that can make me feel like no one can. today, i took down every picture from my wall of every eighth grade memory i have. i am beginning with a new canvas of my wall to paint up something beautiful. a few bulletin boards with a title on the top displaying the people i love and the things that i like. music, sushi, writing, painting. i'm not quite sure what my new room will hold for me. i feel like i am leaving the house forever. i feel like i'm moving away to a new place and my mom has to re-paint the walls because of all the thumb tack holes. i feel like i want to do something great and exciting and something that i will never forget in my entire life. something that will be forever burned into my memory of one of the best days of my life. with every thumbtack i peeled out of the wall, i would laugh and smile and occasionally shed a tear thinking of last year and how unexplainably incredible it was for me. i made my biggest accomplishment, actually performing in front of an audience. i began writing and overcame one of my biggest troubles. i started eating lunch again last may. i had my first kiss, and my first kiss that meant anything. i held hands with a boy that i didn't care at all about. and i still fucking hate him. i wrote hundreds of songs and poems that i haven't shown anyone still. i got grounded every four weeks or so because of my grades. this year i did nothing like that. this year went too perfect to make any sort of interesting statement about how the bad things turned into beautiful memories. nothing like that happened. last year i acquired a strong love for coffee that i still have not lost. i went to CC's with him and he drove me insane when we called it off. no, idiot, i don't want to think of you. at all. and i don't. i scratched out his face in the pictures i have of him. they are useless scraps of paper and they mean absolutely nothing to me. i began going to shows last march and that event was one of the best for me, in the field of music. i got most of my inspiration from the shows i went to without him because i felt independent and i could do what i wanted. i remember when he went out of town, i called all my friends, guys and girls, and proclaimed my happiness that he was not hanging out with us that weekend and i could finally spend time with these people i loved more than him. last year, my dad said some of the most hurtful things i can ever remember anyone saying. i spend a lot of time reminiscing about events and memories i have kept from last year because it's one of the best i've ever experienced in my life. finally i had been socially accepted by everyone. people knew me and loved me; however, i did not have a best friend. i didn't think i needed one, when i really did. i needed one most last year; so many people tried reaching out to me, just to be declined by my pride. i had built up a lot of that when people began liking me. i didn't believe it would ever happen, and the day it did, i didn't really know what to do with it. i don't quite remember that day specifically, either. the funny thing is, right now i still have friends, a good number of them. i have a best friend who has not called me in 4 days. i have an undying love for music that will never cease. i have a pencil and a notebook waiting for me at all times and a guitar that remains unplayed. i have a billion cd's that have been waiting for years to be listened to. i have a game system that cries from having dust in its eyes. i have memories of places i used to go that molded me into this person i am today. i have many ups and downs and i am a human being just like you are who is reading this. i am far from perfect and i accept it. i have not found love and i accept it. i accept too many things, sometimes. i do sudoku puzzles constantly and i enjoy reading the newspaper while drinking a coffee outside at perk's. my favorite day of the year is the saint patrick's day parade in baton rouge. nothing ever felt like family to me until then. i have a very overdramatic and church-obsessed mother who loves me unconditionally. i have an asshole for a father and sometimes i like him. i have a sister whom i thoroughly enjoy her company and her car. i have another sister whom i also love to be with. my family is pretty much inseperable and i like us that way. the flaming lips make me feel warm, almost as if i've been drinking too much. i kind of like that a lot. i really like listening to my mp3s of the angels and airwaves cd, or just listening to that cd at all. i love burning incense and lighting candles in my room. i like change, but not in people. i am fragile and weak sometimes in certain areas and i get a lot of sores. they only get covered with forever-lasting band aids that never seem to quit working. those are my favorite kind. i like to hold hands and not kiss. i like to eat sushi and a lot of people i know said they have "almost THROWN UP" when they tried it. i live in a town full of rednecks where they ride atvs and drink every night as entertainment. sorry, denham springs. you are not, and never will be my home town. hello, my name is andrea and i am determined to become a musician one day.

2 +/- let's get fucked up & die

if i could have one more time to howl at the moon, i would give anything [01 Feb 2006|08:21pm]
[ mood | nice ]

"where the hell are you?!"
"i'm right in front of you."

:)

the occasional louisiana breeze is so nice. the air is really crisp in the morning so that when you breathed it stung inside your lungs. it made you feel like you were going to cough roughly and loudly, but you never did. your body realized that it's just oxygen. oxygen. you breathe again and your lungs don't sting. you follow your heart to do what's best to get exhilaration. you hold your breath, breathe again; your lungs begin to sting. you smile, and think to yourself, today will be an amazing, blue skied, cloudless, sunny, cold day.

i like when dogs follow me when i go running. it's so cute how they bark and then start following me like i'm some sort of a leader to them. after i get about halfway down the road, past their home, they realize that they're not with people that they love, and turn back to home. i like animals. i love nature. sugar free and fat free foods aren't as bad as i've presumed them to be. i'm starting not to hate school so much. it's nice..my psychiatrist is starting to help me out with my diet. i feel pretty good about it.

i close my eyes and i am gone.

i am in such a good mood right now. i like to run. i like to have adrenaline. i've never really been this way before and i'm pretty excited about how im coming along with this.

so for the past week i've been trying to get in shape and all. i've been kind of dieting, if you will. i've been exercising like a beast. i played tennis for an hour and a half tonight! it was so much fun. my legs hurt but i like it. i like tennis a lot. i like feeling good afterwards, too. i feel so good because i feel like i'm finally doing something about what i didn't like in myself. i love how i look forward to the weekends so much because i know how much fun they will hold for me. i love hanging out with my friends so much.

my friends, wow.
they really are so amazing to me. i could never imagine what or where i would be without whitney always there for me. without greg, without rackel. without so many people that i love. i would be one sad girl if i didn't have them.

i'd like to say that life is pretty good right now. it's treating me well, my grades are good and balanced, my eating habits are better, my exercising habits are much MUCH better, and i have P.E and made friends with all the coaches. i'm the loudest counter in the gym. duh. i have a loud mouth..why not put it to use.

and if i stare at the sun
i find out that i've just begun,
close my eyes and i am gone.


so, tell me about your first half of this week.


and, you should probably listen to the slackers.
they put me in the most amazing moods. i paint really well to them! try it. go on.

dead man, were you ever alive,
or was i just a seed, buried deep inside
some woman you wed
right before you crawled out of her bed
and crept down the hall
did you think of me?
did you even for a second
hesitate in the doorway?
it's just something
that i'd like to know
though i'd still love you
if you told me
that you just walked away.

my god, what a world you love.
5 +/- let's get fucked up & die

[04 Dec 2005|11:15am]
today when i was sitting on the counter next to the toaster, having a heart to heart talk with my mom, i looked out the window parallel to me. the clouds were chasing the daylight away. they were running across the grass, and quickly they passed. the grass is still that pale sick green shade, and turning to a blank brown, quietly dying in the ground. the trees display this blank, dead expression that i cannot read.

the only thing i seriously want for christmas is either elixir guitar strings, armor for sleep merch, boys night out merch, or a new guitar. the last one is completely ruled out, im sure. i wont be disappointed.

last night was pretty cool. i saw a boy that i like hehe. he's way cute. i saw a lot of people i love. i felt bad for my love whitney. i love her so much, theres really no other explanation for it. hehe. i love my friends, a lot.

i consider her to be my best friend.

because she is. and she won't ever leave my side.

i really like writing those descriptions at the beginning of all my entries. i hope you guys like reading them just as much ♥
3 +/- let's get fucked up & die

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]