|||||crushed, but surviving =)||]|
God i here about what's happenning in the world with the earthquakes and the tsunami's and it amazes me, i was touched by the make poverty history thing, but it amazes me how i have been- for so long- able to just coop myself up in my own world and problems. I cried loads last night because i am in a horrible horrible sitation, and i don't wanna live through it. But there are now 23'000+ people who have hd their lives taken, involuntarily, by a natural disaster, then there's me contemplating dying because of some stupid feelings. It's ridiculous! i hate me. And even when im typing this, i read back and i know it's all true, i know it but it just can't see to hit home how idiotic i am, how selfish. And sure, i hate what's happenning and when i found it out it was like my stomach had dropped a million miles and it caught my breath, but it's not the end of the world. So part one of my new year's resolution is to really think about other people before i think of myself, look at the bigger picture, rather than just whats happenning in my world.
Also i have been reading through my 'FRIENDS... 'TIL THE END The one with all ten years.' How hard they have worked for this, i really do look up to them they are amazing actors and actresses and i only hope that i can be like them. It is a hard world out there (career wise) and if you want the career you want you have to work really really hard. And i do, i do want their career i would love to have their career. I think its amazing how they have changed so many people's lives by doing the show, inlcuding me. So part two of my new year's resolution is to work harder in drama, concentrate and be the best, things won't be handed to you on a silver platter; you have to work for them, that way, when you get them, you wll know you truly deserved it.
How come THAT doesn't surprise me *rolls eyes*