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Wicked Little Town... [22 Jun 2010|10:59pm]
[ mood | restless ]

Been a while since I've had an entry, but oh well.
I am so sick of my town and my summer. I feel trapped here, I want excitement, passion, freedom. I don't want to sound like a brat; I'm very grateful for the things that my parents provide me and the fact that I have a house, a car and a pretty comfortable life. However, I am sick of having to share a car and being limited in my movement. I'm sick of people reminding me constantly that I don't belong in MA because I go to school in NY and that I don't belong in NY because I live in MA. I'm sick of each day slipping away with no meaning, the clock ticking in my ear reminding me how time is flying away from me.

My parents are not being helpful either. May and June have not been the greatest months (which may be an understatement) and I understand what they are going through, yet I just want some fucking space. They still treat me at times like a child. My mum the other day, after I cleaned and tried to cheer her up, asked me "what are you going to do tomorrow to benefit society"? The fuck? What the fuck am I going to do to benefit society? I'm going to break out of this miserable town and never look back. I'm going to let Hingham choke on my dust and laugh. Instead I ended up giving her the finger with my eyes, since I am too fucking bored and burned out to stir up some trouble.

It is such a relief to have freedom on the weekends when they go to the Cape, yet it is also kinda a reminder of how empty my life is because my friends here are away/busy and I have no lover to keep me warm at night. For the most part I can keep my sanity through frequent trips to the gym, and piano is helpful on occasions, but I am itching for something more. A job would be nice, especially if it was an acting one. I need cash and an excuse to break away from here.
There is so much fire in my veins that each and every day I waste away, a little part of me gets burned. Yet I feel so crushed, by my own weight and the weight of everything around me that it is so hard to break free. I know that I have things to look forward to this summer: a She & Him concert, a possible trip to NY and the eventual return to school (never thought I would say that lol), which definitely gives me a glimmer of hope. But it is hard to see that glimmer when there is a cloud of frustration blocking out the sun.

I just need something to get me through this summer. I'm no damsel, but I'm damn tired of people shoving me in this tower.

1 lover // one night in the name of love

Quizzes [02 Feb 2010|11:00pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so I've decided to stay away from Lj when I am pms-y/over emotional lol.
Instead because I am bored, I am posting quizzes that I have taken.

BoredomCollapse )

one night in the name of love

Pathway to Hollywood Domination part 1 of 1 million [13 Aug 2009|09:21pm]
[ mood | accomplished, giddy yet tired ]

So, in case some people haven't heard, I did some extra work on the new Adam Sandler movie "Grownups" (which also stars Selma Hayak *drools...*, David Spade, Chris Rock and Kevin James). So here is a lil synopsis of what excitement has happened thus far in my week.

I'm too tired to leave a witty comment here so just click awayCollapse )

one night in the name of love

Interracial Dating [24 Jul 2009|11:13pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Random, I know. But something on my mind since it was a topic that came up a lot at my friend's birthday party. And since it was her birthday I didn't really rip into the topic. I know her viewpoint and it is mainly based upon the fact that she is so smitten with her boyfriend of 2 years, her first ever love. But still that doesn't really get her off the hook. Personally I think it is stupid to judge someone's attractiveness based upon their skin/race/ethnicity, as in "oh I would never date a black guy" or "Your boyfriend's Asian? Are the stereotypes true?".

Should it really matter? And for the record the stereotypes about Asian guys aren't true. But that's not the point. The point is that things like ethnicity should not be a question in determining whether or not you should "go out with someone". Here are some reasons, listed in a logical manner, on why I think that this way of thinking is moronic, naive and ultimately passe:

1. All races of people are beautiful. Why? Two reasons, diversity and mathematics. Diversity is beautiful because people are not only attracted to things that are different (like rare color combination and exotic/interesting features) but within every race there is a percent of people within a ethnic group that is attractive. Case in point: not all white men/women are attractive. Steve Buschemi. Russel Crowe. Rush Limbaugh. Rosie O'Donnell. Heidi Montaug. Hugh Jackman's wife. There are six names within the white population that I just thought of that are not attractive. And this is the same case for every race. So to say that all Asian guys are ugly (my friend's word not mine) is a travesty.

