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 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

May 18th, 2006 (02:06 am)

Got bored, made a doll of myself. Oddly, I'm dressed how I usually am...guess it's just me preparing to be a mortician. Oh, and that cat's attitude and cuteness reminds me of Bisy.

elouai&apos;s doll maker 3

 Jessica [userpic]

100Songs Table

May 3rd, 2006 (05:15 am)

001.Waiting (Save Your Life) 002.I Hope You Dance 003.Whatever Happened to the Heroes 004.Always Come Back to You 005.Shed My Skin
006.Everybody’s Fool 007.Walk Away 008.The Ghost of You 009.Fallen 010.Best of You
011.On Fire 012.Knowing Me, Knowing You 013.Together 014.I’m No Superman 015.Overkill
016.When You Say You Love Me 017.A Moment Like This 018.Waiting for My Real Life to Begin 019.Let Go 020.Someday We’ll Know
021.Learning to Breathe 022.Synesthesia 023.The Days of the Phoenix 024.This Love 025.Harder to Breathe
026.She Will Be Loved 027.Take Me Away 028.Miss Independent 029.Someday 030.Wherever You Will Go
031.Let it Go 032.I Miss You 033.In the End 034.I Hate Everything About You 035.I Love Myself Today
036.Boulevard of Broken Dreams 037.White Flag 038.Surrender 039.Tears in Heaven 040.Bridge Over Troubled Water
041.Colorblind 042.Adam’s Song 043.Crash and Burn 044.Truly, Madly, Deeply 045.You’re Beautiful
046.Never Ever 047.Play Dead 048.Holy Tears 049.Insatiable 050.The Leaving Song
051.Come Clean 052.Anywhere but Here 053.Don’t Turn Around 054.The Sign 055.I'm Your Man
056.Pretending 057.And Love Said No 058.In Joy and Sorrow 059.Heartache Every Moment 060.Monday Morning
061.Introduction to a Broken Heart 062.Be As 063.Angels 064.On My Own 065.Poetic Tragedy
066.Go the Distance 067.Going Under 068.You and Me 069.Beautiful 070.Thank You
071.Perfect 072.Accidentally in Love 073.Cry Me a River 074.Bless the Broken Road 075.I Will Remember You
076.Wrong Impression 077.Unpretty 078.Somewhere Over the Rainbow 079.Never had a Dream Come True 080.Nothing to Lose
081.Lies 082.Homeward Bound 083.Crawling 084.Breaking the Habit 085.Landslide
086.Pieces of Me 087.El Condor Pasa 088.The Sound of Silence 089.Rainy Day Man 090.Fighter
091.Live Like You Were Dyin’ 092.The Color of Blue 093.Turn Back Time 094.Good Guys 095.Good Morning Sunshine
096.The Noose 097.Writer‘s Choice. 098.Writer‘s Choice. 099.Writer‘s Choice. 100.Writer‘s Choice.

001.Learn to be Lonely 002.Beautiful 003.It’s About Time 004.Allstar 005.Underneath Your Clothes
006.Incomplete 007.I Survived You 008.Pitiful 009.All I Ask of You 010.Defying Gravity
011.Holding Out for a Hero 012.Believe 013.Love is a Battlefield 014.I’m a Believer 015.Two in a Million
016.Viva Forever 017.Goodbye My Friend 018.Calling Dr. Love 019.Invisible 020.Heartbreak Lullaby
021.Drowning 022.Perfect Day 023.Echo 024.Boom 025.Seein’ Red
026.Selfish 027.On the Line 028.Angel 029.A Thousand Miles 030.Gravity Rides Everything
031.Gravity 032.Picture 033.Bad Day 034.The First Cut is the Deepest 035.As Long As You’re Mine
036.The Prayer 037.Where is the Love 038.Quit Playing Games with My Heart 039.Don’t Phunk with My Heart 040.Love is Only a Feeling
041.The Future 042.I Believe in a Thing Called Love 043.Growing on Me 044.The Last to Know 045.Stronger
046.Remember When it Rained 047.For Good 048.No Good Deed 049.My Heart Will Go On 050.What is this Feeling
051.Savin’ Me 052.How You Remind Me 053.California 054.Love Spell 055.Here Without You
056.Life Will Go On 057.Desert Rose 058.Fields of Innocence 059.Here is Gone 060.That Don’t Impress Me Much
061.One Thing 062.Unbreak My Heart 063.Faith 064.Dancing With Myself 065.Arms Wide Open
066.Disease 067.Gonna Change the World 068.Here Comes the Sun 069.Stand by Me 070.Tainted Love
071.Love Me Do 072.Closure 073.Fever 074.Fall Back Down 075.River Below
076.Welcome to My Life 077.She’s All I Ever Had 078.Private Emotion 079.Reflection 080.Going Under
081.Bring Me to Life 082.Haunted 083.Imaginary 084.Taking Over Me 085.Touch
086.I Don’t Want to Wait 087.Do You Only Wanna Dance 088.Baby, I’m a Train Wreck 089.Missing You 090.Karma Chameleon
091.Time of My Life 092.Kryptonite 093.More to Life 094.Eye of the Tiger 095.Blessed
096.Out Here on My Own 097.Writer’s Choice 098.Writer‘s Choice. 099.Writer‘s Choice. 100.Writer‘s Choice.

