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18th March 2009

11:00pm: holy shit!
look at my MOM.

31st January 2009

12:45pm: i have nothing to say
so i guess i'll do a meme.

1. i'm a constant procrastinator. nothing ever gets done until 3am the night before it's due, even if i start early.

2. i'm allergic to black hair dye, including the natural ones. this sucks because now i'm a permanent blond, even though i consider myself sort of a goth/ angry kid (er, thirty-something.)

3. i hate confrontation so much that i get panic attacks just thinking about it.

4. i donated a kidney to my dad four years ago. it wasn't as big of a deal as people think it was.

5. i love dogs and hate cats, even though i'm a leo. honestly, sometimes i think i might be a weird dog person, i talk to other peoples' dogs at the dog park.

6. i'm not happy with what i'm doing with my life, and i kind of think i'm waiting for something to happen, instead of making something happen. see #1.

7. i've never broken a bone, but i have more scars than most people.

8. with the exception of the biggies like rent, student loans and car note, i never pay my bills on time. see #1.

9. i'm a really good cook, a poor baker, and a fantastic soup maker. seriously with the soup.

10. i've wanted to have kids since i was about 16, but the older i get the scarier that seems to me.

11. i love music more than almost anything else, but i can't carry a tune to save my life.

12. i have a horrible sense of style. my outfits always look stupid but my hair always looks fantastic.

13. i work two jobs, and i get a day off once every two or three months. i make all kinds of plans for things to accomplish that day, but usually just sleep all day long.

14. i think big boobs are stupid, and just look like a giant butt on my chest. i think it's weird that people think they are sexual.

15. i am petrified of snakes. can't look at them, can't be near them, can't really even look at a picture of them. petrified.

16. i'm a mac girl. i was gonna say computers, but then i realized makeup, too.

17. everyone says i should start a business of my own with my crafting. i'm too scared to do it on my own.

18. i'm kind of bossy or maybe just a know-it-all. it sucks to realize that kind of stuff about yourself.

19. whenever i'm home, i'm either naked or close to it. i really don't like wearing clothes.

20. i don't know how to burp. sometimes i have to make my boyfriend pat me on the back so a burp will come up.

21. i'm constantly making mental lists of what i would do if i won millions, even though i never play the lotto.

22. i've had insomnia since i was a little kid, and honestly don't remember the last time i felt well rested.

23. i think my mom is as close to perfect as a human can get, and i'm not a thing like her.

24. i've never been out of the country (except mexico) and i've never been anywhere in the middle of the country.

25. i'm severely addicted to caffeine.

22nd December 2008

11:30am: on cowboys and robbers
so my weekend job is at a bar/restaurant. (so is my weekday job, but that's a different story) i work in the bar, and we have a lot of bar-only patrons but it is also a nice restaurant, so there is a weird sort of split between people out for a nice dinner and people looking to get schnockered.


wait, i forgot! i got asked out twice this friday night! do you know how often that happens to me? once.


anyway...

there is this cowboy that comes into my work occasionally, i have personally kicked him out twice. once for telling the ladies next to him some jokes about domestic violence, and once for calling his wife a "fucking lying whore". both he did at the top of his lungs, both times he cleared my bar, both times he called me names (cunt, bitch, whore) and told me to shut my fucking mouth. fun! i've made it clear to my management that i don't want him to come in anymore. last time my manager (mark) didn't kick him out, so i called the cops, and then a busboy kicked him out for me, even though that is not at all part of his job.

mind you, this guy is from texas, wears a cowboy hat, and i get the feeling he might carry a weapon. he is also a vietnam vet, and has implied that he learned some "tricks" in that war.

so he came in this weekend, i made myself disappear, called the manager out to make him leave, and the manager lets him stay. great. i'm standing at the bar with this crazy vet-cowboy staring holes through me face, trying to ignore him, and he starts in with the "fucking cunt" comments again. he finally leaves, and i go and tell the manager (mark) that i feel in danger, and he needs to do something about it.

forgive the sexism here, but i find his lack of balls astounding.

he says "don't worry. it's fine. he won't come back." so about and hour later he comes back in, looking a little crazy eyed. i run into the office and call my boyfriend to come down, and mark gets offended (!!!!!!!!) by me calling in reinforcements. so you know what he does? NOTHING!!!! a busboy kicks him out again. awesome.

