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I GO TO ART SCHOOL THEREFORE I HATE GEORGE BUSH. [Friday
September 7th, 2007
12:29am
]
I AM GOING TO BLEACH HALF OF MY HAIR AND DYE THE OTHER HALF BLACK AND GET A MONROE AND A LOTUS SLEEVE AND WEAR UGLY OLD DRESSES THAT FIT FUNNY AND GLASSES THAT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A BUG AND MAYBE EVEN SOME SLIP ON SHOES WITH POLKA DOTS SO THAT I CAN BE AN INDIVIDUAL, TOO.



No, but seriously. I'm good.
READ (4) CMNT

[Wednesday
August 1st, 2007
2:07am
]


Boofaloo.Collapse )
READ (9) CMNT

[Monday
June 18th, 2007
4:53pm
]
Someone tell my heart to get out of my fucking throat and back to where it belongs.
READ (1) CMNT

Oh, hey. [Monday
June 4th, 2007
3:34pm
]
This can't be right.
READ (0) CMNT

[Monday
April 23rd, 2007
5:19pm
]
“And it’s like, girls, you know? They’re this whole seperate, I don’t know, creature. They think life will be all right with a new summer- a little tan, new shades and a cute bikini. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, or even wrong. Us guys act hardcore all winter, with our big boots and thick skin. But, secretly we’re all waiting for the same thing- a little fucking sun to lighten us up.”
READ (1) CMNT

[Wednesday
April 18th, 2007
1:21pm
]
Approximately 11:30 am, location: Emerald Square in North Attleboro. Figured I'd look around a few places to find cute pants for work. I make my way around the hoards of old people and parents with their whining kids. I forget why I thought this was a good idea.


"EXCUSE US! EXCUUUSE US! RIGHT IN BETWEEN US! EXCUUSE-" An old hunched over couple, traveling at about a half a mile per hour, is squawking at me after I make my way between them after turning left from Subway with my newly bought water.

"Jesus. What're you guys on, lap 5? Lighten up."


I'm going to hell and it's only Wednesday.
READ (1) CMNT

Spent a good portion of the day looking up and comparing prices for a round trip to Chicago. [Thursday
February 22nd, 2007
7:19pm
]
I bought a coffee and drove to Borders instead of going to class. I don't even dislike that class, I just went with the impulse and don't particularly regret it. I was in one of those moods where I was in my own space, not paying attention to anything around me, totally content in sitting sideways in a leather chair. Read parts of a couple books, not particuarly wanting to buy either. Drove home combining the stories and making up my own ending.

I'm sitting here writing this, knowing that as soon as I hit "update" I will be heading to your house to be with you. Almost nine months and I still get all excited to sit around doing nothing with you. That is so, so good.
READ (3) CMNT

[Tuesday
February 13th, 2007
3:09pm
]
I'm fucking tired of MySpace and Facebook sometimes, you know? We're all so impersonal.


I miss emails with personality and depth. I miss real letters and phone calls and long voicemails. I miss hearing stupid stories about people's day.


That's all.
READ (2) CMNT

You were right. I just don't have the energy for this. [Sunday
December 3rd, 2006
11:19pm
]
And I know- State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road.
If I don't know where I come from, how do I know where to go?
It's not where you're from, not where you're at. It's where you're going.










And I am going home.
READ (3) CMNT

Chicago makes me want to smoke. [Monday
November 27th, 2006
10:31pm
]
Plane landed at about eight am. Weather is really, really nice. Going through the day on zero sleep means I'm pretty much the living dead. But, hey, I'm pretty much okay with that.
It's weird to be back for about, oh, five minutes and then it's like I never left. Nothing world changing.

So, like, when I lay down you think I'd be down for the night, right?
Not so much. But I did have a quality nap from around seven to nine or so. The kind where you wake up all warm fuzzy and content. I tried to go back to sleep and couldn't. So I microwaved some leftover chicken noodle soup in the fridge. Went to put the empty bowl on my cluttered shelf above my bed and a can of Arizona Mighty Mango spills all over my arm and bed.


So I sigh, pick it up, throw my pillow on the floor, turn the other one over and grab all the cans in my room that I should have gotten rid of a while ago. Only a couple of the roomates are back, so the apartment is still relatively quiet. I check my phone for any texts or voicemails from Colby. Negative. He probably went to bed. Maybe I'll sleep after I get an icecream sandwich from seven eleven with the money my dad gave me this morning to spend wisely. A cold diet coke might be nice. Maybe some m&ms.The possibilities are endless.


