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[15 Feb 2005|10:09pm]
♥ tequila sunrise - all tequila, no sunrise
♥ black silky baby doll shirts
♥ getting out of one class early and finding out that your next (and last of the day) class is canceled
♥ tonight's episode of Scrubs
♥ tax refunds
♥ my boyfriend when he is concentrating on a video game
♥ having no plans for the weekend
how does it feel?

[21 Oct 2004|10:14pm]
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cuz blue eyes
You’re the secret I keep
how does it feel?

[05 Oct 2004|10:29pm]
there's nothing i love more than a boy who can make me laugh those hearty belly laughs.
how does it feel?

[16 Jun 2004|01:12am]
I am an old woman, named after my mother
My old man is another, child that's grown old
If dreams were lightning, thunder were desire
This old house would have burnt down, a long time ago

Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery
Make me a poster from an old rodeo
Just give me one thing that I can hold on to
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go

When I was a young girl, well I had me a cowboy
He weren't much to look at, just a free rambling man
But that was a long time, and no matter how I try
The years just flow by, like a broken down dam

There's flies in the kitchen, I can hear 'em there buzzing
And I ain't done nothing, since I woke up today
How the hell can a person, go to work in the morning
And come home in the evening, and have nothing to say

Angel From Montgomery
1 tore apart| how does it feel?

[09 May 2004|08:17pm]
I've created a new community. I suppose my last post was my inspiration.
Join if you are interested.

[25 Apr 2004|09:53pm]
♥ sleeping till 11am
♥ cuddling
♥ planning for Disney trip this summer
♥ 3 weeks left of the semester!
♥ night time rain
♥ lip gloss
♥ sweet friends
♥ fresh laundry
5 tore apart| how does it feel?

[05 Apr 2004|06:08pm]
(i love how we fit so nicely together during afternoon naps)
how does it feel?

[15 Mar 2004|09:33pm]
he plays "Rainbow Connection" early on Sunday morning.
and you wonder why I love him so...
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

Jason Mraz said it best... [23 Feb 2004|02:37am]
Face to palm
Tear to tear
And
Mouth to tongue
Heart to ground
Heart to ground
Say, "I am in love"
Say, "Heart to ground"
Say, everything
Oh, Heart
Oh, Heart
Oh, Heart to ground
I am in love
4 tore apart| how does it feel?

thirty days in five lines [22 Feb 2004|09:30pm]
in the past month or so i've:

- enrolled back in college
- gotten a sweet part time job (with potential of a career)
- had a top secret sweet love affair which i've recently told everyone about so 'tis not so top secret but still sweet

what i'm saying is i'm back.
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

[19 Jan 2004|09:16pm]
I'm toying with the idea of making this journal friends only. I'd hate to do it, but I would (ironically) feel more open and I've had a few friends who have had things copied by others and I don't want to go through that. So, if you are already on, no need to worry. But if you would like to be added, now would be the time to ask. I'm looking to increase my poetry on here...
how does it feel?

[23 Dec 2003|10:27pm]
In honor of the holidays,
I am leaving beer and cookies
for Santa
(just like when I was in elementary school)

maybe if I get him sauced up enough,
he'll leave me that mad-expensive I-Pod
that's at the top of my list.
(or at least scratch me off the "naughty" list)
3 tore apart| how does it feel?

[23 Dec 2003|12:30am]
I was just thinking the other night
silly thoughts
thoughts of you.
you creep up every once in a while.
and i wonder if i do the same.

(anyway)

i was thinking about that weekend
with snow on the ground.
we were apart
because you were in the guard
and it was your weekend.

but you picked me up after you got out on Sunday
freshly showered
(i always loved that smell)
and we were safetly out of my driveway
but not three houses away
when you pulled the car over.

i looked at the dash and then back to you
with my brow furrowed in question
surely nothing was wrong with the car
?
and a grin grew upon your face
slowly
slyly
and you said,
"sorry, i just can't wait to kiss you."
and you pulled me in close.

i blushed
but i also fell in love with you
more deeply than before

and even now,
just thinking.
how does it feel?

[18 Dec 2003|11:23pm]
Well neither one of us deserves the blame because opportunities moved us away
And it's not an easy thing to learn to play a game that's made for two that's you and me
The rules remain a mystery. See it can be easy.

Jason Mraz "Absolutely Zero"
5 tore apart| how does it feel?

[14 Dec 2003|12:19am]
Here is one of my favorite poems. What is yours?

I Carry Your Heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

--e.e.cummings
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

[11 Dec 2003|07:54pm]
as much as i hate to admit it
i still remember the sound of your voice
and the way it makes
the hairs on the back of my neck
stand up straight
how does it feel?

[04 Dec 2003|07:38pm]
i cried and cried tonight
until i couldn't remember
what i was crying about
it was a mix of things
all happening at once
things i really can't control

but when all else fails
just cry and cry
until you can't cry
anymore
but just know
you will
5 tore apart| how does it feel?

[30 Nov 2003|01:19pm]
one of my biggest fears
is that those words he says
aren't just for me
how does it feel?

lofty thoughts [27 Nov 2003|09:10pm]
i over-flowed my soda as i was thinking of this...

i've had a few serious relationships
with the last one, i actually had a moment of "this is the one"
but it didn't work out. actually, i think i've thought of that
with my last two relationships, but the last one was the strongest.

will i ever really know?
is it like lightning striking?
is it a fleeting thought...
a feeling?

my mom told me of how she stopped at a stop sign
and the car at the other stop didn't go
so she hesitated
and it still didn't go
so she cautiously went
and as she drove by
she looked into the other car
and there was a couple
kissing

they were in their 70's
i want that more than anything.
1 tore apart| how does it feel?