..........................................................................................



that night, i park and i'm walking up to the front of my building. there are two front apartments, mine and another, and a locked gate between us. as i'm walking up, my neighbor is crouched at the gate, unlocking his bike. i get right next to him and realize he isn't my neighbor, he is some homeless looking guy, and he's stealing the bike. i'm not sure if he knows i'm there so i don't want to run, but i don't want to startle him either, so i loudly throw my soda in the trash can next to me. he looks up and as he says "oh, i'm trying to fix my bike" i see that he has a big ass wrench in his hand, so i quickly unlock the gate and scoot inside. i tell my boyfriend what is happening. he asks how big the wrench is, i show him with my hands, then he grabs a fork and and rushes outside just as the guy runs away down the street.

..........................................................................................


my crush that comes into my work is also a cowboy. he wears a black cowboy hat and has long gray hair and a bushy mustache. weird, right? but he looks and sounds like sam elliot and he's six foot six inches at the least. imagine!



and then i found out that he is some crazy intelligent mathematician. and then i died. the end.

12th December 2008

12:39am: from browniegirl322

Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions of a very personal nature.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.





because i can't think of anything interesting to writeCollapse )

5th November 2008

3:15pm: dear california,
i'm so disappointed in you.

4th November 2008

8:50pm: dear friends,
YAY!

8th July 2008

4:08pm: you are going to be so sick of arthur the scientologist.



pink and black toe pads. !!!!!!!!!!!!

3rd July 2008

12:01am: let me show you.
yeah, i haven't been around very much, sorry friends. but two important things have happened to me.

1-I GOT A PUPPY!!! he is adorable, his name is Arthur the Scientologist, and i'm about to show you too many pictures.

2- i got a huge-ass tumor on my back removed. i will show you pictures at another time, but i will put them behind a cut because they are DEES-GUST-ING.

on to arthur: AH MY GAH HE IS SO AWESOME.

i was at a rescue event, and this little thing snuggles up on my neck and i was DONE FOR.


YES THERE'S MORECollapse )

sorry for the gratuitous use of capitals and the bajillion pics, but what i mean is this: isn't my dog awesome?

8th April 2008

2:14pm: hi
i swear, once things slow down a little bit, i'll go back to regular postings. meantime, quick bullets:

-i moved into the awesomest apartment. as soon as i've unpacked and found my camera and finished nesting i'll show you pictures.

-moving sucks.

-unpacking sucks, too.

-still working like a madwoman, at this point i'm really unsure of how to stop working so much, it's become such a routine.

-have a stove again, cooking as much as i can. have a new found love for lima beans (thanks to pancetta and chicken stock) and instense new passion for brussels sprouts (thanks to the roasting process.)

-looking for furniture is a pain in the ass.

otherwise, same ol' shit.

19th February 2008

2:23pm: that nasty flu virus is currently kicking my ass
i've been suffering from off and on fever, constant coughing, sore throat and the like since early thursday night. everyone tells me this shit is supposed to last for about fourteen days, which makes me really angry.

actually, being this sick, everything makes me really angry, including, but not limited to:

~television programming
~lack of delivery of greek soup
~not being able to get shifts covered at work
~people talking to me
~people not talking to me
~coughing instead of sleeping
~dirty dishes/ house
~seriously, fucking everything makes me angry

8th December 2007

1:08pm: so i tried to dye my hair a less yellow shade of blonde, and accidentally turned it, um, sort of a beautiful silvery-blue shade. oops! off to wash my hair, oh, about 57 times.