2. What about personality people? Shouldn't that matter? I happened to date a Hispanic boy for 2 weeks (and I use date in the loosest terms) and just because he happened to not be right for me does not mean that suddenly I will never date someone who's Hispanic ever again. Also, people don't race shop when they look for someone to be friends with, why would you race shop for a girlfriend or boyfriend? What about common interest? Here's a scenario to get all philosophical on your ass. Say you are a white person, like my friend. And you are given the choice between a very attractive white (girl/boy) who's an asshole or an attractive minority who wasn't an asshole. Who would you choose? If you were rational, or else knew what my opinion was, you would probably pick the latter rather than the former. However, this still highlights how illogical the argument to only date "within your race" is because if you picked by personality and chose the minority, then it shows that you obviously care about the inner qualities of someone. And if that is true then the previous statement of "only dating my race" is falsified because race has nothing to do with personality (unlike what Disney wants you to think).

3. Stereotypes. Stereotypes aren't 100% accurate. Usually they are aspects of a population blown out of proportion. Not all black people listen to hip hop so that is a bad reason to not date someone who's black. Stop listening to stereotypes that are perpetuated by people like Carlos Mencia, Rush Limbaugh etc. Maybe try to get to know people instead. To quote Henry Higgins
"You see, the great secret, Eliza, is not a question of good manners or bad manners, or any particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls. The question is not whether I treat you rudely, but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better."

So to conclude this random entry: Instead of basing decisions on race, why not be like Henry Higgins and just treat people the same?

one night in the name of love

Vampires don't Sparkle. Only Ziggy Stardust does. [24 Jul 2009|10:52pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Sorry bout the last entry, Lj makes a good therapist haha. Plus everyone has angsty days (unless they're WALL-E, cause he's adorable and a robot).

Anyway, just had to throw this out there. To start, I love Vampires.(loved? Still love but want them to sleep on the couch because I am very angry at them?) Not in the stupid "OmG i luv Vampyres, i blak my eyez and slit my wrists cos im so gOthIc!!1", but I think that the mythology is fascinating. And plus Buffy and Angel. Buffy and Angel! And the Count. So maybe it really does boil down to Buffy and the Count. Maybe a little Blade thrown in there. I saw a few episodes of True Blood which were good (not Joss Whedon good, but that is hard to come by these days). So after this clarification I must state.

I am so tired of this vampire trend thing. I mean, couldn't people get into Vampires when Buffy was on tv? It's all because of mutha fuckin' twilight. It's a ridiculous book swiping everything from good vampire lore that preceded it. Buffy did the whole "human and vampire" romance before twilight and did it better by adding an original twist of the vampire having a soul and using the Buffy/Angel relationship as a metaphor for how men can become monsters after having sex/how people sometimes aren't who they seem*. Plus David Boreanaz is better at brooding than RPATz and has more personality, even though Spike aptly said that he was as "dull as a table lamp".

Twelve year olds today have no taste. When I was a tween, or even a young teen, when I saw Buffy I knew that shit was good. I mean, come on Spike? So much sexier than Edward Cullen will ever be. Buffy? Definitely a better role model than Bella, who is bland and unoriginal (even her name, 'Bella Swan' ew. Cliche and totally ripping off Buffy's initials.)

I hate it when something that I like, and have liked for years, suddenly becomes "cool" in the eyes of the mainstream. Because when that happens, whatever I like gets butchered by the mainstream. Vampires don't sparkle. They turn to dust and go pouf. They aren't friendly. They drink people's blood. Just stop the vampire thing already.

This is why I have made a conscious decision to switch over to zombie love. There is no way to make a zombie truly sexy. They don't sparkle and they skip all the bullshit/foreplay and go straight for the brains. Now that's badass. Of course I will continue to love Buffy/Angel, but what needs to happen is for the mainstream idiots to stop bastardizing my interests and jumping on the band wagon late. Also Buffy needs to stake Edward. The end.

