Well. This really sucks. I'm not trying to make light of the situation, really, you know my arse is on the chopping block too here. This really does suck, though.
I've spent my own share of time crying and freaking out and tearing out my hair and bargaining with Merlin to please keep me and my parents alive through all of this, but I'm not going to waste my time with that anymore. I guess because Increase is here, staying with me throughout all of this, I guess it makes me feel better. Well it definitely makes me feel better. He's trying to be strong, but... God is like he's broken inside. I actually feel worse for him than I do for me or my mum. Much worse. When it happens it'll be like blinking-- one second we're here and the next second we're not. That's it. But for him, he'll see it happen. He'll have to deal with my... us... when it's over. Merlin it's just wrong.
He's probably thinking of shielding me. I've seen his looks. I've got my wand out, just in case. No way I'm going to be left alive with that kind of burden.
... Being dead isn't such a big deal anyway, I guess. You can't complain if you're dead. Unless you're a ghost. I wonder how many ghosts will be made from this? Eh, Sylvie? I wonder if I'll end up a ghost. I guess being a ghost isn't so bad...if Cedric can stand it. But I think I'd rather not.
If I stayed and died at Hogwarts I could become another Hufflepuff House ghost. Ha. And that's another thing! Mum dragged me out of school and made me grow up early just so that we could run away from the war and survive, and now we're dead anyway. Thanks Mum, appreciate that. Really now. Okay, this kind of bitterness is really going to turn me into a ghost.
... but really now! What a bloody waste of time!
I am writing because I finally have a little time, and I thought I'd give you all a little update on my so-called life. Yeah, like you're all dying to hear.
Well, mum's doing fine. Still always bloody scared. I'm starting to think we should cancel the paper subspcritions and toss out the wireless and the telly for all the good the news is doing her. I try not to let her get to me, because otherwise I'd turn bitter and I'd rather not be bitter. Still, I'd rather be at Hogwarts...
But hey, at least I'm working now. Assistant at a local veterinary. A wizarding veterinary. Yes, even without a CoMC NEWT. To tell the truth I wasn't a great student, not even a great CoMC student, but I did well in Potions and anyway, I pestered them over and over until they gave me a job, and I haven't killed anything yet, so so far, so good. You know, I never saw myself doing something like this, my CoMC was so mediocre, but it's not bad. I can do it, at least for now.
I miss Quidditch though, we never have enough people for a full game, and there are so few places to play nowadays since
You-Know-Who started causing crap again you know what. Ah well.
I speak of the news, and I read about Azkaban and I just couldn't believe it. What a sick thing to happen. I feel bad about Sally-Anne. You know, I never liked her. She was a bitch, and oh my god she was so full of herself! Yeah, fine, you can play a guitar, so what? Like that gave you the right to be the lizard king of bitches. But she didn't deserve to die like that. At all, I mean. It was just horrible. Hannah, Megan, Increase. I can't even tell you... how I felt.
Like a coward.
Well...anyway... I haven't had a chance to keep up too well with goings on at the school. My guess is that Malfoy's still a jerk, Nott's still a wanker, Sylvie's still causing damage and making everyone hate her and Gryffindors are still annoying. I bet! Some things don't change, you know!
When this is all over, I'm going to get my NEWTs, even if I don't need them. ... maybe. If I still feel like it.
That's all from me. Stay alive, losers.
Oh my God! Did you see, in the paper? Thomas is--
( Return Owl to Perrine MidgenCollapse )
I don't know what to do. Mum keeps Owling me about pulling me out, and now she's going to talk to McGonagall. Even dad
is getting into this, as if he has anything proper to say about it.
I'm at my wits end. I'm legally an adult and I choose to stay. That should be the end of it.
Stupid Zhukov. Why'd he have to go and get himself killed like that?
I suppose I-- we were lucky. I didn't have any really embarrassing secrets to come out. Well I do, but nobody asked the right questions. They mostly asked about Ashman and I-- actually, the fact that I actually don't have anything to reveal about that is kind of...emberassing.
Still, it wasn't funny. I mean sweets that made people sprout out yellow feathers. That's funny. This was just stupid, and potentially so hurtful.
Forget it, I'm not going to worry about it. Got the end of the month to look forward to, I think.
Stupid Dobbs and her stupid reporting. We're not even doing anything.
Well, practise is going well. It's a month or so before our first game, and I'm starting to get anxious already. But I'm flying well enough, even with a year off. I think it will be okay, as long as we keep practising.
I agree with Isobel, I think the Profs are trying to kill us. I'm just glad I dropped NEWTs-Potions
( To the Hufflepuff Quidditch TeamCollapse )
Uh, right.. Slytherin love triangles, (or would that be, quadrangles?) very entertaining. Full disclosures all over. Normally I'd revel in your collective embarrassment, but knowing the players involved just makes it a little...queasy. So lighten up, will you?
Increase has been so excited about Tremlett coming to do music at the dinner. He hasn't seen him since Fourth Year, and he still
talks about that. His wife is quite pretty too. Hm. Well, at least we know the music will be decent.
8 bloody feet for homework I've already done. Where's he get off?
Wanker. I wonder if he drives the Japanese mad too.