4th December 2007

12:45am: ignore this, it's sentimental drivel.
i'm missing my boyfriend, so i went back and read something that he wrote about our fifth date. i found it heartbreakingly adorable, and for whatever reason, decided to post it.

i'd love it if we made important plans to go out to some snazzy hipster elitist party and had reservations at some exclusive/expensive restaurant before hand, and then when you got to my house and looked as dazzling as any girl i had ever daydreamed about, you saw that i had spent way too much time worrying about looking cute for you, and you thought it was cute in a sad sorta way that my floor was covered in the 18 pairs of pants i had tried on and rejected in an effort to make you think i had it as together as you always do. then we'd both sit on my floor and i'd play you my new favorite song, and you'd think it was good, then i'd play you my old favorite song and you'd think it was great, then i'd play you my all time favorite song and ask you if you wanted to slow dance with me, and we would. we'd take turns playing each other the good songs from our favorite records and slow dancing and not noticing that we had completely missed the chance to go out, and not caring anyway 'cause there wouldn't be anyone else i'd want to talk to, or share your attention with. after a few drinks you'd tell me about the time you saw a ghost at the mall, and i'd tell you about how i got "cheeked" at the junior prom. I'd show you pictures of my Dad and brag about how handsome he was, and i'd show you the shirt i made with my best friends face on it that says "endless love". you would show me your first drivers license photo, back when you were grunge and it would be so crushingly cute that it would give me a stomach ache. i'd pull your shirt up a little and lay my head on your bare stomach and feel like i was in the best place in the world. you would reach down and squeeze my hand and say "MINE" and be completely serious about it. and we'd both fall asleep on my floor and i'd sleep the safest sleep i'd ever slept.
i'm asking you on a date for the rest of your life."


is it any wonder i fell in love?

12th November 2007

2:33pm: BRAINS!!!!!!!!
a little late, but... BRAINS!!!!!

25th October 2007

12:36am: dear terrified:
~whatever you do, don't go see thirty days of night. if you must see it, don't see the last showing so that when you need to go pee you are alone in the stupid theater lounge. just you and the vampires.

~also, to note, getting drunk beforehand does not make it easier.

~furthermore, russians now scare the shit outta me.


~lastly, it might seem like it would be scarier when kerry king sits behind you:



it is not, because he is about 5'3".

~what is scary, my friends, is that my boyfriend can't stop humming the riffs from slayer songs.

23rd October 2007

12:20am: let me tell you what an asshole i am.
so, in case you didn't know, southern california is on fire. and all i can do is complain about how the fucking fire and fucking weather are making my allergies act up something crazy.

oh, yer house burnt down? yeah, my eyes are, like, buggin' out from the soot.

3rd September 2007

1:03am: the new car:
her name is tabitha, and she's much prettier in person.


20th August 2007

2:44am: it's late, i'm tired
new news:

-new job
-new car

more later. not that it's all that interesting, anyway.

8th August 2007

1:07pm: i guess i've never showed you.
i make lots of crafty stuff, gifts and what not. mostly kntting or sewing. i thought i'd post some pics, in case you were curious. i don't know why you'd be curious.

cut for dial-uppersCollapse )

that's all i have now, i'll post more (unless this is completely annoying). i wanted to post pics from my birthday party, but i forgot to take out my camera until it was too late to take good pics. i'll see if i can steal some from claudia.

28th June 2007

2:28pm: have i mentioned
that my new little niece was born this saturday? that there is a new bebeh for me to dote on and love on and smell the top of her head? cause, yes, that is what happened. i know they all look like little old men when they are born, but you have to see her...

awwwwwwwwCollapse )

9th June 2007

6:06pm: bullet points, i guess.
- i had been going to the pound on weekends, looking for a dog to adopt. after a few months i fell in love with a pup who i named "george the girl dog." she was some mix of corgi and doxie and something bigger, and was the cutest ever. that dog, she just wanted to party with me. i went to visit her a bunch, and when it was her adoption day, i showed up early and sat cross-legged outside the shelter. i was the first one there for her, filled out the required paperwork, called my property management to find out my pet deposit amount. they told me "No Pets" even though i had already been told "yes, pets" and three of my eight neighbors have (management sanctified) pets. i scrambled to fix it, but it was too late and george got adopted the next day. i cried for three days.