[24 Nov 2003|05:46pm]
every once in a while, i get in this mood
i just push and push and push
until i'm alone.

i feel so lost
and nothing will satisfy me right now

i'm not depressed - far from it
things are going well
i'm just....blank
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

[24 Nov 2003|05:46pm]
last night i soaked in the hottub
alone

(pure bliss)

it got a bit hot
so i sat on the "cooling seat"
which meant just my legs were in the water

and i looked up
at the stars
dancing
and it reminded me of the time
i was stuck at a traffic light
and a shooting star
streaked across my windshield

it looked as if out of a movie

and so i thought
it would complete my night
to see that again

i waited

and waited

. . .

and forgot

then i looked up again
and there it was!
and i watched it dissappear
just as quickly as it appeared
and i tightened my eyes

and wished

what i always wish for

a wish for my friends and family
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

[15 Nov 2003|09:30pm]
i want to be the other woman.

i want a boy who has a love affair with a guitar.
4 tore apart| how does it feel?

[15 Nov 2003|10:52am]
i'll wake up early in the morning and let you sleep in. just smile at that peaceful look upon your face. wondering what is going on in that head of yours. hoping you see me in there. i'll make my way to the kitchen and put on the coffee. you're not as big of a coffee drinker as i am but you love the fact that it is one of my vices. matter of fact you like to buy me different kinds of coffee to try [but never starbucks]. i'll turn on the tv and curl up in a blanket to watch some cartoons or cheesy disney show. you're in the next room and i know you'll need at least another hour. you're a night owl - i'm not so much anymore because i've gotten used to getting up early five days a week for work - but sometimes you keep me up. sometimes we talk late in the night. whispered words and promises. we can be more open in the dark.

maybe i'll make my french toast waffles - they're really the only breakfast food i know how to make - but you love it all the same. when i finish i'll crawl back in bed with you. the sun is fighting to come through the blinds. i love the way it glows white. you've turned away from the window since i left. you move a little as i touch your cheek. your eyes flutter a bit. then you open them slowly - focusing. once you realize you are staring right at me, you smile sleepily and mutter "mornin'" and reach out to pull me in closer. i love these moments the most. silent but full of words.

we'll eat together in our pajamas. and laugh at eachother's hair - smooshed from the bed and pillows. we have no plans but that's the best. maybe we'll stay in and watch movies, order takeout and stay in some more. don't answer the phone. we'll go a little batty from staying in all day so we'll have to go for a walk or chase eachother around the tiny apartment. we'll spend the evening talking in accents though you are much better than me so you'll call me your "leetle american girl." we'll curl up in bed again, lights off talking. we reveal more each time. you're still so mysterious to me. and we'll start over again.

i haven't met "you" yet but i know exactly who "you" are.
1 tore apart| how does it feel?

[09 Nov 2003|01:01am]
i want to yell at you
i want to scream at you
i want you to understand how it feels

but most of all
i want to hear from you.
1 tore apart| how does it feel?

[23 Oct 2003|06:42pm]
remember that time...that winter? we drove to the new mall just to be somewhere different.
we went to a record store and each bought our own copy of Live at Luther College
i can always remember when that album came out because of that weekend
when we left the mall, and came back into the car i discovered my cd case was cracked
and you knew how anal i am about my music so you swapped cd's with me without hesitation

and i smiled back.

we listened to it on the way to visit our mutual friends. do you remember?
everyone had that album and we would say, "hey did you hear that song?"
and then we'd say "daaaaaaaaaamn thatgirlwasFINE!"

we went to a bar to see your friend's band play.
and i thought i was cool to be in a bar. to see a band. to meet all your friends.
to be with you.

anyway, you are the guy that i compare all others to.
i probably will for a long time.
it's not that i want you back, we are different people now but i'm glad to have that
to have you in my heart. and to think of you when i hear "Little Thing"

But, hey, I think that I would recognize you in a second
But, hey, I only saw you for a minute, maybe less
2 tore apart| how does it feel?

[21 Oct 2003|06:14pm]
i only miss him
when i think of him
and i think of him
all the time
1 tore apart| how does it feel?

[12 Oct 2003|07:11pm]
[ mood | humble ]

thank you for your lovely comments.
though i must say that reading comments that say "your writing is inspiring" or "beautiful"
catches me a bit off-guard. i suppose i am a bit suprised by this.
i was always a strange little girl with my nose in a book or a pen in my hand.
but my writing was always a release and i could never dream of doing this for money.
and when i write about a subject [mostly what is haunting me], it's as if the words flow
pen to paper and the feelings diminish a bit. those words float out in cyber space
and they slowly no longer are a part of me. then they are open for interpretation which
is always both interesting and flattering.

but your comments are always inspiring and beautiful.

5 tore apart| how does it feel?

[08 Oct 2003|10:52pm]
i still have not forgotten.
how does it feel?

indo.com [05 Oct 2003|10:37am]
2490 miles (4007 km) (2163 nautical miles)
how does it feel?

[22 Sep 2003|06:00pm]
there is nothing quite as beautiful
as your heart beating with mine....

except maybe the sound
of two acoustic guitars
battling it out
5 tore apart| how does it feel?

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