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ian clyde

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Over Text [Monday
February 26th, 2007 at 8:26am]
Stop asking me such juvenile questions
Ones to which I cant answer for you.
Your facetious manner is truly biting down on my pride.
Stop reminding me, please stop reminding me that I
Have too much on my mind.
I’ll be tempted to blame this all on you.

I won’t shut my mouth, you’ll just have to deal with
What I am doing now. All this trouble is because I couldn’t
Shut my mouth, it calms me down.

I cant help you with your petty requests and
The things you want me to undo.
I’m in too good of shape to stop myself now
The words you speak, The words you speak are incoherent
To what im trying to get across.
You shot blankly in the air and you shot me down.

But I won’t shut my mouth, you’ll just have to deal with
What I am doing now. All this trouble is because I couldn’t
Shut my mouth, it calms me down.

Well its getting cold out, the streets are covered with leaves
And festive decorations unnoticed by the ongoing traffic.
Yet, its all just descriptive adjectives which basically sort out
Myself and how I feel right now

But I won’t shut my mouth, you’ll just have to deal with
What I am doing now. All this trouble is because I couldn’t
Shut my mouth, it calms me down.
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[Wednesday
February 14th, 2007 at 9:46pm]
... I am a fucking Genius ...

~fin~
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Spent... [Friday
January 19th, 2007 at 8:49pm]
[ mood | cold ]

I am spent, I am wasted on diligently making my way past what is real.
All my efforts in vain and a huge waste of time. I put a price tag on every last action I make, then I determine how much it will cost to take it out of the tyical in figuration... the cliche.
Once again, I'm spent... I have now resorted myself to practicing frugality and starving my senses until my nosebleeds on a dangerously frequent occasion. I dislike the wearing of normal shoes, they do not comfort me. I paint pictures of snowmen without faces, then continue to draw bat heads on velociraptor bodies. I study astronomy to prove what society today lives by wrong. I make faces at people I don't know in a serious matter so that one day, just maybe, they'll see me and say "Isn't that the guy who...". I am a good listener, but when it comes to high school, what do they call it?.. Drama?.. I just can't follow that tune. I wish I was a penguin, because if i was, I'd slide on my belly until my face hit icy, cold, arctic waters, then let the ocean decide what kind of animal I am.

To me...

I'm spent...

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[Sunday
January 7th, 2007 at 10:15pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Give me a break. Raining again. City earlier today. Tired now.

Advice to those who can't live out of high school, bite your tongue. We don't wish to hear it.

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star what? [Monday
November 20th, 2006 at 3:44pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Whattup? I called my old job, starbucks. They told me to come in on monday to talk, i must say, i think i have the job back. ill post if i did, i should. but yeah, many presents for my darling, gas money tips and equipment for me. I'm not complaining. Free coffee and food, why not?

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[Tuesday
August 29th, 2006 at 10:33am]
[ mood | moody ]

this senior year will be garbage. i have gay ass classes, wish i knew what order i had em in. all i know is that i got gym and two englishes with a full schedule of fucking electives... i mean gtf outtttttt. and just to let everyone know, im not doing group work, fuck that. too many bullshit classes for having to deal with other people. i wanna go in and get out. end of story.

much love, PEACE

~IAN~

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wut the fuck music scene [Thursday
August 24th, 2006 at 9:39pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Yo fuck, Music is dead, im fuckin sick of its shit, I'm sick of people losing their true sense in music. It's no longer singing about truth, its singing about singing about girls in negative ways, and singing about how "Lame" the "scene" is.... i mean SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! The fucking scene is singing about the scene? since fucking when, shut up, If you so wish sign about girls, sing about how you wear makeup, cause you knwo in your deep thoughts thats what you want to sing about, be fucking true, dipshits, just because labels look for the new "thing" doezsnt mean you have to. it just means you have to be more true, FAGGOTS, just cause they say no dont talk about girls doesnt mean DONT TALK ABOUT GIRLS, it means if you truly have those feelings for girls FUCKING PROVE IT!!! dont say "oh i love you girl" say "girl, you inspire my heart to beat at every sun you ignite because without you I'm left in the depths" os some shit like that. yo FUCK the motherFUCKER who said rock and roll is dead because rock and roll lives in the past, never died for me, just every FUCK who says WE ARE ROCK AND ROLL is a SHIT FUCKING LIAR cause all they sing and bitch about is how everyones side swipe bangs are making them cry, well you know what i say, YOUR FUCKING BITCHING IS DEAD, MUSIC IS DEAD, BUT TRUE ROCK AND ROLL WILL LIVE FOREVER IN THE PAST, STOP TRYING TO BRING IT BACK WITH YOUR FALSE MOVES, HAVE FUN INSTEAD OF DEBATING, FAGGOTS.


ps: much love, no harm, fuck you for saying I'm contradicting myself by calling everyone else "BITCHERS" cause i'm not bitching, i'm proving a point, and putting TRUE feeling into my work. FUCKIN BITCHERS!!!!!!!

