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|Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006|
|This post was brought to you by the letter E
Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and than pass out letters to those who want to play along.
The letter 'E' was given to me by http://bevanmoth.livejournal.com/
Listed in no order
Epiphany - What people on drugs think they are getting when they realise that all we need to do is love each other more and all the worlds problems will magically go away.
E-Commerce - What I do now
Evanescence - One of my fav bands
Entrē - A pretend meal for people who don't eat much
E-Coli - The reason I don't eat from some of the places where I work.
Entertainment - All people seem to worry about nowadays. The concept of 'hard work' in order to 'get somewhere' is foreign to them
Expert - What people are. just ask them
Executive - A fancy word meaning 'pompus individual'
Exit - Whay are these green signs placed above doors, where they will be obscured by smoke in the event of a fire emergency?
Energy - Comes from having a purpose, and a drive. Ever noticed that many people that have no energy to do anything, dont have a dream in life?
|Friday, January 6th, 2006|
Okay, I've been on a self help system for about 4 months now
I found a book that is fantastic, and i reccomend that everyone read it at least once.
Its called Personality Plus
, by Florence Littauer. Read it once, and you will understand why you are the way you are, and why you arent' the way others are.
the more times you read it, the more you'll start to understand those around you.
well worth it
|Monday, December 5th, 2005|
|yeah, this thing
Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one or a lot of reason[s] why I like/love/adore you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.
|Saturday, November 26th, 2005|
|Security is an odd proffession..
Had two offers to work tonight. Took one, and it bombed out, and the other now isnt available because I didn't take it earlier.
You don't expect to be asked (read begged) to do a job, and when you turn up, you find there are two people already doing it. They were willing to leave, but I took stock of the situation, and believed leaving them to it to be the better course of action. There were 15 drunks lined up on the footpath watching the cars, and only one of me. At least they had an offsider. Plus there are thunderstorms on the way, and I dont really want to be out in it tonight.
So I left it, and gave up $170 of 'easy' work.
So to recap. I have no work. Lauren has no work. There is no work currently on the horizon, for at least 2 weeks, and then it will be picking fruit ...
What keeps me going? Well I have a business opportunity that once setup will make me a lifetime of money. I have a fiance that I would do anything for. I have god's promise of leading me to this point, which means he has a plan for me beyond it. It may not be easy, but it will be the best course to take.
World, Bring it! Current Mood: contemplative
|Saturday, November 12th, 2005|
Current body temp 39 degrees. way above what it should be. I dont feel all that poorly, but i have no energy or drive to actually do anything. LAN on today. I wont be going. which sucks, because I wanted to. And for the first time in a while I could've made it. Havent been eating much, if anything, and have been shivering a lot. Started to feel off on Thursday after lunch, and have since fallen to pieces. Just after Lauren started to get better after a 4 day migraine. Done nothing really except play Rome: Total War. War Elephants rock my world. I think Lauren was getting crook today too, so maybe I'll be looking after her for the next few days too ... Its a cycle it seems. One is crook, while the other is ok. Current Mood: listless
|Wednesday, October 5th, 2005|
|Took me longer to do this than I hoped ... :p
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
Just for the hell, I'll post for Ruthie too, as he'll no doubt read this 30 seconds after I post it. :p
1. You at one stage had a bent goatee
2. One Winged Angel
3. Siff Jello! Chocolate!
4. Battered Sav
5. Slang. We had no idea who you were from the forums, and you turned up after an AWL I think.
6. A Wolf. A Lone Wolf
7. It is difficult for you to call a person a friend? You once decribed LANning in Albury as opposed to shepp as lanning with people you dont like, or with people you dont hate.
8. Done. In advance even
9. Going to add to this. Put in one heart felt comment about the other person.
While it has taken me a long time to get to know you Andrew, given that we'd often go months without being in the same area code. While you are at times odd in your mannerisms or your approach, I have never detected anything sinister in you. I count you as a friend, and a person I can trust if need be.
1. You are an Audiophile
2. Magical Trevor (yes, you playig it at the lan for hours)
3. see above
4. Tough one. I dont think we've really got anything here ... ?
5. Hmm, playing counterstrike in Slang early days. It was the night we put on Aliens on a projector at 2 am. Good days ...
