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i cant breath it hurts so much...is it always gonna b this bad?

Sep. 19th, 2006 | 10:39 pm
mood: heart sick heart sick

with mascara
running down her cheeks
and pain
screaming beneath her skin
parted lips
chewing his poisoned words
shaking hands
cover her lost smile
shoulders shake
with words never said
shattered heart
falling away with speed
nothing left
but hurt and lies

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painters

Aug. 15th, 2006 | 02:11 am

love this song....alot....

"Eighty years, an old lady now, sitting on the front porch
Watching the clouds roll by
They remind her of her lover, how he left her, and of times long
ago.
When she used to color carelessly painted his portrait
A thousand times-or maybe just his smile-
And she and her canvas would follow him wherever he would
go
'Cause they were painters and they were painting themselves
A lovely world.
Oil streaked daisies covered the living room wall
He put water-colored roses in her hair
He said, "Love, I love you, I want to give you mountains, the
sunshine,
the sunset too
I want to give you everything as beautiful as you are to me
'Cause they were painters and they were painting themselves
A lovely world.
So they sat down and made a drawing of their love, an art to
live by
They painted every, passion every home, created every beautiful
child
in the winter they were weavers of warmth,
in summer they were carpenters of love
They thought blue prints were too sad so they made them
yellow
'Cause they were painters and they were painting themselves
A lovely world.
Until one day the rain fell as thick as black oil
And in her heart she knew something was wrong
She went running
through the orchard screaming,
'No God, don't take him from me!,'
But buy the time she got there, she feared he already had
gone
She got to where he lay, water-colored roses in his hands for
her
She threw them down screaming, 'Damn you man, don't leave
me
with nothing left behind but these cold paintings, these cold
portraits
to remind me!
He said, 'Love I leave, but only a little, try to
understand
I put my soul in this life we created with these four hands
Love, I leave, but only a little this world holds me still
My body may die now, but these paintings are real.'
So many seasons came and many seasons went
and many times she saw her loves face watering the flowers,
talking tot he trees and singing to his children
And when the wind blew, she knew he was listening,
and how he seamed to laugh along, and how he seemed to hold
her
when she was crying
'Cause they were painters and they were painting themselves
A lovely world.
Eighty years, an old lady now, sitting on the front porch
Watching the clouds roll by, they remind her of her lover
how he left her and of times long ago, when she used to color
carelessly,
Painted his portrait a thousand times, or maybe just his
smile,
and she and her canvas would follow him wherever he would
go
Yes, she and her canvas still follow
Because they are painters and they are painting themselves
A lovely world"

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sometimes

Jul. 26th, 2006 | 08:07 pm

sometimes its nice just to pretend that everything is ok. sometimes its nice to just be a kid again and swing till you cant hold on any more and to laught at simple stuff, and eat bananna splits not caring if it dripps down your chin. Sometimes its nice to close your eyes and be some place else. sometimes its nice to just get away. sometimes for me was today <3. it was an amazing day. i dont want to go back. today i smiled and meant it today i laughed out loud and it was real today i ate a goddamn bananna split (and it was good). today i escaped from reality. today i was happy....the happiest i have been in a while.....i dont want it to go away

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(no subject)

Jun. 14th, 2006 | 04:07 pm
mood: crushed crushed
music: hearts on my sleeve

She will never be invincible
She will never be some Florence Nightingale
Her thresholds invisible but she’ll hang on like hell
Yeah, she may be transparent
She’s got no defenses to speak of
But she’ll stand here before you with no pride or prejudice
Just steadfast and certain she’ll land on her own two feet
You’ll think you can break her
‘Cause you think that she’s crazy and weak
But her power will defy you when she wears her heart on her sleeve
Heart on her sleeve
She will never learn you’re tranquility
She will never learn how to let things slide off her
Joy over whelm her and her sorrow won’t subside
Yeah, she still may be transparent
She got no got no defenses to speak of
But she will stand here before you with no pride or prejudice
Just steadfast and certain that she’ll land on her own two feet
You think you can break her
‘Cause you think that she’s crazy and weak
But her power will defy you when she wears her heart on her sleeve
Oh, you may condemn me
With your bitter words and untouchable rage
Yeah, you may torment me
‘Cause I don’t lead my life in your way
But I will stand here before you with no pride or prejudice
Just steadfast and certain that I will land on my own two feet
You think you can break me
Bring my head down to my knees
when my heart’s on my sleeve

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(no subject)

Jun. 7th, 2006 | 08:00 pm
location: my couch
mood: cranky cranky
music: whos to say

hmmm.....haha......i have no clue.....im so....ahhh.....confused....i.....hate.....boys....and drama.......and.....FINAlLLLS :(.....i give up...not really.....im just gonna say that to make myself feel better...boo.
<333
Me

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random quiz............

Apr. 16th, 2006 | 04:16 pm

Your dating personality profile:

Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Your date match profile:

Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date.
Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Stylish
2. Outgoing
3. Liberal
4. Adventurous
5. Big-Hearted
6. Romantic
7. Intellectual
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Funny
10. Practical
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Conservative
2. Romantic
3. Outgoing
4. Adventurous
5. Stylish
6. Funny
7. Big-Hearted
8. Practical
9. Intellectual
10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

huh...weird

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(no subject)

Apr. 7th, 2006 | 06:52 pm

hmmmmm i need to do something..i dont know what....im bored with everything.....any ideas??

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(no subject)

Mar. 11th, 2006 | 08:20 pm

its been a long time so this will be a filler inner the musical is over and i surprisingly miss it, it was a blast and i had a ton o fun! i got to hang with one of my bestest buddys who is currently in collage so i dont see him to much , we went over to my place and watched rent and played connect four and had a blast and now i miss him again (BOO). spring is nex weekend so i guess i should be getting ready for that i got my dress and shoes and dinner place still need tickets need makeup oh shit that reminds me gotta make a hair appt blah all the money i am spending gechhhhh oh and need make upish stuff that i wont sweat off...wow girls need alot of stuff for dances...meh oh HEY ROB IF U READ THIS GET A DARKISH RED TIE OR FACE MY WRATH OTAY! hmm what else is going on.....nothing is coming to my mind as of now
<333
ME

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fill this out<333

Feb. 4th, 2006 | 12:16 pm

1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. weirdest food you like:
RECOMMEND
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. weirdest thing about me:
4. something youve never had a chance to tell me:
5. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.

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i have the best friends!!!!!

Feb. 2nd, 2006 | 10:37 pm
mood: <33 my friends <33 my friends
music: without you (RENT)

so i am few days late on this post but i officially have the bestest friends ever!thank you guys (and megan cause shes no guy! also i <333 kristen for staying the day with me after my surgery and elizzy for being there for me when i made my panicked phone call! i wouldnt feel so damn good now if you all hadnt been there!!!!! ps the flowers are awsomeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
i <3333 you all sooooooo much
<3333
Amanda

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