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rhuairi

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[22 Aug 2006|12:53pm]
HA YOU WANA KNOW WHO I AM MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU WANA READ THIS SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOME LITTLE PART OF ME, WELL FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU ALL, GO FUCK YOURSLEVES AND DIE, IM NOT SOME KID ANYMORE WHO PORES HIS SOUL OUT FOR PEOPLE TO PICK AT EXAMINE AND JUDGE, HALF OF THE PEOPLE WHO SEE THIS JOURNAL I DONT EVEN SPEAK TO, OR I DONT EVEN KNOW, I DONT READ YOURS, WHY, BECAUSE I COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK THAT 'OH LIFE IS OH SO FUCKING HARD'. WELL BOO -HOO MOTHERFUCKER, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, IT TENDS TO SHIT ON YOU A LOT. AND IF LIFE DOES SHIT ON YOU, THEN WHY FEEL YOU NEED TO TELL PEOPLE YOU ONLY SEEING POSING IN SOME DINGY CLUB IN ROMFORD AND WHO THINK THEY ARE THE COOLEST THING SINCE RED BASEBALL CAPS. EMO SUPREME YOU BUNCH OF CUNTS.
- come, abuse me.

brought to you by the hanso foundation...... [24 Nov 2005|05:24pm]
so what who cares
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[20 Oct 2005|04:37pm]
holla, bow down and kiss the ring.
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[18 Sep 2005|05:31pm]
ok maybe i never post in this anymore, but hell why not, ive gone from feeling cuntish when i woke up, to having a baby in my arms most of the afternoon, and when a gurgling girl looks as cute as amber, then nothing can be bad. the innocence of her is amazing, she is yet to experience life, she is still an unblemished mind, aware of clours and shapes, instead of hate, religion, greed, lust and vainity. she has yet to be exploited by the mass corperations, and has to hone her musical and visual tastes. ah the joys of childhood innocence. how we all miss it.

started randomly chatting to people from my uni, havent spoken to any of them since my graduation, we all agreed that it is 'mega-fucking-fucked-up-big-styleeeee' that we've finished. its a shock, people i know are starting uni, about to experience the 3 years of life in which you make the transition from mouthy horny teens, to subtle but even hornier adults. im re-assesing my current situation, it sucks, my life seems to have no future, everything was planned out in the long term, even though i take it one day at a time.

a few summers ago, i found out i'd become a bit of a player. but when the player is getting played, then it becomes even more fun. everyone playing with each other, but doing it well enough for others not to know, for them to get the wrong idea. who cares who goes with who, yes we're probably treading on others toes, but fuck it, if you have a problem with it, then dont just moan, fucking join in, you'll feel much better for it. or othgerwise the old downward spiral of being bored lonely and a little pissed off begins to creep in. stop the rot and enjoy life.

certain people will read this and know exactly what im talking about, who im talking about and whats happening in my life. well so what? i probably know whats going on in your life? but do i care, do i fuck. ok yeah i dont want any hassel, because hassel is the pinnacle of all things evil, it can break friendships, make you unhappy, even fuck you up at work. but everything is hassel, even waking up. live with it.

im a lover not a hater, a giver not a taker


peace and fucking believe
2 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

[22 Aug 2005|12:06pm]
and when the answer that you want is in the question that you state........what did i do to deserve this........
2 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

[01 Aug 2005|02:22pm]
[ mood | listless ]

i was just reading over old entries, weird reading back at certain times. certain people that i used to write about i dont talk to or see anymore, its strange how feelings change.

3 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

[18 Jul 2005|12:47pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

those stupid cunts in whitehall made magic mushrooms a class A substance, thats right kids, its now in the same class as synthetic drugs like heroin and crack, whereas you can still go to places like epping forest and pick them out of the ground. the government now gets no vat, the drug dealers will hike the price and as its a class a they'll try and shove some extra goodies with them. at least when you bought schrooms, you knew what you were getting, they were all labelled for where they were from, how strong, what effects, etc. but no we'll have to trust the judgment of some dodgy drug dealer as to what they are. its a free country and if i want to schroom, i should be able to go out and buy this natural plant and trip my tits off.

as with cannabis, once again the man tries to prove that god was wrong.

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[26 Jun 2005|11:25am]
arghhhhh why do the littlest things cause so much fucking hassel.
1 bullshiter - come, abuse me.