6. Due to your avatar, a phoenix.
7. Nothing really that I can think of.
9. You have always been one to help out others, and to go the extra mile for someone else, which I appreciate a great deal. While I dont feel theres much I can do for you given the distance, if you can think of anything, I'm all ears (or toes, whichever is needed to get the job done). Current Mood: contemplative
|Wednesday, August 31st, 2005|
|Life is strange. The way things happen that could never be predicted
I havent managed to tell you yet ruthie, as I havent seen you online, but I figure you always see an update here 5 minutes after I do it, even tho I rarely ever do.
I'm engaged now. I asked Lauren to marry me yesterday on the banks of the murry near Mildura. Things have been busy and moving insanely the past few months, and I couldn't be happier.
All I can say to you is to have faith. I followed god to this point in my life, and this is where i am.
|Saturday, June 25th, 2005|
|The waiting game sucks, lets play hungry hungry hippo's
So Lauren is due back today. They should have arrived last night in Melbourne, and stayed over at a relatives to arrive in Shepp some time today. And here it is 1 o'clock in the afternoon and she isn't here yet. now doubt begins to make me wonder if I got the day wrong, or if there were delays or a myriad of other things.
I sit here pretty much unable to start anything as I'm not motivated to do so, and no games are holding my interest. Every car that drives past makes me look, and its really starting to shit me. Its like when you are waiting to be picked up by someone, and they could arrive at any minute. You sit and wait bored, and jumping up ready to go with every car noise.
Now imagine a day of that and, you'll know where I'm at. And no matter how much I try and get into somthing to take my mind off it, I can't seem to.
|Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005|
I have been keeping a regular journal of late
Pen and paper journal
Lauren has been gone in Fiji for 8 days now with her family, and I have found writing down my thoughts has been beneficial. Having them down on paper seems to stop them from constantly swirling about in my head.
2 months ago I was happy and content with my lot in life. I was not overly fussed that I was alone, and I didnt feel lonley. I did not get depressed or melancholy, and I wasn't desperate for human contact.
After being so used to life alone before, now I find it almost unbearable. And this is no doubt only a taste of the lows that others I know must feel, given what they write in their journals.
So here's to a greater understanding through pain.
Man this sucks.
4 more days.
|Thursday, March 10th, 2005|
|more work? yes mi'lord
There is a large concert going on, which is being set up to get people here to do fruit picking. I just recievd a SPAM MESSAGE to my mobile number telling me that it's on. I then recieved a call from my Instructor giveing me a guys name and number to call. Long and short of it is I will be keeping an eye on the stage and equipment tonight, to ensure nothing is stolen. A $200 cash in hand job. Not bad really. That should make me enough to pay the ATO their damned money back. Current Mood: calm
Rather surprised myself today.
Had a grading at training. I did not grade, because I am not comfortable with one of the kata I need to know. So one of the guys ran me through it before we started, and I ran through it anyway, just to test myself and see for next time. Now as you gain higher ranks, you have to demonstrate more techniques (well duh) but you have to do all the early ones too, and show some form of progression. Meaning the grading for a higher level requires a great deal more fitness, due to there being more stuff to do. Pushups, situps and squats also gain, and this is just to show general fitness. I was a bit ragged going through the last time, and there was a lot more going against me this time. More to do, I was feeling a bit off, the heat was really oppressive, and I was not sure I had it all together, unlike last time.
So I resolved to go through till the end of the brown belt grading, just to see if I could do it.
Ended up doing all the requirements for black instead, because I missed the point where brown cut off. So despite everything, I am fitter and more skilled than last time by a fair margin, even though I would not have said there was much difference.
This left me with a feeling of accomplishment, despite me not actually gaining a rank from the night.
In other news my uncle is down for a week, staying at my place. He's doing a security installation at Shepp News, and needs to be up at 6am. We only just stopped talking about stuff, and causing each other pain in demonstrations. It's good to be able to see what he's on about, rather than hear about it over the phone. Everything in Aikido is _very_ intricate, adn requires a lot of training in order to achieve any measure of sucess. There is no blind swinging of limbs in that style at all. They dont even spar or hold any form of tournaments. But they do train full contact, and thats somthing we lack.
Also theres a LAN on this weekend. Struggling to find ANY enthusiasm. I figure I might as well analyse this to see why.
No games have come out in a while that have caught my interest. Savage was the last, and before that it was at least a year.
There has been dwindlig support from players, and unless we get a big response, and SOON, we're going to a bi montly format. If not one every 3 months.
WoW has fulfilled my need for entertainment, chat and multiplayer gaming all in one. And has done so for the past 3 months. I enjoy a team struggle to beat the odds, and this game delivers that form of gameplay as its staple diet.
