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Friday, March 7th, 2008

Time:6:14 pm.
Mood: scared.
nobody reads this, i dont care. this is a memory i can keep, fuck everyone else.

so tonight, i am in love. i am in love for the first time, and i finally know what this feels like. all the times ive said this, i thought high school relationships meant something. for the first time, he is all i can hold on to. hes made me the person i am, and all the memories we have, are things ive wanted since i was a little girl. we walked through st augustine, sat on the edge of the water, walked through the park, held hands, drove around, kissed in alleys. kissed on the beach, and i held him so tight. held him closer than anyone ive ever held before. drank at my spot, kissed on the bridge.

and i feel like my heart was left in his arms.

and lately, things have been rough, and i dont want to lose him. if i lose him, ill lose everything i am.
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Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

Time:8:46 am.
so its 2 days until summer.

5 days until i leave.

this summer is going to be filled with laughing
smiling, driving, hardcore

and everything bad thats happened, is over
all the drama, is done.
a fresh new start, and im moving.

it feels really good.

and as for that one boy,
im already getting the butterflies.
he still makes me nervous,
and he still makes me feel like i did the first time we met
and the first time we kissed
and the first time he put his arm around me
and held my hand.
i pray things only get better.
i really do love everthing about him.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

Time:8:57 am.
No one worries quite like you
And when you start,
you must rely on your own heart
cause nothing works the same
or takes the blame or wins the game,
With your head in your hands in the pouring rain
I want to see you as you are.


i lied.
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Time:8:30 am.

yesterday blew.
drew was trippin.

all bitchy and such
starting bitching about daniel&me
sayin shit like "you need to tell him whats up, say youll move on"

i dont even careeee that we dont talk 495860596856 hours a day.
we've known each other for so long that i dont even think it matters.



smokin out this weekend hopefully.

i love life.
im not even worrying.

not anymore.
there aint noooo reason to.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

Time:8:29 am.
when the smoke came out our mouths
on all those hooded sweatshirt walks
you were a stroke of luck

it was grass stained jeans and incompletes
and a girl from class to touch
but you think about yourself too much
and you ruin who you love

well all these claims at consciousness
my stray dog freedom
lets have a nice clean cut
like a bag we buy and divvy up.

i feel tied up.
and cant ever breathe anymore.
i dont live here.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:19 am.
loosing weight.

i feel constantly ill.
ive spilled my heart
and i got a "i dont know what to say"
in a better tone.

im praying for the best. and a goddamn miracle.

There's people here, but you are gone.
And I'm fine, still swimming through time.
Afraid some days I've reached the shore.
Make yourself free, a man said that to me.
Now my heart is like an open door.
And the road finally gave me back
but I don't think I'll unpack
'Cause I'm not sure if I live here anymore.
It's not my weight that makes me faint.
for the sugar in my blood.
But the way these strangers stand so close.
They say my name, like a guessing game.
"Is that really you?"
No, I don't think it ever was.
In the spring,
when the world's turning green,
I only think about the fall,
or the frets on the board
a progression of chords.
Oh how I want this to resolve.
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Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

Time:10:45 am.
Mood: drained.
god i feel so sick
and hungry
and my head hurts.

i have no one to talk to
because everyone doesnt get it.
i know what i want to be.

i dont want anyone worrying.
my worries are mine.
thats it.

this hunger pang is starting to feel good.

i was thinking about the first time went up north
and when i said "this is beautiful and i can breathe"
and it hasnt changed.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:9:18 am.
Mood: amused.
via short kisses and bedsheets.
im counting down:17.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:9:11 am.
Mood: bouncy.
i wont say what did&didnt happen.
but all i can say
is that i anticipate the 22nd
and going home
to georgia.

i dont think ive ever felt more alive.

oh sweet darling
im so glad you found me
your power surrounds me.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

Time:9:05 am.
im coming to think i dont like people
and that everyone has a similarity in being idiotic.

i love drew gabby and daniel.
rest of the people can go get a fucking brain
and finally use it.

we can all be intelligent.

just like her.


Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

Time:9:08 am.
Mood: jubilant/anxious.
so drew&i are friends =D
gabby&i are sistas for life.
no moore fighting.
and from yesterday on,
no more drama.
problems will be dealt with personally and sorted out,
no problems will be created.

im oppostomistic about life in general.
im looking foward to every coming minute
and im not scared
just anxious to see the outcome.

tomorrows GA
i feel like life couldnt get any better
but it could
im seeing daniel this week,
and i get to be in his arms.

hopefully things are alright.
im still unsure.
but ill make them alright.

things can only get better.
and i love life
and daniel.
without them, im not myself (:

its going to be so green.
im so excited.
life is just AMAZING
excuse my repitition.

i remember the first time i met daniel.
i was so fucking nervous and giggly.
and i thought he hated me
and then he payed for my movie ticket,
the first guy to do that ahhahaha
and i was like AWE
and i was trying not to crush, cause i had jason
but i couldnt help it.
i felt all bubbly on the inside and such.
hes always made me happy.

i really want to, but im at school.
ohmygod, this is life.
and i know this is what its supposed to be.
i finally get it !
ilovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove it.

ive grown up so much this past year
and im still growing up.
im learning about life everyday
and keeping my heart&friends close.

im truly happy.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

Time:10:12 am.
gabby &i are friends again.
i dont know,
i guess im her friend.