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

April 4th, 2006 (05:49 am)

ficalbum One CD, Multiple Stories
Author: _parthenos_
CD: Enchant by Emilie Autumn
Character/Pairing: Penelope Clearwater
1. Across the Sky
2. How Strange
3. Chamber Maid
4. Rapunzel
5. Ever
6. Second Hand Faith
7. Juliet
9.Rose Red
10.Castle Down
11. Heard it All
12.If You Feel Better
13. Save You
14.What If
Progress: 0/14

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 28th, 2006 (03:24 pm)

Great. I'm depressed again, and or no reason. I've not eaten in forever, and once again I didn't go to class, (well, ater being sick, though, I wasn't sick today). I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe once I finish my homework, I'll feel better.

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 27th, 2006 (08:29 pm)

Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won't hurry away

He will hold me fast
I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore
Like the last time
And the time before

Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 27th, 2006 (05:07 am)

current mood: shocked

What. The. Fuck.

This will end bad. I have to stop it.

Throwing our lives away for one happy day?

No vows, but enough said.

Oh God...

The Poet. The Courtesan. No Dwarf Dressed as a Nun. No Unconcious Argentinian. No Zidler. No Duke. No Moulin Rouge.

Why live life from dream-to-dream, and dread the day when dreaming ends?

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 14th, 2006 (03:24 am)

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is low.
You see love as a gift that you should give to many.
It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time...
Let alone one person for the rest of your life!

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!


Your dominance is high.
It's your way or the highway when it comes to love.
You like to be very involved in your sweetie's life.
No question, you like to be the one calling the shots.


Your cynicism is medium.
You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...
But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.
You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.


Your independence is high.
You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.
Having your own life is very important for you...
Even more important than having a relationship.

That's pretty right. Fucking Valentine's Day. How is it that every single Valentine's Day, I have been completely alone? How is it that other women have long term boyfriends and for me, 'long term' means two weeks? I have wanted one, but then they never amount to anything? What is it? How am I not 'girlfriend material'? How is there a guy out there for everyone, but not for me?

At my dad's wedding this weekend, I was the only one without a date. Yes, I asked Jon, but he's out of town. I guess he's my perspective, but those things never amount to anything, so I'm not bothering even dreaming, but it's really hard when the wishes keep coming. I hate it. I wish I never felt anything for any guys, and there were never ones I wanted for whatever reason. I wish he had not shown me kindness, or even a hint of interest. He said that he would like to go on a date with me, but that doesn't mean anything. He could have just been saying that for me to go away.

Then, there's the actress/courtesan part of me, that keeps wanting love to be an adventure. And, as we all know, the biggest adventure in love is falling in it. I have always wanted my love to be a love story, and the closest 'love story' I have had, was with Professor Steve. Then, when my 'love story' is done, do I just die like Juliet, as the story is through?

I want to say my love problem is that I give-up before I get in, but it's like no one wants me 'in'. Like I'm not real...just their doll. They will say how I am beautiful, be in awe of me, but that's it. Like a work of art, that once viewed, one can say they've seen it, taken a picture, and they're through.

 Jessica [userpic]

Girly Quiz!

February 7th, 2006 (11:45 pm)