I have found myself to be the centre of attention at LANs, whenever a problem occurs. As the most likley admin to be there, I get approached with all the hairy problems.
Dean and Linda wont be there. That means more work and less enjoyment. This is exponentialy growing
I got used to not having to LUG my gear about after 3 months of WoW
We lanned last week here, and again about a month earlier.
Brother might have the weekend off and wants to do stuff. I saw him the other day for only the second time in as many months.
The last lan consisted of 2 n00bs (yay need more) nitro, and everyone else i would have invited for a houselan. A 'commercial' lan is so much more effort than a houselan.
Now the reasons that I am actually going to be LANning
Ruthy is going to be there, and hassn't been able to make it to anything for a while.
It's already been announced.
I do not want this lan to die. I have put soooo much damn work into it in the past 4 years, I cant bear to see if fall when it really should be going places.
If we start canceling events, then we're as good as dead anyway.
Its still better than AWL. So there
We might be getting some n00bies turn up like last time. If we waint on, then they wont be back.
So SCGI is on again. I am becoming increasingly frustrated with it, and while I have not set a time to pull the pin, there had better be some increase in turnout, or it's just not going to be worth the effort.
Oh and ph34r my typo ability! Current Mood: accomplished
|Saturday, February 26th, 2005|
|Humanity is a strange thing
Wasn't too bad.
Stayed on the door for most of it, and did a little walking around inside. Even though it was quite chilly, I preferred to be on the door. Had a couple guys cause trouble. One was ejected and after the crowd controller had gone inside, he broke some salt, threw a coin at the door, and waved his hands about. Placed an aboriginal curse on the guy or somthing. Then sat across the street and yelled at us, before walking off. Funny, he was very contrite when the crowdie who threw him out was there, but grew balls when he was on the other side of the road.
The other guy got hit and was then removed. He seemed to think it was very unfair.
Another three were out for violating the dress standards. They argued for a good 10 minutes and besides a lot of name calling, they left without incident.
Words, however expressed are just air. If one decided to call my mother a whore, or question the origins of my birth, I have no interest in them except as a potential threat.
From what I saw tonite, I can do this work. I even enjoyed it. If it weren't for the cold... Current Mood: accomplished
|Friday, February 25th, 2005|
|Do you feel safe?
I have what many people would call a fatalistic view of the world. This is because I do not believe that I have control over my life, that what happens is part of a plan that has been laid out for me. I control the choice that I make however. So I am the one answering the questions, not asking them so to speak. This I believe has led to the course of events that have unfolded in the past year of so of my life (such as it is).
I have until the end of march until the NEIS program runs out. This creates some pressure upon myself, as i know that the business I run will not support me when this money runs out. The reasons for this are many and convincing, but the bottom line is that I have lost my drive to do it. I expect that it will remain a part time thing for the foreseeable future, after all my name has been circulating about this city for the past 12 months.
So I either have to make a massive effort to grow the business in the next 5 weeks, or begin the look for employment again. Or so I thought this time last week.
At about 2am on wednesday night I received a call from a friend of mine who works in security. He asked me to work on Friday and Saturday nights. Now Saturday I will be in Melbourne, but Friday I could do so I will. There it is. A job out of the blue. Its been months since I even talked to the people I know in security however. My frame of mind has shifted since then, and doing that sort of work requires a certain attitude and approach that isn't spontaneous for me.
I then talked to me dad when he got home from work in the morning (he works night shift at the same place the afore mentioned security guard works at). He mentioned that Graeme Standen was in Shepparton teaching a class, and the Handcuffs and Batons course was on that day being the thursday. This is the person who took me for the the security class mid last year, and is very well respected in the security industry, not just in this counrty. He is also a Justice of the peace. So at 16:30pm I went to the location I was told, and spent the greater part of the night talking to and associating with the kinds of people that would scare the average human being. These are my friends, in a way that most people won't understand, and aren't expected to. I gave a demonstration of my abilities when asked to, there-by scaring a good 15-20 people. This was apparently the desired result Graeme was after, showing them that anyone can conceal hidden talents. I videotaped a woman being knocked out, so she could see what it looked like. This may sound brutal, but the reason for it is because she felt nothing, and didn't remember the first 10 seconds of waking up. For the next hour her right eye dilated at will, and she was unable to focus or walk properly for 2 hours. This is the sort of thing I learned all night, and in some instances, taught to others. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to talk the talk required to do this. My martial arts abilites backed me up, so I could also walk the walk. (cliches I know, but its my story so back off)
So today I bought appropriate clothing for tonight, and a spare wallet so mine is not lost while working. I also purchased insteps for my shoes so my feet will not complain as loudly after 4 hours of standing up.