*Yes it isn't always the case in real life, but Joss Whedon is a genius damn it so I will not question his stance, plus that is another topic for another entry.

one night in the name of love

Buddha prolly hates me due to materialism... [13 Jun 2009|11:12pm]
[ mood | girly ]

Hey! I decided that I needed to be materialistic and list all of the clothes/shit that I want to buy. Yes, yes we are in a recession and I am wicked poor (I think the fumes from my pedicure has done stuff to my brain haha jk) but why not dream a little. So here are some things that I want to buy (eventually):

1. Dresses from www.modcloth.com. Check it out. There are a lot of wicked cute dresses/accessories.

2. Dresses in general! I love dresses and I totally don't own enough! I want tons of dresses! XD
All different shapes (Pencil, A-line, babydoll, sheath, floral tea dresses etc) and colors (except yellow, orange, puke green and probably brown. And no chunky sweater dresses/fabrics, or stripes)

3. A black bowler hat.

4. Black sex boots. Motor cycle boots. River Slouchy boots (grey or light brown suede). Converse. Shoes <3

5. Leather pants, a pair (or 2) of boot cut jeans, and maybe a pair of red/black plaid pants

6. A tuxedo jacket. Not a real one meant for guys (unless it was made for girly men haha), one that's fitted and awesome.

7. A white tulle skirt. Preferably miniature in length

8. Skirts in general--> mini/pencil/a-line/full, plaid, solid, and tiny florals (not stupid flower/print skirts)

9. A real corset. Preferably white and satin, but after getting a white one, definitely some color ones (crimson, black, turquoise, emerald green, pink, purple, gold, silver, black pvc etc ^^)

10. Lingerie sets ;)

(*jewelry is general craving because I like shiny objects haha)

Oh materialism/fashion...you are a cruel and shiny mistress...

one night in the name of love

Since you’ve gone away I never know just what to say... [28 May 2009|06:21pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Another apt title for this entry would be: "For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me."

Why the fuck can't I talk on the phone? Or on facebook? Or on any online form?
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Normal people can have a phone conversation that doesn't end in awkwardness. Normal people can talk on the phone with people they care about for more that 4 minutes 48 seconds. It's official folks. I am so very challenged and it sucks.

Honestly, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I miss so many people and want to talk to them and see them and yet when I get on the phone (or try to talk to someone on facebook) awkwardness ensues. This entry was spurred on by me trying to talk to Blake on the phone, which of course ended in epic fail. And I really missed him and its not like I didn't want to talk to him-I really did. I miss him a lot and I don't know how to express that through a phone line receiver or through a keyboard. I suck.

I just don't get it. I can talk in person just fine. I'm not that challenged, and yet when I try to talk to people I care about (even people I've known for a long time)a storm of awkwardness occurs. It sucks because I am in a long distance relationship, and I have long distance friends, and I will be far away in the future so does that mean I will lose everyone I love? Does that mean that all my friendships will be temporary, because I am a moron who can't stay in touch?

And facebook? Social networking site? More like social retardation site, at least for me. Cause I can't write stuff on people's walls, or even post comments on people's statuses or pictures. Cause when I do it either dissolves into awkwardness or else I just kill the moment.

I've lost so many friends in the past because I can't fucking talk to them over the phone. Or else if by some chance I can hold an actual conversation, I never call them. I've grown apart from one of my closest friends from Middle school and it kills me that I never stayed in contact with her. i've also lost a friend from art class who I thought was cool and fun. She won't talk to me now because of how bad at keeping in contact with people I am. I'm such a fucking moron, its a miracle that some of my friends at home still want to talk to me. I just don't understand why anyone would. I'm terrible at communicating how I feel, especially over the phone. And the ironic thing? I want to be an actress, an occupation that requires you to emote, and while I can act, I can't fucking emote in real life. I can't emote on the phone, or on the internet, or even on the fucking piano. I'm just some fucking awkward robot, but not in the wall-e adorable way.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't like being alone all of the time. I can just cope with it, because reality is, in the end I am alone.

*Since I am so challenged communication wise, I definitely suggest listening to Cars and Telephones by Arcade Fire. It expresses how I feel in a more eloquent manner.