[x] During the summer, I pretty much wear only flip-flops.
[] The only reason I go to school is for the boys!! Duhh!
[x] My favorite toy as a child were Barbies and dolls
[x] My favorite color is purple
[x] When I was young I danced ballet - or even as I got older.
[x] I love skirts.
[] Hollister is one of my favorite places to shop.
[x] Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear.
[x] I love chocolate.
[x] I've never had a real job
[x] My hair is straightened or scrunched and worn down almost everyday.
[x] I am on AIM or Yahoo Messanger at least 5 hours a day.
[x] I have at least 8 myspace pictures.
[x] I usually go shopping at least once a week
[x] I love to hang out at the mall with friends
[] I have a real diamond ring
[x] I've had at least 10 boy friends
[x] I've gone to a tanning salon
[x] I go to the beach to tan - not to swim
[x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes - not including flip flops
[] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach obsessively.
[x] I flirt. A LOT.
[x] I change my icon weekly.
[] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic. Unless you gave me money for it!
[] My cell phone might as well become a part of me.
[] I wear eye liner, mascara, or cover up everyday.
[x] I've been or am on a diet.
[x] Bathing suits are adorable! That's why I have 3 of them!
[] I dont know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] Big sunglasses are hott.
[x] I have gotten my nails done.
[x] I own over 10 handbags.
[] MTV is my favorite channel.
[] All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys, boys and more boys!
[x] I love to have other girls do my hair and make-up.
[] I don't understand how people can like Fall Out Boy, From First to Last, System of A down, and all of those other crazy bands!
[] I hate bugs!
[x] Carnivals are very fun.
[] Summer is THE best season.
[x] I don't do sports.
[] I HATE to run. Unless I'm tring to get away for someone or something.
[] I squeal when I am surprised or angry.
[x] I dance ALL of the time
[] I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house.
[x] I only have like 5 billion hair products. Ha..ha...HA
[x] I love dresses and dressing up for no reason.
[x] Every part of my outfit needs to match.
[] I talk on the phone at least 4 times a day with my friends.
[x] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself. O
[] One of my myspace pictures is of me making a kissy face.
[x] Price on clothes hardly matters.
[x] I apply lip gloss 200 times a day
[x] I wish I was a model.
[] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton.
[] I wore something that was semi-slutty on Halloween.
[x] I own Uggs.
[] I pop my collar.
[x] I LOVE to be the center of attention.
[] Guys with mohawks ROCK!!
[x] Horses are beautiful, and fun to ride.
[x] Cats are adorable.
[] Old Navy is like a K-mart
[x] I write poems or my own music
[x] I can get VERY jealous.
[x] I would love to visit or have already visited Hawaii.
[] Valentines day is so cute! It's definitely not just a way to make money!
[] White clothing, accesories, and shoes are totally better than black.
[] I wouldn't be caught DEAD in all black. Unless it was either my or someone else's funeral.
[x] My closet is STOCK-FULL of clothing.
[] I HATE the grungy feeling of a beard. Every guy that I date MUST be clean-cut.
[x] I LOVE to read gossip magazines.
[] I LOVE to gossip!
[] I kiss and tell!
[x] Old ladies are adorable!
[x] I LOOOVE kids.
[] I'm ALL about being vegatarian.
[x] I REFUSE to eat at McDonalds!
[x] I check my myspace everyday.
[x] I LOVE life! Well, most of the time.
[x] I have A LOT of jewlery!
[] My screen names have x's in them.
[] One of my myspace screen names contain <3's.
[x] I would NEVER want to be a guy! Well, almost never.

49% Girly

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 6th, 2006 (02:52 am)

You scored as Theater. You should be a Theater major! Like a bohemian actress, you are seasoned and confident and not afraid to express yourself!






























What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ravenclaw. You are academic, logical, and fond of the process of learning for learning's sake. Often aloof to the real world, you prefer to analyze it and, like many academics, come up with conclusions in accordance with textbook laws but impractical in everyday use. Still, with your value in fairness and your insistence to understand EVERYTHING, your decisions and actions can be astonishingly wise.










Which Hogwarts House Philosophy Fits You Best?
created with QuizFarm.com

 Jessica [userpic]

(no subject)

February 2nd, 2006 (02:41 am)

Shiny. Valentine's Day is coming up. You know, there was only one year when I did not have a completely pathetic Valentine's Day because I didn't have a date; and over that weekend, he had to go out of town because of something to do with his fraternity.

I met a guy today. Too bad he's been dead for forty-five years. Went to the graveyard to take some photos for Photo class, literally stumbled upon this this grave of this guy who died at age eighteen. The grave was pretty dirty and abandoned, I just got this sense of loneliness standing there, so I knealt down and brushed some of the dirt off of the grave, and spoke to him. Well, he didn't answer, but you know... I bought some roses to put on his grave tomorrow so that it isn't so abandonded. Robert. It said "Our Bob" on his headstone. No one visits Bobby anymore. In fact, it looked like I was first one to see his grave in years. Then again, no one really visits me, so Bobby and I share that. Well, they do, but no one ever calls me from school unless I call them first. And then, I walk around campus alone.

I know, that sounds weird, but that's what happened today, so I wrote about it.

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