|i just forgot you where there
||[Nov. 21st, 2004|04:52 pm]
I forget things when he is there, i forget there are people behind me, someone holding my hand, someone laughing at him, someone standing by his side, forget my best friend is looking on in amazment at what an idiot i'm being.
I forget to be nice to him, its much easier just to kick him and shout "O DAVEY I HATE YOU" at the top of my voice. And i don't understand why.
O yeah jealously that might be it, And the best way to to get over someone is to find someone else? Well thats a lie, because all you can think about is how the new person isn't him. And never will be, But get over? to be quite honest it never really began, I'm just waiting for it to start, But it won't if i keep pushing him away, Its like a tug of war, We both end up covered in mud and regrets everytime we meet. When i shout i hate you in a silent street. i Mean the opposite, Its quite clear inside my head...
So i'm writing this shit, but i'll never let him read it, last time i tried to tell him how i feel i fucked up big time, ended with a "FUCK OFF" on his part. sticks and stones? Words will always help me. i Liked the way he apologized for that, "I'm not entirely sober, and i've been told i should say sorry" great one on his part. I hope he knows i'm listening to all his shit, i'll sit and wait, one day he'll realise what he means to me, CORRECTION what he could mean to me, like i said it ever really began, so doesn't that mean it could never really end? stuck like this for ever? O here comes the "emo", i never stop thinking about what could be, all the hidden meaning in the hello he said to me. Hidden meanings? yeah i'm sure... i hope he realises ? or do i like playing his game, MY game. My game never began, his game never began..o the emos back again. I'll pretend i've never felt this way? But i may be lying, maybe its just the wrong mistake at the right time.
I flipped a coin, it said he'd love me one day, How can i beleive a piece of metal that spins through the air? well i do, its not even fate its stupidity, but i don't care.
I'll waste my time trapping myself in my own spiderwebs hes not even spinning them, i've lead myself on But in somebody elses words "I can't help believing"
Nah nah nah nah nah "i just forgot you were there"
MAybe for always, MAybe For never