<3

bitch
























oh yea kerri, i love you... thought id add that since i havent updated in a while

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[Sunday
August 13th, 2006 at 9:16pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

soo, i figure myself out little by little after each day is through.. I figure today that i'm a real wilderness kinda guy, and i really love goats!

today me and kerri went to the county fair which was kinda lame... no it was really lame, the only cool thing was the petting zoo, and when a rooster crowed in our faces scaring the shit out of both of us..

another thing i found out about myself is that i have a huge heart for friends and family.. it makes me almost tear while listening to someday never as well... mikey mo, DONT GO!!!!!!

and yes, i have a huge fucking problem, a very big fucking problem, and its called self motivation.


a motivation to eat very small parts of servings for every other meal. i feel i dont need to eat THAT much to stay alive... yes, i have a problem,and its not that i dont feel the need to eat THAT much, its whats in my head making me think that...
I am afraid of being fat/overweight/lazy... i'd say i have a problem, its taken me many of months to come out and say this..
I dont feel its THAT big of a problem because i've been worse.. I've gone on streaks of no eating for days on end, I've had bulemia, i used to throw up after excessively eating full plates of food... yes, i am sick..

I am aware that I am completely fucked up in the head, but please, stop pointing out to me that I am, it just makes me feel like killing someone, and plllllease stop indirectly telling me that i HAVE to eat, because i really dont, I'm trying to eat normal one step at a time, dont fucking push me........

and i mean that with love, i love you all, understood that you all care for me, i love you

~IAN~

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mm, sippin' coffee [Saturday
August 12th, 2006 at 11:17am]
[ mood | calm ]

so uhh, yea tour has been over for like 2 days, and im still feeling restless and crappy, but i dont really mind, its life, i do it for my peeps!! yo word life throw gangsigns and shit.... anywhooooooo our next show isnt for another week and a day!!! tho im sure someone will be booking a show soon. until then im just reading books, writing songs on my acoustic, sippin on coffee and an occasional appearance at the boro!! stickin to my roots, thats whats up.

heres a few lines of truth i like to stick in my songs..

"I lost my love for music while consuming metaphors.."

"This leaves me with nothing or less to fall in love with, except for myself.. and that ain't much"

"a lack of inspiration catches my ear, now i'm stuck, to listen closely (listen closely)."

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[Saturday
August 5th, 2006 at 3:05pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

This week was sleepless, tiresome, and stressful.. kerri has been on vacation, ive been home, unable to sleep... i feel like garbage right now... i need sleep, i have a show tonight, warped tour tomorrow, new york monday, wednesday hamilton street.... fuckin tour, is fuckin sick, but fuckin pain in the ass at the same time, i jsut want to sleep.. I miss kerri, shell be here in a few minutes tho i cant fucking wait, i lvoe her to death, maybe ican sleep when i know shes home and safe.. hey, IF YOURE GOING TO WARPED TOUR, CHECK SAYRELIN AND SOMEDAY NEVER, OUT!!! we'll be sharing a tent with merch and shit.. good shit. . .


anywho i LVOE my baby girl and shell be here soon, cant talk now.. must go welcome her

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[Tuesday
July 18th, 2006 at 8:16pm]
[ mood | moody ]

HOLY SHIT MYSPACE HAS TAKEN OVER I KNEW IT, NOBODY HAS UPDATED THEIR JOURNAL IN SO LONG AND ITS ALL MYSPACES FAULT!!!! NOOOOOOoooooooo i hate my life... its over its all over... because of myspace......... WELL YOU CAN KEEP YOURSPACE YOU BASTARDS TAKE ALL MY FRIENDS AWAY TAKE THEM ALL, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODAMMITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!




fuck you stupid myspace creatures of zombism

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this boring sum of relaxed average.. [Monday
July 17th, 2006 at 11:16pm]
[ mood | hot ]

... so, today was kinda pointless... i played violin for a few hours... then played guitar a few hours... then decided i needed a job so i applied to BJ's.... annnd.... i checked out new equipment at guitar center due to my stuff fucking up yesterday at the summer campout... fuck that shit... then i came home and decided to make artsy pics for kerri to use in her artwork.. im so fucking distracted and uncomfortable today.. it makes me feel disgusting and awkward... i fucking fucking fawking hate this fucking fucking place of fuck!!!!

