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69 Love Songs
An erotic diary
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12th-Sep-2008 11:48 pm - The growing fetish
I've been into many of the bog-standard BDSM-related fetishes for a while now, but I recently realized I have another fetish, and it seems to be growing since I identified it.


Men's hands are, to me, probably the most intensely erotic part of their body. Oh, a beautiful pair of eyes or lips will draw me in. A nice ass is always a delight. Broad shoulders are sexy. Hipbones are luscious. But hands...guh. They make me go all weak-kneed and tongue-tied.

What I like in hands:
They should be large in the palm. The fingers should be long, but not too slender. Proportion is key. The nails should be in decent shape, but not over-long. Painted nails are ok (black for preference), but bare is usually better. There should be little to no noticeable hair on the hands and wrists. Rings are fine, but they shouldn't overwhelm the fingers. A wrist ornament enhances the look. My favorites are leather bracers (like with renaissance faire garb) and leather decorative (not binding) cuffs, but even a nice watch can draw attention to the hand. I'm iffy on bracelets, since I find that on a man, they often look cheesy.

Where I like to see them:
On an instrument. Piano is unbelievably hot, but most pianists tend to have more slender fingers than I like. Stringed instruments are good, too: guitar, cello, etc. Holding a glass, pausing before a drink. The angle of the wrist and the lines of the fingers are gorgeous. On someone's throat. This, naturally, ties in with the choking fetish that's also developing.

A pair of thin, snug black leather gloves is guaranteed to get me hot and bothered. They shouldn't be too short, though: the kind that just cover the palm cut the wrist in an unattractive place. They should cover at least part of the wrist.

Men whose hands I love:
* Viggo Mortensen
* Chris Eccleston
* David Duchovny
* Ewan McGregor
* Brendan Fraser
* This guy I saw at a concert in 2000, whose hands I couldn't stop staring at. Why didn't I realize I had this fetish back then?
* A guy I am lucky enough to be dating

And I'll leave you with a couple pictures that always makes me drool:

15th-Nov-2007 05:42 pm - Oooh, look who's actually posting!
The other day, I was doing dishes. I washed and dried a wooden spatula of this type:

It occurred to me to slap it against the palm of my hand. Then I tried it on my inner forearm. Hmm. Interesting. Lots of sting, and it brought the blood right to the surface of the skin.

Later that day, I went to the hardware/housewares store and bought a brand new wooden spatula (slightly thicker and nicer than the one I use for cooking), some fine sandpaper, and some butcher block oil. I brought them home, sanded the spatula, and oiled it. I then rubbed it with some beeswax I had on hand.

This is going to be SO much fun to be spanked with! And it was so darn cheap! I think it'll be nice to use before heavier or harsher instruments, to warm the skin by increasing circulation, and just to get the pain started. I'd love to start making more toys. I think that the local hardware/housewares store will be a great place to go for inspiration!
25th-Jul-2005 08:46 pm(no subject)
Had a lot of fun last night with my dear bug_eyed_freak! I'd wanted to play with him earlier in the day, but due to some misunderstandings, we didn't end up doing much. Last night, though, he said he could be "persuaded" to spend the night at my place instead of going back to his own home. Naturally, I decided to persuade him.

I was freshly out of the shower, clean and naked. He was lying on the bed, relaxing with a book. I climbed on top of him and started kissing him. I can never get enough of kissing that man. He played with my nipples as we kissed, sucking and nibbling at them. I loved it, and he could tell. He pulled out my suction cups from the drawer-o-fun, sucked at my nipples to get the skin wet, and put the cups on them. Instantly, I had this wonderful, warm painful, pleasurable tingling in my nipples. Then he took out the nipple clamps and attached them to his own nipples. It was so exciting knowing he was feeling the same pleasure and pain that I was. I tugged on the chain a little to hear him gasp, and tongued the tortured nipples to hear him moan. Eventually, the clamps got to be too much for him, and he took them off.

Around that time, one of the cups started to hurt me too much, so I took it off and left the other one on. bug_eyed_freak said, "We ought to get you a pump for your clit!" So I suggested we try one of the suction cups on there. The boy obligingly bent to lick my clit and pussy, making me squirm, making me wet. I applied the suction cup as tightly as I could. The feeling was exquisite. It was like the feeling I got when he would suck on my clit while going down on me, but intensified. We explored the cup for a while. I tugged at it. bug_eyed_freak sucked on it rhythmically, which turned me on even more...it was like getting a blowjob from him. Then we broke out the vibrators--the twin silver bullets. We each took one of them and held them against the cup, against my pussy, against the clamp I had attached to my nipple. Finally, I felt my climax coming. I pulled off the suction cup and begged bug_eyed_freak to lick me. I wanted so badly to come with his amazing mouth on me. He was willing and able. His tongue fluttered over my clit while he teased the opening of my pussy with a bullet, until I came. Mmm.