Should I prove capable of handling this type of work, this may be the job I required. It will also cause a lot of personal growth to occur, in a short space of time. One cannot but grow up in some way when they are required to beat the living snot out of a violent person.
Expect some more updates to this space in the coming weeks, as I see how things go. This may lead me somewhere, it may take me places unexpected and undesirable. But life was never meant to be a spectator sport. Current Mood: thoughtful
|Saturday, January 29th, 2005|
no updates since i bought World of Warcraft, an here i make my first in ages and its just somthign silly
Make a list of 10 statements about yourself:
* 4 of the 10 statements must be lies.
* Post your list and have people guess which four are lies!
1. I have 4 tonsils
2. I have a noticable streak of grey in my hair
3. I watch far too much television
4. I am pretty unfit
5. I take pride in my personal appearance
6. I have a number of scars from near fatal accidents
7. I like rap
8. One side of my family come from Yugoslavia
9. I own a collection of 'weapons'
10. Most of my firends from high school 6 years ago are still good friends.
Probably the only person who can post anything here is ruth and maybe yawg. I'll give the answers after he/they do
|Friday, November 12th, 2004|
Take Free Big Five Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
Big Five Test Results
|Extroversion (20%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. |
Friendliness (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests.
Orderliness (54%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Emotional Stability (70%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Openmindedness (60%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.
Lots has been going on. Make a speech at the high school
went to see terru prachett
we're still losing but getting much better at cricket
simon is having troubles at school. a kid keep stealing stuff from him. I told him to stab the kid with his pencil, cuz you can get away with stuff like that in primary school.
Blake is now 1 years old. Congrats to Vaughan and Jen.
Lan this weekend. i wonder how many people we'll get.... Current Mood: chipper
|Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004|
|Wet, cold, but miserable? Not a chance in hell!
Golf. Yes golf. don't look at me like that. Its that hobby that is a poor excuse for a sport. The game where people old people fit in tottering about in their hip clothes that they bought when they were young. Golf. Played yesterday at the Merrigum course. If you don't know the name, thats because nobody really should. It's about as remote as you can get in country Victoria. It was raining when we got there. We still decided to play. I was the only one dressed for it wearing a waterproof coat and pants. The others had shorts. It was cold to begin with, but after 2 badly played holes, the rain eased up and we had a chance to warm up. Have you ever played golf? Walk for 3 hours. Thats what it's like to play 9 holes when you have 5 people in the group. Yes we found 5 of us dumb enough to play the worlds dumbest sport in the rain in shorts. The few people we saw out on the track were heading in from when the rain had started, and said we were keen, mad or a mixture of both. Most of us spent the game trying to get back onto the correct fairway after a crappy hit sent us into bushes, the fairway on the side or looking for the ball . We just get to the green on the 9th when the rain starts again. we could hear it coming, sounding like a train. One of the people at the clubhouse had said it hailed in Kyabram. And now we were in it. Ran the 100m to the clubhouse, hiding under the porch as Date brought the car up. stuffed everyone and everything in the car and we started home. Despite the hail, or perhaps because of it i stuck my head out the window for a bit. Don't know why, but it felt good getting pelted while watching nature chuck a hissy fit all around us. The view was spectacular with all sorts of strange stuff going on, like single shafts of light highlighted by the rain, and a pink/orange sky.
Not sick from it, but was very tired. Probably go another 6-8 months before playing again, as per normal. Current Mood: relaxed
|Saturday, October 30th, 2004|
|The information age? Bah I still hate phones
Mine died. Well thats actually a bit simplistic. Actually I killed it. Punched the screen and smashed it. Actually I'm surprised something like this didn't happen sooner. Changed the screens over about 2 weeks ago, and have been living with a dead speaker in the phone since. It makes enough noise when it rings, but I cant hear people talk. in absolute silence they still need to yell for me to hear, and then they distort anyway. Changed the speaker over now and it's working fine so I'm sated. Not pleased, as I still hate the damn things, but if I required one as a necessary evil, then I want it to work. Now it does. Current Mood: accomplished
|And the wheel goes round and round
Been a bit going on. Nothing much of note tho.