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shit [Sunday
July 16th, 2006 at 11:38pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I'm really exhausted and i must say, i'd like to have people over my house more often.. its fun

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wow its fucking hot [Sunday
July 16th, 2006 at 11:13pm]
so as you all know its been hot as balls out all week.. annd today sayrelin played at the starland summer campout.. well my stuff decided to crap out right before we were going on, figures ya know.. people still liked us tho, even though we didnt really fit in, it was all ska and shit, and then there was us lol.. lemme tell you.... ska is fucking dead, its the worste shit ever it gave me a headache today.. i hate horns, and i hate checkered flags... i really do.... and i hate kids who are in shit ska bands that talk shit about good bands... and i hate starland security... annnd i hate how starland invites bands to play then treats the bands like garbage, thats not fucking cool, concerts east is a no-go... fuck them.. theyre dirt bags..i dont care what anyone says..

on another note, i almost had a heat stroke during the end of cancellation (sayrelin song)it was sick, everything sounded far away, and i felt like i was watching myself play, it was fucked up...

and yea, i lvoe livejournal, i can talk on htis thing all day, and fuck myspace, its taking over.... and theyre going into the corporate world to take over your life..
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FUCK YEA [Thursday
July 13th, 2006 at 11:46am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

WOW!!! i haven't been on this thing since... i don't remember when, but here i am!!

I wish i knew how to make the text background transparent so you can see my whole band in my page background LAWLZZSS!

not much has been up with me really lately, selling tickets for this sunday when we play with mxpx, streetlight manifesto, rell big fish, bowling for soup and so forth.. I'm actually in the mood to murder someone... so not much has changed.

the big S ayre LIN is playing warped tour '06 in old bridge if you didn't know..

last night we did a little acoustic set of three songs for an ice cream parlor/coffee shop, it was jsut something new..

if anyone can tell me how to make my text background transparent i'd love to listen.

peace

~IAN~

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yes, this is public [Sunday
August 21st, 2005 at 1:28am]
From here on i'll be open and public
but only with things i think people wont care about,
nobody reads this journal anyway.... thats the point anyways... i think
im just sorta gonna babble and ramble like i always do, im gonna be really
metaphorical and without focus ill just spill words out to this keyboard ok?
simple enough,here goes..