When I had caught my breath, I turned my attention to the gorgeous hard cock that was sitting up and begging for it. I licked and sucked the head of it, then took the entire shaft into my mouth until my lips brushed bug_eyed_freak's balls at the bottom. I love hearing the sounds of his pleasure when I play with him. I took his cock into my hand after a little while, and began to jerk him off while teasing his ass with a bullet. I paused every now and then to suck him or lick him. When he started getting close, though, I just kept stroking him until his hot come spilled over my hand.

He told me later it was the first time anyone had ever jerked him off to orgasm. I so happy that I could give him that. It was the least I could do, after the earth-shaking climax he'd just given me.
24th-May-2005 10:00 pm(no subject)
Boy, it's been a while since I wrote anything here! For a change, I've been too busy having fun to write about having fun!

I had some nice ass play with my gorgeous bug_eyed_freak recently. Both sides. He bought a nice BIG silicone dildo not too long ago...he wanted to get a little more used to having that sweet ass of his violated by a life-sized cock. I put it into my cute little purple harness the other night, and told him to get on top and ride...without starting with a smaller toy or my finger to warm him up. It's rough, yes, but I know he WANTED it rough. He likes it when I hurt him, and when I tell him what to do. He ended up taking the whole thing up to the hilt after some initial pain and slowness, and rocked back and forth while stroking his cock. It was so wonderful feeling him spurt onto me when he came.

Not too long after that, we started out playing one night, and I decided I wanted my cute little red and black plug in my ass. I lubed it up and slid it in, with some effort and a little ouch. Then bug_eyed_freak decided he wanted his matching blue one in. I loved watching him work it in...seeing the pain and pleasure on his face when he finally got it in all the way. He made me come by licking my pussy and fingering me, while I had the plug in. All of it together was amazing. He also fucked me while I was wearing the plug, but then the plug decided to come out. Damn! But I got to suck his cock while playing around with HIS plug. Yummy.

I just finished reading The New Topping Book by Easton and Hardy. It made me hungry for some good sensation play, starting slow and light and working up, rhythmically, to a climax of pain and pleasure. It also gave me a few ideas for waking up the top in me. I can't wait to explore both sides of the power equation more deeply with my lover.
16th-Jan-2005 01:50 pm - The story continues...
I have to smile when I look inside the box. I'm delighted as always by your evil imagination, and really hoping no one else in the restaurant has seen what you've given me. I slip the box into my purse, happy I brought my big everyday one instead of a little evening bag, and excuse myself to the ladies' room.

Once inside, I'm glad to see no one else is there. I step into a stall and close the door. I take out the plug and have a look at it. It's not too big and not too small, just the right size that I will be able to sit down comfortably with it inside me. It's purple, and there's a little cavity in the base where a mini-vibrator slips inside. I debate whether or not you want me to put the vibe in as well as the plug. After all, having a plug in my ass that no one can see is one thing. The noise would be another. After giving it some thought, I put the vibe inside but don't turn it on. I open the packet of lube and squeeze a few drops onto my finger. I lift my dress and slide the finger against my slit, wetting my clit, my vulva, and finally my ass. I come back to my clit again, circling it with little strokes, getting myself aroused. With the lube wetting me, my clit ring will give me plenty of stimulation to make the plug more fun. I lube up the plug too, and gently push the tip of it into my ass with one hand while I keep stroking my clit with the other. Mmm. Lovely. A little ass play is just what I wanted tonight. As I get more turned on, I slide the plug in the rest of the way, gasping a little as the widest part stretches me. Then it's in, and it's time for me to go back out to you.

When I come back to the table, our food has arrived, and you're sipping your wine as you wait for me. I sit down at the table and say, "thanks for waiting." You raise your eyebrows inquisitively, and I smile at you: I've done as you asked. You nod slightly and lift your glass for a toast. I follow suit.

"To new adventures," you say. I echo you, and we clink glasses and drink. I savour the tannins in the zin, and although it's not my favourite, it's delicious, and I know why it's yours. You ask me about work as we start on our food. We chat about such mundane things for a while, and praise the delicious food. As we talk, though nothing you've said has been in any way arousing, I'm getting turned on. Every time I shift my weight, the ball of my clit ring rubs against me, and the plug moves in my ass. I find myself fidgiting, almost against my will, to feel the sensations. You smile at me, noticing what I'm doing, and nonchalantly ask me if I'm ok.

"I'm fine. Just...let's skip dessert, ok?" Your smile broadens at that, and you reach under the table to put a hand on my thigh.

"Oh, we'll have dessert. I want something to end the night with something sweet."
4th-Dec-2004 10:57 am - Maybe Midori's not ALWAYS bad...
I hate the drink. It's just gross. It tastes like alcoholic candy.

