Log in

I don't wanna be lonely... [entries|friends|calendar]
Severus D. Snape

[ website | the girl behind the boy ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[04 Jul 2004|02:43pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Well. A lot of things have happened during my time at Hogwarts; I've seen a lot of shit, been through my fair share, and had to pick up many pieces of broken pride, image and what-not, learning to spellotape it back together and hope for the best. Of course I regret some of the things I have done before, said before... who hasn't? Sometimes we just cross a line we didn't even realise was there because we were blind with anger... maybe even blind with hurt; sometimes it's hard to split those emotions into two separate things. But maybe now it's just time to forget about rivalries, because something big is coming up. I can feel it.

My letter from Mother and Father arrived this morning. I fear I have to make a decision soon.

30 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[27 Jun 2004|04:50pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Nothing much to report. Then again, it seems I've been too involved in my work to take notice of anything.

+ People are walking around a lot blonde...er.
+ Walked in on a 5th year boy wanking up a storm in the toilets yesterday morning. Dropped my books in a state of panic and I still haven't went back to get them. I don't know who was more embarassed; me or him. *sigh*
+ Am currently hated by my Gryffindor/Hufflepuff Potions class. They think I'm too... dramatic, or something.
+ Have claimed ownership of my beloved tree. Muaha.

... and that's about it. God, could this school be more boring?

- Severus

40 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[23 Jun 2004|11:52am]
[ mood | crazy ]

And... the stress has come back. With a monstrous bang.

This classroom assistance gig I have going on... it's really not doing any wonders to my temper. I screamed at three kids today, all of which looked as if they'd been slapped in the face repeadedtly. I need to stop this. I need to get out before I kill someone!!!

And I think I may have gone insane.

If you don't believe me, check the trunk of my beloved oak tree for evidence of dents.

58 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[20 Jun 2004|12:43pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I think they know what... we know. If you know what I mean, you know.

And watch me while I don't give a shit.

15 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

mission accomplished... so far...! [18 Jun 2004|08:59pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Muahaha. I'm so evil.

11 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[18 Jun 2004|10:16am]
[ mood | cranky ]

Ooh for goodness sake!! After completing all of the work required for this damn place, and finally getting used to being bored, the Potions Master asks me to assist him with his first year Hufflepuff/Gryffindor Potions class... on a regular basis.... He says they are 'bloody useless,' and I should be able to 'knock some sense into them!' Somehow, I don't think so.

In other news...

Well, the remedy-potion worked. And Gilderoy is very happy with his hair. Which is a good thing; as it doesn't give anyone another reason to hate me. Heh.

However, I can see a devious plot unraveling in the near-distant future... give me the word, Gilderoy - I'm more than happy to make sure the bastard pays. Hem.

As Andromeda has already mentioned, things between us are a little rocky, but that's life, isn't it? I always say challenges make it that little bit more interesting.

Must dash - I have some made up, in a state of panic dreams to interpret for Divination.

18 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[17 Jun 2004|05:04pm]
[ mood | infuriated ]

Why are people convinced that I'm going to hurt Andromeda? I love her... I would never do anything to hurt her, and she knows that. I just wish everyone else would, too.

18 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

*sigh* [16 Jun 2004|08:00pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

If there is one thing I've learned this week, it's to live like tomorrow is never going to come... which I suppose in this day and age is a pretty damn good moral to have.

After that little rocky conversation with Andromeda (which, I am pleased to say has been cleared up), I realised that our future is merely a few footsteps away and it scared the hell out of me... we need to make the most of our last years at Hogwarts.

Speaking of conversations, I've been having a lot of those recently. I'm quite annoyed at myself for thinking in the past that Remus was on the same mental level as his cohorts - which is, of course, not true. But then again, my ignorance for that group could be a disadvantage - I've never really spoken to any of them on a level like I did with Remus yesterday. I just know them as enemies, not as people.

On a lighter note, I helped poor Lockhart out with his hair. At least, I think I helped - we shall see at sunup. His hair will either be shining like the rays of the sun, or the... tentacles of the Giant Squid. Heh.

- Sev

32 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[16 Jun 2004|09:43am]
[ mood | numb ]

'...The man had killed the thing he loved
And so he had to die.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die...'

-- Wilde

1 whisper| who's rapping at my chamber door?

;_; [15 Jun 2004|11:01pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

When you think that things can't get worse... they do. Why does that always happen to me? I think it's some sort of birth-curse; 'Nothing will go right in Severus Snape's life. Ever.'

I knew I was destined to be alone.