4 lovers // one night in the name of love

I am a visitor here... I am not permanent [14 May 2009|11:13pm]
[ mood | displaced ]

It's weird being home again. I mean, it's not that I don't want to see my friends or family. I do. But it's weird getting used to being in one place, and suddenly when everything gets good, the rug is pulled out from under you. I was actually tasting a small amount of freedom. No curfews, no nagging (other than school work)...but now its mostly gone.

At the moment, I don't really feel like I belong here. And though its only been two days, I feel like as each day goes by I won't really belong in New York either. There are so many things that I've missed and so many people's lives who seem to be zooming by mine. There's a part of me that wants things to be simple again, but part of me also knows that things never can be. No matter where I go, no matter how far away, my problems will always follow me.

I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I just was immediately happy being in my old bed, but I'm not. I'm not happy about being in my new skin either, but I would probably be miserable being the person I was a year ago, or two years ago.

Welcome to summer...

1 lover // one night in the name of love

School almost over [07 May 2009|05:03pm]
[ mood | happy ]

It's weird to think that school is almost over. My freshman year of college...damn. Instead of dwelling on all of the things that I wish that I did, or the people I wish I talked to or the times that I missed hanging out with people, I am just gonna appreciate the time here and now that I have.

Overall, my year has been very up and down, but I think that the good outweighs the bad. And while I may be unhappy at times, at this moment, I have a sense of clarity, a sense of what I want to do.

This year I have changed a lot, but more importantly I have made amazing friends who I treasure. I have an amazing boyfriend, who I really like, who not only is attracted to me (and who I am attracted to), but who also respects and values me and my strengths and flaws (and my fucked up mind).

So I apologize for the sap of the previous paragraph, but while I am sad that school is ending, I know that I have next semester (and the summer) to look forward to.


2 lovers // one night in the name of love

[23 Apr 2009|12:00am]
[ mood | listless ]

A list was recently posted on "ONTD" about the top 10 most visually stunning movies of the past 10 years. So I was inspired to post my humble opinion on the subject (including pictures and reasons, under the cut)
(here's the link to the list~ http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2009/04/16/the-10-most-visually-stunning-movies-of-the-last-10-years/)

I've been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movieCollapse )

one night in the name of love

Dream Team [12 Apr 2009|06:40pm]
[ mood | sleepy-ish ]

One of my awesome friends (Maddie) posed this question to me so I figured that I would give my answer and then spread the question:

If you could pick only 6 people to be part of a superhero team (historical figures, fictional characters etc) who would you pick?

Also, would your team be good or evil?

To start, my team would be morally ambiguous. We wouldn't really kill people (unless deserved) and plus I want a team that will indulge in harmless pranks/minor klepto-ing (cause it's fun haha)

1. Rorschach from Watchman- Cause he's bad ass, a little moral sometimes which could mean he could be a major buzz kill, that he'd be good to have.
2. River from Firefly/serenity- Crazy yet a bad ass, what's not to love?
3. Dr. House from House MD- Cause it's never lupus :D . That and we would totally eat lunch on a coma patient all the time.
4. Sydney Bristow from Alias- Sexy outfits and kick assery. Sign me up! ;)
5. Nikola Tesla- Brilliant scientist from the early 20th century (in case you didn't know). He could build awesome technology and is a genius (though I would probably choose that he looked like David Bowie from "the Prestige", just cause.)
and finally:
6. WALL-E. Mainly because he's so damn cute and the team could use a mascot ^^

That's my kick ass team. Let me know what yours would be (if you want)

4 lovers // one night in the name of love

Catch 22 [10 Apr 2009|08:09am]
[ mood | exhausted and frustrated ]


I'm just randomly updating (I have so much random shit to update with but not a ton of time, which probably makes no sense because I am updating now, but I've had less than 3 hrs sleep so deal.)

Ever feel like your life some how relates to a book? Well mine does at the moment, except its the fucked up love child of "Catch 22" and "Straight Man". At the moment, I am trying to create me schedule for next year. However, I have gotten stuck with the short end of the straw (again) and am totally screwed if I do not get into some classes. That's where the whole "Straight Man" aspect comes in because I have to deal with Administrative bullshit and I am reaching the point where I want to kill a duck a day until the Purchase system stops fucking with me.