The fetish diva, on the other hand, has surprised and impressed me with her grooviness.

My lovely little bug_eyed_freak bought a copy of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and had it shipped to me. I opened it up today and started reading. First, I was surprised and impressed that she wrote so well, and that she had clearly done quite a lot of historical research. Second, I was astounded to find that she had deliberately sought out models of varying ages, colours, shapes, and sizes: she didn't just tie up itty-bitty little petite, perky-breasted Japanese chicks. In fact, one of the models was a woman larger than I am. Not in breasts, but in body. Wow. This went a long way towards easing my one problem with being tied up with ropes: I have always been afraid I'd end up looking like a fat pork roast tied for cooking, not at all attractive. But Midori's work made all her models look lovely. So it's possible. Cool.

I'm so dying to try this now with my boy. I want to tie him up and be tied up. I want to tease and be teased. I love the way you can use strategically placed knots that rub against the clit, the vulva, the anus, or the perineum to enhance pleasure during the bondage. I love the symmetry of it. I saw one style of bondage that puts the bottom's arms behind his back and also binds the torso. I really want to do that on him...his broad shoulders, muscular arms, and narrow waist will look beautiful like that.

I think Midori teaches classes occasionally at my favourite sex shop. I'll have to check those out with my man one day. :)
21st-Nov-2004 10:05 pm(no subject)
So...finally got around to joining a few communities on this journal. They're ones I've read before, but I'm finding there's a lot more I can read as a member! Nice. :)

I would love to post some pictures of myself eventually, on some appropriate community. I've really come to enjoy being photographed. Last night a good (platonic) male friend took some semi-nude shots of me. They weren't pornographic, just artistic. No nipple, even. It did make me think, though, that I really want to take some very naughty pictures soon. I intended to have one of my OSOs take some, which I was going to send to my lovely bug_eyed_freak, but alas, that guy isn't dating me anymore. :( But I know my BEF will take some pictures himself when he comes home. And I will take some pictures of him! I loved showing the ones I already had to our new mutual friend D, a gorgeous bi boy who's sweet and funny and friendly, and who we're going to date when BEF comes home. I loved seeing D's reaction to the pictures, knowing he was hard as a rock looking at them and imagining what it would be like to play with my beautiful boy. Mmm.

I think now that I've lost some weight, I will be even happier to have my picture taken. There's something erotic about photography in general, especially to an exhibitionist. It's this person staring at you, but with the detachment caused by having the camera between you while you pose and show off. Nudes and specifically erotic pictures are even more intense...it makes you feel even more naked than you are, and makes you more aware of how you look to someone watching. It can be a dominant or submissive experience to be on either side of the camera. As the model, you can pose how you like and watch the reaction of your photographer, or you can allow the photographer to pose you as he sees fit, telling you what to do. As photographer, you can be a passive, voyeuristic observer, or you can be an authoritative director of your model's every move. Groovy.

And now it's time for bed. I'm going to bed happy because I got to talk to my boy on the phone earlier today...he asked me while I was masturbating if he could call me sometime. I asked him to call me right away. Within about five minutes of getting on the phone, I was moaning and writhing on my bed with his beautiful voice in my ear and my double headed vibrator in my pussy and my ass. He got off when I did. I love hearing the near-silent sounds of his pleasure. I love knowing that he's daring to touch himself and bring himself to orgasm in a place where other people might well see him. I love knowing I can make him hot enough to want to do that.

So I will be sleeping with a smile on my face tonight. :)
10th-Nov-2004 09:59 pm - My boy on the bottom
My boy asked me to fuck him when he comes home from being overseas, the first night he's back. Mmm. I did that when he came home on a break for the first time. I'd been reluctant to try a strapon when he first mentioned the idea, but at some point, not sure when, I warmed up to it. I realized I wanted to take him like a man would, and feel him yield himself up to me.

I bought the "Bend Over Beginner" kit--yay, purple! I like the way I look wearing it. He loved the way it felt. He stroked his cock while I fucked him, and came all over himself. It was wonderful.

I think this will be a nice way for me to explore domination with him. I feel more dominant when I have a cock. :) I can't wait to make him suck it, and see how he does. I have always wanted to watch him take a cock in his mouth.

Things to look forward to... :)
28th-Oct-2004 10:49 am(no subject)
Sometimes, having a long commute on the way in to work is such a pain. Today, I spent the entire 45 minute-plus subway ride fantasizing about him. I miss his tongue. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a man’s mouth on my clit, on my pussy, on my ass, and his is one of the very best I’ve ever had. I also thought about the other night, when we were playing together on the phone. I listened to him talk dirty to me while I worked my pussy with a vibrator. I started feeling the desire for something bigger inside me, and I asked him if he had ever fisted anyone. He said yes, he had, and asked if I wanted him to do that to me. I told him I’d never done it, but wanted to try it, with him. Somehow, for some reason, the thought that he had done that to someone before turned me on. Imagining the pain and pleasure she must have felt, imagining his satisfaction at bringing out that reaction in her, got me so hot. Knowing he would do it to me was even better.