And my cigarettes have mysteriously disappeared from my back pocket.

51 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

Owl To Andromeda [15 Jun 2004|10:22am]
[ mood | romantic ]


'Be Happy, you shall have your red rose.
I will build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with my own heart's-blood.
All I ask of you in return is that you will be a true lover, for Love is wiser than Philosophy, though she is wise,
And mightier than Power, though he is mighty...
Life is very dear to all.
It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold,
And the moon in her chariot of pearl.
Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill.
Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?'

- Wilde



9 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

-woe is me- [14 Jun 2004|03:03pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

The amount of work we have had piled on top of us is dreadful... I knew this would be a hard year, and I usually take homework and extra-credit in my stride... but Merlin! Give us a break please! ;_; Not only that, but due to the amount of work we've been given I've found myself gradually become more and more sloppy in Potions, which is just not on... Plus, my temper is just not one to be tampered with. OK, so I reacted a bit too harshly with Lockhart, but I had other things on my mind, and to be honest... I scared myself a bit. I managed to snap two quills in History this morning because I'm so wired up - my emotions are all over the place. ;_;

15 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[13 Jun 2004|11:41pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Just a quick note to say how great I feel, and that I should remember that most things I would like to say that won't come out should come out anyway.

... and that I should really consider investing in a re-filling catfood tray. *sigh*

7 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[13 Jun 2004|08:21am]
[ mood | content ]

Well... last night was... nice. Very. I finally got over my fear of rejection and took a step, and as it turned out, it was the right thing to do. And I'm actually smiling.

21 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

Meh!! [12 Jun 2004|04:53pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Okay... so I've been buried in my work, for what? A week? And so much has happened when I have been gone. I feel an even bigger outcast than usual. *sigh*

Plus certain people I like are sick and feeling a little bit crap and I feel there is nothing I can do about it... there have been arguments and drama... maybe I should just crawl back into the hole from hence I came. *insert witty comment here*

I miss Andromeda.


- Sev

12 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

Blah [04 Jun 2004|10:14am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Well, today was as eventfull as any other. I think the only thing of interest was the owl I recieved from my parents at breakfast this morning, requesting my company at the Manor during Christmas. It's a bit early, is it not, Mother? *sigh*

Anyway, I think I might go for a walk and a smoke around the lake. You know, to avoid the constant 'Severus, why are you writing in that thing?!' cat-calls from my lovely housemates.

- Severus

24 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

*sigh* [02 Jun 2004|05:50pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Was it just me or did today go incredibly slowly? Ahh, anyway, for me it did. I had this afternoon off, and only my Charms homework and Apollo to keep me company. Does anyone know a good charm to get rid of cat hair from robes? She always insists on malting all over my clothes. *sigh*

I sent an owl to Andromeda. I hope she doesn't think I'm weird (well, more weird than I already am), because I really didn't mean to act all silent and... well, me. She just gave me a bit of a shock, that's all. No one has ever told me... that, before. Maybe she didn't mean to say it at all. Yeah, that's probably it...

I keep looking at Apollo and wishing I was a cat. They have such better lives than us mere mortals. For one, I'd go and teach Mrs Norris her place. Heh.

Anyway, must dash... because I've run out of things interesting to say.

- Sev

16 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

Owl to Andromeda [01 Jun 2004|09:01am]
[ mood | crushed ]

/Owl Message/

You're not untouchable.


12 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

:S [31 May 2004|05:37pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

OK, so I was sitting outside having a ciggie. No big deal. Ohh yeah, apart from the fact that I totally made an arse out of myself in front of Andromeda. The girl is like a Goddess.

Plus, my feelings, as well as my stomach, are totally in knots.

who's rapping at my chamber door?

-_- [31 May 2004|12:09pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Woke up this morning with a very sore headache, I have a feeling it was something to do with that 4th year Slytherin who thought it was funny to throw a dinner plate at me during lunch yesterday. Then again, I could be wrong...

Anyway, I am really intrigued about this whole DADA society. We might finally be able to get our hands round something real and actually learn. And despite little rivalries, I can actually see myself having fun (eh? What now??!! Heh.) Now all we need is a Potions, History (eh hem - ever heard of a thing called modern History, Binns?) and Arithmancy group... hell, why don't we just form our own little education bureau behind the teacher's backs? Heh. But seriously, I'm itching to learn.

And I don't think anyone could have been more decent to me this week than Andromeda Black. That woman has proved to me there are real human beings with feelings at this school.

31 whispers| who's rapping at my chamber door?

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]