10/16/05 05:04 pm
I attended a funeral today. Morelike a memorial service, actually. I woke up at 10, had french toast with Datura, who slept over, and got ready to walk down to the beach, where the service was going to be. And, again, sorry for falling asleep so early Datura, I really didn't feel well. Anyways, after showering and such, my mom, Billy [a close family friend] and I, walked through alley ways and on streets that Dennis, who's funeral we were going to, once lived and the streets that he'd grown up on. We had to rush there, me with the glass in my toe that has been stuck there for a week, and made it there promptly at 11, at the beach straight down from Paloma Drive.
My dad was standing there when we arrived, surrounded by friends of Dennis, of people that I hadn't seen since early childhood, but recognized and even remembered their names and memories of them. They all gasped at how much I'd grown, and made those hand gestures where they put their hands way down low, to signify how small I used to be, and then shot their hands up towards the sky, signifying how much I've grown. It was cute.
In the middle of everything, was a table with Dennis' ashes, his wallet that he carried around, and pictures of him, surrounded with flowers. We all sat and had a moment of silence, an extremely long moment, in which my mom and dad sat on either side of me, both of them crying. I tried not to cry, tried not to look at the flower pots that the flowers were in that Dennis made himself, trying not to believe that he really died. Then his brother got up and said a few words and my dad did also. They told stories of Dennis and their childhoods together and it was sweet. They both cried while doing so.
After a few others asked to stand up and say a few words, and did, my dad and Dennis' brother, along with a few other guys, took his ashes into the ocean, far, far out, and said a few words before scattering them about in the water. Then, the all paddled in and we went to a brunch thing, and my dad gave his friend a ride and not us so we had to walk all of the way there.. the food was pretty decent though..
After eating and hearing my dad and his friends talk about the crazy old days, my dad gave us a ride home and I immediately left to my aunts house. I needed to be around some real family because I was craving the comfort and closeness of family. Maybe because my parents were with me all day and that's so rare. Maybe..
My aunt and I talked about a lot of stuff.. one of the things religion.. and I asked her to clarify a few things for me, and just like everybody else, she couldn't really do so. After giving me some tupperware to give to my mom and an article about abstinance from my cousin amie [ha ha], she sent me on home, where I sat around and watched home videos of my grandparents.
Even though they died a while back, I've never missed anyone more. I honestly think about my grandparents everyday and when I make decisions and such, I think of what they would say about them. I honestly care about them so much and I just wish they were here so badly. But, seeing the videos where they're sitting on my uncles old couch singing "I'll Be Seeing You", "You're the Cream in my Coffee", "Button up your Overcoat", "The Best things in life are free", "Girl of my Dreams","Unforgetable",ect ect.. it just makes me feel so sentimental. Their old New Orleans charm, their sweet demeanor, everything they did.. and their love was so true.. it lasted for like 70 years, until they died, the way it should be. And I'll never forget them.
And... I'm so proud to have my grandma's name. Ludie. Everytime people call me by it, it brings so much feeling into me, it makes me feel like a part of her.. it has so much depth to it.
Well, that's my day. It has really made me think and made me feel like I was missing something.