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December 15th, 2010 (06:40 pm)

thoughts of you sustain me in the cold.
those dark nights, the "mean reds", when nothing seems right
i imagine you asleep here, breath even, skin warm.
i would press against you, lay my cheek between your shoulderblades,
and let your heart speak its secret message to me:
that nothing is lost, that life goes on, unfrozen;
that winter, vast, dark, endless winter,
can only scrape its claws against the walls of love
and draw back, shaking its ponderous head in confusion
at the bright, quick, incomprehensible flame.

愛してる。 あんたは僕の春と僕の火。

if the roads were paved with ice that never thawed or cracked,
i could skate from Maine to Nebraska, up to Alaska and back...
'cause you keep me warm...


December 14th, 2010 (12:19 am)

12-13-2010Collapse )


December 7th, 2010 (11:07 pm)

HakuCollapse )


December 5th, 2010 (10:57 pm)

true story.Collapse )


December 5th, 2010 (11:39 am)

the snail is never on time for anythingCollapse )

drawaday: 12-3-2010

December 4th, 2010 (11:11 am)

12-3-2010Collapse )

...wtf, drawaday is moderated now?

01: 青い空 (Aoi Sora)

Naoko lay on her back in the grass, listening to the traffic on the highway below. From this distance it was a rushing white noise that ebbed and flowed, reminding her of the ocean. Standing, the October wind had chilled her, but here at ground level the air was still and the sunlight warmed her skin. She watched the wind flail at the trees, occasionally tugging a golden leaf free and sending it spinning to the ground in restless spirals.

Dragonflies zipped erratically above her head, pursuing their own inscrutable insect trajectories. Farther above, and similar in shape and opacity of motive, a dark-colored helicopter cut across her field of vision. Clouds scudded rapidly across the sky. In the first sunlight after a number of overcast days, the clouds were painfully white, the sky painfully blue. Naoko closed her eyes.

In the orange brightness beneath her eyelids, she invented a superstitious game: the shape of the first cloud she saw would foretell her future. She tried to clear her mind, but wondered what she might see -- a cloud in the shape of an animal, or someone’s face, or the state of Pennsylvania?

The shape that hung directly above her head was none of these things. It was large and round, and loomed, its edges feathering and roiling in constant turmoil. She squinted at it, her eyes watering from the brightness. After a moment she realized, with disappointment, that it didn’t look like anything at all. No matter how much she tried to imagine otherwise, it stubbornly remained an ordinary, boring, cloud-shaped cloud.

Suddenly, Naoko noticed that the feathered edges were beginning to break up, spinning out into the blue and vanishing. The white bulk, so uniform a moment ago, became clumpy and uneven, allowing the sky to show through in ever-growing patches. Within a few seconds, the cloud had been teased apart into a hundred wispy fragments, and as she watched, those fragments curled away and dissolved until the sky was a solid, unbroken blue.

Naoko stared into the blue, her vision blurring. Far above, a seagull glided into view, its white wings spread wide to catch the wind. She sat up to watch it fly toward the river, following it with her eyes until it was nothing more than a dark speck, slowly vanishing above the trees.

sobbing and useless > dead

February 12th, 2010 (02:46 pm)

just ran into a very moving piece about suicide.

"So I want to say this, and forgive me the strangeness of it. Don’t kill yourself. Life has always been almost too hard to bear, for a lot of the people, a lot of the time. It’s awful. But it isn’t too hard to bear, it’s only almost too hard to bear. Hear me out."


"Know that the rest of us know that among the faces we have met there are some right now who can barely take another minute of the pain and uncertainty. And we are in the room with you, going from one moment to the next, in whatever condition you manage to do it. Sobbing and useless is great! Sobbing and useless is a million times better than dead. A billion times. Thank you for choosing sobbing and useless over dead."

books read in 2009

January 1st, 2010 (04:40 pm)

(reverse chronological order; only recording books read for the first time, no rereads)

49. Unseen Academicals - Terry Pratchett
48. Territory - Emma Bull
47. The End of Poverty - Jeffrey Sachs
46. A Sound of Thunder and Other Stories - Ray Bradbury
45. The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie
44. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
43. Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair - Laurie Perry
42. Greener Than You Think - Ward Moore
41. Love Walked In - Marisa de los Santos
40. House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski
39. Harpist in the Wind - Patricia A. McKillip
38. Heir of Sea and Fire - Patricia A. McKillip
37. Getting Things Done - David Allen
36. Dubliners - James Joyce
35. The Riddle-Master of Hed - Patricia A. McKillip
34. The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
33. Storming the Reality Studio - Larry McCaffery
32. Bridge to Terabithia - Katherine Paterson
31. Julie of the Wolves - Jean Craighead George
30. Where The Money Is: True Tales From the Bank Robbery Capital of the World - William J. Rehder
29. The Elephant Vanishes - Haruki Murakami
28. Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami
27. The Demolished Man - Alfred Bester
26. Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami
25. Tesla: Man Out of Time - Margaret Cheney
24. The Terminal Beach - J.G. Ballard
23. The Computer Connection - Alfred Bester
22. The Stars My Destination - Alfred Bester
21. Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit - Daniel Quinn
20. Chronopolis - J.G. Ballard
19. Complete Stories and Poems - Edgar Allan Poe
18. Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies - Margaret Mead
17. Year of Wonders - Geraldine Brooks
16. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
15. Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen
14. Collected Fictions - Jorge Luis Borges
13. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
12. Male and Female - Margaret Mead
11. Filth - Irvine Welsh
10. The Ladies of Grace Adieu - Susanna Clarke
09. The Hound of the Baskervilles - Arthur Conan Doyle
08. Making Money - Terry Pratchett
07. The Bonesetter's Daughter - Amy Tan
06. I Will Fear No Evil - Robert A. Heinlein
05. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - Robert A. Heinlein
04. The Cat Who Walks Through Walls - Robert A. Heinlein
03. Time Enough For Love - Robert A. Heinlein
02. The Third Fontana Book of Great Ghost Stories - Robert Aickman
01. Great Ghost Stories - Ambrose Bierce

ratings and reviews on Goodreads.

Final Fantasy III

June 5th, 2009 (01:06 pm)

[Note: This review is part of my series on the Final Fantasy games. To read them all, click here.]

Final Fantasy IIICollapse )

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