Summer was really dull, i was really excited for it cause no school and in school i had a
tight group of friends to talk to, but hey vthats highschool drama ya know, ya got friends
ya got it all, youre having fun then shit hits the fan and then youre back on the road
thats neverending looking for your own personal reason for living, then you realize you live for love,
and to love, and then theres the point of "wow, too good to be true" then jealousy kicks in, but
im not one to be jealous so thats doesnt really go for me, but anywho, just rambling, ok
so school is coming soon, im really apathetic as to what will happen this year, i really dont fucking care, hah, i dont even care who i havent seen since june, sorry if youre one of them, its just if i havent seen you since then, then you werent my friend to begin with so hey, cant complain..
the big deal is, who i wont be seeing when school starts, orr, who i never wanted to see again when school starts, and yea studio in september i dontthink i wanna go to school, ill just go record music, and whatever hits my way. and no, im not going to drop out, sounds like it but no...
ok now about music i write songs alone.. iwrite songs about personal shit, and stuff during the few days i get inspiration. i guess you can say im somewhat of an artist, and well you get the idea..
shit happens, i dunno why, but i never really listened to something corporate, i respected them as good musicians and such, but never really had the interest, but lately ive been feeling all emotional to listen to them, and the whole fact that cancer is getting around to everyone, and everyoens getting sick, and im sick of my feelings, and my personality... things have been geting me really sensitive, so i get these constant ramblings going on its fuckings stupid, and thats part of the drama, i mean ive always had my sensitive side, but i always kept it in and it kinda jsut gets stirred up in my blender and turns into anger and insomnia, but...... when i ramble and whatever i do, i get tired... its like if i just let go i have no worry, then im happy, sometimes too happy, then i get annoying, but yeah, i watched fight club enough times to realize that the whole intro matches my life almost too well, "when you have insomnia, nothing is real, everything is a copy of a copy.. of a copy.." and ya know what its so true, cause when youre up thinking really hard for a really lonnnnnng time, you realize the simple thngs you dont normally see, and you turn into some fucking psycho who figures outthe world and finally figures humans have no point of being here, "we are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world"....... god, the further i go into this entry the more stupid i sound, huh.. thats what you think, but in my head its coming out pretty sound and calm, and honestly i have no idea what i was talking about 10 lines ago, i dont even know if i have ten lines of words, im jsut typing, rambling, mumbling to myself, words that may make sense when someone wants to listen and stop to thnk, "hey, maybe this guy actually knows what hes talking about" said the man behind the keyboard who remains anonymous, because not even himself knows who he really is....
Is he ?HAPPY? who knows, another "fabrication" to make it seem as if someone has no problems in their life, HAHA id like to see the day someone pulls that off, id shake whoever-they-are's hand and at that moment ill give them a nice handful of problems, wouldnt that make a terrible person like me "happy", i bet it would for a moment, in empty space,........................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If youve read this far, you prolly really care about me or you really have nothing better to do, but rea the lowest things one person can say alone, THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE, please take my hand, walk me to the entrance, call the police, have them cuff me, so you can have your way.... with a smurk on your face, cold sweat on your neck, heart beating hard, and a splintered baseball bat... its jsut what i need about this time, because everyone around me sorta wants me gone, cause once i come around i overstay my welcome... and the only way to get rid of me is to break my solid heart, and/or bash my skull in, id prefer to live surprisingly, cause all i live for is the next waking moment i may have to see wide open eyes and a nervous bite to the lip a sigh of unsure thoughts, a conversation through grins, silent whispers, and whatever else anyone can think of that may be clever and actually enjoyable to read..... i havent had one of those moments in a while tho so once again, doesnt pretain to me.... nothin usually does....... seems that way dont it. i should write a book, cause peopel love reading books about other people, but the other people cant be the author, so why not I, MYSELF, write a book trying to write about myself, and uhh itll work out good, cause im....... a complete loser, anyway new topic, unless you wanna know more about me.. not much to know, but i have an idea, Im gonna talk about myself and you be the judge as to if im telling the truth...
ok here goes, Im a loser, a complete dork.. i speak of empty theories that make slight sense, and i also come up with a ridiculous philosophy on life.. im a sucker sometimes, i fall for "dumb blonde" jokes and laugh at plain Dumb ones, i have a hardcore loud laugh that is very annoying and im embarassed everytime it comes out, Im 5 foot something, i have really light blue eyes, and unruly hair... an awkward body.. in the words of a friend im "stumpy" .... haha i guess thats a good explanation, I'm friendly, but many people hate me for that, gender doesnt matter to me, and to the world thats politically incorrect, You can never be "just friends" which is retarded, but one cant complain, ill just forget that idea i guess, nah i dont guess, i will forget... because like i said im a sucker, and a slave to whats right, a slave to politics if you wanna be a techinical asshole like me... I'm not greedy.... but i want a lot of shit.. that last line takes some thinking but it does make sense.... lets say, I want to be able to sleep whenever... thats nt being greedy cause I CAN NEVER SLEEP unless i breakdown and send all my worries out into text or words blowing in the wind for others to hear and have one more thing to HATE me for. oh yeah, did i mention i think everyone hates me, but i dont care, cause i know eventually theyll forget about me, and ill eventually be the one hating cause i cant stop thinking of how much that person hated me.. now tell me, is that rich or what?!. it is pretty rich, but im not, im a broke mother fucker, but i work my ass off when i dont have to, my job i can jsut stand around all day staring at a dirty unmopped floor, clean windexed windows and teller machines, and collect money like a bank robber.. but noo im a complication, im "the scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal, only if you could stop tonguing it".... I annoy my manager/boss, whatever you wanna call him, by asking him "what can i do?" maybe he thinks im saying "im bored" but im not... im one of the few people who work there that feel that i dont deserve my paycheck if i dont work... so i sweep, dust, windex windows, collect garbage and throw it away, basically, break my back for minimum wage.... sad....... but true..... Im not appreciated, im just here.... im the guy whos always around, and always there to talk to.... but nobody ever does.. its awesome, i get an occasional conversation sparked but then, as it starts its dead, once every other year i get a nice long convo about random shit, and after that its a mystery why im ignored.... heh, actually it doesnt take scooby doo to figure out why im ignored... just look at me adn read my description, its stamped "LOSER" oorrrrrrr "FUCKING MORON WITH STUPID HAIR" haha im good at this game...

well, i can go on forever but unfortunately im on someone elses computer, and im apparently not allowed to use it when hes around... "off limits"

well hope you enjoyed my shitty rambling..

one more quote

"i am jacks____" at this moment id like to have the reader fill that blank in for me anonymously if you want, i dont care... just describe what you think of my shitty life and relate it to some disease or disorder you think i may have... think of me as jack....
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[Thursday
August 19th, 2004 at 11:27pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

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