Where does the catch 22 come in? At the moment I feel like there is no way I can win. I am just stuck in this loop of Administrative bullshit, with no way to Sweden.

Thanks stupid culture shock play and your ridiculous rehearsals!

Fuck Purchase.

one night in the name of love

Happy Commericalized Day of Pure, Unadelterated, Bullshit! Presented to you by Hallmark. [15 Feb 2009|10:15pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I hate Valentine's Day. So, so much. It is ridiculous. Valentine's day is quite possibly the worst holiday ever invented. Nay, ever conceived. I want to get in the Delorean and punch who ever came up with that holiday in the ear. Cause that would fucking hurt.

Why do I hate Valentine's day so much? Bitterness? Jealousy?
These would probably be valid reasons to hate Valentine's day, according to Hallmark because I am, single. So no roses/chocolates for me cause "I'm a sad, sad, little person who needs someone else to fill the gaping void in my meaningless life". And that void can only be filled by diamonds and cheesy cards.

But I don't hate Valentine's day for the reasons that the mainstream want you to believe. Nope.
I hate it because of the hypocrisy and commercialism.
If I was in a relationship I do not want to "celebrate" my love with cliche gifts that are supposed to mean something. Ya, I would totally want the sex, but that doesn't mean I want to do all that couples bullshit.
If I was in "love" with someone, I would want to celebrate everyday. I would want my lover to surprise me with romantic gestures, as I would do for them. I just think that valentine's day puts too much pressure on couples. It's just a random day in February, get over it. Love isn't about material things, finding your "soul mate" or being perfect. Love is human, and flawed, and random and should be about all of those things.

Plus, the media is so fucked up (I'm probably pulling an Orlando Bloom with this statement haha). All these stupid commericals are designed to get couples to buy their stupid shit (because if you don't get a diamond from Kay fucking Jewelers, you're relationship is doomed) and to make single people feel bad. What do I say to them?
Fuck em'.

That's right. Fuck em'.

I am fine on my own. I do not need someone to complete my existence. It's quality over quantity, and I would much much rather wait and take my time. Plus love isn't something that happens right away. There's attraction, infatuation and sexual tension but it's never love. Love is a journey and the Media needs to realize it. Being in a relationship would be nice, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship because it feels right. And ya sex is fun, but it is meaningless if there is absolutely no connection. I would much rather take the time to find someone truly special, instead of rushing into things with random people I don't care about.

Also, I hate how Valentine's day makes women seem petty and materialistic. It's always the guy buying the girl flowers, it is never about the girl doing a romantic gesture for a guy, or a guy doing a romantic gesture for a guy or a girl doing a romantic gesture for a girl. It perpetuates the stereotype that the man is dominant and the woman is submissive (which is waaay to 1950s/stepford for my taste, plus it is not true at all) and it also subtly hints that heterosexual love is the only love deserving of celebration. Plus it insinuates that the key to a woman's heart is a materialistic item.

*sarcasm ahead*
Intelligence and Honesty? Naah. Give me some shiny shit and I'll go Cra-Zy. Hell you just gave me the syph because you slept with another girl behind my back? All forgiven because you got me some roses and a teddy bear, so now I will love you forever!! because you gave me a pair of earrings!

While I'm not totally belittling the awesomeness of gifts (hell I love em when they are sincere and random, and had tons of thought put into them), I just hate valentines day gifts because they are so contrived. Even if someone likes roses/jewelry, it just feels so fake to buy them on the 14th because a date on the calendar told you to.

This entry is extremely cynical (I know) but I am not hating on love. I am hating on corporations. I am hating on superficiality. I am hating on the cliche.
And if I have someone next year on the 14th?
My feelings will be the same. People say that the single are bitter/jealous because they don't have a "significant other". Well I say that couples who totally give into this bullshit are delusional/misguided.

