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rachel!
15 January 2009 @ 01:26 pm
 rent is the greatest musical i have ever seen.
 
 
rachel!
09 January 2009 @ 10:51 pm
 sometimes i find things in my room (which really should be cleaned more often) that make me want to vomit.
i cant believe how i almost completely ruined my life, i ruined and wasted years of it on a friendship and a relationship that were crap. complete crap. andy asked me why im prettier than most of the girls i date. i laughed, there was only one person i could think he was referring to. he was looking at old pictures a couple days and found some ones that should have been thrown away. hahaha. he told me i could do better. i told him everything. he told me i deserve better. i know i can and i know i do.
you are a bitch, a cunt, a liar, a slob. stupid. a waste of space and life.
people waste their talents and their potential, it's horrible. if you're given a gift... use it. you have certain talents and abilities for a reason. ridiculous. when someone can waste their potential, they deserve every bad thing that happens to them because they're just being lazy and obviously dont care. 
nothing worth having is going to be handed to anyone, god forbid anyone actually work towards something.
i dont know why, but i needed to vent. 
venting is like yoga. it makes me feel relaxed. 

i cant wait for school to start. im doing really well, cause (duh) im a smarty pants.
im not excited for work tomorrow and im not excited to go out tonight. i should really be getting ready. whatev.
im super mad i didnt go to the gym today, but i cant anyway. fucking shoulder. and i made it worse yesterday. i feel like my little cripple. poor baby. but watching her try to get dressed in the morning is hilarious. 

 
 
rachel!
04 January 2009 @ 12:55 am
i have never been so upset with myself.
my drinking leads to poor life choices.

i hope i didnt ruin my chances with either of them.
im generally not that type of girl. 

i want to see you when im sober. ive met you three times and im intrigued by you. ryan said you liked me after the first time we met. i think i fucked it up on wednesday night. 

help.
 
 
rachel!
01 January 2009 @ 05:46 pm
definitely ended 2008 interestingly.
im that girl.



oh shit.
 
 
rachel!
25 December 2008 @ 03:19 am
next month i am going to be a wreck.
one year.

on the plus side...
i got a lemon zester. =]
 
 
 
rachel!
17 December 2008 @ 11:37 pm
 you're logic, then and im assuming now, makes no sense. those "insightful" thoughts you had, were not at all insightful.. they dont make sense. but whatever. you're honestly one of the most stupid and unintelligent people i have ever met. you fucked up your life, not me. 
i've come to the conclusion you will never change. you're life is running a cycle. it may last longer for one time around and shorter for another, but regardless... it's the same thing over and over.
it's not going to change until you do.


january was not my fault. i did nothing to cause her actions.
i know you'll never get over the loss of her, and i wont either. but honestly, what good is blaming me, hating me doing you?
i miss her more than you could ever know, more than anyone will understand. i loved her, i always will. she will be in my heart as long as i live. i just wish we could have had more time together. i wish i would have seen it sooner, the love i had for her.  
krista, you will always be loved. i miss you more every day, my baby.
 
 
rachel!
09 December 2008 @ 12:06 pm
i miss high school summers, not high school, just the summers. when working twelve hours a week with four hour shifts was all i had to do. i miss working until eleven, going out with my friends, walking home at six in the morning to say hi to my mom when she was leaving for work and going to sleep until she got home. midnight swimming in my backyard with my best friends. i miss stealing random crap of people's lawns and knowing which streets had the best gnomes.
i cant really complain about summers now though... they're summer. they're my favorite. my birthday... hanging out with my best friend at the beach every single day i dont work. i love going out, i just miss coming home at six and seven in the morning... instead of waking up at seven and eight in the morning to work. but i have a better job now. better pay, awesome people, i do what i want.
i think winter and school just make me miss summer in general. boo.

also.
i do not want any indication of your existence. go away. dont leave little comments. you said you want me out, and clearly i want you out.. so go away. dont read this, dont comment. i do not exist, as far as you know. i completely forget that you are even alive until you contact me in any way, then i just get really really annoyed with your being. so please, for once, dont be a bitch, get out of my life, and leave me alone.
thanks.
 
 
rachel!
30 November 2008 @ 10:15 pm
hahahahaha.
sucks to be you.
apparently, it also sucks to be me because i have the plague, again.
fuck that shit.
 
 
rachel!
27 November 2008 @ 10:38 pm
 i am ridiculously thankful for my family... every single member of it. from little john in hawaii to my brother who will always be my most favorite person ever. everyone is so supportive of anything i could ever want to do with my life. and i love that we're crazy. we drink beer and make fun of eachother every time we're all together and i would never want to change a minute of it.
im thankful for my friends. the most amazing people i know. especially my really really good friends, who kow exactly who they are.
oh, im thankful for my life.
 
 
rachel!
23 November 2008 @ 07:59 pm
 glad you interrupted studying... missed you, babe.