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thoughts of a prophet

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As I've Matured Jan. 13th, 2005 @ 11:59 pm
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of the kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not...tough shit.
feeling: deviousdevious

Figures... Aug. 14th, 2004 @ 02:30 pm


You Know You're From New Jersey When...


You've been seriously injured at Action Park.

You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.

You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."

You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."

You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.

Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.

You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.

You know that the state isn't all farmland.

You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."

You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.

You knew that the last question had to do with driving.

You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.

You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).

You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.

In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.

You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.

You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.

You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.

You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.

You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.

You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.

You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.

You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.

You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

You've never pumped your own gas.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey.




feeling: bitchybitchy

HONESTLY, reply with your number choice(s): May. 3rd, 2004 @ 12:38 pm
0= I don't know you
1= I like you
2= I love you!!
3= You are funny
4= You are cool
5= I don't really care for your personality
6= I want to fuck you
7= You are sexy!
8= You have a nice body
9= I want to get to know you
10= I hope you die
11= Marry me, PLEASE?

When you are finished, pass this message on to find out how people really feel about you.
feeling: curiouscurious

President Bush Jr. Apr. 21st, 2004 @ 01:46 pm
Anybody want to get in on making a nuclear powered whoopie cushion and sneaking it into the White House, to be placed in the main man's chair?

It'll be the fart heard round the world! Probably just leave him a stinky smear on the wall...
feeling: pissed offpissed off

Ouchie Feb. 29th, 2004 @ 01:57 pm
this last weekend - http://www.livejournal.com/users/the_crossroads/924.html
feeling: tiredtired

THE SKINHEAD HAMLET Feb. 23rd, 2004 @ 07:24 pm
the plays the thingCollapse )
feeling: distresseddistressed

uh oh Jan. 30th, 2004 @ 11:43 am
Jay found me.

Was at the lunatic_cafe a couple days ago and I just felt his presence. Not how I usually am, might've had something to do with the place; maybe his being gone for so long made it more distinct.

He's exactly as I remember. Apparently he and mace_windu are getting pretty tight.
feeling: shockedshocked

trading card Jan. 16th, 2004 @ 11:09 am

LiveJournal
Trading Cards
Paid Account Edition
_silent_bob_
User Number: 1501947
Date Created:2003-12-02
Number of Posts: 5

There's always a lot going on in my head but I'm very selective of the moments I choose to share my thoughts.
Strengths: I'm very patient
Weaknesses: Jay
Special Skills: Jedi mind trick, can talk to animals
Weapons: amazing toys
Thing to know: God thinks I'm cute.


Make your own LiveJournal Trading Card!
Brought to you by crossfire
feeling: hyperhyper

works Jan. 9th, 2004 @ 12:34 pm
welcome home jersey kid.
Welcome home. You're SO Jersey. You know Wildwood
and Seaside are the most disgusting places on
earth, and only good for drunken after prom
vacations, you know there's always a
"short-cut" to someplace. Isn't
Jersey great? I mean, where else can you go 80
MPH and STILL be the slowest car on the road?


How JERSEY are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
feeling: thankfulthankful

No more Quickstop Jan. 8th, 2004 @ 12:29 pm
Been spending most of my time outside the lunatic_cafe, pop inside for snacks and meals and drinks. Otherwise I'm outside, doing my thing.

Think Jay was really all that held me to the Quickstop...something to think on...
feeling: mellowmellow
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