So this morning, I started off by imagining those lips of his on mine, locked in the passionate kisses we’ve so often shared. I imagined that he’d pinch my nipples as he kissed me, gently when he kissed me gently, and hard when he thrust his tongue into my mouth. He’d move down to my neck and bite me there, hard, then soothe the pain with his tongue. His hands would continue to torment my nipples with soft caresses and hard pinches as he brought out marks on the skin of my neck.

Then he’d move his hand down between my legs, where it would meet with the warm wetness his caresses had coaxed out of me. His fingers would brush my outer lips, then part them, running along my slit from vulva to clit, and then parting my inner lips to slide his fingers into me. His thumb would caress my clit as his fingers moved in and out of me.

At this point, I’d be begging for more, and he’d push me down onto the bed, on my back, and bind my wrists. Then he’d push my legs back towards my head. He’d rim me with that beautiful tongue, making me squirm in pleasure, and then move up to my pussy. He’d tease my vulva for a while, circling my opening and then thrusting his tongue into it, fucking me with his tongue. Then when my hips started moving against him of their own accord, he’d come up to my clit and give it his full attention. He’d flutter his tongue over it, suck on it, nibble a little, pulling at the ring that pierces it. He’d get me so worked up that another few seconds could push me over the edge, and then he’d stop.

When I begged him to keep going, to let me come, he’d instead take out some lube and apply it on his hand. Pushing my legs up again with the other hand, he’d slide a lubed finger into my pussy, and then another, moving slowly so as not to get me past the point of no return. Slowly, slowly, he’d add another finger, until I started feeling some pain and even more pleasure.

Then finally, he’d push his whole hand into me, stretching me out and hurting me, and he’d bend his head to my clit again. With his tongue on my clit and his hand inside me, I’d come so hard, calling out his name, all my muscles tensing and quivering. He’d feel every wave and flutter of my orgasm inside me, and as it slowed and stopped, he’d gently slide his hand out and put his fingers to my lips to taste my pleasure on them.

Jesus. Why do I think of these things in the morning, knowing they’ll torment me all day and I won’t be able to get myself off?
12th-May-2004 04:34 pm - For my love, a treat:
This is what I was thinking about today:

You and me, lying on a blanket on the grass, in the shade of a tree. We're naked, looking up at the light coming through the leaves, and at the clouds. The warm spring air wraps our bodies, and cool breezes refresh us. For a while, we just talk about idle things--the shapes we see in the clouds, just things that make us happy. I'm lying with my head pillowed on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. Then I lift my head and move up to kiss you. It's a slow, languid kiss. It starts out with me sliding my tongue over your lips, then parting your lips to touch my tongue to yours--lightly at first, teasing, then with more pressure.

Your arms come around me, and your hand caresses my bare ass. I roll over on top of you, and my breasts press softly against your body as I kiss you. The wet lips of my pussy rub lightly against your cock, which is starting to get erect. I move my hips against you as your hands come around to stroke my breasts and pinch my nipples.

I let you do that for a while, then I push away your hands and move down to take your cock into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around the head first, one hand stroking your balls. Then I take more of the shaft into my mouth, until you're all the way in. You can feel your entire cock enveloped by my warm, wet mouth, with my tongue ring rubbing against your shaft. I alternate the deep throat with teasing flicks of my tongue, watching you writhe with pleasure as the sensations change.

By this time, I'm hot enough that I need you to pleasure me too. I get up and straddle your face backwards, letting you tongue my soaked pussy as I stare out at the grass and trees around us, listening to the distant sound of voices, people who are just out of sight from our spot. And then I feel you sucking on my clit, and I moan with the pleasure of it. I lean over and take your cock into my mouth again, and every time you make me moan you feel the vibration of it against your cock.

Being outside and nearly in public view like this has us both so turned on that we're close to coming in minutes. Before that happens, I get up and turn around, sinking down onto your hard cock, taking you into me up to the hilt. I ride you fast and rhythmically, my clit rubbing against your body as I do. You take hold of my ass in both hands, squeezing the flesh there hard as I fuck you. Then you explode inside me, just as I cry out with my own orgasm. You pull me tight against you as we ride out the waves of it together. I lie on top of you like that while we catch our breath, the cool spring breeze drying the sweat on our hot bodies. We hold one another, still joined, naked in the spring air.

Mmm. Now I'm all hot and bothered. Yum.
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