- that was pretty long for a bullet point.

- i got sick two weeks ago, it was pretty much the sickest i've ever been. i had to work, though, because they couldn't find coverage for me. i was mean to everyone. i am still blowing my nose over the whole thing. i hate blowing my nose.

- got a call last night from my friend anita, inviting me to see morrissey* at the hollywood bowl. i've never seen morrissey. i cried during how soon is now and please please please let me get what i want (which he sang as who i want.) i didn't get to, but would have given my left titty to see him perform suedehead or jack the ripper. but i ain't complaining.

- after the show my friend and i waited for the crowd to get out, and while waiting, she pointed out a very cute girl, and said how pretty her dress was. i immediately recognized said girl as plain_love and she was with claudelemonde! i ran up doing my happy dance, much to the horror of anita, who did not recognize them.

- got lost in about 25 different ways, ending up in crenshaw, compton, wilmington, and a few other unsavory places at three in the a.m. oops!

- i don't think that three freeways (101, 110, 105: you know who you are) should all have the same exits that drop you off in very very different places. i grew up in southern california, people. i still can't figure out most of the freeways.

- got home at 4:30 this morning. sad boyfriend was awake, waiting for me to get home. (read: awake, waiting to see if i got a morrissey pillowcase.)

-tonight: pirateadventuretowne, bitches!

well, that long winded shit was a waste of perfectly good bullet points. i should go back and change it. but i'm not going to. suck it.






*um, that was INVITING ME TO SEE MORRISSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14th February 2007

12:49am: i'm just finishing up dinner now, scotch on the rocks and half a loaf of bread. i'll probably have a spoonful of goat cheese in a few minutes. (yeah, i know. fuck you.)

i spent the last week getting together a valentine's day present for my niecey, and mailed it, cause when i was a little sprout, getting stuff in the mail was the coolest (this is before bills, of course.) i might post pictures if i'm not too lazy, but i made her:

~ strawberry marshmallows (yummy! and not as tedious as i would have expected) cut into heart shapes.

~ chocolate-covered heart-shaped strawberry marshmallows. (double yum!!!)

~ heart shaped marbled crayons.

~ a wee pink fuzzy scarf. (cause she said "all the drown ups have starfs! lee-lee, will you make me a starf, too?")

~ a necklace and hair clips made from heart shaped buttons

~a photo album with a heart on the cover, i was gonna out pics of all her family and buddies, but i ran out of time.

that's it. it's a wonder that child is not a freaking horror, considering i'm not the only one that spoils her. seriously though, sometimes she calls and leaves jokes on my answering machine and then says "i love you, lee lee! come play with me soon! i miss you." she's four, people. that is UNHEARD of.


so i have to work tomorrow night. no biggy, i kind of don't give a shit about valentine's day. not in a romantic sense, anyway. I know korri loves me, he knows i love him. i don'[t really need him to get me something to prove it. unless he wants to get me a new car.

however, i love a day that is all about love. i hope everyone feels loved on valentine's day.



i love you, lj friends. i love you real life friends. i love you crafting. i love you, internets. i love you, scotch.