My birthday was 2 days ago. Now I am 23. Old? No not really. In terms of things I'm a twenty something. But it wasn't really that long ago that I was a teen, and still at school. The day started with me sleeping in until 11am. Then noticing the time and flying out of bed to get some work done. My GST was due that day. So I tally up the business stuff, fix the paperwork in order, and head down to to bank. Arrive home to find Ruthanolis
there. We sat about for a bit and talked, watched an episode of John Safran Vs God
and had a chuckle at the antics contained therein. Walked to Simons's Primary school to get him, arriving home to find A friend waiting for me to give me a present. She gave me a chest type thing that one burns incense sticks in. And a T-shirt for the biys for their birthdays which have also passed in the last 2 weeks. Just after she left Dean turned up and when he left, Fuller arrived. So I was never short of visitors.
Went to indoor cricket and played against the best team there. Didn't lose by as much as we have in the past, but they were a pain to play against. Not very sportsmanlike and really ruined the whole thing. Plus there was nearly a fight. got home late and played Rome Total War for a while, which is a great game.
Went to see Graham today as he was teaching another security class in Shepp. 3 People. Here's a guy that goes over to the states, and has to lecture in an auditorium to fit in the hundreds of people that are in the class. We had 7 in our last class in June, and he's got 3 this time. Listened to him for a bit while waiting for them to have a break, and found that even the hour I was there changed my way of thinking a bit. Reset the clock so to speak. Well worth the effort to go there. He's looking at retiring very soon, so I doubt that I'll see him too often after next Wednesday, when I attend the Handcuffs and Batons course again. Been finishing everything off for the expo tomorrow. Have a table there with Aaron we see what interest I get. It's kinda a sink of swim thing here. I need to start making a fair amount of cash in the next 2 months, or I'll be rejoining the ranks of the unemployed. And from what Ruth's
been saying, It's distinctly worse than when I was on it 9 months ago. Ah well. Current Mood: gloomy
|Sunday, October 24th, 2004|
|Long weekend crammed into 2 days
Started lanning at catfish's place on Friday. Was a great lan, tho i am not feeling too well after it. I think it may have somthingto do with the kfc i had for breakfast, but i think keeping a bucket nearby might be a good idea.
LAN consisted of me the boys + fuller and dean. aaron, grim and chief rounded out the total. muz dropped in twice to say hi but with no pc. smallish lan, but great fun. CoD:UO was played a fair bit, and by the end of the 2 days, i was starting to catch grim's scores and was even in front in one match. many more deaths, but thats just my style of play ;P. Dawn of War was great fun, and we tried some halo and even DoD. without moving any stuff we could have fit in 2 more people, and i think that would have tipped the lan from really really good to excellent, but alas it was not to be.
anyway i think i'm going to have to watch the rest of oceans 11 and go to bed. before 7 pm. had 90 mins sleep when i got home earlier, but aside from that catnap, i've had none. Current Mood: Feeling poorly
|Thursday, October 21st, 2004|
|Here I sit, bored, and yet busy
Haven't updated in a little while. its not that nothing has been happening, but more that I don't find myself needing to cronologue it. thats a word, trust me. usually i sit and play a game before bed, and talk to people, and i guess thats when i should be updating my journal, but i find that its more of a chore at times than a means of expressing myself, of putting my thoughts into some form of order to write them down. so here i am now, when i should be working, filling out a journal entry. thats what i should have been doing more of latley. working i mean. i have stuff to do, i just find motivation is a problem. i work poorly on my own i am finding. not that i cant do the work, but i cant make myuself do things i dont enjoy when on my own, or unless i have a specific deadline. in uni i went to school like a regular 9 to 5 job for amonth, just to get my work done. and barely managed to get it all done. i dont know how people with jobs and lives managed it. at the time i was pretty care free, and had very little to worry about. not a lot has changed, cept now there are no deadlines, and the work still has to be done. i'm starting to wonder if i'm cut out for this whole business thing, or if having a traditional job with a boss would work better. I just find the idea a pain in the ass. as does everyone else i guess.
still a bit sore from monday. training was pretty tough, and while the aches didnt set in till yesterday, i still have a few today. i need to get myself fitter i guess. i'm nowhere near where i want to be, but once again its the effort required that stalls me. no, scratch that, the effort in this case isnt the problem, its starting the task on my own. going for a jog or mucking about training on my own is no fun. its gets boring really quick, and i do somthing else instead. hmm, i'm starting to see a pattern here ... Current Mood: contemplative