[03 Jun 2005|01:39am]
[ mood | AKIRA! ]

its amazing how you feelings can change in a few days. for once i found myself getting wound up over something trivial, and seeing certain people was the the last thing i wanted, and missing them by seconds. but the crunching thing was the arm over the shoulder, out of sight they assume, but i smiled to myself, sat down and relaxed. it has already begun.....

for saying no to saying yes can make or break friendships, which i am discovering, simple things like messages or five minute phonecalls is all the effort needed. im returning my life to normal, although this past week has fucked me a bit. i have the most erratic sleep patterns. but i feel good. things are looking up.

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[21 May 2005|11:34am]
[ mood | zoom zoom ]

urgh, festival today, should be fun, feel tired tho, pro evo til 2am, myself proving to be the worst at it, but being the only person that could beat jon. tre has woken up in stanford-le-hope, think a midday road trip is in order to get his arse back to jons for the footie and spliffs. then methinks we may move to my uni bout 6ish, and we wont stop for 12hours *hopes*. have to keep tre on a leash, and jon boy wants to pop his little friends so he'll be in a world of his own for most of the night, and im gona have to look after them (fat chance of that happening).

saw revenge of the sith on thursday, mission to uci, tis phat, 30 minute fight scene, thats what you want!

urgh, feeling it.

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[20 May 2005|09:49am]
i knew it would happen, the day they say goodbye, i tried to be nice, i tried my hardest, and all the things you didnt want me to say to you your now doing to me. just pisses me off double standards sometimes, how one person expects so much from you and they throw it back with out so much of a sorry. what if i hadnt done what i'd done. it could have dragged on endlessly, pointless and harsh, shamfull all the same. So why am i bothering? because i felt bad, because i felt sorry, i'd never done that sort of thing before, it was new for me, but you'd been there, you knew what you were doing, you knew what you wanted to do. you dont it, you got your way, like you always tried to. no its over for good, short hellos in packed bar, a wave from across the dancefloor. i still felt like i never trusted you, and ive always thought you'd lied to me, because you said you, you lie you cheat you steal, its who you are, and i never liked that, i hate dishonest people, and your high up there with them. If you dont sort things out, the downfall will begin and you'll have yourslef to blame. You've stopped being a friend, a memory is all thats left. Thats all you are to me now, a memory. At one point it was nice to know you, but now its the be all and end all. x
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[17 May 2005|11:54am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i sat in the union yesterday, chatting to people who i knida know, but starting to get to know better, you the people who are friends of friends and you just give them quick hellos, and never know what they're all about, until you actually stop and go, 'you alright?'. simple. a few pints and games of pool and i think im getting coke with them for the festival. i hate coke. he's getting coke coz over the past few years at uni, he has drunk himself silly, and now has liver damage and is shitting blood. get in there mike,.

completely unexpectedly im going to a festival this weekend. 2pm til 6am, cup final to survivors breakfast. shall search out the chinese gardens, sit down and relax with the people ive had a mad three years with. myself and the hassel man may go and tart ourselves up for it, although plastic chav will prob buy a whole new wardrobe and insist that he's gods gift, when in reality, myself and mr hassel shall woe all before us. freshers shall be fun fun fun.

Found out i handed in more work than i needed to, one essay i was having hassel with and i didnt even need to hand it in! cunts, could have worked even harder on one and gone for a higher grade, cunt cunt cunt.

i am going to whore myself to tv companies these next few weeks.

3 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

[15 May 2005|07:23pm]
[ mood | excited ]

it begins tomorrow. the start. the new.

it all ends tomorrow.

hold up, stop, remember your past, turn that last page, dot that last i, cross that last t, present, stamp, breathe......

this is it, the end of one life, the start of another. my education finishes, the 5 year plan comes to an end. where now, what now and why? ive run out of plans, so things have to change, a plan shall be formed, rebuilding shall begin with haste, not much, just little things that mean so much but wont be missed.

when i hand in my work, i may feel sad? but why, i knew this was going to end, like school, like college, like uni.....but nothing ends now, its from her i can make my way into life, i liked calling myself a 'stinkin' student lameo'.

the exile from romford is in full swing, new places, new faces, so the boys will live it up this summer, enjoy the air in the sun, girls, gwam and the green green parks are priority, where football and spliffs rule, and sunburn becomes your daily woe.

late nights and late afternoons, relaxing at a job i enjoy, with friends i can call friends, a family that loves me, and my cat who is the one who always listens and never walks away or judges me, i feed her, she listens.

start saving for new things, clothes, phone, car, place of my own to call home. get a job with someone, who pays me well enough for me to be smiling. smile people, we dont do it enough.

fuck me this summer is gonna be the tits.


reach for the lasers! safe as fuck!