1st February 2007

2:20am: leah: you know, milo, you are pretty much my favorite.

milo (the ipod): ahh, sank you, mon cherie. i, too, have feelings for you.

leah: really? i kinda thought you were like that with all the girls.

milo : (one teeny finger to my lips) shhh shhhh shhhh. zeese feelings i have for you are special.

leah: (stars in my eyes) wow. i mean. wow.

milo : yes, i know, my darlink.

leah: i mean, i already thought you were amazing before, but when i found out i could play solitaire, i was just hooked.

milo : (grins, squints his eyes) ahh, yes, zis i know. i like it cause you teekle my tummy for zo long. i geegle and geegle.

leah: sigh. i know, milo. i love your laugh.

milo : and i lof your laff, mon petit chou chou.

leah: mon petit...??? huh?

milo : it means cabbage head. it doesn't translate well. forgeet i said anysing.

leah: no, no! i think it's cute.

milo : and zpeaking of cyoot! zis sveater you made for me. it'z amazink. i lof eet. i do.

leah: oh, milo. it's so great how i can just stay up all night with you, and we can be as loud as we want, but i don't even disturb the neighbors!

milo : let zee neighbors be damned!

leah: oh, milo! you're so charismatic!

milo : itz my lof for you. it makes me feel like i can be wild!

leah: that's so sweet.

milo : i lof you, mon petit chou chou.

leah: i love you, too, little ipod. i love you too.


annnnd. scene.

29th January 2007

2:26pm: lately
i've been nesting. i'm not sure exactly why.

~i've been making up for lost time on cuteoverload. i've downloaded pictures of many fuzzy things and printed many pictures of animals in halloween costumes. all the fuzz and chubby tummies and big eyes are making me delirious. i have a need for cuteness. somebody have a baby, stat!

~i've been working on all of my unfinished knitting projects: baby booties, baby hat (i guess i lied, some people are having babies, stat) and dad's scarf. i have lovingly knit my ipod (my precious) a leetle sveater. i feel accomplished. sort of.

~i have done too much fucking with my hair, and i don't like it now. options: cut it off (pixie, yo) which Korri delicately tells me "well, you know, that's very hard to pull off." (um, duh? check out these cheekbones, though, stooopid.) or suck it up and keep my paws off it. (note to self #13245877533. stop giving yourself feckin' bangs, dummy.)

~i have invented the recipe for the best lasagna known to man kind. for reals.

~i spend entirely too much time on line looking at knitting patterns and at yarn. i spend more time doing this than i spend actually knitting. counterproductive, no? yesh.

~my external hard drive keeps disappearing off of my desk top, and it's making me crazy. where am i supposed to download my cute pictures to?

~petfinder.com daily. i want to rescue a small thing. one that barks. and cuddles.

~my car is broken. again. it's stuck in park. i hate it. more than i have ever hated anything.

8th January 2007

1:52pm: well, i took the plunge and did it. i bleached my hair.

for those of you who have bleached your hair before, you know the result. my roots are pure white, the tips that were black are now reddish (I'm gonna say PMS173) and the bulk of my hair is yellow. a real gross buttery yellow. (eh, about PMS143)

yeah. it's yuckers. i feel like jared leto as angel face in fight club: so bleachy that he looks ruddy. please note that i did not bleach my eyebrows.

oh well. the good news is no alleric reaction (or at least a very very very slight allergic reaction.) i hope to be platinum by next weekend.



in other news, i had a horrible nightmare last night. it involved neighbors trying to kill us (korri, his momma, a bunch of other people we lived with?) there were guns and car chases and crooked cops and snipers and everything. as it unfolded, i realized i was pregnant with a kid and that's why they wanted me killed. i think it was sort of like terminator. near the end of the dream, i broke into this old couple's house, and they were nice and let me hide out in their shed, covered me up with sleeping bags and stuff so i could hide.

at that point i assumed that everyone on my team was dead. i heard the bad guys come into the old couple's house and tear it apart looking for me. then i heard them kill the old couple. i saw their headlights swing past as if they were driving away. moments later i heard footsteps running towards the shed i was in. i braced myself for the inevitable. someone climbs inside the shed, breathing hard, and lifts the sleeping bag off of me. it's korri, sweaty and dirty, but alive. he grins at me and says "man, those guys are not invited to the wedding." cue indiana jones theme song. how very bruce willis of you, my one-line-delivering-charming-action-star.

in other other news, my boyfriend is delighted that even in my nightmares i think he's funny.
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