Welcome back, Eileen.
READ (9) CMNT

[Monday
October 30th, 2006
10:46pm
]
It was about sixty today, windy as fuck, but still beautiful. The window in our living room is open, it still smells like smoke. I was sitting there talking and laughing with the roommates coming in or going out or whatever and, you know, I was thinking- This city makes me pretty happy.


But, god, I can't wait to see you at that airport in Providence in three weeks and drive back down 95 holding hands with you.
READ (6) CMNT

[Monday
October 23rd, 2006
1:44am
]
Alaina passed out reading a book, I'm the last one up in our apartment. I'm antsy and sick of staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page that should be my English essay, so I grab my pack of cigarettes, lighter in my pocket, I throw on a coat and a scarf and some shoes.

I can feel the chill a couple yards before I even go out the door, step outside- it's a biting sort of cold but I don't mind for once. No one is around, I light up and walk over towards State. Chicago is the emptiest I've seen it. It's as quiet as a city gets- a sort of low machinary buzz that echoes down asphalt streets. Red brick buildings look brownish black. I can't tell if I'm exhaling smoke or if it's my breath hitting the cold air. I like that. I think about how you said your boyfriend wouldn't let you walk two blocks by yourself in the daylight. You said you wouldn't anyway.

I walk past the empty parking lot by the mission and a man who looks homeless gives me a smile, I nod back. Neon signs glow, the tracks that run over Balbo are quiet.
I see him on the way back and he gives me the peace sign.

I smile.
READ (0) CMNT

[Tuesday
October 17th, 2006
1:24pm
]
Sometimes it saves me. And sometimes I am so cynical and skeptical and so bitingly sarcastic it seriously starts to tear me a-fucking-part.



Makes for really, really good puns, though.
READ (1) CMNT

[Thursday
October 5th, 2006
2:20pm
]
"Come on, baby, make it hurt so good."





-Sometimes love don't feel like it should.
READ (3) CMNT

[Thursday
September 28th, 2006
8:46pm
]
I’ve done so many worse things, but I still think about that fucking flower pot.
READ (5) CMNT

[Sunday
September 24th, 2006
11:09pm
]
Today I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth and a stuffy nose and pounding headache, you know- the kind that makes your temples feel like bruises, and it was almost two o'clock and I contemplated sleeping so I wouldn't have to move for the whole day. I wondered where you were and what you were doing and who you were with and if you were happy and what you were wearing and if you were thinking about a girl that's in Chicago wearing that silver bracelet that you used to wear.





I miss you so much lately.
READ (6) CMNT

[Friday
August 25th, 2006
10:45am
]
In our apartment, down the hall, out the emergency exit, up about ten flights on the hidden stairway surrounded brick walls with peeling paint, there is a big metal door that appears to be locked.



It's not. And outside is this:









READ (1) CMNT

[Saturday
July 29th, 2006
6:03pm
]
Oh, hey. What's this? Internet??@






I feel disconnected and in my own head sometimes, you know? This summer is so totally and completely not what I expected. And I don't mean that in a bad way. At all. It just catches up to me and throws me off every so often.


My parents don't trust me. I have no argument against this because, based on past experience, they have every reason not to trust me. I mean, what's to say, right? I don't think "That was so six monthes ago; I'm over that." is too convincing. (Even though I'll be approximately a thousand miles away in a little less than a month. Ahah, oh parents. LOL@trust!1) In reality though? I probably would have behaved well most of the time if they left me at home, anyway. I'm much too lazy. But hey, guess I will be spending the next week hitchhiking. Or staying with various relatives with no kids. And cats. Evil, evil cats.
READ (5) CMNT

[Saturday
June 17th, 2006
4:48pm
]
&MOSH;?Collapse )
READ (12) CMNT

[Monday
June 12th, 2006
10:32am
]
Sometimes I think being truly smart really just means that you know how stupid you actually are.


Unrelated- I've spent eighteen years in the same suburban town. Not saying there's anything wrong with that. Things are pretty much the same everywhere, I bet.

But in eighteen days, when I'm unemployed and I should be saving my newly gained eighthundred-something severance dollars for wiser things, I want to go somewhere.
READ (1) CMNT

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