(but first to finish my last essay.....)

1 bullshiter - come, abuse me.

[10 May 2005|10:46am]
[ mood | artistic ]

TONIGHT WE DANCE! FOR TOMORROW THEY RELEASE THE DOGS

2 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

[06 May 2005|12:24pm]
[ mood | busy ]

meh, started the work, stopped, started again, now im doing this to avoid said work. coursework can be really shit if your not in the mood to do it, and i never seem in the mood. the quicker i get this done, the quicker i can have even more fun, and go drive to lots of people around the country, get drunk and be merry, crash on a floor (unless im lucky, which is never), drive back. simple.

my car has no mot, its run out, but i cant be fucked to get it renewed. its only 40 squid, but its the hassel of driving to elm park and having to find something to do in elm park for about 40 mins. now thats hard. also majorly needs a clean, thanks to joey for dropping a spliff on the floor of my car. also needs another service, and i should really get that done before the mot, but then if i concentrate on my car, then i wont do my uni work. need to sell shitloads of stuff on ebay, its pilling up all this shite cds.

priorities! uni work first, car fixed second, the ebay, then have fun. in that order. and all of that hopefully should be done by the 16th may. fat chance.

jon told me a strange dream he had that envolved him becoming a massive serial killer in cranham, move onto london, get found out, take tre and lucy hostage, get found, blow lots of police up, make a getaway in a nearby plane, go to a villa in spain where tre and lucy are still tied up in a room, whilst jon laughs manically. that could be a good film.

attempted to watch all of the election, but its hard to stay awake, i fell asleep soon after romford was announced (gone 2am i think). pity, thought i could be hardcore and go through. i needed more weed for that!

1 bullshiter - come, abuse me.

[05 May 2005|11:34am]
[ mood | power cheese ]

too many names, gona delete some of you, just to let ya know, its not that i dont like you, its just i dont want to hear your about your lives when they dont really interest me. people staying know.

2 bullshiters - come, abuse me.

TONIGHT WE DANCE! FOR TOMORROW THEY RELEASE THE DOGS!!!! [04 May 2005|01:15pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

gah another weekend of tomfoolery, this time at poj's, snakebite and vodka from 2pm to 7.30pm, down to pojs shop to buy some trainers, then into a pub that old sold independent beers, few pints and some stolen glass things, back for more snakebites and frozen vodka, many spliffs and an angry game of burnout3, til at 4am came tres bedtime, and wanting of noodles and a bedtime spilff, the hassel that followed, sleep. saw threemovements, pissed again. saw lots of old mates, hung out, tidy like. stopped seeing some mates. these things happen in life, one part ends another starts, and some people are at that stage and find it hard to see where its going, but if you do things now, you can make the next part so much easier for yourself. rebuild, restart, get your life in order and go forward, never look back but just take the memories as souvenirs.

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[29 Apr 2005|03:56pm]
[ mood | bored ]

if you play every time i die on an acoustic, it sounds shit. bored before work, what fun.

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[29 Apr 2005|12:27pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

another day, another morning of 'where do you go at night, and why do you end up getting in so late.' if you stop telling, they stop asking.

tears cheers and bellyaches on tuesday, i have no reason to go back into uni, other to hand in my work, or get fucked at the summer festival. should be fun.

away again this weekend i believe, im enjoying this randomness, seeing people i havent in a while, or going places ive never been, meeting people i dont really know. but im contradicting myself, seeing as ive got in contact with shit loads of old friends this past week, some of them i thought i'd never talk to again!

(thanks for wednesday, i needed it! <3 )

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[25 Apr 2005|01:32pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

i had one of the best weekends in ages. waking up smiling, knowing i didnt care what happened the night before, because in a couple of hours i was going to disappear again and they'll all wonder who the fuck i was, the guy in the corner chatting to the girls that you wanted to talk to, that you had something with. but dont fuck it up in their faces, they dont like it, rubbing it in can make girls cry, but kebabs and singing sort it all out. amazing seeing one girl with so many kebabs in her arms, and i ruin it all buy 'adding' chips. s'all about silver glitter wigs as well.

15 hours sleep to recover, tidy.

my last ever seminar is tomorrow, people may shed a tear, because thats it folks, ive fucking finished. 3 years of fun, and all i'll get to show is a stupid piece of paper thats supposed to mean i get paid 30% more than someone who doesnt have one of those stupid pieces of paper. real world here i come.

peace&fucking.believe

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