Happy Valentines Day!

one night in the name of love

Best. Weekend. Ever...aka Comic Con 09 Part 3 [09 Feb 2009|12:46am]
[ mood | giddy/sleep deprived ]

DARYCollapse )

3 lovers // one night in the name of love

Best. Weekend. Ever...aka Comic Con 09 Part 2 [09 Feb 2009|12:39am]
[ mood | giddy/sleep deprived ]

wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the next word is gonna be...Collapse )

2 lovers // one night in the name of love

Best. Weekend. Ever...aka Comic Con 09 Part 1 [08 Feb 2009|06:44pm]
[ mood | giddy/sleep deprived ]

So basically I am running on an extreme euphoria/lack of sleep while writing this entry but it is totally necessary. This weekend I went to comic con with my friends Amanda, Jessa, Jim, Josh, and Peter (and met Jessa's friends Lenni-Carl and Ariana). The short version was that it was Ah-MAZING! So I apologize in the giddy school girlness of this entry/the fact that I have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone (haha) but if you want to read ALL the details, there is a cut (and it is gonna be a long ass entry^^)

It's gonna be Legend...Collapse )

one night in the name of love

Arrg. [27 Apr 2008|08:23pm]
[ mood | stressed/pissed/tired of life ]

I hate my fucking thumb.
I hate school.
23 days is 23 days too many.
Fuck the world. Fuck life. Fuck Chinese. Fuck infections. Fuck manners. Fuck makeup work. Just. Fuck. It. All.

The end.

3 lovers // one night in the name of love

Happy Birthday [21 Dec 2007|03:21pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! w00t w00t I'm 18!!!!

one night in the name of love

Guess who's back. Back again... [23 Sep 2007|08:28pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Hey I figured I'd spice up Gina/Julia's friend page with a rare entry, to show that I haven't died. I would update more but I really don't feel like I have a lot to write about. Plus I don't update that much on facebook, which I am bound to because of college friends moving away, and I am content to read amusing entries on communities. So here's a quiz spree cause I am too lazy to rant about pop culture/write at all...

I love weddings! Drinks all around!Collapse )

one night in the name of love

Random Pop Culture Revelation [23 Jul 2007|10:29pm]
[ mood | Lovestruck ]

Have you ever had a random realization, like for example when people realize that the person that they love has been right in front of them all along?

The same thing has kinda happened to me, with Christan Bale.

At first I thought, well he's a pretty good actor, granted that the only movies I remember seeing him in were in the Prestige and Batman. He was great in both, but in Batman I didn't pay attention to him too much because Cillian Murphy distracted me with his sexiness. Also in the prestige for some reason I thought he had a funny looking neck and couldn't compare with the Scarlett Johanson/Hugh Jackman/Piper Perabo hotness and the David Bowie/Andy Sirkis cool factor ((but I was dead wrong)).

Then I re-watched Velvet Goldmine and watched Howl's Moving Castle last night and fell in love. Omg...
Christan Bale is freaking AWESOME and incredibly smexy in Velvet Goldmine (which is one of the best movies ever, despite the fact that it has Jonathan Rhys Myers *curses for murdering Scarlett Johanson in Match Point/ being an ass*!)Plus he is so *amazing* at acting. In Howl's moving castle, another awesome movie, he has a wicked cool voice and is awesome as Howl.

After I watched these movies I thought about the other movies he has been in that I've seen. In reign of fire (before I realized who he was) I liked him. He was the only cool one because I didn't like the guy Matthew McConaughey played (or Matthew McConaughey for that matter. It's a long deep rooted hatred apparently). He was good as Demetrius in the 1999 Midsummer Nights Dream movie (it was the movie that randomly had Calista Flockhart [???]). And I heard that American Psycho and the Machinist are good so I'm definitely watching them too.

What I've realized is this: Christian Bale looks awesome with long hair. Really really awesome. It was so simple! The reason I thought that his neck looked funny in the Prestige was that he had really short hair. That kinda makes me feel a lil stupy but whatever.

The point of this entry is that I am officially a Christian Bale fan girl and apologize to him for thinking that his neck looked funny in the Prestige and for overlooking him in Batman (again that is a major wtf of how you can ignore the main character and his smex-appeal, but somehow I manage to. Go me!).

Christan Bale=love.

one night in the name of love

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