So its been a long time. things have been alright. everyone has left, I am leaving on wed. for school. late, which sucks. I am actually depressed that I am leaving so late, I feel like if I left in aug like everyone else it would have been ok, it sucks i had to say goodbye to everyone, I am the last to go. i miss a lot of people, i feel very optimistic about being back in Philly though. i have been very hot and cold with the whole thing, i don’t want to leave, i don’t want to leave what i have here, but i know i need to move on. i thought it would be hard going back to Philly which the area is a place i view as home, with my friends, people i have known forever, but then i was like i have this whole view of home as this person i used to be, i have changed a lot. I am so different from who i used to be, its weird. but i know ill be ok, i know ill have a good time, it is what you make it. I am going to miss a lot of people though. for a long time i viewed new jersey and Philly as my home, but i honestly know Connecticut is it. i remember dreading moving here, hating it here so much, but i love it now and its sad to see the people i love so much stay and me leave, i don’t know if i am making a good or a bad move by leaving. its not that I am worried about having a bad time, I am more worried about losing everything i have here, not to say i don’t love my friends there, but the friendships i have in Connecticut are friendships i feel will last a lifetime, i have had so many amazing memories here so far and its only been a year and a half. I am going to miss Evan a lot, although he is already gone, Colleen, Carisa, Amanda, and Josh. i will most definitely miss a lot of other people too, but these people are like my soul mates here. I know i will be ok. it will just take time.
i know that I am going to miss Starbucks here, i loved the people i worked with, i know i have gone through a lot of rough times at my store here, mainly getting in trouble, but the people i worked with for the most part were the best.
after dealing with Nicole’s death i realized a lot, a lot i have already known but that has just hit me full force, i never argue or get mad at people anymore, because if i leave angry or the other person leaves angry, god knows what could happen, i might not see the person ever again, because god forbid i die, or they do, and i will always have that hanging over my head, life is to short to hate, I really realized don’t take life for granted because you don’t know what might come your way.
i just hope every one knows and realizes how much i care about them, and how much people mean to me, i might not say it a lot, or i might seem mad or unhappy with someone or stressed angry or what have you, but i do love and care so much about each and everyone of my friends, and i hope everyone understands and knows that.
life is what you make it, and so far, i have no regrets.