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not even a petunia

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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2010|03:20 pm]
not even a petunia
GREETINGS FROM AUSTRALIA

the latest country i have claimed as my own, hyuk hyuk
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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2010|12:33 am]
not even a petunia
LJ is being a douchebag and pissing me off
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(no subject) [May. 21st, 2010|12:08 pm]
not even a petunia
I've had some really interesting discussions with people (but OH GODDD I cannot remember who) about smut fics.

I like reading them. IM GROSS

I like smut, hurrrr.

First time fics are something else, though.

lol@ "realistic first time sex" depictions in fanfic:

Virgin knows exactly what she wants and feels good and IS NOT UNCOMFORTABLE and comes 50000 times and is wet enough to float a barge despite losing like three pints of blood because it IS HER FIRST TIME and and and..they come together.

(don't even get me started on hymens in fics.)
hymen is a terrible word.
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(no subject) [May. 11th, 2010|03:33 pm]
not even a petunia
OH YEAH I AM ON A ROLL

wrote a new story: Orihime and Ichithing's Big Date

it's so beautiful, the angels are weeping in my lap.

read at ff.net, or here, UNDER THIS LJ CUT:

READ MOARCollapse )

author's note: some of the justifications used by militant IchiHime shippers are ... odd ... to put it lightly and passive-aggressively (which is my favorite kind of -ly). heart-shaped rocks somehow represent true romance, but not the actually, you know, gaining of a heart. i applaud their astounding logic because ... it makes perfect sense. this really isn't a dig at the IchiHime pairing or those who ship it; it's a swipe at the idea that while Ichigo was that monster, he was capable of romance. how does that saying go? oh yeah: you can't be a terrifying, unthinking, unfeeling, war machine of a monster without being a romantic at heart. (o wait wat ichigo had no heart in that form, lol. oh well, that classic saying still applies.)

please review. if you leave a review, i'll contact you on chat roulette. oh baby
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(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2010|11:57 am]
not even a petunia
updated my fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5734615/1/Comparatively_at_Home_in_Prison


praise me.
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(no subject) [Apr. 27th, 2010|02:36 pm]
not even a petunia
WELL I'M BACK IN THE STATES

and 21 now.


*looks around*


i forgot how boring it was here.

HOW AM I GOING TO FIND A JOOOOBBB ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH THE JOB MARKET SUCKS

I FEEL LIKE AN ADULT

someone hire me! fuck yeah! sounds awesome!
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(no subject) [Apr. 11th, 2010|01:29 am]
not even a petunia
there is a world of difference between a 19 year old australian boy and a 21 year old american girl.

oh SNAP.

but no, really.

today i went to the zoo and a gorilla came up the glass and attacked me.

it's a great idea to write as much as possible. writing, like tennis, is a skill that you lose so. effing. fast. if you do not engage it every day. being a former university newspaper editor, this is something that i feel, like, much too much too much too much too much.

i am far too old to be this foolish. (21? is old? actually, naaaaaah, i take it back.)

this would make more sense if it were in numbered form. more cohesive. YES!


OH, SWEET NEWS. i just got a work visa for australia. i applied because of shits and giggles. (or for shits and giggles?) THAT'S MY NEW COUNTRY TO MOVE TO. yuuuuuus.
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(no subject) [Mar. 23rd, 2010|01:27 pm]
not even a petunia
HEY GUYS IT'S MY BIRTHDAY I'M 21 AND NOW I CAN DRINK ANYWHERE ANYTIME ANY PLACE

thank god I can celebrate this splendid occasion by ... being in Canada. specifically, the alberta provence, where you can drink once you hit age 18. turning 21 is not important to these people.

also, their alcohol is really expensive.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2010|01:37 pm]
not even a petunia
hey, kids.

i'm writing a fic, and it's beautiful: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5734615/1/Comparatively_at_Home_in_Prison

now go read it and say wonderful things.
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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2010|09:21 pm]
not even a petunia
I just ate a whole box of gushers and now nature has decided that I do not deserve to live and now my stomach is killing meeeeeee
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