im letting it go.
it was a bunch of shit from all sides.
so, whatevah.
i havent been myself lately though
and it was influence.

so, im gonna forget daniel&i.
its gonna be just us chillin again.
because i think the thought of reltionship to me
has made me act differently
and i dont like it

honestly i dont give a fuck what he does
or if i talk to him 93858345 times a day
or anything

i just care about chillin with him
getting trashed
and having a good fuckin time

not about cutesy making out and stuff

fuck it
if it happens it happens

idc anymore.
i want us to be friends again, like just friends
and if that evolves into a relationship things wont change.

wtf has been with me lately.

i just know im quitting triple cs
its driven me batty lately.
and hahahah im no longer opposing to weed
i love it.

ive been thinking
im gonna live live for me
fuck everything else.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Time:12:39 pm.
im cold
im never having kids
and i miss daniel.

and im going to start believeing and convincing myself he doesnt like me,
i feel the same as before i went.
i dont know why i think im happy

i dont see why i bother
maybe im just thinking too much again.
this'll fuck up everything if i let it effect anything
jj said i was creating a problem that doesnt exsist.

hes probably right
because well, he knows me better than i know myself.

fuckin 2nd graders.

"gay, bedskillz didnt pick up"

bahahhahaha i love danielle.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Time:8:29 am.
so uhhh
my cellphone was found.
its been outside..
for 2 months.
its being repaired right now.

i hope it works.
&&we're going to GA day early, on the 25th
omffgggg its been a month since i last saw him?
it doesnt even seem like it.

im sooooosososooosososo happy <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

so today gabbys back&haha no lies,
im prepared for the worst.
agh, but i look so cute today (:

i talked to joey about what happened and he feels really bad.
he didnt know i was in somekind of relationship.
but we're still friends.
which is good

&also uhhh
i dont know,
today afterschool i gotta shower..
and dye my hurrr.
its getting so icky.

i miss d-baby.
i hope hes careful this weekend.
i dont want him dying on me.
wtf, why am i so worried...
hes been smoking weed and shit for years,
i should chillout.

but regarless, 8 DAYS !
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, April 16th, 2007

Time:9:30 am.
Mood: contemplative.
i was doing a lot of thinking.
i was a liar.
i used people as my friends for someone to preach to about the things ive done.
i really didnt care, only for three friends did i ever care about.

everyone else was just a fillin for what i lost,
and something to occupy my time
and it sounds terrible but its true.

and every boy ive ever dated,
i wont lie,
was for the wrong reasons.

and every relationship was a lie.
i gave my self a time limit,
for when, if they didnt break it off, i would.
i got bored
and tired
and needed new shit.

because to be honest i was a asshole.
but i pulled my old game yesterday
and i realized,
im not that person anymore.
and it doesnt feel right.

and now, theres someone i really care about, for a change.
and i feel it with everything.
he really does make me feel alive.
more so than ever.
i woke up.
even if he probably doesnt feel the same
i need him in my life.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:16 am.
Mood: anxious.
so, friday night was boring
but i spet 1200 dollars at the mall !
new cellphone today.
saturday night i went to jacksonville,
annnnd hahha seann called me and asked me to threesome with him&jason ROFL
no thankssssssss.

it rained a lot,
all weekend.
and i got squeeky shoes. (:

i got harassed a lot about my uh bad case of ugly rofl.

im not ugly, people are stupid.

sunday i hungout with joey.
i do believe i am the biggest asshole known to man.
i think i may have led him to believing i have feelings towards him.
but i dont, and i know that or fact.
i only want to be wih one person.
we all know who that is.

yayayya 10 more days !
i am giving dano the BIGGEST hug, ever.
and itll be like a 20 minute hug.

because holding him makes me feel alive.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, April 13th, 2007

Time:9:12 am.
Mood: confused.
yay. i have two weeks to get skinny
idk i might go next week

i dont know,
i was thinking about the whole situation
and what if he doesnt move?
then we're ruined

i feel like it isnt going to work
despite how much i care.

he cares too
its just so complicated
ill make it work
or ill wait.

im just going to enjoy the time i spend with him,
not think about when its going to end.
this is the most complicated situation ive ever been in
and its hurts more than anything ive ever been through.
because i cant change the situation.
i can only wait to see what happens..
im hoping for the best.


so yesterday was kinda eh
gabby tried fightng me
and im not going to pathways

im doing good, on this diet.
and i took the best shower EVERRRRRRRR yesterday.

uhhhmmmm mall today !

&dying my hair.
movie marathon tonight. (:
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 12th, 2007

Time:9:25 am.
looking back on older entries, from years ago.

i was a fucking idiot.

7 days after i date someone "i love them"?

wtf hahahahhaa
im so glad i grew up.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

Time:8:46 am.

someone piece my goddamn septum
and snakebite.

because im a puss and dont put needles in my face.

i only have a spiderbite because i have friends who dont mind hurting me.

actually, septum id rather do perfess.

i need a fuckin monroe, goddamnit.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:29 am.
Mood: jubilant.
whyd you have to be so cute
its impossible to ignore you
must you make me laugh so much
its bad enough we get along so well.

i think im home.
and myself.
and it feels really good to be me again.

wanting to smile
really nice, and totally careless as to what people say.

and i think i got my boy back.

welcome back december.
+february 14

oh good god, i love this feeling.
no, im not high.

Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for Alicia.

View:User Info.
View:Website (my$p@c3, @dd m3 ! z0mGzzz).
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.